Saw a post earlier and it brought me back to this.
How many of you are familiar with the classic ideology of becoming, “a good man” then finding a woman?
That, as portrayed by media and old time belief systems, is not necessarily how it works. My father is a prime example.
My Father had me when he was 20 years old, which is extremely young, and my family doesn’t come from money. Shit was tough, but he said if it weren’t for my mother and I, he would’ve never gotten his shit straight.
Meaning, he was into all kinds of shit, he’s probably the biggest douchebag I know, but he’s kind as hell, and he’s a great man for his actions, not his attitude at all times. He isn’t afraid to give anyone shit, and he doesn’t take shit to heart. He’s a big guy, he’s put an off duty cop into a hospital at a wine festival because he disrespected my mother and got handsy with her. You get the gist, he’s the most typical “man” and he pisses me off a lot, but I love the guy to death.
What I’m getting at is, he didn’t keep my mom around by being “a good guy”, he kept her around by improving his life which improved hers. He manned the fuck up and took care of me, he worked 9 hour days, and went to school until midnight every day to provide for us. It was hard, I saw the stress, I saw their arguments, I saw it all.
Having a beer with my dad at a bar really gets him to open up, I remember him telling me shit opening a sentence with, “don’t tell your mother about this but-“ and here’s what he said.
“When I met your mom I knew I liked her, shit I liked her a lot, but she wasn’t the only girl I had around. What I’m getting at is, don’t put all your eggs into one basket. At your age, you should have a stable of hoes-“
“I didn’t keep her around by being a pussy and telling her she couldn’t go out with her friends and shit, you come off as an overprotective freak. I knew she was going places I didn’t like, and her friends hated me because they thought I was a dick, but I didn’t give a fuck.”
“Things got serious when I found out I was having you. I couldn’t keep smoking weed and half-assing shit anymore. This was real. I was alright with the fact that your mom was going to be the mother of you, because even through the bullshit, things just worked out between us. Over the years, we lost contact with our friends because they couldn’t relate to us anymore, we had a kid to worry about, and they were on the same bullshit”
“Your mom was worried, she was still in high school, I had been in college for only a year, we didn’t know what we would do. I knew I had to do something about it, I couldn’t keep fucking around and doing dumb shit with my friends. Your mom knew I was serious about her, and that didn’t take any ass kissing, remember that.”
“If a woman likes you for what you are, and all of your dumb shit, make sure you keep your shit straight, don’t get lazy, don’t be a bum, do something to improve, you’ll keep her around like that.”
My point is, my dad wasn’t always a “good guy” (the stereotypical type). He transformed from a douche of a kid who didn’t give a fuck about much, to a man with a wife and now family.
He doesn’t put anyone on pedestals, he doesn’t let shit slide if you’re coming with disrespect, and he isn’t afraid of taking what he wants. I can’t knock the guy because he’s living the life now.
My mother deeply loves this guy, we both know he’s a dick, but he’s kind, not nice.
My mom admits that she loves that he can take care of her, and she’s never afraid with him by her side. She doesn’t mention that he’s “the nicest guy she’s ever met” she mentions that she loves him for his nature, and his actions, that’s who he is.
So this bullshit of, “guys only want chads and douchebags” is essentially true, but you know what? That’s not a bad thing. Embrace that shit, I’ll take being called a chad if I’m coming home with cheeks every night. Let the good guys worry about being good, and you worry about your own shit and your own path. You shouldn’t care about what you come off as, and that’s because you’re on your shit, and you’re more concerned about the goal, not an image, and definitely not some coochie.
MandingoMaasai 4y ago
This is a really good post. Actually exemplifies why I believe boys raised by their fathers have a huge headstart in life over those raised by single mothers.
darkpiecez 4y ago
This is why I love TheRedPill. Nowhere else can you find the wisdom and experiences that everyone contributes here. Most posts here are like this and you can find a reliable mentor to teach you aspects of being a man that your dad never taught you. Thanks brother, your dad is a man. Sticks up for his family and doesn't give a fuck about being PC or conforming to any of these blue pill norms. Good stuff! Thanks
VasiliyZaitzev 4y ago
Guys interested in this topic may benefit from the below post:
Things My Father Taught Me: Advice for guys raised by single moms
-Fatherly Wisdom, Distilled.
SKRedPill 4y ago
These days though, you can't depend on a woman and a child alone to help you grow. Better learn from the lives of others and keep improving consciously right now.
KimJongUghhh 4y ago
You shouldn’t have to depend on a woman surprising you with an oops baby for growth in your life because you didn’t use condoms due to your irresponsibility period.
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SmamelessMe 4y ago
Good post. But the "transformation" could essentially be written up as:
Women don't want a mule. They want a wild stallion they can domesticate and put to the plow.
Punstatostriatus 4y ago
Guy got plowed, as most of men today. How many shit would not be bought if men were not transformed into plowers.
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ZodiacTurtle 4y ago
Read the fucking sidebar before commenting.
The world doesn’t care if you’re Christian, it’s not going to adapt to your illusory view of how the world should work. You only have Christian “values” because they were thrust upon you as a child by your parents, it’s from them that you got your discontent with the world (just don’t blame them, they didn’t know any better either).
Howdoiusesync 4y ago
you're way too outcome dependent.
You really think people fit into containers you put them in when through this sub you've seen countless times that is not the case. Life is not static the universe is not static.
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hunter0514 4y ago
Being a Christian does not make you a pushover. A Christian man is the leader and provider of his household. A healthy relationship is a relationship with challenges and where you challenge each other.
Imperator_Red 4y ago
Christian men are LARPing as the leader of the household. Leaders require authority to enforce their decisions, and all authority ultimately rests upon physical force. Even at work, if you tell your boss to fuck off, he will say you’re fired. If you refuse to leave the building, the police will come and physically remove you.
So see how much of a leader you are when she challenges your authority. What are you going to do if she disobeys you?
Option 1: nothing —> you are not a leader
Option 2: compel her with physical force —> now you’re a felon.
Why? Did your wife read this in Cosmo?
hunter0514 4y ago
Well another requirement of a Christian man is to marry a Christian woman so I feel like that would solve the problem. Christian woman are typically great and love being in a submissive position under the authority of their husband. Women who claim to be Christian but aren’t is where many problems lie.
Yakatonker 4y ago
This very wrong, the context of this thinking is wholly ignorant of the overall environment from which almost all women are now conditioned from. Slut culture is the norm not an anomalous happening in most women's lives.
You need the tools to deal with this, there's no community that you can hide in which would not expose you to this risk is you're a push over.
Imperator_Red 4y ago
How would that solve the problem? She is under no obligation to live as Christian. She faces no social pressure or shame from the society at large to regulate her behavior. You do understand that this is the aspect of Christianity that kept women in line in the past, right?
oofmydigestivesystem 4y ago
Go hunt for you’re unicorn then.
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