It's a tough spot at the bottom of the barrel. When you've tried everything and you don't see any way out you start to look for ways to forget about where you are. If you can't get a solution you'll look for relief. That relief often is validation.

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Many guys come to TRP with the idea of changing their status at their school, job, with their wife, etc... What the Blue Pill has taught you to believe is that status = validation. This is true if you've dyed your arm pit hair blue and cry in the library because someone said, "Hi" to you on your way to class. Having your friends re-assure you that it was definitely sexual assault and you didn't do anything wrong by sucking mysterious cock(s) through the portal into the Dick Dimension at the gas station. Getting validation from your friends doesn't change the fact that you like to suck strange cock recreationally. Getting validation rewrites your perception of the events that have already happened - allowing you to deny reality and continue to live in your degenerate ways.

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Guys can get caught up in validation traps in ways you might not expect at first: yes even fucking women can be a validation trap. When most guys catch oneitis it is because they have based their self worth on the girl they stuck their penis in. Similar to basing your self worth to the watch you put your hand in, or basing your self worth on the car you put yourself in. This is commodity fetishism, a consumerist based mindset. Put simply is this: You derive value from the things you consume (Cars, clothes, expensive restaurants, exotic pets, you get the idea).

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The hamster-ing looks something like this:

p1. X is valuable (Fiat validation)

p2. People who have X are valuable (Bandwagon fallacy)

Conclusion 1: If someone can obtain X they are valuable

p3. I have obtained x

Conclusion 2: I am valuable because I have obtained X

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So maybe this logic stuff doesn't get your dick hard but that's what it looks like spelt out. Here you see the necessity for people to hang onto X (Women, Compliments, A Job, Position, Title, etc...) as it is what provides them validation in their mind. The flaw with this logic is that you don't change whether or not you have X in your life. Buying an expensive watch/car/women doesn't actually change a person, it merely changes the perception we have of them and the perception they have of themselves.

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This is why so many dudes break when they lose their X. When you lose the thing that made you valuable you no longer have any value. The change in perception is superficial. There is no value, only validation. This is why dudes go so far to prove themselves to a girl - because they see no value in themselves so they can only search for validation. As you have seen many times before - this is the path of self destruction.

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The solution here is to switch from a consumerist mindset (I am what I consume) to a production based mindset (I am what I produce). The latter is the attitude of a man who holds true value, not living off a fiat based validation currency. When you produce gains at the gym you don't need other people to compliment you; you know the objective reality of the situation. When you get your own place with your own job for the first time you know that you have produced an independent lifestyle for yourself - you don't need anyone to confirm this for you. When you produce something for yourself or others you have generated real value: not just the perception or deception of value. Sure it's great to get a pat on the back for a job well done every now and again. In addition we don't exist in a vacuum and other peoples perceptions of us do affect us for better/worse. The difference between these two attitudes is proving something to yourself (Which cannot be taken away even if someone else consumes or destroys what you have produced (as you have the ability to produce more VALUE), vs asking others to play along with a lie to protect your fragile, toxic masculinity.