This is part three of a discussion on how young men should go about traveling. If you missed the earlier parts, you can see part one here, and part two here.

I’m considering turning these essays into a small book/guide for young men. So if there is anything you’d like to see included, please let me know.

Where the prior sections focused on preparation and bigger picture stuff, this section will focus on everything that happens from the moment you step on the plane, bound to distant lands.

Flying

Last week a couple of bros voiced their feelings of unease, and even downright fear when it came to flying on an airplane.

Frankly I was shocked. I genuinely thought I was one of the only people who feels like a rubber-kneed pussy every time I get on an aluminum death-tube, quietly preparing to rocket into the air at a thousand miles an hour.

I am living proof that you can overcome this fear. Despite having a massive, crippling terror of flying, I’ve made dozens of trips all across the world—even in some third world countries where they have a pretty fatalistic attitude about airline safety.

As I see it, there are three different ways a man can approach his fear of flying. And really, all fears.

1) The Coward’s approach

Want to take the easy way out? Just take a Xanax. They are pretty easy to get. Just go to your GP and explain the situation honestly. Ask him for a small script of like 5 pills. These aren’t like opiates or anything, where the doctor will freak out and treat you like a junkie the second you mention them. Xanax is an anti-anxiety drug that will make it so that you don’t really care one way or the other whether the plane goes down or not. Take one right when you get to the gate, and by the time you board you will be ready to fall asleep, waking up refreshed at your destination. In my opinion Xanax really isn’t addictive, but some people would disagree, so be careful. It is definitely a friend when crossing the Pacific, but I’ve never had an urge to continue dosing them afterwards.

In a pinch, alcohol can be a substitute for Xanax, but you end up hungover and jetlagged and feeling nauseous by the time you land, so it is in second place for a reason.

2) The Rationalist’s approach

It is possible to rationalize your way out of a fear. The way I do this with flying is by browsing https://flightaware.com/live/ and looking at the swarm of airplanes, in their thousands, in the air at any given minute.

Think about all the flights that happen every day, every second, and how much of a big deal it is when one of them has any sort of problem or malfunction at all.

Seriously, the amount of bad luck it would take you to die on a commercial aircraft is astronomical. Like getting hit by a meteor in your back-yard kind of rare.

3) The Viking’s approach

Vikings used to congratulate each other on their fears. Why? Because having a fear meant that you had the chance to grow as a man as you wrestled said fear to the ground, hog tied it, and fucked it to death.

Sometimes, it is helpful to just embrace your fear. Feel it as deeply and as completely as you can, and then do the damn thing anyway. This is an opportunity for growth.

Listen to some pump-up music, white knuckle those fucking armrests, and remind yourself what a badass you are for overcoming your fear, for doing what you were afraid of.

This is true for any of your fears, not just flying.

Moving on….

Grab cash at the airport

You’ve made it. What’s the first step? This might not be the absolute best way of doing things, but I tend to just bring American cash wherever I go and then convert 3-4 days of expenses when I land at the airport. These days I’ve started to lean more towards credit cards for big things (Hostels, tours, nice restaurants), because my card has as security chip that is supposed to work in most countries. However, you need to realize that the world outside of the States there are a lot of places that don’t have credit card machines. Street vendors, some small bars, open markets, buses, that “restaurant” up in the mountains near the Buddhist temple etc. None of these are going to take credit cards. But if you have a debit card with a chip, you can usually find an ATM that will dispense local currency (for a huge fee, sometimes). There is also the issue of not wanting to walk around with a bunch of cash stuffed into your pocket for safety reasons (but this is where bringing your own padlock to the hostel comes in handy). Anyway, just give some thought to how you are going to pay for things before you leave the controlled space of the airport.

Also, some people would suggest that you look at the local SIM cards that they have at the airport, so you can send and receive local calls, and in some places, have access to the internet on your smart phone.

I never do this, because I don’t really want to be staring at my phone as I’m travelling, but it is something to consider when you land. The ladies at the airport phone kiosk will all speak English, and can advise you if you’re unable to live without a smart phone for a week.

Careful for scammers at the airport

So you’ve landed in the Bangkok airport and everyone seems so friendly! All of these women are crawling over themselves to talk to you, and all of these dudes are smiling and chirping at you in little memorized snippets of English. Only five minutes on the ground and you are already Mr. Popular.

Slow down, and realize what is happening.

I need to preface this a bit, before I get really specific. Because this is something you should think about, particularly if you are a white dude visiting a poorer country.

And that is, you have a big, flashing target on your forehead.

No, this isn’t to say that the locals are necessarily going to target you for kidnapping or assault or anything like that. But when they see you, with your white face and your blue jeans, they have a way of assuming that you are walking around with the cash equivalent of one month of their salary in your pocket (you may well be) and tend to treat you accordingly.

People are going to try and get you to buy shit, ALL THE TIME. You will pay a higher price for things if you don’t know better. And sometimes, you will be flat out ripped off.

Know it, realize it, and understand it. Put yourself in their shoes.

If you could make a month’s salary from talking someone into a three hour taxi tour, wouldn’t you?

Walk out of the airport, stand in the same taxi line as everyone else, and do your best to get the cabby or driver to TURN ON THE METER. When in doubt, follow the locals. Do what they do.

Even better, some hostels and hotels will pick you up in a van. Sometimes there are busses if you do a little research in advance.

You’ve arrived, now what?

So you made it to the hostel, and are now officially a stranger in a strange land. Congratulations, you have made a step that not a lot of men are lucky and brave enough to see through. Congratulate yourself, you are well on your way to becoming a man of the world.

But here is where things can get a little confusing. What do you do now? The thing about travelling alone is you are always at risk of feeling a bit purposeless, a bit restless, a bit like you are wasting your time. At least right at first, before you fall into things, you are going to have that “what the fuck am I doing here?” kind of feeling. So, I have a practice which has stood me in good stead on every trip I’ve ever taken, and always allays any feeling of restless lack of purpose. Obviously, this depends on your unique situation, but let me tell you what I ALWAYS, without fail, do the first day. It may sound a little silly, but…

Remember in part two where I said you’d want to prepare some good walking shoes? Here is where they come in handy.

First, I make very sure I’ve got the address and contact info for the hostel written down, memorized a few land marks in my general area, and marked it on a map (the hostel will usually provide one). If I’ve prepared correctly I’ve got a few phrases memorized in the local language as well. Sometimes, if the hostel is warm enough, I’ll manage to snag a friend before I set out.

Then I go on about an eight hour walk. I wander around and scope out everything. I marvel at the headless chickens hanging from the rafters, meander up to the church on the hill, watch the men unload fruit from the river barge, stop by landmarks and cruise through the park, I appreciate the local women, and I fling myself into the place as hard as I can. During this time, I also drink. I’ll walk for an hour, stop and have a beer, walk another hour, stop somewhere and have a shot of the local hooch. Rinse and repeat until I’ve walked a good ten miles and had 4-5 beers. Not enough to be drunk, but enough to get over the typical jitters I get on the first day of a trip in a strange place alone, to get some exercise, come back to the hostel tired enough to sleep soundly, overcome jet lag, and feel like I am really in this new place.

You can leave the drinking out if you like, but it has always worked for me. Or substitute tea or whatever. But I love beer, I love I making friends at the local pubs I go to, I love being a little tipsy and bartering for some weird pineapple looking thing at the open air market, I love laughing at the buskers and teasing the women who inevitably come up . It gives my walking a goal and a purpose. It burns off the beer calories, and it just in general helps me loosen up.

This is just a kind of personal aside. I swear by it, but some might find it kind of aimless.

Suffice to say that whatever it is you do that first day, you can’t wait for purpose to fall from the sky. You have to chase it down with a club and beat it into submission. So whatever it is you are going to do, make a solid plan for that first day and stick to it. Accomplish something. There will be time to fall into stuff later. For now, pick something that will give you a purpose for day one and just in general helps acclimate yourself. For me a good beer wander is always on the day one agenda.

That wraps up arriving and day one. Next week we will talk about how to make the most out of your time, and start to touch on some mindset stuff that you should reflect on as you get deeper into your travel.

Fellow travelers, feel free to chime in below. How do you like to begin day one of a long trip? Particularly when setting out alone?