I thought I would do a post mortem of my a relationship I ended last week, the insights may be be valuable. This came from my journal as I reflected upon the relationship and what I did incorrectly. Hopefully you learn from my lessons also.

I had known this woman and her family through family networks and mutual friends, her family is known in the community, I knew she was not a unicorn, but she had high value and given I want a family I asked her out for a drink.

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F25

N count is 2, no social media, national champion in athletics, no tattoos or piercings except for ears, studious, lives with wholesome family and has a good relationship with father. One LTR under her belt. Good genetics for children but shy/homely.

M29

Startup founder, Forbes 30 Under 30, fit and lift regularly, has a $10M+ business (I've written about this previously). I feel I'm at my current peak and growing personally, several plates and a healthy social life. Good genetics and often complimented for fashion and features.

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She accepted the date excitedly, she informed me she didn't drink but would love to join me. We had great chemistry and following this, she purchased tickets for a second date, but I had declined as I concluded the timing was not good for an LTR. I was traveling for business and she was going to an international athletics competition + a one-month remote hike with her retired father to celebrate her graduation. She wanted to enter my industry and followed up with some questions.

I was slow to respond as I'm busy. I did not initiate contact. I had several plates, a busy schedule with work and working out; and additionally an active social and business calendar.

Lesson 1

If you are high value, women will adapt to be whomever you want, from chaste Catholic to goth, to loves to watch NFL with your friends.

We kept in touch, and saw each other casually, she wanted more, we had a coffee together, gave me a book with a small note, prepared a picnic with home cooked food, and when I still refused she resorted to sex.

Lesson 2

If you get sex easily, another alpha can too.

Before I departed, however, she asked again to date exclusively; I knew it was too early, and yet I agreed foolishly. She knew I was sleeping with two plates and knew that this would eliminate my options; I figured I could still instill dread given my SMV and business trips I had regularly. I had incorrectly decided given the green flags and no visible red flags, she was through the small gestures of girlfriend material.

Lesson 3

You are the man, she has to earn LTR status. Vet for more than 3 months, preferably 6.

During this trip, we kept in touch via video calls, and I got to know her further, her values and about her history. She asked probing questions on how I was, what was important to me, about the book I was writing, etc.

Upon returning we had our 2nd official date and built a strong relationship over the next + 1 year, she was by all accounts a very good girlfriend, inexperienced but otherwise excellent, she fit well into my happy life and provided value to it; at business and social functions, she was a nice addition. We had good chemistry and had incredible sex despite her apparent inexperience.

Fast forward a year or so.

Last week she rescheduled a fitness activity she was joining me, we need to talk she stated.

When I see her, she immediately starts crying, she confesses she cheated on me once in the first few weeks after the early exclusivity whilst she was overseas for the athletics competition. She noted she went to a party, got drunk (she always had a shit tolerance but alcohol doesn't excuse being a terrible human being).

Lesson 4

You can be the best of your game, but if you're not physically there, she will get tingles for other alphas. Set clear boundaries that have consequences if you know they have been crossed. She can be bored, lonely, lack self-esteem, whatever, she can and will cheat.

Lesson 5

I selected a woman with lower value, the two other women I had LTR'd previously been around 8-9; and were able to repel advances of other men as usual. A shy, more homely girl with less confidence failed this test miserably.

She had confessed to her parents and they stated it was unfair to me knowing I would not tolerate infidelity. In her letter she left behind after the conversation, she stated I deserve to know the truth and that she was so very sorry, she was appalled she did that to me, now that things were becoming more serious it was important I be informed. She said that everything since we returned, when we actually went on the legit second date onwards was real.

Lesson 6

Look at a woman's actions, not her words. She wanted exclusivity, yet she had a drunken one night stand. She said she did not drink, party or sleep around, yet she did all three to end our relationship and get fucked.

I ended the relationship on the spot and went no contact, I said some harsh truths which given the context were understandable (you disgust me and her parents would be ashamed), and then walked away.

I have since spoken to mentors I have for business, continued lifting and started salsa to fill in the extra time in my schedule. I re-opened some old plates who had hit me up during the LTR but feel I need more time to focus on myself for now.

Lesson 7

Learn from your mistakes, but it is best to learn from the mistakes of others. Read the sidebar regularly and live them. Have mentors to advise you throughout life for business, and other areas, and to give cousel when shit happens.

Lesson 8

Move on, focus on yourself. Maintain attraction, be your own man on your own purpose, be a dominant leader, great in bed, an intellect with a variety of interests, physically fit, well spoken, and a lot of fun to be around.

Lesson 9

Unicorns do not exist, if it's too good to be true, it usually is.

I want to have a family one day but know that I was lucky, I didn't invest too much and had some good times; I appreciate her disclosing but would have preferred honesty earlier. Such is life.

Lesson 10

No woman is unique, they are all replaceable. Mitigate damage that can be done when you are forced to pull the trigger at any time.

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TL;DR

You can do a lot of things right but still fuck up. Read the lessons.