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- Hide Preview | 149 Comments | submitted 3 months ago by ghettobutmellow [Post Locked]

As a society, we're seeing less and less cold approaches. The saying here is that once you approach a girl you're already top 10%, I'd put that number the fuck down after what I've experienced with a bud of mine.

Context

A good friend of mine who's been struggling with women came to me for advice, as he's seen at least a bit of success in my endeavors. Desperate and confused as to why he has no girls in his life, I decided to ask him a simple question. How many women have you approached who aren't part of your friend group this week? Needless to say, the number was zero.

Body

My friend is a very average guy in all aspects, height, face, body. After telling him the basics of how to pick up girls off of cold approach without telling him too much on red pill theory (enough for him to get a girl's number), it took a while, but I managed to get him motivated enough for his first approach on a bus. And he bombed the approach, the girl looked at him in the eye and said "no". Miraculously, without me even telling him, his desperation propelled him to heights I could not imagine. Because he instinctively took this as a passive shit test and said: "What's wrong, I'm just trying to make conversation". After a very stale and seemingly unemotional conversation, he came right back towards me and sat down. I could see the gloom in his facial expression. Just when I was about to give him some feedback, the girl walks towards us and says "Most guys don't approach girls like that", and proceeds to give him her number. If you ask me what once seemed like the top 10% of men seems to be a lot less if simply approaching a girl is good enough to secure a number.

Conclusion

Men, due to the alienation of random approaches we as humans, a race that thrives off of being social, are becoming less social. If simply approaching a woman during the day and staying around her long enough is enough for her to feel a surge of emotion and unaccustomed attraction, how far have we fallen? People are labeled as weird for sparking up random conversations with strangers. And for those who do, you can't help but feel the rigidity in what should otherwise be a fluid interaction between two humans. I may be young but I know it wasn't always like this, people used to talk to each other on public transport and in general. As opposed to staying glued on their phone and swiping away at tinder. This may be because back then talking is preferable to staring at each other, but even so, we were more social back then. How ironic that the use of "social media" has made us less social. Think about this next time you are in a bus/tram/train, put your phone down and realize the eeriness of the silence between strangers. Because it sure as hell creeped me out enough into approaching.

[-] LightSkinKen 325 Points 3 months ago

Social media : “Where everyone is alone together”

[-] reddexx 4 Points 3 months ago

I'm sharing that on facebook, haha

[-] [deleted] 3 months ago
[-] [deleted] 3 months ago
[-] [deleted] 3 months ago
[-] JPVoltaire 249 Points 3 months ago

I’m in college and I see this everywhere. There can be 30+ people standing together waiting for a class, and every single one of them is just staring at their phone. Wild.

[-] death-loves-time 116 Points 3 months ago

i got into some super cool conversations just from having older folk not only appreciate my unexpected interruption but be pleasantly surprised that that is still a thing.

this is the age where social interaction has been outsourced/monopolized, contracted out to big social media companies, let the robots bid their masters

[-] Verstappen3363 43 Points 3 months ago

This. There is only one person in my class that actively goes out to start conversations with everyone else. He is a very friendly, confident and funny dude, the most popular kid in the class.

When we first met at the start of the course, I was surprised and didn't know how to react when he randomly came up to me and introduced himself. I didn't think it was normal. The dude is really hands on with people - handshakes, hugs, fistbumps, the lot, but that shit works, people are drawn to him, he is one of the most socially capable people I've ever known.

I've deliberately gone out my way to learn from him and copy some of his behaviour, and I've succeeded more socially because of it. I'm still working on it though.

Generation Z is probably the most socially incapable generation to ever exist.

[-] ClarityTRP 11 Points 3 months ago

there was a guy in my grad program who did exactly this. at the orientation day, while everyone was awkwardly sitting around and not talking, he brought people together by putting himself out there starting conversations. if people were awkward toward him he somehow plowed past it to make them comfortable. he was the most popular guy instantly, and continued to be for the rest of the two year program.

​

this was in a very liberal city, and he was quite clever about navigating anything political or redpill in conversations as I was (think as you like but behave like others-style lines in response to potentially divisive questions). would not be surprised if he browses here.

[-] weag5l 10 Points 3 months ago

It's part of a bigger problem. Everyone either hates or has no concept of masculinity. Masculinity is principally about taking responsibility. In this case for initiating courtship. It takes balls to look someone in the eye and do this. The fear of social rejection is one of the biggest fears there is. Women never risk it. They are not masculine.

Phones remove risk (just block that annoying nerd) and amplify one's social circle. They are feminine.

[-] Scatre 2 Points 3 months ago

Well, if you're getting a degree that's actually worthwhile, 90% of those people will be male.

[-] Auvergnat 206 Points 3 months ago

Approach anxiety has always made day game something only a small % of guys do. Smartphones and #metoo fear have reduced this even further.

You say it's "getting sad out there", I'm saying it's "getting easier and easier out there" given how girls crave some real-world attention that no men give them nowadays outside of bars and clubs.

My day gaming has become excessively simple:

  1. Open on a prop, or break the ice with a comment on our common environment.
  2. Make small talk peppering the convo with value baits for her to hook on and get invested.
  3. Continue till she's getting curious and starts asking personal questions.
  4. Abandon if she doesn't hook. Get number to "continue this conversation another time" if she does.

That's it. No line. No gimmick. Just normal conversation. Indirect approaching like this basically voids any #metoo risk. You're just talking about the weather with a random stranger. You only voice your interest once she's voiced hers.

[-] niger_delta_king 45 Points 3 months ago

Can you elaborate on number 2?

[-] NorthOC 100 Points 3 months ago

I'll give you an example.

Imagine that you have arrived from a different country to wherever.

Now you get into a convo about the weather.

You: Nice day, isn't it?

Her: Yeah, sunny and no clouds.

You: I'm not used to this. Back home it's different (value bait)

Her: Where do you come from? (hook)

You: [some region or country]. Currently I'm travelling around the continent. (signaling value)

So now you value baited and showed off that you're adventurous. Add a little flirting to that and then you can easily close.

Edit: PS. This is how I imagine value bait

[-] ariky 25 Points 3 months ago

+1 on this. My example: You see some kids playing around. Tell your authentic opinion. If you get a reaction you are already there. Also smile. I try to catch a woman’s smile. Get an eye contact and smile to the same thing.

I experienced girls crawl for my self esteem. They openly told it but better is they showed it by act.

[-] SoftVision 5 Points 3 months ago

Roosh's book Game has a few examples of this exactly.

[-] Ihatemoi 3 Points 3 months ago

Trying to be a devils advocate here. What if you genuily do not know what to say or to talk to an stranger?

Probably this conversation happened when the girl was very physically close to you (lets say waiting in a line at the store), most of the time this does not happen, usually we have to walk over to the other person, this way it is harder to talk about something randomly happening in the place, as the purpose of walking up to the girl is talking to her.

What do you recommend, tips etc? I have real problems in the department of approaching and finding topics to talk about.

[-] NorthOC 3 Points 3 months ago

Okay internet stranger, I dare you to try this and don't you even reply without trying because I will know. You will know.

The next time you leave your house, go up to a girl who is either standing or sitting alone, and say Hi. That's all. Then stand or sit there and wait for a second.

If it feels awkward, tell her that it feels awkward. You can even tell her why you did it (because a stranger on the internet told you). Whatever comes to your mind. If all else fails, just say "I don't know what I was going to say".

The point of this is to prove that you don't have to plan an approach. You just go for it and if a girl is not responsive, you still feel good because you tried. You will overcome yourself. You will not die.

Look, most people are gonna sugarcoat the approach. But when you are walking on that street that you go through everyday and see a girl that you would want to bang, it's going to get really scary. Your body will feel like a heavy rock and nothing in your head will make sense except for the million excuses that all seem to make sense in that moment.

I want you to take a piece of paper right now and write two words "fuck it". Now put it in your shoe or stick it on your house door. That way, whenever you decide to leave your house for the next time, you will have a powerful fraze that will remind you of this comment. Do not skip this step, even if it sounds silly, you'll thank me later man.

I hope you will take this chance to change your life and finally break that cycle of not knowing what to say, with just a simple Hi.

[-] ariky 2 Points 3 months ago

Sorry for the latency.

If you are trying to start a convo it won’t last long. The term “authentic” means that you show your true self.

I gave the kids example because I really but really love them. So I can talk about or initiate a convo right away.

Also I’m a musician too. Singing, playing guitar and producing. So if a woman’s voice is truly has an impact on me (since I’m very sensitive to sounds) I can talk about directly. For ex: “Hey excuse me but could you please say that again? It sounds very random but I got a catch in your voice somehow.”

That is flirting indirectly. Just go to the point. Most of the girls want to be led through their life. Be the man. They will stick.

Also find your native interests and just bring them out. Confidence is the key, you gain it by doing.

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[-] empatheticapathetic 0 Points 3 months ago

Strange example. Opening with a bland topic like the weather only because you can save it because you’re an exotic foreigner. How often are you an exotic foreigner?

[-] NorthOC 12 Points 3 months ago

Probably not often but it doesn't matter. The point of the comment was to give an example. You gotta create intrigue somehow that is congruent to you. So find some hobbies or interests. I can give you a different example:

I like to play guitar so I'll give you an example:

Me: This song sound pretty good.

Her: Yeah, I used to listen to it.

Me: Yeah same, I played this one in a bar once.

Her: What do you play? (or "You can sing? ")

Me: Yeah

Her: 'asking questions'

[-] empatheticapathetic 3 Points 3 months ago

Yeah this is more relatable imo. Still value dependent but that was your point.

[-] NorthOC 2 Points 3 months ago

Well, value bait, requires some sort of value.

If you look at the post Mystery and RSD routine style pick up, the focus shifted to more natural game - and value is one of core fundamentals of this type of game.

Just don't get the wrong idea that value is only about conversation. Sometimes it's the way you look, or the way you talk. Hell, even saying hi to a girl in a calm manner is already a display of value (confident).

You should note that if a girl is not responsive to your approach, it rarely means that you or your value is at fault. In 90% of cases, it's her emotions.

[-] kenpachitz 9 Points 3 months ago

Assuming #metoo wasn't an issue, would you still opt for this indirect means or be more direct?

If direct, how would you go about it?

[-] Auvergnat 19 Points 3 months ago

Even pre-#metoo I was never going direct. My value is in my experience and hobbies, not my looks. By going direct, I'm forcing a girl to take a decision about me based on how I look and how I approached her, the value of which pales in comparison to what she'll discover about me if we talk for a little while.

[-] sorry_mommy 3 Points 3 months ago

I disagree on the point that a direct approach forces her to make a decision based on your looks. A direct approach, to the girl, is all about her. Someone has popped into HER life and complimented HER looks or otherwise expressed desire in HER. Her reaction is entirely based on how this makes her feel. Naturally she will feel good about this if you are at least attractive, and bad about it if you are very ugly, but she is not taking the moment to judge you or even consider you as a prospect. She's only judging how she's suddenly feeling - and, if you've approached in a good way, regardless of your looks or even what you're wearing, she will feel good and thus respond positively.

[-] [deleted] 2 Points 3 months ago

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[-] WhiteKoala__ 6 Points 3 months ago

Jesus Christ you’re overthinking this. IMO direct approach with a push pull is probably the best and most simple open there is which makes it very useful to beginners.

[-] NotMyBestEffort 2 Points 3 months ago

so you are asking, "this works, are your going to keep using it?" ?.

[-] kenpachitz 1 Point 3 months ago

#metoo isn't a concern in all corners of the planet.

I'm asking "All things equal, what should I try?"

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[-] [deleted] 6 Points 3 months ago

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[-] FKaroundNfindOUT 1 Point 3 months ago

What about reputation damage if you're in a city and go around the same places?

Reputation damage? For having conversations? You aren't pulling up her skirt here...

You can and should go a lot of places but at your regular spots the reputation you'll build is one of a confident man who talks to attractive women.... you. Don't. Want. That! ^^^^^^^^^/s

[-] [deleted] 2 Points 3 months ago

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[-] FKaroundNfindOUT 1 Point 3 months ago

Frequent the same coffee shop, talk to every attractive girl there, get rejected once and it becomes known...

So? There's no need for shame. You could literally ask "will you have sex with me" to each and every one of those women and that's just fine. You're both adults. If they say no, ok.

Don't people always say don't shit where you eat?

They do say that. Usually about work because plates eventually fall and hell really doesn't have any fury like a woman scorned.

Easy solution, go elsewhere.

[-] [deleted] 1 Point 3 months ago

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[-] FKaroundNfindOUT 1 Point 3 months ago

I guess there's no hope for you then. Cheers.

[-] [deleted] 1 Point 3 months ago

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[-] FKaroundNfindOUT 1 Point 3 months ago

That's almost as hard as online dating in my experience. The only way it has worked (and worked in several distinct instances) was some drastic change like getting in much better shape.

[-] saveTheFirstWorld 2 Points 3 months ago

Do you do this in quiet and crowded situations? Sometimes I'll see a cute chick and it will be so quiet that everyone can hear us talk and she doesn't respond well because she feels like people will judge her

[-] NorthOC 2 Points 3 months ago

Can you expand on "You voice your interest after she voiced her"?

[-] Auvergnat 11 Points 3 months ago

I should have said “you show your interest after she showed hers”. It means you wait till you have signs of her interest in you (she’s invested in the convo; she asks you questions about you or your past; really just about anything that’s the contrary of her trying to cut the conversation short) before you give any sign of your interest in her (compliments; ask her for her #).

[-] Andgelyo 16 Points 3 months ago

This happened to me while I was in Texas. I’m from New Jersey and New York metro area and told two cashier girls I’m not from around here. Immediately got IOIs and keep convo going about cake boss in Hoboken. Eventually asked for one of their numbers but didn’t succeed because I was a bit nervous. Laughed it off with my friends and walked right out lmao. All in all I was just having fun which I think is key in most approaches.

[-] MisterMarbles1988 1 Point 3 months ago

I'm from your area too and currently live far away from there. So I ham up the accent a little bit to bait them to ask where I'm from.

[-] ExDota2Player 1 Point 3 months ago

if you're younger it's even easier than that, you can go for a number straight away

[-] axxxman 76 Points 3 months ago

We live in world where the dominant razor manufacturer describes cold approaches as "Not cool, man. Not cool".

They're part of the shit test.

[-] Flying_Wingback 11 Points 3 months ago

Dude, I’m actually glad they made that ad. I went out and bought a a safety razor and it shaves much closer and I got more precision on lineups as well

[-] golden_juicebox 5 Points 3 months ago

everytime i'm reminded of this it makes me genuinely sad because it just shows the way in which we are headed as a species :(

[-] FKaroundNfindOUT 3 Points 3 months ago

Not really.

Bad things happen.

Strong men will be needed when bad things happen.

A weak man will either die or become a strong man when bad things happen.

We have the privilege of living in relatively easy times with all the access to knowledge of life of an old man and we just need the wisdom and practice to use it.

Imagine having to fight and possibly kill your peers for the right to fuck.

This shit is easy.

[-] lukesterboi1 1 Point 2 months ago

A woman (feminazi of course) directed that commercial. It is a shit test indeed.

[-] huggyblossom 74 Points 3 months ago

Because woman have hundreds of online validations everyday, but as we all know nothing beats the live show where she sees you whole in person.

[-] [deleted] 74 Points 3 months ago

It's getting 'sad out there' because men are getting accused left and right of sexual harassment and rape. I get life is a risk but cold approaches are literal Russian roulette.

Back in the PUA days all we had to worry about was social anxiety. Now the climate is different. Women are encouraged to be a victim.

Doesn't mean you should give up but perhaps a man must be smart about it.

[-] [deleted] 40 Points 3 months ago

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[-] [deleted] 11 Points 3 months ago

It definitely happens over here in the UK. I've seen a fellow PUA get arrested in Glasgow for merely approaching a woman. It's rather sad. But such PUA apologised 'for making the woman feel uncomfortable'. And thus automatically made himself guilty by falling into her false narrative. No, you must go scorched earth and tell them to fuck off.

It's sad that women are falling for this obvious social engineering. They are being led as a whole by the nasty bastards to believe they are simultaneously strong and yet also victims of 'toxic masculinity'. Forced a narrative that a man merely approaching them could signal being 'abused'.

And partly you're right. I mean, what can a man do? Go MGTOW and stay away from women which only serves to spite one's biological imperative? Meanwhile most of the world happily goes on and men and women talk to each other all day long. I believe there's 2 factors when it comes to men tackling this new victimised climate. One, is to screen. Much like the sith, feminists SJWs and generally mentally ill women tend to wear their hatred for men on their face. It can be rather easy to spot. Avoid them like the plague. Also, no kino PUA shit from the get-go, unless you're absolutely certain that she's not into victimhood.

The second one only applies if you happen to find yourself in a position where you've been accused of harassment for merely approaching. You must go literal scorched earth. You must never apologise or take on their narrative as truth. First way a malignant narcissist will try and claim victimhood is through public outcry. Scorched earth is the literal only way to deal with this attempt of character assassination.

Of course you must also realise that false accusations whilst they are becoming the norm, are happening for a specific reason. To destroy powerful men and bring them to their knees. Men who should be going scorched earth instead of apologising and adhering to the false narrative. They should be literally taking the women to court for slander/libel.

As a MGTOW I would have said just go your own way. But I realise that's just giving more power to the victimhood narrative that feminists are trying to use to destroy men. It breathes fear into a boogeyman and makes it a reality. Because they see men avoiding women in fear of false accusations. And what does it do? Gives them a weapon. Makes them feel powerful. Yes the law is on their side but you have to realise that false accusations lack any evidence. So your willingness to take it all the way to court and to counter-sue them for libel/slander will usually disempower it. But most of all what disempowers it is your ability to not be afraid of their victimhood in fear of being arrested. That they literally have no power over you.

That's my thoughts anyways.

[-] AloofusMaximus 3 Points 3 months ago

I think that's a bit of an extreme example though. Is it possible in some places, absolutely not going to argue with that . I think in most situations though it's far from unlikely (unless some dude is hanging around trying to pick up every woman in the vicinity).

A lot of people around here seem to have the sky is falling mentality with the SJW/left. I work in a pretty heavily coddled field and never experienced it. While I have seen guys get in trouble for harassment, it's basically because they're socially retarded.

[-] Fine_Cut 2 Points 3 months ago

Could be both cases. There seems to be an incentive to play the 'sexually harassed victim' to gain feminist street cred or something like that some times.

[-] Zech4riah 1 Point 3 months ago

It definitely happens over here in the UK. I've seen a fellow PUA get arrested in Glasgow for merely approaching a woman.

Well that fella has some serious calibration issues.

[-] [deleted] 1 Point 3 months ago

I would say women have some serious victimhood issues perpetuated by the feminist agenda. It's still playing Russian Roulette. But on the flipside it's what they want. They want men to fear approaching women. They want men to give up and go MGTOW. After all, it's why no one is coming after MGTOW.

A PUA would say "Oh it's just calibration issues" But that's literally putting your head in the sand in this victimhood climate. Let's not pretend men aren't getting falsely accused of sexual harassment for merely approaching a woman because it's happening.

This is just the beginning: http://archive.fo/dItEt

[-] Zech4riah 1 Point 3 months ago

I'm pretty sure that getting arrested because of saying hi to a woman in a day light is significantly less likely than getting into a car accident so be careful while driving.

And I fixed this for you:

They want men betas to fear approaching women. They want men betas to give up and go MGTOW.

[-] AlfredKinsey 1 Point 3 months ago

"literal scorched earth" will get you arrested for arson before some playful kino on the right setting will get you arrested for harassment.

[-] chazthundergut 6 Points 3 months ago

"cold approaches are literal Russian roulette"

What is this gibberish?

I've cold approached plenty of women. Never had an issue with false accusations. Even when I am rejected (which has happened plenty of times) women are not running to the police screaming rape just because I teased her and asked her out for a drink.

Y'all need to unplug and get out there. Stop being so afraid of females.

Just act normal and don't start out by grabbing her ass. You'll be fine I promise

[-] [deleted] 3 Points 3 months ago

Depends where you do this to be honest. UK it's literally become a crime for men to cold approach women on the basis if you make her feel uncomfortable or not. I shit you not. I even asked a police officer to elaborate why it's illegal for a man to go up to a woman in broad daylight and chat her up. "It's an hate crime. It's misogyny under the new laws. If she feels uncomfortable she has every right to report you to us."

It's okay to brush it off but let's not pretend in this victimhood climate that it doesn't happen. You have to be smart about it.

women are not running to the police screaming rape just because I teased her and asked her out for a drink.

Well their first tactic is to try to destroy you through public outcry. But it certainly does get reported to the police. More so they are calling it sexual harassment. There's an entire FB Group dedicated to falsely accused men sharing their same experiences. One lad in Newcastle merely approached a girl in a bar. Went up to her. "YOU'RE HARASSING ME!" Got slung out the bar and it got reported to the police. Of course thanks to CCTV he got exonerated. Because false accusations fall through due to their lack of evidence. I also watched a friend who was a PUA coach land into hot bother doing the same thing.

This has been MGTOWs issue with the red pill. It entirely ignores this aspect. Now the latest iteration of MGTOWs are keeping their head in the sand. And they don't have the solution. They would rather not play. What is much better is to be smart about approaching. That can be fairly easy by observation. For example, I might like alternative girls but I'm not going to go up to a woman with blue hair and piercings because its most likely she's a fucking feminist.

I believe it's practically a copycat of #MeToo the women are preaching victimhood whilst claiming to be empowered women.

But you're right it's not too common. Men happily approach women all day long. And what should a man do? Just stay at home and 'go his own way'? Just be smart about it. It's fairly easy to tell which women are absolutely batshit insane. But the Red Pill needs to come up with more strategies on how to deal with this victimhood climate if the men ever do land in hot bother. In my opinion. You go scorched earth. You don't apologise or fall into their narrative. False accusations lack evidence and so the truth will set you free. And of course you can't go around thinking every woman is going to falsely accuse you.

[-] chazthundergut 1 Point 3 months ago

Of course there is always a certain amount of risk.

But look at the risk we expect females to tolerate.

Just like there are horror stories about men approaching a woman and getting charged with harrassment, there are horror stories of women actually being raped.

What do we say to women who avoid all men because they are afraid of being raped?

[-] alt_account_6 3 Points 3 months ago

Not so. You don’t get ostracized merely for making conversation. Allegations come from, as has been said, taking home someone who’s drunk or one-on-one conversations at work, or a number of other things.

Approaching is not harassment unless you’re at work or something obviously. Or persistent. You have to be able to read when something’s gone sour. And it’s spelled out plain as day in body language.

[-] [deleted] 2 Points 3 months ago

And you're right of course. This was where MGTOW went wrong. You can't blanket judge all women as mentally ill retards trying to destroy you and bring you to your knees.

If you keep reading the horror stories. You'll feel that way for sure.

Still a man has to be very careful in this victimised climate. Because pursuing women can be like Russian roulette. It's absolutely imperative going forward that men should at least make smart judgement. Mentally ill women are very easy to spot from a conversation.

It's why we have The Red Pill. This comes to mind.

What are you trying to tell me? That I can dodge bullets? Morpheus: No, Neo. I'm trying to tell you that when you're ready, you won't have to.

[-] Tenth_10 31 Points 3 months ago

" How ironic that the use of "social media" has made us less social. "
Our decade's cancer. This gets me really worried for my kids' future... how low this will go ?

[-] DarkSyde3000 17 Points 3 months ago

Well, when you have them, make sure you keep them off that garbage. There's a reason Zuckerpuss has no intention on letting his devil spawns even use it for long periods of time, if at all.

[-] Tenth_10 3 Points 3 months ago

Well, actually, they are already here and they're 5. Only five years before they start to feel pressured to be "online social".

[-] DarkSyde3000 7 Points 3 months ago

Just tell them that socializing on those social media platforms are for dorks and that being cool only matters in person. Sitting around on your phone doesn't make you awesome, it makes you socially awkward and in my opinion inhibits social development on a huge scale.

[-] DrMrJrSr 7 Points 3 months ago

Who's social influence will win out though? Two well-meaning parents who may be considered "uncool" to the average teenager, or a group of their peers pressuring them to insta-snap-book and throw caution and critical thinking to the wind?

You'd have to be constantly drilling your kids to see those behaviors for what they are, and to not fight the urge, but to accept it for what it is and let them decide what they want to do.

[-] DarkSyde3000 5 Points 3 months ago

Good questions and I'm not a parent by design. All I can tell you is that there's proven harmful effects of kids using all that garbage and it's evident in society today. So much so that the creators of those platforms don't even let their own kids use it because they know what it does. How you and your own family handle that aspect of it is something you'll have to figure out for yourselves, my friend. And I wish you the best of luck with that.

[-] FKaroundNfindOUT 2 Points 3 months ago

Your number one job is to keep them from serious harm as they try and fail on their own. Your number two job is to teach them to think critically about EVERYTHING. Number two is actually the same as number one but most people don't consider children learning from the classic 'hot stove' example to be critical thinking.

You literally can't protect them from everything at all times. Instead, actively teach them to seek out all the information available on a subject, analyse that information and come to a reasonable solution based on what they have already reasoned to be true in other instances.

If a child has the knowledge and understanding that some fun things have little long term value or may even be bad for them and has learned the habit of the analysis described above, when they see cancerous things they won't accept them into their reality as fact. The negatives they experience won't be misattributed.

Doing this will test you worse than no sleep through infancy did. To sharpen tiny sharp minds your mind will have to be sharp and present all the time.

Until about 7 your kids will be coding everything they see you do into their brains as the way things are. After 7 they start asking questions, get them started then send their minds searching for the answers. Once they have given a solid effort, either correct their result or your own and tie the conclusion into their reality.

[-] [deleted] 31 Points 3 months ago

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[-] Vikingcel 32 Points 3 months ago

Same with how not being fat makes you above average.

[-] shamorunner 11 Points 3 months ago

Noice, keep it that way. So many places are getting further from this with the over all population for guys and girls, and the guys, in addition to societal changes, are driving themselves further and further away

​

[-] Andgelyo 9 Points 3 months ago

New York? Everyone here seems like the exact opposite of the betas I read about here

[-] RLazerbeam 7 Points 3 months ago

Visited NY for 5 days, living in Germany; can confirm. Even the driving style is more dominant

[-] Your_Coke_Dealer 2 Points 3 months ago

We’re all assholes around here. But especially in traffic

[-] RLazerbeam 1 Point 3 months ago

Y'all are fcking real tho, way more fake ppl in Germany imo

[-] Your_Coke_Dealer 1 Point 3 months ago

There’s plenty of posers in the US, and we elect way too many of them to public office, but plenty of us do say it like it is

[-] golden_juicebox 4 Points 3 months ago

Perhaps the cause of that is the forced interaction due to the dense population

[-] Andgelyo 3 Points 3 months ago

Definitely plays a part, most of my friend have no problems talking to strangers

[-] golden_juicebox 5 Points 3 months ago

Yeah I go to a college in New York State, and a lot of the friends I’ve made are from the city, and I’ve noticed that whether they were a high or low value guy, they were both pretty similar in their ability to strike up conversation with people.

[-] gbnz87 22 Points 3 months ago

> The saying here is that once you approach a girl you're already top 10%, I'd put that number the fuck down after what I've experienced with a bud of mine.

​

I would put it up from my experience. Whenever I go out its always more men then women everywhere and whenever I go out to a bar to approach I usually get one girl who starts getting frustrated that theyve not been left alone all night and are sick of getting approached. As a total of society there are plenty of people that live at home and do nothing that bring that percentage down but out of the people out there id say its way more common for men to approach.

​

Also women dont like to hear it but they often make themselves really difficult to approach. For example sitting in a corner reading a book or with headphones on or when they are out with friends they sit close together in deep conversation or they go out with a cockblocking friend (either shes the jealous type or shes married) They also give some really awful signals to men and its no wonder they dont pick up on them.

​

Cold approach is a really hard thing to do as you need really thick skin. As you begin you will be nervous and of course a lot of women will get "creeped" out by that. Some girls are really nasty when they reject you others are quite gentle. If your first few nervous approaches are met with some terrible responses its easy to put approach into the too hard basket like I did for several years. Looking back at it the the bad rejections are the best things you can get as you know its not worth spending any more time with them, you can just leave immediately and move on to a more receptive woman. The worst that can happen is that they try poke you in the eyes or they start yelling swear words at you for saying hello (ive had both) They are just terrible human beings that no one would want anything to do with.

[-] witchcoin 25 Points 3 months ago

In a bar, of course she’s sick of getting approached. That’s because she’s being approached endlessly by drunk guys who need alcohol to disguise their lack of confidence with women.

Approach outside of these typical ‘social places’ (bars, clubs) and you will stand out.

[-] the-dan-man 11 Points 3 months ago

What made you go back to cold approaching exactly? A break-up?

For me, i just don't see the appeal anymore, until i get really desperate. There are so many other things in life to focus on. Sure, it can be exciting and a challenge, and maybe MAYBE you might meet some slightly interesting women, but these days i am more of the opinion that young attractive women are pretty much all identical in their thoughts. So it makes it really hard for me to connect with them on some level, but that might be because i am a very logical and unemotional guy, unless i force myself to be otherwise.

The thing that gets me is, women are great, but as you say, they do not make things easy at all. They expect everything handed to them on a silver platter. They are already spoiled and needy, and approaching them is not going to change that. So why jump through all the hoops and the tests, for a brief fleeting sexual relationship at the end? I could only really do all that now, if i had the rest of my life figured out, and had done all the things i want to do.

[-] gbnz87 10 Points 3 months ago

I went through that stage in my mid 20s. I am very similar in that I'm logical and unemotional. I've recently been working on that and it's really helped me connect with more people.

When I was getting close to 30 and friends are getting married and starting families it left me with a lot of weekends with not alot to do. I also work for myself so I don't get to socialise a lot during the week and have a small social circle being an ISFJ. I just got frustrated with online dating and doing speed dating and such as the majority of women are doing those things because they don't have any other options. I just ended up going out and doing my own thing as life was passing me by.

There are good women out there only if you are willing to find them. Where they are I don't know but you will never know until you ask them.

[-] the-dan-man 3 Points 3 months ago

Sounds similar to me. Not many friends due to my work life and similar personality.

I think you would be happier finding a sport or community event/project to contribute on, using your time and money on that will be more fulfilling over time and more meaningful. That is what i intend to do, if and when i have the time and money. Cultivating male friendships and a social circle by doing these things, i would say, will make you happier. And what is more, by doing this, you will meet women along the way, by accident, whilst you are enjoying life.

Sure, meeting women in the street is great, and there could be some good ones, but i think it is just a band aid, finding someone for temporary satisfaction and sexual pleasure, to appease that gaping lonely hole in ourselves, which is from our alienation and disconnection from a normal functioning community based society.

[-] gbnz87 1 Point 3 months ago

I certainly do my own hobbies which I really enjoy and have made a few friends and acquaintances through them. I still think there is no harm in meeting women in the street as well. It may be temporary or it could be long term, unfortunately I wont know until I begin to talk to them. I do enjoy talking to receptive women and getting to know them.

​

There is no harm in doing both at the same time. If you see a nice girl at the shopping centre when you go out to get groceries there is no harm in talking to her. Socialising for me is like a muscle that I have to train, if I am to eventually meet someone im highly attracted to I want to be the best I can be in that moment and not be a bumbling mess.

​

In my experience (although I wasnt pursuing hobbies where id be social for a few years) I didnt get to meet or get introduced to many people who are friends of friends. Dont rely on other people mixing their social circles to meet people, I think you need to bring yourself to action to do it.

[-] Joxton 3 Points 3 months ago

Your second paragraph exactly describes girls in my area. I shit you not, girls do not wanna be spoken to, let alone me working the anxiety away to talk to one. I also have low self esteem so none of it adds up. The whole difficulty of this has caused me to actually turn my head again and completely focus on my own hobbies and personal life.

[-] Andgelyo 2 Points 3 months ago

Because you went to a bar. Context is a HUGE factor. A girl who scanning groceries all day and is bored out of her mind will probably be much more receptive than a bar slut. This is why Day game is “better” than night game.

[-] _MysticFox 1 Point 3 months ago

Also reputation damage if you're in a city and go around the same places

[-] jaeger123 1 Point 3 months ago

Are these women who go out and are so often approached at I'm bars and such places. Are they specifically tired of being approached in general or is it just "Not tonight, too many guys approaching tonight otherwise any other place any other time I'd be fine"

[-] FKaroundNfindOUT 1 Point 3 months ago

They are tired of being approached by those they deem unworthy.

[-] jaeger123 1 Point 3 months ago

Well only one way to find out if you're worthy or not. Approach

[-] [deleted] 3 months ago
[-] [deleted] 21 Points 3 months ago

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[-] think_9090909 4 Points 3 months ago

Does your gf go to a lot of bars?

[-] [deleted] 3 months ago
[-] PolarAutomata 18 Points 3 months ago

With all the bullshit I read about sexual harassment, I don't even care anymore. I am losing all desire to even associate with women anymore.

[-] golden_juicebox 3 Points 3 months ago

it's so fucking frustrating that it's slowly becoming "weird" if you try to talk to another person outside of a club or party

[-] Ihatemoi 1 Point 3 months ago

damn it is very hard to talk in a party, the music is so damn loud that keeping a normal conversation is shit. In a bar, girls are seated with their friends in specific tables, just how are you supposed to go out your way and approach a group of girls in a table talking and minding their own business. Unless you are fucking Cristiano Ronaldo, Brad Pitt I dont know.

[-] [deleted] 17 Points 3 months ago

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[-] PS2Errol 13 Points 3 months ago

This is true. Nations like the US/UK have 50%+ levels for female obesity. So that narrows the selction pool by 50% to begin with. Then you remove anyone much over 30 etc etc. Eventually you are left with a tiny quantity of attractive, young women who you might want to approach (the boner test is all that matters).

[-] zeeshans14 -2 Point 3 months ago

whats the boner test?

​

[-] ahackercalled4chan 7 Points 3 months ago

if she makes your balls tingle, she's hot enough to approach.

Jesus Christ is it really so hard to understand?!

[-] Atheist_Utopia 6 Points 3 months ago

The rest just sit at home playing their Tinder game ????

[-] digitalEarthling 1 Point 3 months ago

Agreed. Driving through a University campus recently. Lots of students around. Not many attractive females. Not many at all.

[-] shamorunner 16 Points 3 months ago

The sad state of humanity, especially the future is looking grim. For a vast majority of the upcoming generations through college and younger, they're trained to sit in line, get the tar beat outta them for asking the wrong question, and slammed for having a unique idea. Technology is woven into everything, but basic face to face interactions are presented on a level of public speaking or sit there and listen. People freak out when they don't have their phone, not because they're afraid of missing something but the fear of having to something without technology petrifies them more than missing some thing in the digital world. Cold approaches are basic: go up to someone and start with something basic and work up to a convo or move on. Either way, you flipped a switch on that person, as they're were moving through their glim glum daily life and were expecting you. At my college of 7-8k, I can walk around all of campus and I can count on one hand how people I didn't beat me to the punch of flipping my switch instead of me flipping theirs throughout my three years here so far. Something as basic as saying "Hi" or "How's your day going?" now catch people off guard, cause them to blush and act bashful, freeze up and stutter, or their eyes flash in panic and they keep walking but now with a sudden panic of social interaction with someone they don't know. People that know me ask me how I knew the person I just had a full conversation with, and nearly every time is someone I've never seen in my life and I started a convo to see if they'd merely respond and then suddenly we're solving the worlds problems. When it comes to females, they're eyes suddenly light up because I'm the first person outside of their close circle to see how they're doing, let alone hold eye contact instead of walking the other direction in fright. The basic idea of talking to some gal you don't know is so foreign to many guys that they have trouble talking to females in their own friend group and tend to struggle greatly with even talking to a dude they don't know. So many sit there with their earbuds in, head down, staring at their phone, or flat out walk in the opposite direction just to avoid face to face interaction. The basic social interaction is as far gone to many as that of fighting with sword and shield. For the people that actually cold approach and flip switches, it's wicked fun and those with preffering their phone over legit human interaction are living in a blue pill world that covers them from what will change their life.

[-] PurpleSweetz 41 Points 3 months ago

Do you know how to break up large walls of texts into paragraphs?

[-] [deleted] 3 months ago
[-] DrMrJrSr 0 Points 3 months ago

True, this could have been better formatted, but let's focus on the subject at hand.

[-] golden_juicebox 3 Points 3 months ago

As someone who also goes to college and took the pill during high school, it boggles my mind too.

When I started my first semester, I didn't know anyone so, as one would be expected to do in a perfect world, I went to the student union and found random people sitting by themselves, introduced myself, and had full conversations while we enjoyed our food. Then afterwards, depending on how it went, i might grab their info before heading out.

The look on their faces told it all: they have never had that happen to them before, or at least, not in a very long time.

[-] the-dan-man 2 Points 3 months ago

That is a college campus though, a whole different environment to anywhere else. Anyone can talk to girls there with a bit of courage, those girls are easy going and mostly don't have anything to lose, nor the stresses of the working world. And, people are not talking to each other as much as you say, because they don't necessarily have the need to anymore, they have their TV and porn and workloads as more than adequate distractions. If it were otherwise, they would be talking to each other. Women are shocked and surprised to be spoken to by strangers not because it is unusual and you are the better man for doing it, but because it is not the norm now, because people have different concerns and more distractions these days.

[-] maroonblood94 16 Points 3 months ago

“When looking at the men of today with this in mind, those who could be thought to have women’s pulse are many indeed, and those who seem like real men few indeed. Because of this, if one were to make a little effort, he would be able to take the upper hand quite easily.” -Hagakure, Book of Samurai

Amazing that simply approaching a woman these days can put a man in the top percentage by making a little effort.

[-] VisiblePlan 11 Points 3 months ago

I needed this, got to get back out there, get back in the gym, and start making 2019 my year. Thanks my man.

[-] [deleted] 3 months ago
[-] the-dan-man 10 Points 3 months ago

People are tired, and they are stressed. They don't want to have conversations on the bus or train, they want to get to work and get home and relax.

​

And why talk to these broads on the bus anyway? What makes you think they will be interesting? This is the main factor for me, when i used to do cold approaches a couple years ago, it was fun at first and exciting, but the novelty wore off. And after some experience, and many more interactions with women cold approach and not, i just got bored. These women are NOT interesting. Maybe 1 in 100 will have something unique to say as opposed to just mimic the required responses regurgitate the same phrases, pop culture references and same old shit.

At the end of the day, it comes down to how desperate you are to get laid. That desperation drives guys to do oddball things, and it always will. Now i kind of see that desperation as sad and needy. Talking to new girls at parties and other events is a piece of piss for me, and i can do it, but ironically i just don't get that excited by it or seek the opportunity for such events out.

[-] Razkolol 6 Points 3 months ago

This. Most people are so one-dimensional, it’s boring, their set of values and opinions are based on what’s portrayed in the media, or on what some of their friends told them once, no research on any topic, no passion for anything, in an era where you can literally tell your phone “google, what’s x,y,z?”. When you cold approach a girl in the street the chance of her not being dull is prob something under 10%. Sure you can secure a number and eventually fuck her, but is fucking her worth spending hours having the most dumb conversations ever? Personally I use social media/dating apps because I can test the waters to determine if it’s worth my time to meet them in person.

[-] atticusfinch1973 8 Points 3 months ago

For those guys who are nervous about this stuff, start easier.

One strategy I used at the beginning is just to hit the mall and go shopping - not to buy anything. When you're in stores just talk to clerks and people and ask questions. Men or women. Once you feel comfortable do it with a couple of hot girls as if you're a customer. Get used to just striking up conversations with anyone and everyone.

People don't know how to have conversations any more.

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[-] clon3man 6 Points 3 months ago

I always remembered as kid I was shocked at how people keep to themselves on public transit. Same thing for wal-mart and other busy places. It's a bad habit that we all just learned even before social media and computers. Maybe it's something that's more common in large cities that have a melting pot of difference cultures and language barriers.

I think that a lot of the isolation we experience stems from that - the default mode to ignore people you encounter unless you're in a tiny room with them with very few people.

​

[-] Thinkingard 4 Points 3 months ago

It’s a natural fear of the unknown and unpredictable behavior. It’s less risk to talk to no one and do nothing that sets someone off. Put yourself in a girls shoes or watch another guy try to cold approach and see if you can feel anything creepy about the interaction. Like a good salesman you have to be charming and disarm peoples instinctive no reaction and turtling up.

[-] goldaxis 1 Point 3 months ago

I want to say it started in the 90’s. It was a big thing for every parent to teach kids not to talk to strangers, because our society was in the early stages of crumbling. Social media just took that problem and put it on steroids. Forget having a conversation. People aren’t even fully literate now.

[-] DarkSyde3000 5 Points 3 months ago

This is by far the easiest time to set up your social calendars with women. It's NEVER been this easy, except maybe after WWII in Russia where the population of women outnumbered men more than 2 to 1 due to massive casualties. Take a good look next time you're out somewhere and look at all the effeminate males walking around. As long as you don't look like a homeless bum with zero personal hygiene you should be pulling some impressive numbers these days without much issue. The television says women are all for this girl power bullshit going on right now, along with the #metoo nonsense. They're not. As many have already said, they crave attention so give them some and prosper. ;)

[-] panconquesofrito 5 Points 3 months ago

Cold approaches can be pretty f* awful too. I walk through the world like women do not exist. I interact with them in natural settings like my dance classes and in my social circles, house parties. However, in the grocery store or whatever, hell nah! They are all yours lol

[-] WaspOnAWall 5 Points 3 months ago

Here's the thing though, the approach was only half-right, or he wouldn't have gotten rejected at first. Direct approach doesn't work so well, because it's too obvious and at the instant T of approaching, the girl is most likely not interested in you yet unless you have obvious value like good looks and status, so she'll reject you based on her current opinion. That's why you want to take an indirect approach, as much as possible. For instance, in a public transport, you situate yourself close by, then you put on a little act where you ask her for directions. Or you compliment her shoes and ask her where she got them, because you're looking for something similar as a gift. Or whatever else bullshit excuse you can think of that's reasonable in that situation. Then you intersperse a bit of small talk with a bit of seduction, and you see where this leads you. Not every interaction will be fruitful, but at least it's more likely to be pleasant and feel natural for both parties involved.

[-] ZachMeadows 1 Point 3 months ago

This, I usually tell a joke with chicks that have gym bags => "Oh, so you're also pretending to go to gym ?"

After that it's just casual conversation skills.

[-] eluethero 3 Points 3 months ago

You are damn right. It is got to a point that some girls will make you feel like "pervert" by just randomly approaching them and starting a natural process. I do not get it, do we really need to go some place which you can hardly hear yourself and get drunk then only if you are on a lucky day you can get something or in some cases you need dance like a maniac whole night in order to get it. It is a shame all dating/game thing has become like this.

[-] TRP8myfeels 3 Points 3 months ago

People everywhere are missing good strong genuine connections. It doesn't take anything more than aggressive friendliness and a constant approach to people you are attracted to, to build a community around you that thrives.

So few people are doing it that it instantly makes you stand out as the alpha male if you aren't a total fucking autist. Even if you are socially idiotic, it still garners you a ton of social proof as long as you have something of value to offer those that you are approaching.

The best part about that is by approaching more and more people, you naturally pick up all sorts of contacts. Someone needs a home wired up for sound throughout and in the back yard? You know a guy.

​

Roof leaking? You know a guy. Lawnwork? Pool work? Professional lifter? Crossfitness tips? You fucking know people.

​

Go out and engage with people everywhere that you go. Be social about your interests and bam. You are the hub of something bigger.

[-] empatheticapathetic 3 Points 3 months ago

I’ve unsubbed from MGTOW and other ‘men’s’ forums that focus exclusively on the horror of feminism due to the fear and disgust it’s been causing in myself. These feelings result in being less social, more pessimistic and more angry/sad. There is a balance to uphold as it’s important we understand and acknowledge the risks out there but here the balance was tipped as to cause inaction and apathy. Working on changing this negative mindset I’ve cultivated.

[-] THEdirtyDotterFUCKr 3 Points 3 months ago

I see this, glued to your phone ignoring everything around you. The worst is concerts, tiny white squares distracting me from the show. But that is a rant for another day.

In my age group, I see it more of keeping tabs on their kids, or females searching sending and replying with memes. I have a female acquaintance who for the past 3 years (according to her) has not sent a single txt or made a call to another friend. They simply send each other memes to describe their day or what they are feeling. I have an aunt in Latin America that sends me memes every morning like clockwork about having a glorious day... OK so my rant was not over.

at any rate, OP has a point, you put yourself in the highest percentile by simply talking to someone you do not know. You will very likely still strike out but if you keep at it, eventually you are going to get your dick wet.

[-] TheRealBrotherLouie 2 Points 3 months ago

Thank God I grew up in a village. No matter if you know the person or not, you live in the same place and you're gonna salute and talk to each other. If you pretend you're just in a bigger village, and you know that talking to people is the most normal thing ever, go talk to them . We are a community, or , as Constanza says, WE LIVE IN A SOCIETY

[-] WarriorMonkMode 2 Points 3 months ago

Technology and social media is not a substitute for physical human interaction, at least not yet.

A man who can cold approach without the crutch of social media is a one-eyed man in the land of the blind.

[-] tchower 2 Points 3 months ago

I always wonder what to do when she tells me she has a boyfriend, if I should proceed or move on these days. Either she tells me or I find out via social media. I’ve definitely fucked girls with boyfriends and fucked girls in relationships, but so many girls I approach that are eyeing me are taken or in some type of relationship.

[-] [deleted] 3 months ago
[-] PS2Errol 2 Points 3 months ago

Very good post from the OP. Very good indeed.

[-] Infla-mood 1 Point 3 months ago

This also applies to men, older women, anyone really. Developing the ability to look people in the eye and engage with them on a personal level. The more old ladies you chat to in line, the more experience you gain for approaching girls.

[-] RevolutionaryPea7 1 Point 3 months ago

I've actually got numbers from cold approach before, but I've got zero lays. Maybe my text game isn't strong, but I try not to waste any time at all texting. What I lack when I cold approach is pre-selection. Without that I'm just not good enough. But I consistently get laid through other means when my pre-selection is strong.

[-] Lubomir1994 1 Point 3 months ago

Bullshit.

​

I have approached more than 100 girls. Absolutely 0 success. They didn't even want to talk to me. In clubs, on the street, in bars. I was confident, in the zone, whatever, but immediately they would be turned off because I am a stranger. I am also white and 6'1" (but apparently not good looking enough to beat Chad on her Tinder app).

​

Cold approaching is associated with weirdos or trashy construction workers. But yeah, if you are very attractive to begin with, cold approach might work occasionally, but Tinder would give way better results.

[-] [deleted] 3 months ago
[-] LightofFate 1 Point 2 months ago

Yeah, It sucks. Anxiety is a thing. It's the reason I can't approach women regularly, I only do it when in a good mood and the girl is on her own, usually. I just can't be asked with groups.

I have no anxiety in nightclubs though, it's so easy in comparison.

[-] neso225 1 Point 3 months ago

You are right, when i ride transport the only people that are total strangers and comunicate are elderly people

[-] [deleted] 3 months ago
[-] Zech4riah 1 Point 3 months ago

I think this "if you approach you are top 10% man" is pretty much same kind of mental masturbation than "She left/rejected you because you are too high value".

[-] VickVaseline 1 Point 3 months ago

Social media is the exact opposite of genuine human relationships.

[-] soadaa 1 Point 3 months ago

Still been struggling to make progress in the cold approaches. I have made a few approaches (which used to be zero) and gotten two numbers, but I wait for perfect moments or make excuses. I equate it to when first going to the gym you can be nervous or self conscious, hell I struggled to bench the bar my first day. You just have to be consistent to make progress.

I also know it's all in my head. I'm not a knockout, but I should easily be smashing consistently if I just got out of my head and worked that social muscle. Meeting girls online doesnt bother me in the least and I feel suave at times. Someone I havent spoken to? I'm 17 again and my mind blanks.

[-] [deleted] 3 months ago