Forums.Red / TheRedPill / LTR

ozaku7

Posted 5y ago in LTR - Permalink - Locked - 578 Views

So just a quick shitpost about marriage and dead sexlifes, namely why sex ends as soon as she gets her precious ring. There are some other situations out there, namely illness (phyiscal or psychological) and whatnot. But when I truly observe how the men behave who are already in long-term marriages and then complain about their dead sexlifes, it's actually not so much of a wonder.

First of all, they start working out, they get this beerbelly in some cases, but in the majority, they just lack the good young physique they used to have. Utlimately, you can't think otherwise that sex suffers aswell as it is quite an intensive workout, especially if you married a starfish.

Second, some stop trying to act in an attractive manner towards their wives and start doing the most stupid shit. Just some time ago I stumbled upon a picture of a shifting knob that someone turned into a katana sword handle. Wife annoyed, kids love it, but if you act so childish, it's no wonder that his wife wonders if she has a husband or a third son. Childishness is fine, but there are limits.

Third, they simply lose their manliness as soon as the kids arrive, but also energy as they cost time, effort, and cannot relax anymore by doing their own thing. This seems prominent with guys who have long office hours or physically intensive jobs.

Just a quick reminder that LTR doesn't need to be the end of your sexlife. Many men simply give up on themselves, they stop putting in the effort to be attractive for her, and just become boys in grown men's bodies that they stop taking care off and end up being these childish walking dadbods that women only can look down upon.

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QuickDrawDinoHunter 5y ago

Once again, men have to do everything. Theres a shocker. We need to stop with all these rules and let men get back to the primal ways of living.

ozaku7 5y ago

You need to do what you're in power of. If you can't deal with a woman, don't. Simple. Most bluepills just want to have a mommy who cleans after them but also fucks them while they do jack shit.

QuickDrawDinoHunter 5y ago

Thats the dream. Why would I want to work for someone whos daddy gave them everything, and then still expect everything?

monsieurhire2 5y ago

The sex begins to dry up if the woman just married the guy as a meal-ticket and a vehicle to something better. It's kind of a like person who starts to work at a company they don't really like so they can position themselves to jump ship at the earliest opportunity. At first they present well and appear to try hard, but then once the period of scrutiny that precedes and immediately follows employment has past, they begin to try and cut corners, find hacks, and spend their free time looking for something better. They try to spend as little time working as possible because they don't really believe in the enterprise, or they think they are entitled to something more glamorous.

Now, most people are average and below average, obviously, so their prospects aren't very good. They will often find a company and stick with it thru life if they can. If the company collapses, or fires them, they are often shocked.

And so it goes with relationships. Many women marry a schlub with a job because it's better than working a shit job themselves. They now have a slave to do it for them. As for their house-work, it's all automated, courtesy of the men. Even if you are a relatively poor person, you can still get washer / dryers and dish-washers on the cheap. I was at a second hand shop in a low income area and I marveled at full-blown complex home appliances on sale for a few hundred dollars a piece. So anyway, you are a woman who married a schlub for the pay-check. You fucked him a bunch to enslave him to your snatch, but now that you have the ring, the next step is to solve the problem of how can you get more for less, or at least continue getting the same for less? Malingering? Gaining weight to discourage sexual intercourse and then pretending like you have a disability? Spending time in hobbies, pursuing friends, getting a part-time job, preferably in a field that has high-value men, where it's not about the money, but about having something to do, nudge nudge, wink wink. Getting an education also serves a similar purpose.

For guys that don't understand this, you are alpha or high beta and you lack imaginative faculties. You are literally like the hot girl who doesn't understand they people line up to do favors for her because of her fertility. They think the world is a great place where all you have to do is smile, look pretty and show up. You think all you have to is be confident, lift, and make money. You will never know the sorrow of the multitudes of men who will never measure up, and who will have to basically pretend that they aren't prostitutes to women who whore themselves out to corporations just for the illusion of being loved. These are the men that are subject to sex strikes, not the good-looking guys with money who lift.

OldMGTOW 5y ago

I was married for 23 years and it was I who lost my sex drive. I simply wasn't interested in getting it up for an obnoxious, mean, nasty, complaining bitch.

I lost my sex drive, but I remembered where I hid it after the divorce.

majani 5y ago

This is a dangerous line of thinking. It is often the case that the woman didn't even like the husband that much to begin with and was just using him for resources. In such cases, no self improvement will change the woman's mind. You started off as beta and she will forever see you as that. Any attempts at self improvement will be met by nonstop shit tests because she's convinced that you're faking the alpha posture.

tl;dr: A lot of times it's not about the man failing, the relationship was just doomed from the start.

ozaku7 5y ago

Not even resources, it's just better than nothing in her case because she didn't get the Prince charming she was dreaming of since her childhood.

If self improvement doesn't change her mind, you will be able to find better eventually and that's what it's about. If it doesn't fix something, atleast it will replace her with a new one.

People change and grow, every little shit was a beta somewhere in their lifetime. In the end it doesn't matter if she isn't attracted to you, because then you don't have anything to really lose on the first place.

FuckboyAWALT 5y ago

The only reason the ltr or wife loses her sex drive is because the man becomes a boring fuck.

If you constantly game here, push and pull, dread ... the Full Package, maintain frame and your boundaries and have an interesting live... the last thing she wants is to lose you.

Never be predictable, sex god method and you can keep her attracted.

‚She’s Not yours it’s just your turn‘ is a looser mentality.

farendsofcontrast 5y ago

This sounds like it was written by a blue pilled Indian.

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The_Red_Trooper 5y ago

Bullshit. I been in ltrs where the woman will lose interest even tho I will still work out and dress well. Ltr and marriage are some womens endgame. Dread game doesnt always work . Some women actually feel like they dont need to have sex anymore because once they get married. I heard of stories where guys got married and as soon as the honeymoon is over the woman will try to use sex as a way to gain power over the guy. Women will say " not tonight honey" as soon as they are married to control the husband.

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BobbyPeru 5y ago

TL;DR: you need to stay in shape and keep gaming your wife.

Side note: I’m married 10 years, and we had sex 6 of the last 7 days. This is not unusual since I swallowed the pill.

oooKenshiooo 5y ago

I can confirm.

I have been in an LTR for 10 years and the sex was always plenty and always spot on. Even the occasional FFM threesomes.

DrTedPill 5y ago

Tldr: men are to blame for their own sorry marriages because they stop working out

warlordchad 5y ago

This is bullshit—read the post by magnum and click on the link to black dragon about serial monogamy. Women lose interest in LTRs.

Blackhawk2479 5y ago

Yes they do, but what OP is describing is also true, it just accelerates the process and generally occurs under different circumstances.

The physical repulsion experienced by women in LTRs is much more common in childless relationships because the biological imperative for a woman is to reproduce: the longer you LTR a chick without kids, the more likely her loss of interest is going to occur.

This process is not the same for LTRs with kids, and in my opinion this is where OP’s observations come more into play.

lotrlotr14 5y ago

Is there a link to this post?

ozaku7 5y ago

Look around you, the quality of men these days is garbage. If I would be a woman I would remain single myself too. Prefer a short term fuckboy who is decent over some lowqual beta long term annoyance.

-1

CainPrice 5y ago

These two things can both be true in many cases, and are not mutually exclusive.

It is 1000% true that the longer a relationship goes on, the less sexually interested the woman remains. It doesn't matter how in shape the guy stays or how actively he keeps dating his woman and making her feel special. In fact, in some cases, trying too hard can be seen as being overly needy, clingy, and insecure and make her even less attracted to her man. It is not always the man's fault for not keeping his woman interested. She naturally loses interest the longer the relationship goes on. Nearly every single couple you look at will tell you that sexual frequency decreased over time, and it is nearly universally accepted that less passion and less sexual frequency the older a relationship gets is normal. -- News flash: in most cases, it's not the man who's deciding to have less sex.

But it is also true that in many cases, once a man has a girlfriend or a wife, he stops trying as hard. Sometimes life just gets busy. If the man had done a better job remaining hot, interesting, and exciting, he probably could have slowed the sexual decline, but nothing stops it entirely.

Frenetic_Zetetic 5y ago

The fucked up part is the entire reason monogamy is supposed to benefit society is that it lets males focus more on work instead of procuring steady pussy. Now we just get fucked via the law and get stuck in a one-sided deal that creates the incentive to just do the first option again instead (just keep the pussy fresh vs settling down with one pussy).

CainPrice 5y ago

In a funny way, the modern sexual revolution has divided society into the haves and have nots in many ways.

The men who are part of the casual sex culture (or at least capable of being part of it) have their sexual needs met, whether they choose to do so within a relationship our outside of one. Since their sexual needs are met fairly easily, they don't focus on sex or dating or girls that much and go on to do other things with their lives. Which is why the hot guys who fuck often also have interesting hobbies, decent careers, good social networks, lots of male friends, and so on. And why timid, weak guys who don't fuck often don't. You usually see guys who are all-the-way successful, or terribly unsuccessful. You don't quite as often see guys who are perfect in every single other way but suck with women.

Women have jobs nowadays, so they don't need men for money unless they choose to pursue that kind of man at a time in their life where they want that particular kind of relationship. However, the rest of the time, women's sexual needs are satisfied, in or out of a relationship. So a woman doesn't need to focus on men unless she really wants to and can focus on other things, confident that any time she gets horny or lonely, she can find a guy with just 15 minutes and a cell phone.

Then, you have this strange segment of guys who have completely given up on women and don't worry about dating or sex. A small number of them, unburdened by worrying about this stuff, go on to have good careers, interesting hobbies, developed social networks, and successful lives. The rest of them, unburdened by worrying about being attractive to anybody, have minimalist, dead-end lives, look like crap, and spend their lives drinking and playing video games while telling themselves they're happy.

It's the middle class of men who get messed with. Guys who aren't part of the casual sex culture but would like to be, who can't get dates or sex with any regularity, who try really hard, and end up living boring, average, middle of the road lives. Nobody likes them. But they care that nobody likes them. So they're unhappy.

ozaku7 5y ago

Well, men also just accept too much. Most men deal with starfish sex and they just happily accept it because it's better than nothing. It's no wonder why 50 shades is so popular. The minds of women are perverse, dirty, but most men just want to stick it in, blow their load and move on with their day.

Your mind would be blown to know how much your girlfriend wants you to stir things up, but also to show her a MAN during the entire day and make her want you the entire afternoon. One period of time you will be having missionary sex where she's like "Alright..." to going to the bathroom stalls in a waterpark, pick her up and fuck her brains out while she's trying to hold in her moans while people are walking all around.

We also simply give too much up to get laid, while women would happily refuse to maintain their own rules. It should become a pull and push game, not where you decline sex everytime she does to even the score, but to simply have your own boundaries where you feel like it and when not, so she sees she also needs to work for it.

Lastly, ever recorded yourself? By voice or video? I record my calls, and I was having a call with another lady. So I thought I sounded enthousiastic when I was having the actual phone call, but when I listened back I just sounded awful. Rather in a way that I hear myself in a different tone and I didn't seem to convey my enthousiasm AT ALL, and imagined myself to be kind of "Whatever" and "Disinterested". Seeing and hearing yourself talk, act and express through audio and video REALLY helps yourself to see how others might perceive you, and it's not from your own eyes, but it's literally through the eyes and ears of the other (in this case, a camera lens and microphone). A whole new level of "You" will open up. That's why speakers record themselves, or look at themselves presenting and talking in the mirror. You need to see yourself outside of yourself to really see what everyone sees and hears, and it has big influence.

asfarley 5y ago

I think you have mostly missed the point of the red pill. This is a very bad post.

lotrlotr14 5y ago

Why is this a bad post? He seems to have hit on a central theme of TRP, which is constant improvement. Or am I missing something?

asfarley 5y ago

I don't agree that constant improvement is a theme of TRP at all. Which of the side-bar content promotes constant improvement as a guiding strategy?

This smells of the original blue-pill evil: men telling themselves that they just need to work a bit harder at loving/pleasing their wife, and everything will be better.

Between the lines, this post is just another suggestion that women are 'basically the same as men', they just want a reasonably attractive guy, and somehow it's all the man's fault in the end.

This post seems to ignore what's actually going on: 1) She's not yours, it's just your turn 2) Relationships are transactional 3) AF/BB. Women want to marry providers, they can get their genetics elsewhere.

What about those central themes of TRP?

Flysis22 5y ago

As i understand trp, constant improvement is a main thing. But this guy got it all wrong. Your improving is not for woman, but for yourself. If a woman is a main enjoyment in your life, you just failed to understand the concept of trp.

The_Red_Choice 5y ago

I personally find it extremely difficult to try so hard for a woman in a LTR simply because it gets boring. All of my past relationships are fine and I end up breaking it off on the sole fact that I want a new challenge. The comfort and stability bores me and I don’t like it when things are predictable. I don’t think it’s that guys give up on themselves, it’s just that people crave variety. The guys who get complacent and stay may be giving up, but for the most part it’s just men getting bored.

campfire451 5y ago

There is a lot of truth in what you've written. In fact there are many large studies that show that women in LTR want sex far, far more than their partners believe. So married guys are clearly leaving sex on the table.

But it's also not just one-sided like this. The same things you describe apply to the woman. Stress, kids, body changes, comfort, etc. There is a considerable literature about women losing desire in LTR and it's far more complicated than just the guy letting himself go.

rpsheepdog 5y ago

I'd agree, but it the man is keeping in good shape and DHV it should dread the female half enough to keep up her end, still starts with the guy though

MoDuReddit 5y ago

Food for thought, isn't it the women who let themselves go immediately after the first child? The high value ones work-out their asses until they have a thin tummy after kids, but most just use the excuse to balloon.

ozaku7 5y ago

Because there is no threat you will leave them, so not only they, but also you as a man allow them to balloon up and not be attractive for you at all.

Also, be attractive and she will hate it, because it means you have options and she wants you to pick her over anyone else. Just last week I talked with my GF and she literally said she doesn't want to share me after telling her how my workouts are showing lately. So I told her to keep up with me by working out together, and it works for both of us.

Also helps with sex, we can last every time longer and longer with our fitness, so we can go for multiple rounds instead of being dead after the act. It got more pornlike too. No wonder pornstars have such bodies. It's not for our eyes, it's a fucking requirement to do the things they do on camera, jesus christ.

SeasonedRP 5y ago

Have you been married? I suspect not. I see this mistaken belief on here sometimes and it overlooks women's sexual strategy once they lock down an alpha male. You can't alpha your way to a good marriage. Once women snare an alpha male and lock him down through marriage, they become less concerned with keeping him around (through good behavior toward him) and more concerned with other women procuring his resources. She may well attack those alpha qualities that attracted her because they also attract other women. For example, instead of being pleased with his high-powered career and excellent physique, she will complain that his work and gym time result in him neglecting his family. This is why the sidebar advises not getting married or cohabiting with a woman. You can't make it work through alpha behavior because of the nature of women's sexual strategy once cohabitation occurs. Women lose sexual interest as the duration of a relationship increases, and it isn't because the man becomes less alpha. This can be part of it, but that loss of interest will happen no matter how alpha he is.

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ozaku7 5y ago

That's pretty much black and white. If you work 10 hours per day and work out 1-2 hours on the side here and there, I can imagine she's pissed because you two aren't doing anything besides that. Women want to have fun, they want to live. Can't blame her if you never show up at home besides for sleeping, personal hygiene and eating, or just laying on the couch because "the day was rough".

But if you have a well-balanced work-private life, where you work the classic 8 hours, find 1 hour in the gym maybe 2 times a week, then just ignore her nagging and do your thing.

Avoiding cohabitation is just fleeing from your problems instead of actually heading them face on. If she doesn't like your schedule, she will leave by herself.

-5

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ozaku7 5y ago

Where do I say she rules your life? Boohoo.

ozaku7 5y ago

Where do I say she rules your life? Boohoo.

-1

SeasonedRP 5y ago

You didn't answer the question.

ozaku7 5y ago

No I haven't been married. Like, marriage is some magical sprinkles that change completely everything vs. a non-marriage? It's just that the marriage is a bigger pain in the ass to get out of with lots of bureaucracy.

-1

BigAjax 5y ago

It's just that the marriage is a bigger pain in the ass to get out of with lots of bureaucracy.

Yeah, like being dead is a lot harder to wake up from than a nap

ENTP 5y ago

Men lose game. I’m married but utilize all TRP principles and our sex life is fantastic. Also I’m fat. Looks is minimal compared to inner game.

olimpicus 5y ago

tbh i think most men just get bored of fucking the same woman over and over again

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MoDuReddit 5y ago

4th, unless you're red pilled, you'll eventually succumb to more and more shit tests, which will lead her to despise you, which leads to no sex, which leads to you feeling bad about yourself, which makes her despise you even more.

I'm not saying you're wrong. But what you're saying is exactly what everyone else is saying: "relationship problems? It's the man's fault!". The only fault a man can have in those situations is to not leaving soon enough.

SeasonedRP 5y ago

It's essentially the same thing that tradcons argue. When men follow their teachings, get married, don't have all the great sex the tradcons promised they would, and start asking questions, tradcons say it is the man's fault for not keeping the woman interested and attracted. This argument simply doesn't reflect reality. Once a woman locks down a man, her attraction decreases, and it gets worse over time no matter what the man does.

MoDuReddit 5y ago

Yup. What's, next? Couples therapy (More communication = let the woman talk and win by your tiredness)? A "pause" (she fucks a few chads while he stays at home)?

ozaku7 5y ago

Really, if you need a third party to talk to each other, you need to just call it quits.

ozaku7 5y ago

The traditional conservatives weren't the pussies like you back then. They had some guts and were not afraid to be manly. Your generation on the other hand is pussified and shamed by women, which is laughable.

Her attraction only decreases because she assumes that he will be there forever, so the only way to keep it interesting is to instill non-verbally that you remain because things are great, but you will leave if things do get worse for much longer than would be considered normal.

SeasonedRP 5y ago

My generation? You clearly don't know what generation I come from. And I've previously explained why dread doesn't work long term in a cohabitation situation. She'll eventually figure out you aren't leaving.

And my favorite-"afraid to be manly." Right. People who throw around insults like this online never would in real life.

ozaku7 5y ago

Clearly you haven't seen enough of the world to make that last statement, how old you may be. As for that she will eventually figure out that you won't be leaving, I have this fun story of a female friend. Long story to TL;DR, her boyfriend threatened to leave, he didn't, then she grabbed a knife and asked him to finally fucking do it. He still didn't.

The best way to maintain the reality of leaving is to just cheat, it's easy as that.

ozaku7 5y ago

No it means that you are simply getting comfortable and completely stop trying while you assume her loyalty until the end of times just because of a ceremony and a diamond ring. At the same time, she realizes she is with a guy that stopped giving a damn, and expects all the sex while showing none of the manliness and effort he made she fell for (effort as is keeping up your physique, etc).

You don't need to be redpilled to succumb to shittests. You only need a solid backbone that shows you're a man that isn't afraid of fights and you will stand your ground. That's what women mean with wanting "a man that can push back, who isn't a pushover". That's usually the reason why women who hate their man after a fight get turned on, because "oh my god, I hate him for disagreeing but that was so manly I just want to fuck him".

TRP is based on a userbase that believed from the start of life that if you marry a woman, she will be as loyal and caring to you as your mother while you might allow yourself to remain the biggest loser the earth has ever seen.

reversec 5y ago

tell him to get a dog instead if he assumes loyalty

ozaku7 5y ago

Let's be real, a dog is only loyal to us because they see their master as their only provider. Once a choice comes up, definitely some dogs would trade their masters in for better.

The dog of my mom's ex started to listen to me more than to him because I was more around and was playing more with the dog aswell. Only then I had to cut it off to "maintain the hierarchy".

Noone is loyal, everyone acts out of own interest, and people will leave you if you have nothing to offer.

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huggyblossom 5y ago

Just look at the easiest example Chris Pratt - he was a beer belly man at 34 and he was OK with his life. But 12 months after when he is the perfect version of him just look for any interview with his wife up to now and see the glare in her eyes each time someone asks about Chris transformation and their love wife.

It's man responsibility to stay in shape as the ancient roman satiric Uvenal said Mens sana in corpore sano or healthy soul in a healthy body. And in an LTR or marriage it's even more important to be so.

It may be the fact that I am from Eastern Europe and most LTR and marriages are still common, because women are better quality overall still. At least here most woman in a LTR that is feeling desired won't decline sex, since she wants it as much as you do.

As I like to preach and sometimes get argued by college girls near 30 or little above without man (cat adopts moslty... fucking accurate stereotype) - a LTR with dried sex that is not often enough is a gone cause. You can live without sex without problem, but why do you live with a women when there is no sex - after all this is one of the main reasons you mated with her in the first place isn't it.

ozaku7 5y ago

Can you send me one of those interviews? It got me curious, but I don't know where to look.

huggyblossom 5y ago

https://thenewdaily.com.au/entertainment/celebrity/2015/06/09/chris-pratts-tip-improve-sex-life/ - from Pratt himself.

Also as I forgot to mention that they divorced last year, because Faris decided marriage is not for her... and now is 42 yo playing girl... fuck me AWALT in celebrity life...