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- Hide Preview | 79 Comments | submitted about a month ago by Neemi [Post Locked]

You were right. It took me a while to swallow. I've spent the better part of two years after being introduced to TRP looking for the type of relationship that made me confident it would work long-term, and which would completely satisfy me. I never had the reaction of complete shock when I first read through it, as I thought some ideas could be valuable to some people, but I quickly dismissed it as PUA. I don't care much for fucking as many women as possible, so I felt it just wasn't for me.

This was in the last year of my relationship with my ex. She was extremely egalitarian about everything, including finance (for the most part) and domestic responsibilities. It all seemed so logical on paper, if you keep everything separate, you both maintain independence and so you could both do what you want, and develop the way you want. But in practice, this was a terrible idea for me. The year we lived together felt more like having a random room-mate that I would occasionally fuck than a girlfriend. We went on a vacation of a few days not too far from here, after which she went on a month-long vacation with a close friend of her to the other side of the world. I'm slightly older and I'm the type to want to nourish and care for my partner. She wasn't, and so I found myself putting effort into a relationship every day, while I wasn't getting anything out of it. Her friends became my friends, but she put very little effort in meeting mine. It effectively stalled my life as I stopped advancing my own interests. I didn't quite realize it then, but I felt something was wrong, and I couldn't shake that feeling. I trusted my gut instincts and broke up with her. The start of my path.

First thing I did was strengthen ties with my own family and friends. They gave me the advice to focus on me, and it helped a lot. Started taking lifting more seriously, continued studying, made money with my own company, I really got back on course. Meanwhile, since it was an amicable split, my ex also told me about her life. She said she was fine, but ate/slept terribly, mostly stopped working out, and was far more stressed. She never once mentioned my contribution to her life, but the evidence was clear. Breaking up meant a vast improvement in my quality of life, and a vast drop in hers. I provided for her, and was better off without her.

Obviously I wanted to avoid this in the future, so I started trying to understand which relationships work better. Traditional relationships had a higher success rate, not just because it was socially undesirable to divorce in the past, but because both members were interdependent on each other. It's basic economics. Why would two people want to cooperate instead of both having the freedom to do it themselves? Because both have a speciality that they're better at than those around them. It's a net benefit for everyone if they focus on what they're good at, and share the fruits of their labour with their peers in return for them sharing their productivity.

The biological reality is that men and women are different, and are specialized for different roles. On average, men are risk-takers, fighters, focused on honing a useful skill to contribute and provide for family. Women are more sensitive, caring, and are more focused on interpersonal relationships and keeping the extended family together. It's important for everyone to be well-rounded enough to take care of themselves if necessary. But having to do everything myself makes me less efficient. Being able to fully dedicate myself to the tasks of providing and leading the household would free me up from wasting much time taking care of the many details throughout the day. Having a partner to take care of those, who I would free from major decisions/responsibilities and financial issues, would be beneficial for us both.

On top of that, humans are inherently driven by self-interest. It's the idea behind the dual-mating strategy for women, and why men generally have at least some desire to fuck every vagina they can find. Sacrifices are generally made with the idea of getting something in return down the line. People want to be with people that make them feel good being together with them. Unless you allow yourself to be domesticated, this doesn't stop when you enter a relationship. You still meet new people. Having an interdependent relationship where both partners take up a specific role means that the relationship goes above and beyond the person you're dating. We'd also be dependent on each other, and the cost of cheating or leaving the arrangement would be catastrophic. It guarantees that even with our morals and convictions to never cheat and be loyal to each other, we have extra motivation to work everything out together rather than running away. In the relationship with my ex, we kept our affairs entirely separate. It shocked me how easy it was for either of us to leave forever. I can only imagine that if we hit a serious rough patch, and at least one of us had a good alternative, it would've ended regardless.

That brings me to today. I almost have my one year anniversary coming up with a girl that suits me very well. She's more traditional, and quickly made it known that she'd prefer to have an older (we differ just over 10 years), more experienced partner to submit to. This played well into my desire to guide and provide within a relationship. In return, she derives real pleasure from serving what she considers a worthy man. She cooks, cleans, does whatever I tell her to do, and fucks me like a pornstar whenever I want. Her submission is a gift she chose to give me. She's smart, naturally sceptical, and doesn't submit to anyone else. But like me, she realised that while she's capable of reaching many goals herself, she's happier with a partner to unload part of the responsibilities on. She'd be happier having a strong man that takes care of her by her side to serve and please.

She had a few short relationships before me, but all extremely unsatisfying to her. Most guys are pussies to her that she couldn't ever truly respect. She laughed about how she could hit her last ex in the face, and he wouldn't do anything to her in return. She was testing me the same way initially, but found a much more satisfying response, and submitted much more willingly just a few weeks in. It was clear to me, as long as I put effort into being the most competent version of myself, she'd do anything to stay with me. Suddenly it all became easy. I would provide, she would serve. I started dedicating myself to improve my look, career, status and income, she started dedicating herself to making me happy, keeping me satisfied, and showering me with love and affection. We've both never been happier and are deeply in love.

I wanted to share this experience because I never took significant time to read through all the literature provided here, or consciously shaped my beliefs to the ones mentioned here. I followed my own path, worked through the reality of what makes long-term relationships work, figured out what would make me happy in life. And somehow, the relationship I ended up with resonates well with the general lessons of what is taught here. I don't think this type of relationship works for absolutely every guy and girl out there, but having people (both me and my girlfriend) independently arrive at a similar conclusion shows there is merit to these ideas. I think especially pragmatic people, and people whose source of confidence isn't based on the image they project to society and are therefore more willing to live life the way they themselves see fit, could benefit from at least considering this. Both sides consent, benefit, and are completely satisfied. Why would anyone not be in favour?

[-] MindlessCalendar 100 Points about a month ago

She laughed about how she could hit her last ex in the face, and he wouldn't do anything to her in return.

Great post overall, but this is a huge red flag if she actually did hit him. Regardless of how you frame it. If it was joke then good for you.

[-] SeasonedRP 37 Points about a month ago

This is a good observation. Even joking about it is a red flag to me, whether or not she actually did it.

[-] BobbyPeru 21 Points about a month ago

Even joking about it is a red flag to me,

I’m going to go against the grain here and say this is not necessarily a big deal. This might be womanese for her telling OP she likes his dominance

[-] Neemi 12 Points about a month ago

Thank you! Fortunately for me, it was a metaphor she used. I remembered her saying she felt like she could do literally anything to the guy, even hitting him, and he wouldn't ever do anything back to her in return. She explained it's why she lost all respect of him really quickly, and why the relationship didn't last long.

To add to the other comments in this thread, she's also very physical and likes wrestling, because she likes feeling weaker than the guy she's dating, and even has some of that physical heritage in her culture. It's always been very clearly playful though. If it ever would turn into physical abuse, she'd be crossing a red line that I won't tolerate.

[-] BoBinCar 11 Points about a month ago

It depends on the culture/country some women can be very physical when angry, like Italians, Russian, Arabians...

[-] RiseAtlas 8 Points about a month ago

Doesn't matter. It's never okay.

[-] [deleted] about a month ago
[-] xddm2653 5 Points about a month ago

How so? If a guy is so pussyish she isn't afraid to do this, it's his fault

[-] baeslick 6 Points about a month ago

You do realize there are crazy people who disregard boundaries period, right? Some people are just abusive no matter how "alpha" you are

[-] xddm2653 4 Points about a month ago

Yea but the chick didn't sound like that. OP said she's submissive. It's natural for chicks to lash out at total cucky boyfriends

[-] Zech4riah 2 Points about a month ago

No it's not.

Why would you date a girl who beats/slaps people just because she can? Have you misinterpreted TRP or did your parents beat the reason out of you when you were a child?

[-] xddm2653 1 Point about a month ago

If a girl is beating slapping you, you are a pussy she cannot respect.

You think a girl will slap long dick Tyrone who just got out of prison?

[-] Zech4riah 3 Points about a month ago

Try having a relationship with a chick how has slapped previous boyfriend, children or something else just because they are weaker and annoyed her in some way. Then get back here and tell me how it went. Most probably she slapped you too at some point and most probably you were the man and slapped her back and maybe the police came for a visit after that?

If a woman gets physical, she is broken goods and she will get physical against everything. When a woman like that gets annoyed, no amount of Tyrone will make her hold back. Yes, it may rise the bar a bit (they have some sense of self preservation) but it will happen.

[-] xddm2653 1 Point about a month ago

I mean yea, I would slap her the fuck back. Most girls aren't going to call the police over that, they'll shut up and never do it again.

If I got arrested over that, I'd evict her and never see her again.

[-] BazingaBen 3 Points about a month ago

Agreed, was going to say same but he's commented below it's more of a metaphor so she wasn't actually hitting anyone in the face.

[-] spndxwra 3 Points about a month ago

OMG thats a red flag...

wake up

[-] [deleted] about a month ago
[-] Trenned_out 1 Point about a month ago

Oh yea definitely a quality in a GF to brag about that shed hit her ex.... Jesus fucking christ

[-] KeffirLime 67 Points about a month ago

interdependent on each other. It's basic economics

For sound economics I would be weary about being dependent on factors I do not directly control. I would never leverage my financial success on a single supplier. If they get wind of my dependency, they can manipulate me, cut supply or worse, they can find another customer who's willing to pay more leaving my business bankrupt.

Your supplier should always be aware that their role is appreciated, but alternatives are available and willing to step in if they do not meet standards. This will always ensure they remain motivated to deliver you their best.

The free market is what drives performance, you want to ensure that you're the more needed commodity in any interaction to achieve favorable terms.

[-] ReformSociety 17 Points about a month ago

Female economists hate him!

[-] OutsideTheCage3 8 Points about a month ago

after which she went on a month-long vacation with a close friend of her to the other side of the world

That means he is in an open relationship, whether he recognizes it or not.

I don't understand why guys don't understand this.

[-] Neemi 7 Points about a month ago

I didn't recognize it in the moment with my ex, but I put it there exactly because I now see how clearly it showed my ignorance in that area. I've learned from it and that won't happen to me again. It didn't trigger me initially because she technically didn't cheat, and her reasons for doing so made sense. I also took pride in my security in the relationship. Failing and being used are the best ways to learn to do better in the future.

[-] Neemi 4 Points about a month ago

That's true, though in this case supply and demand goes both ways. The logic of supply and demand you're mentioning here makes sense when entering a LTR for the sake of sex and companionship. There's always other people on the free sexual market. If both people want to start a family, however, they both need each other for the best possible outcome. Even if our relationship ends, we would still be together as the biological parents for children.

Marriage in essence becomes a form of mutually assured destruction. In the end, either one of us could pull the plug and move on, but both of us would be far worse off than when we stay together. Considering I maintain control of finances and make the important decisions, in the end the risk will be lower for me than for her.

[-] KeffirLime 3 Points about a month ago

they both need each other for the best possible outcome.

For your roles to function effectively and for you to receive the treatment you desire you always needs to operate on free market principles. Even with kids, otherwise she realizes your dependency, treats you like shit and then the bonus is your kids get to grow up in a home where mom treats dad like shit, without any respect because he's dependent. What sort of man or woman will this produce in adulthood.

Marriages used to work because of female dependency on the man. She never worked, she'd be unable to fend for herself, coupled with viscous social consequences if she left. This is no longer socially created, so you have to synthetically create it by being the more in demand commodity, which is an alpha male with multiple options. It's not that you are going to exercise those options, it's that she needs to know her replaceability.

but both of us would be far worse off than when we stay together.

Not in todays day and age, woman don't leave their husbands to wallow in self pitty, they already have another suitor lined up and ready to provide. In addition to this she get's half your shit to then go and amalgamate with her new spread. She's better off and you're screwed.

[-] Neemi 2 Points about a month ago

otherwise she realizes your dependency, treats you like shit

I think I see the difference in our opinions here. I see it as two people depending on each other. You see it as me relying on her, but not the other way around. Given that I control all finances and she leaves the major decisions in me, the moment I'm dissatisfied by her treating me like shit, I could immediately cut her off. I prefer working things out with her because I prefer stability. Long-term stability is best achieved by giving someone the benefit of the doubt to allow them to prove themselves to you. So far, she's been great. If she ends up being impossible to work with, I'd leave.

Not in todays day and age, woman don't leave their husbands to wallow in self pitty, they already have another suitor lined up and ready to provide. In addition to this she get's half your shit to then go and amalgamate with her new spread. She's better off and you're screwed.

Even assuming a regular marriage contract, I'll keep half our shit, my career, my company, my status, my income, and my looks. She'll keep half our shit, her looks, and becomes dependent on someone who could potentially backstab her to maintain her lifestyle. Men age better than women too. My value and long-term prospects are higher than hers.

[-] KeffirLime 4 Points about a month ago

I see her relying on you, for now, but that can be subject to change, which is why your dependency should also be subject to terms and conditions and not absolute.

I could immediately cut her off. I prefer working things out with her because I prefer stability.

She need's to be aware of that to maintain favorable treatment, more so the longer the relationship goes. Working it out can be dangerous when you don't enforce your boundaries, because she'll push them and push them until she realizes she can do whatever she wants without consequence. As long as what you're working out is within those boundaries it's no biggie, if she's constantly overstepping, it's dangerous for you.

My value and long-term prospects are higher than hers.

You'll be alright, which is great but that won't guarantee her loyalty. She'll simply see an opportunity that seems better in the moment and that will be enough. Bare in mind the longer a relationship goes the harder it is to maintain attraction, which means it's easier to find that attraction elsewhere.

[-] TruthSeekingPerson 60 Points about a month ago

Modern women have gotten too masculine. Men have gotten too feminine. Men have rolled over for too long and now society is paying the price for it.

[-] the-dan-man 38 Points about a month ago

I would say its more to do with that men and women are in competition with each other, for work, money resources etc. Instead of cooperating with each other for survival. And with the decline of community and family values, it results in all out war and confusion for everywhere.

[-] BobbyPeru 6 Points about a month ago

I would say its more to do with that men and women are in competition

This is more to the root of the issue.

If you’re ever puzzled by a societal problem, just follow the money trail.

[-] _do_not_read_this_ 2 Points about a month ago

It's because hunting/providing (working a job to make a safe home) is genetically a man's duty. Women's lib and equality have forced women into doing manly things (working a job to make a safe home).

Lo and behold, women start acting like men in all aspects.

[-] BobbyPeru 2 Points about a month ago

Generally true, but most of them can be tamed at home and in the bedroom by a red pill man.

[-] Neemi 3 Points about a month ago

That's very close to my line of thinking. If everyone's fighting over the same half of the tasks to a stable society, in the middle of a time with an unprecedented number of options and opportunity in life, it leaves too many paralysed by confusion rather than living a happy life.

[-] _do_not_read_this_ 6 Points about a month ago

I truly dislike all the "man-chicks" out there. Hooting and hollering for sports teams, manly features, swearing, "in your face" about everything, no curves, rarely silent.

It goes back to male and female energy (David Deida's work is great for explaining this). If a woman has a manly man in her life, the man will take care of manly things (providing, fixing things, making sure the family is safe), leaving the woman to be a woman: caregiver, housekeeper, mother.

It's when women lack a manly man that they have to literally take over a man's duties (yes, even going out and getting a job to pay bills - what a scam women's "equality" turned out to be!), then it can be observed that they literally take on a man's physical features.

[-] MattyAnon 45 Points about a month ago

I'm slightly older and I'm the type to want to nourish and care for my partner. She wasn't, and so I found myself putting effort into a relationship every day, while I wasn't getting anything out of it.

This is nothing to do with age, this is the standard male female dynamic. The usual self-lie men are encouraged to tell themselves is "investing in the relationship", which is just obfuscation for "men give, women take".

Traditional relationships had a higher success rate, not just because it was socially undesirable to divorce in the past, but because both members were interdependent on each other.

Traditional marriage was fucking terrible: the man does everything for the woman who raises the children and complains to her friends about how much she hates her (beta) husband. Divorce rates were low due to social shaming, but marriages were usually miserable and still one sided. How could it be any other way? Married = full on beta. It's like micro-communism with a size of 2 - theoretically both parties benefit by working towards a common goal but in practice the lazy person benefits from the hard work of the other.

Traditional marriage sucked - you can't buy yourself out of the SMP with money and commitment and expect hot monkey sex.

Women are more sensitive, caring, and are more focused on interpersonal relationships and keeping the extended family together.

Pure bullshit. This is the narrative, and it's not true. Women are sociopathic, uncaring and they keep families together with gossip, lies, manipulation and control..... and always for their own benefit. It works because they naturally side with each other and because men don't see how insecure and controlling they are.

OP.... I don't get this.... you say how your ex put nothing into the relationship and yet here you are saying that women in general are the more caring ones. Come on man... wake up and see that the reality you have experienced actually is reality.

She had a few short relationships before me

Again, don't be too naive. How many is "a few"? She wants it to sound like 2-3 when really it's 20-30.

I'm glad things are better with your new girl, but you're still being a little naive about the nature of women.

[-] Dash_of_islam 23 Points about a month ago

Yeah if his sweet princess stabs him in the back, maybe then he will realize everyone has the capacity to fuck you over

[-] Vasallo7G 12 Points about a month ago

I think marriage was very successful when the man was allowed to have lovers.

80 years ago women were told that as long as "he provides, doesn't hit you, and does not walk in front of you with her mistress" the man was allowed to fool around.

The level of respect and love you saw in those couples (grandpas of people around 50 today) is unprecedented today

[-] redblueninja 10 Points about a month ago

Hey man, I use trp to succeed in my mission and with women, so I don't give much attention to the macro-level discussion about feminism and society.

Traditional marriage was fucking terrible: the man does everything for the woman who raises the children and complains to her friends about how much she hates her (beta) husband. Divorce rates were low due to social shaming, but marriages were usually miserable and still one sided.

Having said that, if traditional marriages were not as favorable to men, then when we say "Enjoy the decline", which decline are we talking about?

[-] Krypteian 8 Points about a month ago

sauceitehh.

Brainwash. Feminism. Reversal of the gender roles. Gender's a spectrum. Standing in line for a sauce that's been mentioned in a cartoon. Everyone's born a blank slate. Credit. Propaganda. Advertising. Communism. "Free market" capitalism. Open borders. Anyone over the border is a man, but you. etc.

[-] MattyAnon 2 Points about a month ago

Having said that, if traditional marriages were not as favorable to men, then when we say "Enjoy the decline", which decline are we talking about?

I personally don't say this, but the general meaning is "if I can't have my princess at least I can fuck sluts"

[-] Neemi 4 Points about a month ago

Thanks for the thorough response, I appreciate it!

This is nothing to do with age, this is the standard male female dynamic. The usual self-lie men are encouraged to tell themselves is "investing in the relationship", which is just obfuscation for "men give, women take".

True. I've looked around me since then and I realize I'm far from the only one in this situation. I wanted to clearly frame the situation as suffering from many of the same issues that you warn guys about.

Traditional marriage was fucking terrible: the man does everything for the woman who raises the children and complains to her friends about how much she hates her (beta) husband.

I respect the different perspective, but my view on marriage is really different. I think a large reason is the happy marriages of my older relatives I have as examples. Parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, brothers and sisters are all happily married for countless years with children. None of them have ever given an indication that they resent their partners, instead I always see them making plans to spend as much time as possible with each other. I agree that a marriage between a hard-working person and lazy person isn't ideal, but so far we seem equally ambitious, and we both put in the hours to make our dream come true.

Maybe it's naive, and maybe I'll get taken advantage of. But having a family of my own has been my lifelong dream and main goal in life. I owe it to myself to give it the best shot I got. She shows all the signs of being an amazing opportunity. If it doesn't work out, at least I can accept that I've truly tried.

you say how your ex put nothing into the relationship and yet here you are saying that women in general are the more caring ones.

Can't really disagree when you put it like that. I'm glad you're pointing this out. My line of thinking is that I generally see women spend more time making sure people they know are doing fine and keeping tabs, while men are more easy-going and accepting when friends move away or someone comes back in their life after a while. You could argue it's all a part of control and for their own benefit in the end, because a larger web of people means a larger web of people to ask favours when they need something.

Again, don't be too naive. How many is "a few"? She wants it to sound like 2-3 when really it's 20-30.

She was a virgin when we met, so it really was just a few, and it never reached the stage that she fucked them. Even though she desperately wanted to and had quite a lot of fun herself, the first time was clearly a big deal in a way you can't fake, and it was very obvious she'd never done it before with the way she thought sex was exactly like porn. I don't want to go into the dirty details, but I currently have no doubt I was her first, and none of her friends and family ever gave me any indication to the contrary.

[-] MattyAnon 1 Point about a month ago

I think a large reason is the happy marriages of my older relatives I have as examples. Parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, brothers and sisters are all happily married for countless years with children.

Interesting. My extended family is fucking god awful. No divorce but no happy marriages either. Men doing stuff. Women talking and gossiping and doing fuck all else other than talking about their entitlement and how terrible their lives are.

I agree that a marriage between a hard-working person and lazy person isn't ideal, but so far we seem equally ambitious, and we both put in the hours to make our dream come true.

This is how it starts. "Both put in the hours, both try and make our dream come true". But then women realise then don't have to work, they can do nothing and you still have to provide, that they can fuck Chad while you're at work. Suddenly "working hard to make a dream" isn't as appealing as "go and fuck that guy with a plane on instagram and have the dream right this second". There's plenty of men who will pretend to offer the dream, and women are short term by nature...

I'm sorry if you disagree, but I just don't buy the "make a dream together". Everything I've seen about women suggests they do a bait and switch:

  1. pretend to build a dream together

  2. financially and socially obligate the man

  3. get lazier and lazier every year until retirement at age 25. If there are kids demand a cleaner and babysitter.

but I currently have no doubt I was her first, and none of her friends and family ever gave me any indication to the contrary.

You might be right. Just know that virgins get curious about other men sooner or later. Zero previous isn't the ideal number in terms of female loyalty (1-2 is statistically better).

[-] VasiliyZaitzev 33 Points about a month ago

I'm glad you're happy. But don't get complacent.

[-] thedaynos 10 Points about a month ago

Yep this.

Dont stop lifting. Stay abundant. Dont fail shit tests. They won't stop. You cant stop either.

Good luck.

[-] Neemi 5 Points about a month ago

Never. Like I said in my main post, I feel confident knowing that she's with me because of my ambition and status, because it is now in my own hands to succeed in all areas of life. I'm thankful for this opportunity to excel and every part of me wants to make the most of this chance I've been given.

[-] grewapair 25 Points about a month ago

Put a ring on her finger and you'll realize it's all an act.

[-] BobbyPeru 24 Points about a month ago

She cooks, cleans, does whatever I tell her to do, and fucks me like a pornstar whenever I want. Her submission is a gift she chose to give me.

She’s auditioning in the first year. You need to dig into her past to see if she is really like this.

[-] Neemi 10 Points about a month ago

I agree, and I had the same thoughts. When I really care about someone, I always try to figure them out and to understand how they work as people. Even from the casual stories she's told me, she seems entirely internally consistent. I also pay close attention to how she acts when really tired or when in a bad mood, because people who fake are more likely to break character. So far, all seems well.

[-] DocZTheRockstar 16 Points about a month ago

She hit her ex in the face, and then laughed about it? Noooope. I'd drop her after hearing that. Hitting her back could've put him in jail. So it's not that he can't, but if he did, there are serious repercussions if he does. She doesn't get that.

Big red flag imo. If she hit him, she's probably unpredictable. Guard up OP, if you decide to stay with her.

[-] seedster5 4 Points about a month ago

I'm like 99% sure this is a metaphor for her ex who did not stand up for himself.

[-] Neemi 0 Points about a month ago

You're right, getting violent is a huge red flag. I should have clarified better that it was a metaphor, but because I distinctly remember her saying "I could've hit him in the face and he would have probably just sit there and accepted it" as hyperbole I just wrote it down like that. Her point was that she shit-tested him, and quickly realized he had no limits at all and she could get away with everything. She lost all respect for him soon after that, and the relationship didn't last long.

Just in case it wasn't a metaphor, I'm obviously keeping an eye out if she tries to do that with me. I don't waste time with people I don't see a future with, and her disrespecting me this completely would have huge consequences for her.

[-] sebastianconcept 15 Points about a month ago

Happy to hear you’re doing well. This is a reminder of the complementarity of sex at all levels . Psychological in particular.

[-] Neemi 3 Points about a month ago

Couldn't agree more. I'm biased as someone very interested in the psychological, but I often feel it's being neglected.

[-] metallicdrama 8 Points about a month ago

Never depend on a woman for anything. You should be able to survive, even thrive without a partner. But the partner should be improving your life even more. Never be interdependent. Women always win and men always lose in this situation. Don't ever doubt this. Traditional relationships were successful because that's how easy it was to fail. Interdependence is irrelevant in our modern economic reality. Always will be unless we get grown back to a dark age.

A woman is not your partner. Ever. She is your sidekick. Your assistant. Your bangmaid. Your secretary. She is not equal in your domain. And I don't mean that in an abusive, neglectful chauvinistic way. I mean that as in if you don't put yourself above her you're automatically below her.

[-] Neemi 3 Points about a month ago

English isn't my native language so sometimes I don't notice I use the wrong words until someone points it out.

Being able to survive and thrive independently is indeed extremely important, because without that your partner will always have a certain undeniable leverage over you. I tried to bring across the idea of both parties benefiting from the relationship, by dividing the tasks within a relationship among them. This sounds similar to your message in the first paragraph. I figured the fact both take over responsibilities means relying on each other to some degree, hence "interdependence". However, I don't mean it as completely relying on the other to keep thriving. I let her do things for me out of convenience, not because I can't do them myself.

I also fully agree with your second paragraph. We each have our own domain, and for that reason we are not equals - we each have a role. I lead, she obeys. If I can't lead properly, I shouldn't be leading at all.

[-] BlindingTwilight 4 Points about a month ago

OP your new girlfriend is not a unicorn. You have not swallowed the pill. Back to square one.

[-] meaningintragedy 3 Points about a month ago

I am surprised by the 90% upvote rate.

It's a beautiful story, but I see here a severe case of oneitis and pedestaling.

[-] TheImpossible1 3 Points about a month ago

People here do relationships? Why?

[-] wobbleelbbow 17 Points about a month ago

Using rp to reach bp goals.

[-] TheImpossible1 2 Points about a month ago

I'll never be blue pilled. Women are replaceable, none are special.

AWALT.

[-] Vasallo7G 15 Points about a month ago

I discovered RP already married, in fact, it saved my marriage.

I love being married and I would do it again with my wife, but getting married as a man is crazy: it's betting your life for a 5% chance of improving it (at least is how I see it)

And also giving up your freedom is something that is really undervalued

[-] the-dan-man 9 Points about a month ago

Because not everyone wants to grow old and die alone.

[-] SeasonedRP 10 Points about a month ago

You're still stuck on a fantasy that won't come true. To the contrary, it is much more likely to die with someone who find you repulsive and is glad that you're gone. That's what really happens.

[-] tempolaca 4 Points about a month ago

That's what really happens.

I'll say 70% of the time, yes. Some ladies (like my grand-grandmother did) really loved their husbands and they basically die when their husband died.

[-] the-dan-man 2 Points about a month ago

Those are the negative aspects of it sure. It is a hell of a lot more complicated than that though. And i am not stuck on a fantasy, in fact i just came out of a relationship.

[-] NBDer 2 Points about a month ago

If you're afraid of dying alone then you have 0 self respect and are more than likely discontent with yourself.

This is why TRP promotes self mastery and inner game.

[-] Ubermensch33 6 Points about a month ago

Some men also want to have and raise families.

[-] NBDer 2 Points about a month ago

This has nothing to do with dying alone.

[-] [deleted] about a month ago
[-] the-dan-man 6 Points about a month ago

Everyone in the history of mankind is afraid of growing old and dying alone. Unless you are a sociopath or something. Stop spouting dogma at me. It is fine to have mastery and inner game and all that shit when you are young, but when you start getting older and your health and energy and philosophy changes, so will you.

[-] NBDer 1 Point about a month ago

Maybe so, I'm only 23.

But the way I see it is that at least more than 50% "die alone" based on pure reasoning. Even so, do you really need an SO to stave off that fear? Do you not have family and friends that love you enough?

[-] [deleted] about a month ago
[-] Neemi 2 Points about a month ago

Can't answer for everyone, but for me the reason is that I want to have my own family some day. It's been my lifelong dream to raise my own children. I'd prefer to not have to do this alone, and so a suitable, loving, dedicated wife to raise them with me would be ideal. I'm fully aware that relying on someone else opens me up to more risk than just going at it alone. But given my priorities, I simply consider it the ideal outcome for both me personally and my kids. And with many marriages and LTR's working out just fine all around me within my family and circle of friends, I don't see why I couldn't do it.

[-] Pezotecom 2 Points about a month ago

I very much agree with you.

And I wanted to discuss something related to hypergamy.

Will she have to decide someday on branch swinging and what do you think will affect her decision?

[-] Neemi 2 Points about a month ago

I specifically chose this girl because I naturally fulfil all her stated needs and desires. She says without hesitation that I'm the most perfect guy for her she's ever met, and has no problem showing that she means it. My personal goals are to stay in shape, become an amazing father, and have an incredibly successful career so we can live in luxury. She's perfectly aligned with my frame. I'm confident that as long as I continue to achieve and do well, I'll be her best viable option forever. The same is true for her - as long as she continues to put effort in her stated goals of staying in shape, being an amazing mother and devoting herself to me as I take care of her, I have no reason to look beyond. As long as there's no better overall alternative, there's no risk of branch swinging either way.

[-] randomTATRP 1 Point about a month ago

AWALT man.

this is an oneitis, be careful.

and all of this can be only a mask of hers.

[-] llama_moth 2 Points about a month ago

Congratulations. You win the game (as long as you don't get complacent).

But this isn't really what Redpill is about. It sounds to me like you're in a happy D/s relationship. You've both realised it's so much better in your respective Dominant/submisive roles. But that's not what redpill is about. Regardless though, you've found something that works for you.

​

Your story illustrates polarity. That difference in masculine/feminine energy will keep things hot. When you're both trying to be equal, like with your previous girlfriend, you lose the passion and it becomes dull. Sounds like you already get it - but you would probably get a lot of value from "The Way of the Superior Man" by David Deida. Gives great advice for maintaining that polarity which a D/s relationship thrives on (even though it's not redpill).

[-] Neemi 2 Points about a month ago

Thank you. Before posting I was debating whether to post it here, since I wasn't sure if it was entirely suitable. After reading much of the theory again and some similar posts, I looked at the amount of overlap and I figured I'd give it a shot. You're very perceptive in immediately recognising the D/s elements too, but having actually talked to many people into D/s, they often have a really different philosophy to their relationships. You describe the relationship as good as I could.

I very much appreciate the book suggestion. I had heard of it before, but hadn't read it. Your recommendation pushed it to the top of the list. If you or anyone else happens to be reading this and has a great book in mind, I'm all ears.

[-] lespaul134 1 Point about a month ago

Inb4 your happiness is a foolish myth and ur retarded for not cheating everytime she turns her head gotta remind the bitch who's ALFA rite??

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