TL;DR: My failed attempt to fix a bp friend. I try to give advice to my bp friend that was crying over his gf that broke up with him, and I end up getting dissed by the entire group of friends.
Backstory
I have been lurking for quite some time now and I can say that being unplugged has changed my life for the better.
I was in this group of 6 other guys for 3 years. BP me used to think they were my friends because we were having fun together, and maybe they were.
Recently one of them got a girlfriend. She is a 2/10 in all honesty. Obese with a disgusting personality. But he was very desperate for a girlfriend. Somehow he found out she likes his looks (through one of her friends). AFAIK they dated 4 times before she made the move on him (guess she was pretty desperate as well). And he was so happy for finally getting a girlfriend.
The breakup
Before I start, let me add that they haven't had sex. Apparently they talked about it. She said that she didn't want to have sex with him because "she may like it so much, that she will want to cheat on him". Needless to say, he bought it. (she claims to be a virgin)
From day 1 of getting with her, he was always thinking about her 24/7. Texting her even when we were in the movie theatre, while the movie is playing.
What's funny was that I pointed out all the red flags she gave him and how giving her so much attention was counter-productive but he told me that my point of view was the reason why no woman will ever "truly love me". Fair enough.
Then one day, she texts him something along the lines of "we need to talk". His mood immediately hops from his usual "Look at me I have a fat desperate girlfriend that doesn't wanna fuck me, I'm so proud" to depression. He says he has to go home early.
Next day, we all go to hang out to some coffee shop. He starts talking about how she told him she "was stressed by school" and "can't do this anymore" and how she needs a break. All while he has tears in his eyes. He said that he removed her Messenger nickname (and some other attention seeking behaviors, that clearly didn't work even with a 2/10 like her).
The boiling point
I tell him how I thought what he did was attention seeking, he was giving her all the power, that he shouldn't have been doing so many favors for her (he was walking her home from school every day, and it's a 20 extra minutes of walk btw), that he should've just ghosted her after she said that, and how I told him so.
I get called all sorts of names from my BP friends. He loudly says how he loved her (the 2/10 girl that was using him for validation, because she finally found someone as desperate as her) and that I know nothing about love or their situation. Not one of them agrees with my POV, so I just leave.
I'm currently ghosting those friends, not responding to any messages or calls. I really tried to help them and I get treated with no respect.
Conclusion
You can't force your views on someone. Blue pilled desperate betas will remain just that. You can't force them to change. They have to want to change. Talking about trp with them is just going to lead you into arguments. They aren't worth your advice or time.
sadshark 5y ago
I dropped 6 friends that i've been with since high-school because I simply wanted more in life ans they couldn't follow my new path and on the contrary they would criticize, downgrade, and make fun of my new-found direction.
That's when I realized that in order to achieve what I wanted to achieve and to live the life I wanted to leave I had to 'cut down the weights' holding me down.
It wasn't an abrupt process like 'fuck you guys, I'm never hanging out with you again'. Instead it was a slow-ish separation: less spending time with them, refusing certain invitations, trying to meet more like-minded people, etc.
In the end they ALL faded out of my life without even realizing when the breaking point happened. It just happened gradually and naturally.
And it was one of the best decision of my life. They're happy, i guess, I'm happy and it all worked out for the best.
2gudfou 5y ago
holy shit, part of me doesn't want to believe this is a real story. I mean I have some cringeworthy BP stories myself but this is like a new level of BP
washington_breadstix 5y ago
Try leading by example. Let him see you crushing it with multiple attractive women and eventually he'll want to come around to your way of thinking.
LightSkinKen 5y ago
I stopped reading at they didn’t fuck because “she may like it so much that she’ll cheat on him.” How do you hang out with dudes like this? Who accept that kind of shit?
Redpilledaccordingly 5y ago
It's quite depressing, but you're not going to convince your BP friends to digest the RP. They have to actively want it. In their bizarre world it's "misogynistic thinking". I am not going to tell you what to do, but I had to ditch my BP friends. They'll start to resent you, not now, not tomorrow, but soon.
EuropeanAmerican420 5y ago
"She didnt want to have sex because she may like it so much she will cheat on him"
If someone told me this IRL I wouldnt be able to get a boner for at least a week from laughing so hard
Aggressive_Beta 5y ago
I couldn't come up with a better example of female hamstering if I tried.
Eap123RP 5y ago
That is the best shit test I heard ever. How can anyone treat a girl who said that seriously?
juliusstreicher 5y ago
For real...esp. a 2/10! I'd need a 6.5 or higher to even think about fucking after the first week.
RedPilledRoaster 5y ago
Quit trying to change people to satisfy your need for approval of newfound ideology
Get that approval yourself by testing the waters
Flying_Wingback 5y ago
This is exactly what is it
[deleted]
cappadocianhawk 5y ago
While you are right, it's normal to want to "save" your friends. That's what men do.
On the other hand fuck them if they don't want to be saved and forget them, of course.
AloofusMaximus 5y ago
Yes, men are "fixers". I think most of us by nature want to try and right the wrongs we see.
Unplugging like most other human behavior though, has to be a conscious choice. Some of those choices are much harder than others, but truly making that choice (and owning it) is really the only way.
[deleted] 5y ago
[deleted]
[deleted]
88VILLI 5y ago
life’s too short to hang around friends that don’t appreciate you.
took me a long time to learn but do your own shit and let the right people align themselves with you. you don’t need to be enemies but don’t waste your own time either.
z1stxfile 5y ago
Take all that time you put into helping your friends "relationship" and put it back into yourself.
AshyLarry27 5y ago
“You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” – Jim Rohn
Good on you for leaving them. Nothing sucks worse than realize how much time you wasted hanging out with losers that are quick to throw you under the bus because you have a point and they don't see it.
Go find some winners to spend time with.
Guys that:
Rakosnik 5y ago
that's all wrong. forget the dude. he will come back begging one day.
AHumilationADay 5y ago
Why do we keep having to go over this? Keep trp to yourself, you're only spitting in the wind.
Is it some kind of ego validation you're in on some big secret? Can we please can these threads already?
187oddfuture 5y ago
Just like every man has to swallow the red pill on his own after getting hurt, you internalize the first rule of fight club after you try to convert a BP friend. Happens to all of us.
Dontneedflashbro 5y ago
Nice group of friends you have there op. Should have stopped pressing here at the very latest " From day 1 of getting with her, he was always thinking about her 24/7. Texting her even when we were in the movie theatre, while the movie is playing. " It's clear this guy is lost in the sauce, better to let these types of people do their own things. Don't try to change girls or "friends" . Maybe small details like a new set of tires or changing the sound system. You can't turn a civic into a bmw.
[deleted] 5y ago
Just know before you try to convert people to a new ideology that it is very hard to play the messianic archetype in life. Its something only people like jesus / mohammed / buddha / sadhguru can really pull off. It is a lifestyle. Unless you are truly one of these people i think you can gain the most from just swallowing the pill.
Hegend1999 5y ago
Yeah, just give your honest opinion. If they can't even understand that you just want to help them, then just ghost them. they can't learn/adapt. Losers. You don't want loser friends.
Roko567 5y ago
Why are you surrounding yourself with such miserable failures
SpecialSpnk 5y ago
You need some new friends STAT
[deleted] 5y ago
Get better friends. What the fuck is this cucked shit trying to help people who can’t help themselves. God refused to help them, so should you.
Stabiel 5y ago
Good riddance. They did you a favor by freeing up slots for people who you might actually have real fun with.
ValarMorghulis90 5y ago
I've found rewording the advice to an objective view makes things easier for BPs to absorb. I've done this with success multiple times. Avoid the active criticism, lest you hurt their feels. It's all about technique. If they still won't absorb it, then let them live their lives in ignorance, and eventually misery with a nagging hag.
[deleted] 5y ago
[deleted]
Stron2g 5y ago
No idea what you said but I agree
[deleted]
zaferhimself 5y ago
"Fill a glass with water and put it on the table. Don't ask people around the table to have it. Eventually, a thirsty one will grab it."
This is how you should approach those friends.
pabz_is_keww 5y ago
Crabs in a bucket. Let them fail together.
[deleted]
JPSYCHC 5y ago
He should ghost all of his friends because They disagree with him about how the dude should approach the situation?
juliusstreicher 5y ago
You didn't read the OP did you. It says that all of his "friends" called him names. For trying to help.
Pilliam66 5y ago
Not saying he should or shouldn't do that, but it's a free country. It can be annoying when people not only disagree with you, but do it in a way that completely alienates you. No point spending time with people that have such a different point of view in life.
AlmightyPerun 5y ago
As mentioned up there, crabs in a bucket. Nothing to do with disagreement. If you can't notice the difference, well, you still have a lot to learn. Don't let the other crabs drag you down with them. You'll just end up being a crabcake in a restaurant. Do you want to be crabcake? Or a free crab minding his own business at the bottom of the ocean and sharing his time with other quality crabs?
kurdishpower01 5y ago
And because they're bp and drag each other down. Unlike kind of rp-friends who lift each other up
JPSYCHC 5y ago
They lift each other up in one small area of life, obtaining sex. There’s a lot more that makes up actual life.
CannabisCumshot69 5y ago
This is the distinction here. If you think your friend is being an asshole about something, you don't sling mud, call him a misogynist, and start tarring and feathering the guy; you ask him "hey dude, don't you think that's being kind of a jerk?" and you get his honest reasoning, because your friends should be quality people who can back their actions up. People who don't understand this are people who go their whole lives without examining themselves.
The_Chiselnator 5y ago
Why do you care? Fuck him. Friends like that are an anchor around your neck. They are losers. And you know who has losers for friends?
Socialist_Russia 5y ago
This is why you don't share TRP lmao.
[deleted] 5y ago
The first rule of Fight Club...
Merwebb 5y ago
They think they know enough to go and save the world, dumbasses
Jeffk01 5y ago
Yes!! This shit right here ...!!
TRPDigesting 5y ago
I know right?
And even if it weren’t a rule; it comes across a lot like any kind of dogma you try to enlighten people with.
How do you feel when somebody says, “I just wish you’d go to church more. Then maybe you’d find happiness.”
It doesn’t matter if it’s church or TRP. They have to seek it on their own.
And obviously I am not comparing TRP to a religion. It’s just a common example of somebody trying to crowbar your mind open to their beliefs — it’ll never be welcome unless you ask for it.
cappadocianhawk 5y ago
You don't need to explain the ideology, you can tell your friends women are more attracted to you if you don't give them free attention.
The problem is how agressive some people can be while sharing their newfound truths.
leviathan51 5y ago
TRP is exactly what a religion is. It is a way to view the world. At least for our primitive ape brains, which, on the deep level, cannot understand science or shit like that.
KBeer01 5y ago
I had violent cringe convulsions at almost every new paragraph in this post. OP, do you want to know what the best thing is that has ever happened to you? This:
Time to celebrate! You had the weakest fucking group of friends, dude. Weakest. Ever.
Losing friends is a great indicator that you are improving. Nothing sounds good or constructive about these guys. Enjoy your new life!
[deleted]
enkae7317 5y ago
The truth is that BP will remain their ways forever. You can NOT change their minds on these kind of things. They will cling to their BP ways that society dictates them to.
Best you can do is explain lightly to them in laymen terms. You can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink it.
Also, don't get butt-hurt over the fact that your buddies are all BP. Don't judge em for it, but don't feel sorry for them when they fuck up too. Offer some advice, and if they take it then they take it. If not, move on--you guys are still buddies.
ucfgavin 5y ago
You did all you could...is your friend an incel? he sounds really pathetic.
EuropeanAmerican420 5y ago
Well he has an obese girl who refuses sex so probably
abudun79 5y ago
Classic story, but not very representive, since you're still kids. How many GF/plates did you ever have and fuck?
As-You-Were 5y ago
BluePill should be treated like alcoholism, these people have to want to change to actually change.
SovereignSoul76 5y ago
God grant me the serenity to accept that these Billy Betas wish not to change...
quansau1 5y ago
Chubby chasing is weird, especially when your friends are going to pieces over a land whale. You just kinda want to grab them and shake them while yelling "throw a dog a bone sometimes but don't let them become your life!!". I would say to each their own but I think this perpetuation of fat acceptance /idolizing has had a marked negative impact on society ranging from health problems to overly dramatic fattys trying to out compete skinny chicks with volume, sluttyness, and mass. Your friend is lucky he didn't break a hip letting her be on top, oh wait, no sex....right...blue balls make a man do dumbass shit.
BewareTheOldMan 5y ago
Smart, masculine, and actualized men simply ignore the "fat acceptance/idolizing" noise and don't consider these women for ANYTHING - not for one second.
A man’s preferences are his preferences and hardcore men don't bend to social or societal pressure to make OTHER people feel good about themselves.
[deleted] 5y ago
"They have to WANT to change"
That is exactly right. I will also add that often times, people need to think that they came to the epiphany themselves for them to truly internalize it.
A lot of us at TRP know that a lot of guys will never really change their habits until they get repeatedly crapped on over and over again. Then they will start to realize that maybe, just maybe what they had been conditioned to believe isn't actually true.
What's going on with your friend is textbook inexperience and scarcity mentality. I'm willing to bet that in 4-5 years or after a few more times this happens, he will look back on this and be like "wow, I was such a freakin' loser", adopt all of the advice you have already internalized, and start to get his shit together bit by bit.
It's the way it goes. All you can really do is kick back, get some popcorn and watch the developments unfold. Oh, and if you find they are ruining your life, cut them off.
BewareTheOldMan 5y ago
This. Exactly. It's unfortunate, but that's pretty much how it happens..."repeatedly crapped on over and over again" in relationship after relationship.
Dude will have a clear and distinctive "moment of epiphany." Eventually and inevitably Red Pill Awakening comes to most men - some even BEFORE they get burned hard by a woman. These are the lucky ones as they watched the men around them get smoked. They KNOW the stove is hot.
But yeah - TRP-Aware or not, his friend will leave the madness of "the Matrix." One can only hope that he doesn’t get burned so terribly that he's unrecoverable.
jm51 5y ago
Only the converted will tolerate proselytisers.
If a persons actions don't interfere with your life, allow them the right to be wrong.
LotBuilder 5y ago
Run away from the entire bunch.
KillingJoke92 5y ago
A situation like this is what led me to seeking out new truths and inevitably trp. Maybe this will be a wake up call for him too
masterofmydomain_ 5y ago
law 38: think as you like but behave like others