Part 1 of the Q&A has been been completed and can be found here.
Background:
I initially wanted to answer all your questions in one article. However, I received so many questions worthy of a detailed response that it appears I will need to split the Q&A up into 2, 3 perhaps even 4 parts in order to do your questions the justice they deserve. If you don’t see your question answered, it will likely (assuming it made the cut) follow in one of the subsequent parts.
If you haven’t read them already, utilising psychopathy and utilising machiavellianism are required reading before you begin reading through this piece, so if you haven’t read those articles, go and read them. Both articles outline fundamental background knowledge on nature of the dark triad archetype. Without the background knowledge one would acquire from a reading of these predecessor articles, a full capacity to appreciate the questions asked and answers given in this one cannot be assured.
Enjoy.
kranos33 9y ago
Remember guys, these traits are not on/off boolean switches, but more of slider/spectrum. Almost everyone is somewhere in that spectrum (from 0 to 10).
i.e. you can bit a bit narcissist (self centered), which can be healthy, or a full blown one, where it becomes maladaptive.
Most teens (and 3-5 yo), are narcissist by nature. They feel invincible, can do anything, self deluded, etc. Eventually reality hits them in the face and with time they mature up into people with more realistic self esteem (by late 20s, early 30s). But for some, these traits are all pervasive and it gets worse with time.
Machiavellianism is something that it can be learned. Think of it as a good poker player (bluffing, not showing your real emotions, confuse people) or a chess player (thinking always two steps ahead, and sacrifice something short term for much lager gain long term). Hence almost all good business people are a bit machiavellian by default (they have to).
Psychopathy is the only one where you either born with it, or you are not. Can't fake it.
As for dating, try to avoid women that have high degree of all of these traits. The funny thing is that a machiavellian guy, will be able to handle a narcissist girl (they are easier to manipulate), but a machiavellian girl will totally own and manipulate a narcisist guy.
As for psychopaths, they usually don't stick around for too long. They get what they want, and move on. They might be very friendly/glib, but they are always a bit off (they have hard time with emotions. They can fake them, but not quite understand em), and the are almost never interested to stay in the long term around.
Try to avoid a person that has too much of any of these traits.
Schrodingersdawg 9y ago
I read the original post when you first put it up, but it took some time to fully appreciate the scope of what you're saying.
Here's my question: When I cold read a girl, how do I best use that information to get through to her? I met this girl, C this weekend. She "doesn't drink or dance with guys", but she wears really fucking bright red lipstick, has a line of freckles across her face, and heavy eye shadow, blush, cake face all the way. What would be the appropriate way to point out her insecurities about herself due to her heavy makeup and body issues (I'm assuming she uses the bright red to draw attention towards her lips away from her body, which is actually pretty good)?
I've already poked fun at things like her arm fat, and disorganization, she's given me the "You're such an asshole" and related lines which I responded with "and you love me for it."
Do I actually damage my chances with her if I attack her true vulnerabilities with teasing the same way I make fun of her other traits that she doesn't feel insecure about?
anttyk47 9y ago
Sounds like a good idea for an entire subreddit. The art of cold reading for the Machiavellian.
[deleted] 9y ago
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lonGterMgoalS 9y ago
I get how DT traits can be used for attraction but .....then what? As someone who has been diagnosed as showing or having DT traits I know there is the flip side to it.
needz 9y ago
Well. If you ever develop a conscious or shred of empathy the weight of your decisions might crush your soul.
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alreadyredschool 9y ago
Is pussy your main motivator for becoming DT? Or was pussy the main motivator and then you enjoyed the power and decided to master it? Just like many guys start to lift to get pussy and then keep lifting because they enjoy it.
What about the philosophy of happiness and DT? Would you say that you are happier now?
[deleted] 9y ago
I learn tremendously from videos or audio examples. Does anyone have quality YouTube clips or a favorite dark triad character they emulate ?
[deleted] 9y ago
As IllimitableMan rightly says it is hard to acquire a deep understanding of DT by only watching. One has to do, then analize what has been done for the purpose of improving his style the next times he uses the strategies and techniques.
For a personal perpective, I have watched the tv show Hannibal for the purpose of emulating the posture and the general non-verbal communication of the actor.
IllimitableMan 9y ago
There are links to video examples in the article.
[deleted] 9y ago
Good stuff. Surprised to see Frank Underwood from House of Cards left out.
IllimitableMan 9y ago
Haven't watched House of Cards.
needz 9y ago
Get to it if you have the time.
SoftHarem 9y ago
Quick note: The entirety of DT traits are based around empathy, and I firmly believe this is genetic and also formed at such a young age that by the time you are an adult your empathy levels are basically set in stone. This doesn't mean that you cannot take many of the tools from DT and incorporate them into your life, but understand that empathy is a feeling, and we cannot stop this feeling. We can only manage it to one degree or another.
IllimitableMan 9y ago
I 100% agree with you. Jumping off this:
Stoicism is not psychopathy, merely the alternative for people who feel that want to feel less and have more control over their feelings. Stoicism IMO, is something every man needs, it makes him less manipulatable and more in control of himself.
Psychopathy by and large is not an attainable DT trait for the majority of the population. Narcissism and machiavellianism are completely attainable. Depending on your life situation and natural disposition, you may find one or the other easier to acquire, but both are socially obtainable.
Padre55 9y ago
My question centers around psychopathy's definition centering around cultural norms and morays. What would be scandalous in the West is somewhat normal in many Eastern cultures.
If a psychiatrist gave a test on potential psychopathy to someone who lives in East Asia, would the test have the same vaildity of results?
SoftHarem 9y ago
Agreed. I regularly score in the 90th percentile in DT Psychopathy tests and always felt bad when I was younger for judging people, or not reacting to situations with feelings of empathy like the majority did. It was only after I accepted the fact that I am different, and there's nothing wrong with it, that I was able to be a happier man. Once I found TRP and was able to put concepts and ideas to my feelings and instincts, it all become clear.
needz 9y ago
Didn't really have a whole lot of empathy growing up. Got what I wanted and anything I didn't want didn't matter. I worked a customer service oriented job for several years (5+) and now I think I'm overcompensating. I always feel like I'm hiding something though. At this point I don't know what's genuine empathy and what's just knowing how I should respond to be seen how I want to be seen. Honestly, it's a serious problem and I feel like a broken person. Mental illness. Would not recommend.
kranos33 9y ago
If you feel bad about it, then you don't have a dark triad. Being high on the Aspie (Aspeger's) spectrum correlates with a lack of empathy. A lot of engineers have it, (too logical, say things as they are and hurt people in the process), but they don't necessary want to hurt people maliciously.
Eg. Friend 1: Lets hang out at the bar tonight!
Aspie Reply: I don't feel like hanging out with you in a bar tonight. I prefer to watch a movie. <-- The truth, but not socially appropriate.
Normal Reply: I am kinda tired tonight, let's go out another time. <- Polite, doesn't hurt feelings.
needz 9y ago
Is there a co-pay or does my insurance cover this therapy session?