The Red Pill: Discussion of sexual strategy in a culture increasingly lacking a positive identity for men.
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Posted 5y ago in Red Pill Theory - Permalink - Locked - 84 Views
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[deleted] 5y ago
For me personally, the author invoked the "your parents are always worthy of respect" trope so adored by religious fundamentalists. I still choose to have a relationship with my hyper-religious narcissist parents, but with my eyes wide open. Understanding that we as humans are often deeply flawed, my main priority with them is to set rock hard boundaries, and recognize when they are attempting to mind-fuck me. I recognize that statistically, I'm better off growing up in a two parent home. But it's not all rainbows and unicorns like the author seems to imply.
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bjcm5891 5y ago
Great share.
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My step-father is the only father I've known, and I definitely relate to seeing him differently as I grew up. It was especially hard for me to respect him in my teenage years, because I was always thinking of how he would only see me as a non-negotiable part of the deal if he wanted to get next to my mother. I imagined he must resent me on some level, because putting myself in his situation I knew I'd pick an alternate universe where it was just my mother with no kid. I never felt as if I wanted to be like him when I grew up...
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But as I got older and became more aware of the pressures of adulthood (and of manhood) I came to develop an appreciation of him- not just for the fact he took me on board and spent so much time with me over the years, but I also came to see him as a man with integrity. I'm now in my 30's and very much my own person- but I can respect him for who he is and the values he has, in spite of the challenges along the way.
rpsheepdog 5y ago
That was a great read. Spot on. My parents were divorced and my mom tried her hardest to just slander my dad and really paint him in a bad light. Luckily for him and I, he always stayed in touch and religiously picked me up on his weekends.
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Gavin McInnes had a quote about fatherhood from his dad:
You can be friends with your kids when they are young or old, not both
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It was a commentary about how fathers who want to be "bros" with their young kids never establish the correct identity for them and the kids grow up mal-adjusted
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smokecheck1976 5y ago
You have to be clear that you are the father when they are kids. That is when you pull out the "Dad voice" they know they had better listen. Beyond that kids are great fun, except for when they aren't.
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Tapirboy94 5y ago
What a great essay. I still do see my father through the eyes of my disappointed mother as she almost divorced him during my early puberty. Once, she explicitly told me to not become like him in adulthood. She also told me she raised me specifically to be very empathetic toward other people and Never hurt anyone. She would be so happy when other mums told her how nice and well behaved her sons were. I dont blame her though she had a rough childhood.
iknowthewhey 5y ago
The inherent flaw in this is that you can't bargain for respect. You are either a man worthy of respect or you're not. A Catholic priest or the government won't change how a wife views her husband.
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dropit_reborn 5y ago
You kind of can bargain for respect, though. It's in the bargaining, in fact, that you can even earn some. I work as a freelancer and one of my clients was habitually late in paying. Finally I renegotiated a new contract with stiff penalties for late payment. Since then, smooth sailing.
Women are crazy, right? And I don't mean in the "haha amirite?" sense, but in a very grounded sense. They miscalculate. Some of the more dramatic stories you'll find on TRP are men who've had it and are preparing to leave, and their SO goes "oh shit" and out comes the desperate crazy-sex. From you or my point of view, the dude didn't really become that much more or less respectable. He's still the same guy he was before the dread. What actually happened was that the woman's perceptions became unmoored from reality, and were then suddenly and violently recalibrated.
On the contrary---they absolutely can. I'm not Catholic, but do you really think that the government has not changed how wives view their husbands? "He's an abuser because he made you hit him," whispers the Duluth model. "The house he bought he actually STOLE from you!" says the judge.
Women talk about how men need to open up and be more collaborative with each other. I do not think they know what they're asking for---because what they're asking for, is TRP.
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Brutal13 5y ago
«Take a moment to recognize that your father was alone in that struggle. He didn’t have the connectivity and resources of modern technology which has served to foster a re-emergence of true masculinity and an understanding of gender dynamics. He was taught that his generation»
I did not like the whole idea you father is Vader and all references to Star Wars. Pop culture mostly is nothing besides conditioning.
But the idea, I quoted above, just nailed it.
My father did not have resources I had, and still he made it. Economic stagnation, echoes of war and civil war(!) and he secured most precious resource — time. I had time to think and to read things, to study in college. And I have him now, we even discuss the red pill’s concepts now.
I’d say understand your father but don’t turn hamstering mode on. Don’t find excuses for him, embrace the pain and understand that he just a human and your ancestor. However, don’t find excuses for yourself. You can control your life. Don’t look for a father’s figure — become one, you have the sidebar.