When you’re talking to a cute girl, you shouldn’t just think she’s attractive, you should feel attracted to her on a physiological level.
Desire is contagious, if you feel it, the girl will feel it. And that underlying sexual feeling is the spark that makes seduction possible.
Without that feeling there is no reason for a girl to go on a date with you or to go home with you. She might have logically enjoyed your company, but unless she actually felt desire for you, it’s unlikely she will sleep with you.
This sounds obvious, yet few men effectively communicate their sexual desire to women. Ask yourself this: when you’re interacting with a woman you like, how often do you feel turned on?
Most men rarely experience raw lust for a woman, they only think they want her on a cognitive level. But there is no emotion behind it.
The difference between a guy who gets repeatedly friend-zoned and a guy who can effortlessly turn girls on is his own ability to experience desire for women in real life.
If you don’t feel sexual desire for the women you see in your real life, you’re missing the point of seduction.
(Obviously, feeling desire isn't the only factor important in creating sexual desire - your physical appearance, social status, outer game, etc. all play a role, but this is an important factor that men rarely consider.)
So, how do you actually do this?
You might be thinking that you should tell girls you find them attractive or that you should talk about sexual topics.
Neither of those things are necessary, and if anything, they can backfire (being so overt can make women feel uncomfortable unless you do it very tactfully).
There’s a better way. A way to project sexual energy without being creepy.
Instead of talking about sex on a verbal level, learn to cultivate your ability to experience sexual desire for women you find attractive.
In modern society, we learn to associate our sex drive with two things: porn and masturbation. We channel our sexual desire into pixels instead of into our real lives.
Through years of conditioning, we forget how to see real women as sexual beings. We know on a logical level that we want to have sex with beautiful women, but we don’t feel it on an emotional level when we see a hot girl walk by.
The following are three strategies you can use to undo the social conditioning that has taught you to be uncomfortable with your own sexual nature.
Reality is dull compared to the fantasies porn allows you to vicariously live out.
Watching porn is a bad habit that does more harm than good.
Porn is extremely stimulating – it floods us explicit images and sounds.
When we become used to a high level of stimulus, we are no longer impacted by the regular beauty of the women we interact with in the real world.
A woman in a tight skirt isn’t exciting when you’re used to seeing fifteen different girls get naked in a compilation within 30 seconds.
But if you cut out porn, you’ll start to appreciate the natural sexuality of women in your day-to-day life. You no longer have access to this unrealistic fantasy world, so reality will become more viscerally appealing.
Change Your Focus
When you’re out approaching women, focus on the sexual side of the environment rather than the logical side of the environment.
What I mean is that when you see a girl walk by, there’s a difference between thinking, “She’s hot, I should talk to her,” and actually checking her out and appreciating how sexy she is.
Male sexuality gets shamed in modern culture. Partly ,this is necessary for society to function – if men were to fully embrace their sexual urges, nothing would get done.
However, it has gotten to a point that most of us are completely cut off from our sexual nature. We learn that checking out women is creepy and that wanting sex is perverted. We learn to associate getting a boner with shame rather than excitement.
All this coalesces into a state of mind where we are psychologically conditioned to avoid feeling anything sexual in the real world.
You can train yourself to break this conditioning: with your conscious intention, you can regain control of your own sexual desire.
This isn’t about being a perv or being creepy – don’t stare at women’s breasts. But when you see a cute girl walk by, let yourself appreciate her femininity, her beauty, her attractiveness.
It’s in your DNA to do this, you just have to put conscious effort into reclaiming this ability you were born with.
If you find this difficult, you can take it a step further: actually visualize sexual imagery when you’re out approaching women. Imagine yourself ripping a girl’s clothes off, imagine her naked, imagine what it would be like to throw her on a bed and fuck her brains out.
This will take some practice, but the results are so life-altering that the effort is worth it.
Once you make the shift from attempting to logically attract women, to emotionally seducing them, your life will never be the same.
Your interactions with women will be far more powerful, impactful, and enjoyable – not only for you, but for the girls you interact with too.
Don’t take this to mean that your game needs to be more direct. My verbal communication with women is actually extremely indirect. In terms of what I say, I show almost no sexual interest, if anything, I show disinterest.
But on an emotional level, there is a clear sexual ‘vibe’, it’s in the eye contact, my vocal tonality, and my overall demeanor.
If on a verbal level, you seem somewhat uninterested in a girl (https://redpilltheory.com/2018/08/15/how-to-tease-a-girl-and-spark-sexual-attraction/), but there is a clear sexual heat in your nonverbal communication, that will create sexual tension.
She can feel that you want her, but because your words imply the opposite, she’ll wonder what’s going to happen, “I’m attracted to this guy, but I can’t tell whether he really likes me or if he sees me as a friend.” Do it well, and the sexual tension will build up to a point that sex becomes a foregone conclusion.
Seduction is a process that starts with an emotion and eventually gets explained with logic. Unfortunately, most men are taught that dating is about making a girl logically think you’re a good option for her so that she will become attracted to you.
In dating, your primary focus should be on the emotions you’re making women experience, and the easiest place to start is with yourself: any feeling you experience will spread to others around you, sexual attraction is no exception.