Preface
I've been in and out of TRP for awhile now. Truth be told, I needed to transition from theory to practice. I truly believe that any fundamental core belief and the development of a strong frame is through trauma (physical or emotional). While game and approach is part of TRP, it's not all of it. Nonetheless it's offers valuable lessons to the whole.
Body
I usually hit up the local 7-11 across the street from the gym where I go everyday. There's a cashier that works there who was kinda cute. I already had my earbuds in and ready for my workout so there's not much conversation. She offered a bag for the water and I simply gestured no with my lips. We caught eye contact and I maintain solid hold. She l did a submissive down and up again look. I walked out, thought about it briefly and moved on.
That was 2 days ago. Today she was there. I kid you not, she gave me the biggest IOIs of the century and even had lipstick on. I'll tell you what, women don't get doll up to be a cashier... Fucking laser beam eye contact at me while I was standing in line way in the back. Up and down again. There was two cashier, and I could tell she was anxious as she wanted me to come to her line but there was a lady in her queue at the time. In my head I thought "fuck it, just approach, who cares", but my old bitch self backed off.
​
I finish my workout, walked back to the side-walk where the 7-11 was, stood there for a good 1 minute, pondering to approach. I am more to certain she noticed me doing that from the glass window of the store onto the street. Eventually, I walked inside the store and talked to her, she immediately said "no" with a dismissive face, pretending to not speak English. I even ask the fellow female cashier, and I think she knew what was going on and played along with her. Anyways, I asked for her name, shook her hand and left.
​
As I walked away, I felt glad that I approach. That was actually one of my irrational fear that I needed to eventually tackled. Failure or not. What I learned was if you don't take action while action is required, there's no second chances. The moment I walked back into the store, I am sure she knew what's up, but the fact that I didn't take action earlier causes interest to be lost. Secondly, I was too fucking tense about it even after my workout. I could have teased her more, like saying "No *smirk*? are you a mind reader now?" because she and I both know what's going down here. Additionally, I could have called her out on it and tease her about how much she was checking me out earlier and played into it more. Instead I wanted to bounce...I fucked up twice, not approaching initially and failing to see that the second go was a shit test that I failed because of a previous inaction. My fucking god, I failed that second shit test so fucking hard by believing she didn't speak English, and looked like an idiot who wasn't socially calibrated. But who fucking care, I actually felt good and almost hopping out the store because I did what I was afraid of. I actually spent a good 15 minute walking around to see if there's any more approach opportunity but only saw middle-age women at 10 a.m., on a week-day, who would have thought. And I thought, "wow overcoming that initial fear lead me to feel freer and more willing to approach".
​
Lessons
- Approach with initial IOIs, there's no second chance if she knows that you noticed and didn't take action. You're dead to her.
- Don't seek for the perfect opportunity or rationalize she's not cute enough to approach. Just do it, learn. Take a lesson and move on
- Overcoming fear leads to freedom of actions.
INNASKILLZ2K18 5y ago
I dunno, I see a lot of hamstering here. Maybe you overthought everything, saw what you WANTED to see, but really she just wasn't interested.
Yes, you could have done things differently, but don't rationalize that because you didn't do this or that, it's the reason you didn't close.
Maybe she just wasn't keen. Which is cool.
SuperCrazy07 5y ago
Jesus man. You aren’t dead to her (unless your approach was super autistic).
She’s a cashier at a place you frequent. Just be friendly and say hi and act normal. Game other girls.
At some future point when you’re having a conversation, just say you’re going out after your workout and she should join you for a drink at 8. You’ll get a yes or a no.
immadothis10 5y ago
if you passed the first shit test, her answer still would be no, I'm sorry but if a girl wants you, the answer will be 'yes' regardless
MammothPassenger 5y ago
LMFAO. Why is this sub full of such delusional retards.
"Approach with initial IOIs, there's no second chance if she knows that you noticed and didn't take action. You're dead to her."
Do you actually believe this? Or maybe your autistic interpretations of her checking you out were completely wrong?
Standgrounding 5y ago
So that was a shit test... let's rewind. How would you correctly handle the initial "rejection" without publicly looking like sex offender?
TheCiph3r 5y ago
Aren’t you supposed to approach even without IOIms?
bestsparkyalive 5y ago
Yep if you miss the first strike it’s over.... just move the fuck along. This one I learned the hard way. The super beta hard way
pythasaurus 5y ago
As others have mentioned, well done for approaching. I'm at a similar point on my TRP journey as you - the point where I put theory on the back burner and work on approaching and making solid eye contact.
You're absolutely right in that there is a small window of opportunity after she gives IOIs and that's it. It's a lesson I need to remind myself of often. Good luck going forward.
KillaJewels 5y ago
Pointers:
Take out your earbuds/headphones so you can open yourself to conversation and be aware of your environment
Be fun, light-hearted, engaging and empathetic (with everyone)
Smile more
throwawaybpdnpd 5y ago
You're overthinking it all... but good job approaching
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goodboy1112111 5y ago
Two mistakes:
You hung around outside too long and lost the element of surprise
piggiebiggie 5y ago
Could you share more about plausible deniability? I find that not having it and thinking it is important leads to me blocking myself from approaching ladies. Sometimes when I decide i don't give a fuck about it, or pretend not to, is when i actually end up chatting to people for a while
bright-morningstar 5y ago
Congratz on your approach, keep em coming. One thing I want to say is that, women are not stabile, and constantly changing their minds, emotions, feelings. So even she smiled you that day and maybe felt sexual attraction, she might not feel like that other day, and that could have no real EXPLANATION at all, it is just is. So don't bother yourself via too much thinking. You the man don't forget that.
Foobyx 5y ago
or you made up all this in your mind: she didn't eye contact you that much, or she was just curious about you, maybe you look good but she is not interested.
maybe the lipstick is for somebody else, she wanted to look pretty...
It's a cashier! it's kind of her job to be submissive and look up and down....
witchcoin 5y ago
Yeah I’m with you on this. But the OP is right, IF she was giving IOIs he should have approached straight away. And her seeing him psych himself up for the approach outside the store just makes him look nervous and strange.
But I think OP is taking IOIs too seriously. They don’t mean much. At most, they’re a way of knowing that the approach is safe and that the girl will at least be willing to listen to what you’re gonna say. Seems like OP is disappointed because he thought these basic IOIs meant he’d scored. Incorrect - girls give IOIs to every single better-than-average male they see. It means nothing other than ‘you look cool’.
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curiouschipmunk1010 5y ago
Brother, I definitely hear you. I'll tell you this, women aren't obligated to be submissive or like what they do or who they are with. You and I both know that. They know the game better than we do. I wouldn't kid myself by assuming. I've seen enough cashier to know the difference.
RPSilverfox 5y ago
You approached so I see it as a success. The outcome wasn’t what you expected but you just did what 80 percent of the male population would not. They are the failures.
THEdirtyDotterFUCKr 5y ago
80%? That low?
based off male acquaintances I have I would say 98% or higher, of their own volition. Guys asking a girl for their number, or however else kids these days try to communicate, are more often than not based on dares/bets than the balls to do something on their own.
Satellite_Wish 5y ago
Nice post bro, I learned somethin here, & the "you're dead to her" couldn't be more accurate haha.
ex_addict_bro 5y ago
You did the right thing and it’s her loss. Congrats and thanks for sharing a honest field report.
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