> I also agree that having a place to vent is important. And not to shame MasculineHapa but if he doesn’t have a tight circle of trusted confidants then he needs to get on that ASAP. And building that circle also falls squarely on his shoulders.

The most successful men are surrounded by other men whose input is helpful and unapologetic. Fishing for what you *want* to hear is a woman's game. Men seek out what they *need* to hear.

a few supportive words and then being calmly pointed in the right direction can really make a big difference.

I have to 100% disagree. I believe your words come from a place of wanting to honestly help, but they are wrong for getting someone's attention when that someone needs to be slapped in the face.

Be honest, what desperate, distraught, delusional person have you ever met that Listened and Followed "calm" advice?

I understand there is a difference between whining like a hungry dog and somebody genuinely holding their hand out asking for the pill. Treat them like grown men, not children.

Well put, stronger advice than narrow minded, butthurt, knee jerk comments

You’re right man, almost everyone ends up here because of a crisis

True enough. And after I've finished lifting thousands of pounds of weight.. no woman is able to shake my frame. After 2.5 hours of MMA kickboxing and boxing and a nice cold shower... no woman can shake my frame and if my life is truly falling apart, I'll sit for a moment, breathe, and put it back together.

Thats the power of lifting my brother.

nice to see some positivity getting upvoted

Granted some dudes need the abuse, but I've always thought husbands need a lighter touch than some clueless 21 year old having gf issues. Marriage is the big leagues, especially when kids are involved. Retroactive scolding with a healthy side of venom doesn't do shit for these men. So many forget that part of diagnosing a situation is providing support and solutions. Imagine if doctors looked at middle aged patients and simply went "lol should've been healthier when you were younger bro!" No fucking point in going to the professionals then, is there?

I believe it is a maturity aspect to TRP - which is a complete husk of what once was a great place to vent, post progress, get advice, and make dreams come alive with the right tools.

TRP has turned into a 24/7/365 bitter spergfest of the same shit repeated over, over, over, over, and OVER. You also have a mix of incels, MGTOW, and other toxicity into the cocktail too.

As a single father to a 4 month old it is really appalling how fucking retarded some of the content is on here. When you become a parent, shit really changes you especially if you are up against the kangaroo family extortion court system. You can't just mope around crying "why me" or some 14 page rant about how some hoe who was never capable of loyalty burned you.

As men it is our duty to figure out solutions and implement them at full RPM. There is absolutely nothing wrong with asking for help when in times of need/confusion however once the help/advice is given it is YOUR job to execute. There is one thing that TRP often hides in the shadows: sometimes the best thing to do is push down the TNT handle and restart from scratch. Sometimes shit just gets too fucked up and a clean slate is the only way to salvage your sanity. That is why changing jobs, moving to a new place, having "fuck you" money, ditching boat anchor "friends", quitting porn/jacking off 10 times a day, and so forth is the only way to go.

I am rambling a bit here but it's really not that hard. Ditch the toxic shit dragging you down (a vile woman, shitty job, loser friends, etc...) and bring in the positive (gym, studying rational male, reading, learning something new, and beyond) Making positive steps will increase your chances of bringing in positive. Nothing in life is guaranteed even if you pull the right strings

Nah son, you really need to lift.

You havent read askTRP long enough to realize that enough people need a kik in the ass rather than "brother hood"or whatever the fuck you mean by that. We basically have all the cheat codes laid out here and people STILL dont get that simple baseline of "lift, dont take shit from women, and work on yourself" It takes a year and a half to two years of lifting just to START, THEN you have to work on IDGAF attitude, abundance mentality by talking to lots of women, which is BEHIND getting the rest of your life in order.

it is a long journey, and lifting and not being a faggot is just the start. if people cant do that or hamster that "all trp talks about is lifting, woe is us who dont want to" "Or trp is more than lifting waah waah waah" (no shit, but its pretty much the answer to 90% of ask trp problems) OR the ""I want to bang this hot chick at my job, trp what should I do?0o0o???"" which is what you're doing in this comment Cloud, You miss the point, and are doing men a disservice by demonizing those who are giving the best advice out there for where 90% of people are at. Real men tell you to do shit you dont want to do, in a tone that you dont agree with, get the fuck over it, this isn't nursery school where we have to consider your feelings, this is the real.

The answers are out there, and they are pretty much the same, lift, frame, approach, do, learn.

Hell, Even I have JUST started to have that IDGAF mindset sink in little by little, and ive been hearing it for a long time. and Yes I lift, I add that to my approaches and date a new girl at LEAST once every two weeks, Am I drowning in pussy? no. Am I learning and getting better and working on other things in my life to improve it? Yes. Am I sad or crying because someone on the internet told me in a not so nice tone to get my shit together? No Im not.

If a man can't handle "abusive shit"(your words) on the internet, then maybe that man was meant to be culled by the cold hard realities of life darwinian style. Nature (and hypergamy) DOESNT GIVE A SHIT about your God Damn feelings. Only each individual can do that. If that individual can't handle "rude" people on the internet, then maybe they weren't fit for the life that they want. They surely can't handle women who are a lot more cold and calculating and . . ."abusive"(i.e. follow the rules of nature/biology)than rude words on the internet are. If the men who find this place cant succeed, then they were never meant to.

However, if a man is motivated, inspired, angry, energetic enough to fight against the odds stacked against them, well they may still fail, but tryning and failing is still better than just giving up altogether. If those men succeed then, all that much better then.

So no, trying to shame men for telling people to do the BASICS(key word for when you inevitably miss the point)is silly, and should be met with thunderous shouts of "fuck off" instead of 100+ upvotes of hurt fee fees

to be fair to them, after the 500th guy asking for a shortcut/handout without even taking the least bit of effort on his part...

I mean, it's not like there's no reason to say lift faggot

And to give a fairer answer, before your ban that is...

This isn't about her, it's about him. The only place he gets to have a problem without chicks shreiking is a tiny, random internet forum... And you want to take that from him, dismiss his feelings and get the plow horse back in the stable. Isn't sharing feelings something you chicks love? You're not wrong, but you're also not helpful. He feels what he feels, and your shit won't change that, of course, it's not about the body, but you were frothing at the mouth too much to finish reading weren't you...

I'll give it a reread, but I don't think I mentioned the girl once, luckily you've made it all about her.

Fuck off and let other men sort him out, I thought the harsh language would be enough to deter you from running your mouth.

I guess I was wrong.

It wasn't for him, he doesn't want a fix, he wants a coping strategy.

This is for me to write down what I've learned, and for others to get a good perspective on these scenarios.

But I got Reddit good, so I guess that's pretty cool

notice how far up into a chicks frame you are?

Don't think in terms of motive and blame. Think in terms of results. A man wants a woman who respects him, and a woman wants a man who loves her. If a man is unable to create enough dread, his woman will let herself go, he will despise her for it, and she will despise him in turn. And yes, some women are not teachable. Marriage makes it worse because both men and women often assume the other won't leave, so they get lazy. Know what you want, and don't cave (frame). And don't be lazy (discipline).

i was hoping you or /u/MrChad_Thundercock would make a post about that. all his post was was victim puke. he fails to see that he's not leading his family, nor setting boundaries on his wife's behavior.

Thank you for your insights and the links you provided. I appreciate it. I have a lot of things to read and a lot of things to realise. I understand how my post came across, for a large portion, as self-pitying. I was venting, yes, and I didn't come out of the whole thing looking very good.

I think part of my reason for writing my post in the first place, perhaps the biggest reason, was to serve as a bit of a cautionary tale for men younger then me, regarding the state of marriage and what it can do to a woman and her attitude. And what it can do to you, as a man. And I wanted people to know how badly women can be damaged by the effects of ageing and pregnancies. I noticed too many older members of the sub, men who would describe themselves as woke as can be, who would still frequently praise the bodies and looks of women past a certain age. The ones who "took care of themselves". It's just a coping mechanism. They still got hit by the same freight train of age. They still got ruined in some ways. You just got older, complacent and less picky. And, more importantly, you like the woman.

You are right to assume in your breakdown that my wife's attitude makes me less tolerant of her flaws and look at her far more unkindly, even when it comes to her physical flaws. But even if she was perfectly kind and understanding and downright awesome in every other way... I still wouldn't be able to ignore those flaws and I could still feel my attraction go down the drain the same way. A lot of men just age and their preferences and standards go down as they go along, but mine haven't changed much and I think that's making me look at her this way. I cannot trick myself into thinking I'm lucky for having her when I know for a fact that I could be waking up to a hotter and younger specimen if it weren't for her.

A lot of men are simply not aware of those things. There's this ongoing belief that if you found "a great one" you will continue to be satisfied by her in every way for a lifetime. Or even just for a decade or so. But in my experience this isn't the case, everyone, no matter how great, deteriorates and you will always want more even if you settle down and are happy on the surface. There's always this thing called instinct and it's calling you elsewhere, distracting you from what you have. And the call gets a lot stronger when the woman you're with is a cunt a lot of the times.

All women are manipulative and assholes?

the funny thing is that you make a judgement on women's character while Rian describes a set of behaviors that all women will take given the opportunity (a BP man). of course, these behaviors are on a spectrum. i have to ask: how old are you?

I believe his point is not thinking about her too much but more about the poster (the husband) himself.

I agree, but prepare to get crucified haha. Lot's of idiots hanging around.