I won't link to the original post that way this won't get removed. You can look through the relationship advice subreddit and find it pretty quick anyways. Anyways, I wanted to cover this post because I've also made the mistake in thinking that an LTR virgin princess would simply stay faithful to me. No matter the circumstances, always remember AWALT and have a backup plan. Virgin princess, mother of your kids, 10 year relationship, it does not matter.

We've been together for 4 years. At the beginning, like all teenagers do, we also fooled around, she was genuinely turned on and wanted to do stuff but we never got to penetration. We were both virgin and to her, virginity was always the best thing she can give me, it's "the only thing she can give only to me in the whole life" and to be honest, that's why I[21m] didn't push for it at all and wanted the take her pace.

Virginity should not matter. Most times, the first time won't feel any different than the 100th time. While a virgin girl is going to pair bond better than a slut, don't let this blind you from being an assertive man. If you aren't, someone else will be. Virginity is just another tool some women use to put them higher on the pedestal they're already on.

Around 2-2.5 years ago, things started to cool down. She no longer wanted to do it(referring to touching and oral) as often and a year ago she started pushing away even though I would ask twice a month when I was sexually frustrated. I really loved her, and I still do, and I think she is smart, intelligent and beautiful and that's why that wasn't a deal breaker for me.

Judge her actions, not her words. If you have to ask to get physical, begin planning your exit strategy. Attraction is organic and cannot be negotiated.

Two weeks after our 4 years mark, she said she felt trapped and that she wanted to take a little break from our relationship. I was crushed because I didn't see this coming at all.

It is at this point that OP went full beta. She was done with him 2 years before she broke it to him, he just chose to rationalize her actions and behavior.

Her "trapped" definition was that she felt bad going to concerts and doing stuff without inviting me, and to be honest, I always encouraged her to go with her girlfriends and have fun, I have a feeling she trapped herself?

Sorry to break it to you, but it wasn't her girlfriends she was having fun with, my guy :(

I think she just wanted to take a break and couldn't come up with a better reason or the real reason was offending to me or she just lost attraction although she denied it. We talked it through and we decided that we will take a break and she will call me once the break is over. She was supposed to move in with me in may.

Take a break = monkey branch onto Chad. The most self degrading move you can do is agree to something like this.

It took a toll on me, I performed bad at my work and I was distant from my family, I was crushed and I hoped she would come back and that we would cry together, agree it was a mistake and move on.

Understandably so. It's ok to cry. It's ok to be crushed. However, it's not ok to be passive about it. Hit the weights, talk to a good male role model, read books, and occupy your mind. Don't distance yourself from those who can help you most.

Well, after around 3 weeks, she messaged me and said she wanted to talk. I was so excited and I invited her to my house. When she arrived, shortly after, she basically broke down crying, saying she met a guy[23m] 2 weeks ago and that after 3 days they slept together. She said she tried to connect with him but it wasn't nearly as fun as with me and that she wasn't sure why she wanted to take a break from me in the first place.

Chad did what OP couldn't do in 4 years, in 3 days. After the pump and dump, she came crawling back to OP. The monkey reached for the higher branch, just barely pinching it with her finger tips, but couldn't grab on securely.

Now, I consider myself 7-8/10, I am tall and work out semi-regularly. She assured me that it wasn't my looks. She said she wanted us to be together again and that she would do anything to earn back my trust and make me happy. The guy she slept with was 10/10 and a lot of muscle, although I didn't know him or anything about him.

This is the one instance where I'd believe what she said. YES, Chad was better looking, but that is often not enough of a reason alone for the monkey to swing branches. Most monkeys will reach for a higher branch only if they still have a good grasp on their previous branch. That way, if they miss, they don't completely fall off the tree.

This happened yesterday. I am broken. I couldn't come up with words and just said it's gonna be okay and later politely asked her to leave so I have time and space to think. I can't help it but feel like a backup plan, she sacrificed our 4 years together and basically made me a fool for waiting for sex and thinking that I am something special for her. It bothers me so much that she was ready to fuck some guy, less than a week after we broke up. Even if we get back together, am I supposed to have sex with her now or what...

AWALT, AWALT, AWALT. No contact and move on. OP has finally began to see reality. He messed up since the moment that he failed to have a backup plan in place. Other noteable fuck ups:

  1. Never agree to a "break" under these type of circumstances. This was the point she lost all attraction for OP.
  2. Never ask for physicality. Attraction is not negotiable.
  3. 80-90% of her communication is done by her actions. Don't listen to her words.
  4. No contact as soon as the relationship is unsalvageable.
  5. Kill all hopes/emotions you have of getting back. Hope makes you do irrational things.
  6. Beat the depression through self improvement and reach out to male role models.

OP posted the following update:

So, long story short, 3 days ago I "broke up" with her for good.

Now, you guys might not agree with the way I did it, but I did not want to have revenge sex with her, hurt her or hurt her ego. Even though I am sad and disappointed, at the same time I understand she wanted to see other options and I respect she didn't outright cheat on me. That being said, I am also not a backup plan and I deserve to be someones first plan, someone that will make love with me and not consider it a "godly gift to me"...

I didn't see her anymore and I finished it with a message, here's a translated version:

"Hey [name], first of all, I don't want to hold you in suspense, so yes, this is my final break-up message. I took some days to think about it and I realized that if we did continue where we left off that the other guy would be in my head non-stop and I would always be paranoid of you doing it again when you get bored of me. I understand we were (and still are) young when we started our relationship and that you wanted to explore other options and gain experience. Sadly, in that process you lost my trust and hurt me greatly. I respect you wanted to "take a break" instead of cheating on me but that still doesn't make it justifiable. I wanted to thank you for all those years and I wanted to apologize for any wrongs I did to you. I want you to know that I am not mad or sad and that my head is the right place. I hope that going forward you will be okay too and please don't punish yourself for what you did. Goodbye, op"

The message was supposed to be stronger and stuff, but I realized I am already getting over it and that I no longer see the point of putting more effort and thought into it. She replied with an equally long message saying she is sorry bla bla bla. So, thank you guys for opening my eyes, if it weren't for you, I am almost certain that I would accept her back. So yeah, until next time. Just like she didn't give him sex, he doesn't need to give her closure or owe her an explanation.

Never get too complacent and stay safe out there bois