Many guys come to me with the question, "How do I get the respect back into my relationship", and the short answer is: You don't. You never had respect within your current relationship and you never will.
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Respect is a complicated thing let's define it as: a feeling of deep admiration for someone or something elicited by their abilities, qualities, or achievements.
And let's emphasize the difference between Submission: the action or fact of accepting or yielding to a superior force or to the will or authority of another person.
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While you can force submission, respect is something that is earned and given. Most of the times when guys read TRP they realize they've been a gigantic pussy for the past x number of years in their life and want to get the respect they deserve right now! While common, this reaction is an immature because it is akin to a child throwing a tantrum for some candy or whatever. Others take a different direction and try to use their dad voice on their (potential) meat puppet, "yOu WiLl ReSpeCt My AuThOrItY!!!!" This cry in the wind is also often dismissed as a childish tantrum because there is no weight behind the words (I.E. You're not going to do shit about it). It is akin to a small child saying, "I'm mad at you". So fucking what if you're mad? You're a pussy. You let everyone else walk on you so why would it be any different with your women. You can get angry about it and say, "No more Mr. NiceGuy^(TM)" But at the end of the day you're just stomping your feet on the ground and crying your eyes out.
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Real acts of submission without respect end you in prison for "telling her twice", and if your women submits to you without respecting you she will always do so reluctantly and will fuck real chads behind your back while nodding quietly and smiling while riding you to the bank.
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If women have no respect for you it is most likely because your frame has long-been collapsed along with any respect you had for yourself. Lifting heavy weights and reading hard books are simply tools for you to build your frame along with admiration for yourself.
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If you don't have any sort of admiration for yourself, why would anyone else?
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Of course the long term solution is to let your balls hang and develop some self respect, and the short term fix is to stop presenting the worst of yourself in every situation. Many guys who scare women away do so by bringing out the worst in every situation.
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I'm not sure if you'll like this but I got you this and I hope you like it
vs
This is for you
One has no respect for himself, the other one knows his value. It's not her perception of you that matters, it's your perception of self and how you make the sale with her.
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When you come to appreciate your own abilities, qualities, and achievements you will hold respect in yourself. People are going to judge you on how you carry yourself. It's just a cognitive shortcut. If you aren't living a life that you admire, no one else will. No PUA tricks are going to hide this one fellas.
prostitutemonger 5y ago
Women are incapable of respecting men.
They don't understand what respect IS. It's just a word that gets thrown around these days. It has lost any and all meaning and value.
sezamus 5y ago
Special Forces Sarge, has way more true respect, than a typical colonel or even a general. I saw it first hand. SF guys who were my instructors were like gods among people. I respected them for their skills, discipline and... sense of humor. Any colonel, on the other side, acts like he is a god, when actually everybody wants him just to shut the fuck up and be gone.
The_BitterTruth 5y ago
Only those who have held absolute power or been at the whim of it understand that it does not equal respect.
VasiliyZaitzev 5y ago
Listen up, Lads:
She has the power to withhold sex, you have the power to withdraw attention.
If you are not getting what you want, physically, emotionally, or whatever, out of a relationship, (whether exclusive or otherwise) then it's time for you to look out for Numero Uno.
Too many guys fear having to go "work" for sex, start over with another girl, compete with other men, etc. This is why guys will stay in bad relationships, which is nowhere for anyone, male or female, to be.
This is also why I recommend maintaining sexual relationships with multiple women, so no one woman can walk out the door with 100% of your pussy supply.
crqze7 5y ago
Very true, starting over after a fuck up is so underated. This planet is huge
warlordchad 5y ago
Literally the only power you have, but the power is incredible. I’ve had a girl texting me for several months now, because the fact I don’t want to date her broke her brain. She can’t comprehend a guy who has options and doesn’t need to put up with bullshit to get laid. Channel Rollo: the person who can walk away has infinitely more power than the person who can’t.
[deleted] 5y ago
"Every relationship is fundamentally a power struggle, and the individual in power is whoever likes the other person less."
VasiliyZaitzev 5y ago
Well, there's also Dread, but yet, withdraw attention and the hamster wheel will start to spin, rapidly.
[deleted] 5y ago
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c4ge1nvisibl3 5y ago
I understand what you say, I just want to let you know the spanish you're using doesn't seem to make sense, you would be looking for Número dos o la siguiente (number two or the next one) número uno or number one, would be the same one you already are with. It's difficult but sometimes you got to start from zero (empezar de cero).
The_BitterTruth 5y ago
How do you say, "You've got to look out for yourself" Yourself being no.1
VasiliyZaitzev 5y ago
Numero uno would be oneself. I just dropped some Spanish into an English expression about "Looking out for number one".
WarriorMonkMode 5y ago
Ironic how many men refuse to work for themselves: be it in the gym, in their careers, or in their studies.
But the minute they can work for sex, they're like a hamster on the wheel.
The only investment you can never lose is the investment you put into yourself.
Don't demand shit from anyone else but yourself. You're the only person you'll wake up and see in the mirror everyday. If you have to say anything to a woman about how "things better change here" then is it even a relationship worth being in?
The answer is no unless you're a masochist with a cuckold fetish.
spndxwra 5y ago
amen!
[deleted] 5y ago
This is very similar to something I realized from my last disaster of a relationship:
“Don’t punish her, just ignore her.”
Punishing her may work in the short term, but in the long term it’ll come back to bite you in the ass. Really hard.
Also, think of it like your boss at work. If your boss criticizes everything you do, you come to hate them and resent doing work. If they’re nice and encourage you and offer friendly constructive criticism while still keeping their boundaries about how much work you have to finish, it’ll be a healthy relationship and you’ll have much more morale as an employee.
spndxwra 5y ago
this!
I just learnt the hard way that "punishment" does not work.. it just drives a wedge between you and her.. she resent u, uses it against u and u never recover.. ever. it just gets bottled up and then your the child for behaving like that...
just ignore temporarily and if the behaviour continues.. walk away...
PM_ME_MILFSTUFF 5y ago
While what you say is logical, I don't agree with the assumptions. The man shouldn't have to hold her hand, like a gentle boss, in order for her to step up and be an adult. She has the same access to information in order to better herself.
cumfortably_dumb 5y ago
This is incredible and sums up every things I did wrong in previous relationship.
Robster25 5y ago
Even though I agree with the most of it, this part is wrong. Many guys are well respected by their girlfriend/wife and then get lazy, thus leading to the loss of respect from their girlfriend/wife.
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The_BitterTruth 5y ago
You mention convenience not respect
Robster25 5y ago
And convenience and laziness in that context are different, because...?
The_BitterTruth 5y ago
On behalf of the woman. She entered the relationship out of convenience not admiration/respect
Robster25 5y ago
Okay, I understand. But now it depends on her age. For women hitting the wall, definitely
baeslick 5y ago
Yup, and there's always a way to regain respect/frame, it just depends on the context of the relationship and the two parties involved
Scandinavianredpill 5y ago
maybe not worth respecting. most guys aren't. maybe you weren't her first choice. chose your girl carefully, not just based on looks, also personality. some will never be satisfied, some are dependable and great all around. Just like men are different.
NextBad 5y ago
> When you come to appreciate your own abilities, qualities, and achievements you will hold respect in yourself.
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No you will never feel good enough and if you put your worth in this you are building yourself upon sand, Look At Elon Musk, rich and successful , has no respect by his wife on national TV. Yet he has done more than most of us ever will. Your framing of the ideal man and placing his attraction as indirect is you simply living within feminist rules by your standards.
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Feminist: "Men don't get women because they are lazy, out of shape and fat"
You: "Well men stop being lazy and out of shape and fat"
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Red pill: "Understand the nature of women"
PUA; "Understand the nature of women"
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Your post is anti red pill, If someone disrespects me, you walk away, 9 times out of 10 she will come back. I have money she demanded I buy her dinner , the old blue pill me would of, apparently women were suppose to be a by product of my success but they weren't.
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Once I learn PUA, I started saying no to dinners, no to buying things and told them to fuck off, they mostly called me back begging.
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> No PUA tricks are going to hide this one fellas.
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PUA isn't a tick it's the rules, men ego won't allow them to appreciate energy, because they believe it's not authentic unless women approve(TM)
The_BitterTruth 5y ago
Your argument is nonsense rule books are blue pills. You are a slave.
At what point is a man content with himself if not with what he has built within himself?
Nicolas0631 5y ago
You are both right I would say:
- One should get his value from within so that he has self respect and other recognize his value, right.
- But whatever your actual achievements, body shape etc, it doesnt means you respect yourself or get respect from others. You need the right attitude too.
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Both are important and valuable.
NextBad 5y ago
Your argument is the same logic as the Gillette ad, People often get mad when I say I don't like the commercial than they say, "Well whats wrong with teaching men or calling out men for being jack asses, those men exists"
Whats wrong with asking men to be better? After all men expressing their feelings not sexually harassing women, how can this be a bad thing?
It seems the sub is using that same rationale, a man can't get laid? he must be fat,lazy,broke, bad social skills, I say the only reason 90% of men can't get laid is because of blue pill ideology, which is what this sub main focus should be
The_BitterTruth 5y ago
in what sense
Following a rule book is an essential part of blue pill ideology
YourZenemy 5y ago
When I read the title, sex came to mind. I assumed that is what the thread would be about, but the title applies to both. If you have to demand something it isn't organic and ends up looking childish. Action towards bettering your frame/aura is organic, and I believe that action can generate actual interest. & In my experience, it helps to have mental, physical and emotional space from the other person during that process -> monk mode.
I love that you included an example of the conversation piece. Honestly, I really want you to elaborate on that/add some other examples. Seeing it in real time can help a lot of people. Extremely insightful post overall.
The_BitterTruth 5y ago
Sure, if you have specific topics mention them and we can go over examples.
cuteshooter 5y ago
If she won't have sex with you when you're horny she doesn't love you or she needs some symbolic love first.
StellarMemez 5y ago
Symbolic love? Sounds kinda BP...
cuteshooter 5y ago
Whatever you call it, it fucking works.
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WeeWillieWinkieHODLr 5y ago
I get plenty, with ease, but I am single.
cantFindValidNam 5y ago
Respect is based on fear. If she does not fear loosing you (because you have options) sooner or later you are going to get disrespected. Improve yourself and increase your options. No real other way.
max_peenor 5y ago
Or desire. The bets leaders work with both.
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