"We Need to Talk." It's a form of controlling the flow of information in an attempt at holding the cards in a conversation or relationship.

It's putting somebody on standby letting them know that there's something serious that needs to be said, and lets them dangle for a while until it is said. What could it be? Is something wrong? Is it bad news? Is it good news? Why the suspense?

Well, I'm not fond of somebody else taking control in interactions, and it's a bad habit to allow others to do so with yours. So I suggest a simple rule that will improve your frame and your personal relationships considerably:

Reject any attempt to dole out tidbits of information, reject any attempt at others controlling the flow of information, and refuse any further attempts after a failed attempt.

Some examples of a party controlling the flow of information:

  • When a girl says she's "fine" or that "nothing's" wrong. She expects you to plead for information. Instead, say "okay" and walk away.

  • When anybody says "we need to talk" and expects the conversation to take place in the future, respond with "if you have something to say, say it now." If they say it "needs to be in person" or they "need time to sit down and really talk about it," just tell them that you're not interested in playing games and if they felt the need to go out of their way to alert you that they needed to talk, they'd go ahead and say it, or forever hold their peace. If, in the future, they try to broach the subject again, shut it down and tell them that you do not tolerate drama and suspense building as a form of communication, and that their communication with you needs to be purposeful or not at all.

  • Any time somebody says "don't worry about it" they are either trying to sweep something under the rug (such as a transgression they made against you), or control the flow of information to you. Act accordingly- Explain that conflict and arguments should come to a natural resolution and not be artificially dismissed, and that you take it as a sign of disrespect. Or, if they are attempting to control the flow of information, you simply say "okay" and walk away. Do not allow them the control of getting you to plead for tidbits of information.

Inevitably these tips will help in all interpersonal relationships, but anybody looking specifically into LTR game will eventually need to pick up on this- as a relationship is a battle of power and power will be usurped from you in any way possible when you are not looking.