The rationalization hamster has went to work.

This thread is a couple weeks old now but having just came across it, I had to throw in my ex's version of reality.
She took off leaving me to raise our then 2 yr old. It wasn't a big deal because she was more like a live-in prostitute and a half-ass babysitter. Add to it that she was a pain in the ass to deal with and I was happy with it just being my boy and I. Fast forward 2.5 yrs later and no contact she serves me papers claims I'm not the father and I "kept her away." Judge uses HER discretion and scolds me (wtf?) and next thing I know I'm sharing joint custody with this child abandoning cunt! To make matters worse, stupid bitch judge took 2 years of all holiday time from me and gave it to someone who up a left her baby for her own selfish reasons. I still cant believe it.

This was all 2 yrs ago. Since then, of course, she is highly offended when I use the truth against her whenever she plays like something is not fair. My response: "Wtf-ever, you KNOW as well as I do, that I'm the last person YOU should be talking to about what is fair or unfair. Tell your friend in the robe." She looked at me like I was crazy. She truly believes her lies.

A woman mind is a projection of her solypsism, the world must always be what is better for her, once you get that, it's like being close to a schizophrenic: 0 expectations that she will have any contat with reality, and if it happens it goes away very fast.

Jesus I must write a book

we both tell each other that we’re not seeing anyone else...

get a text from a mutual friend to say she has been seeing multiple guys. Clearly while we were still seeing each other.

I hate twats like this. Had one a few years ago when I was much more BP that was sneaking around behind my back. She balled her eyes out the night I called her on the phone and ended it. My fault for trying to LTR a slut.

Congrats! You discovered by experience hamstering and mental gymnastics.

You made your mistake right...

I actually start to question myself and started feeling

...There.

The more you'll argue with women, the more you'll find out they use emotions as arguments, and it's a never fucking ending debate because it is not anchored in logic or facts.

So next time, don't waste your time and have faith in your own ability to assess the situation.

It is not women only, but human trait.... If you have a gf and one or several side chicks you will also notice more flaws in your gf.

Never let someone else make you feel bad. Man or woman, it’s usually a good sign of manipulation, she’s a moral warrior.

What bothers me is that she deliberately made me feel bad so she could justify fucking other dudes. If my friend hadn’t of said anything I would’ve been thinking for the rest of my life this falling apart was all my fault for ‘not making enough effort’.

This has been mentioned so many times on the internet that I'm sure every guy has experienced this at least once.

Myself personally, I experienced this so many times that I lost count.. It's usually how all my relationships whether casual or serious, ends.

They start fights with me for the dumbest reasons, say I don't do xyz or whatever.

They do this to avoid blame. But every time a girl starts doing this, there is another guy or guys in the picture.

No girl is going to break up without having someone else in the picture. None.

The last girl who I was talking to for two months out of nowhere texts me that she wasn't happy where our relationship was. She accused me of looking unhappy when I'm around her.

All of it was complete bs. There was nothing wrong with our relationship. However, everything changed when she went on some trip over the weekend.

That's when I noticed her attitude changed. Put two and two together, she was baiting me to end the relationship so she can be with her new boyfriend.

This explains why the political left is so good at creating false realities and then making everyone believe them. Women vote for leftists. They are masters at this.

A woman’s reality is how she “feels” Next time you get into an argument with a girl listen to what she says. It’s all “ I feel like...” Or “this is how I feel”

What she “feels” and what’s actually true, rarely line up

Na she was fucking other dudes all along bro. Women just like to keep the narrative going that's why she could be giving pussyy free no consequence to one and expect another to put it on a pedestal. thats why when u meet em you start on the lowest leve lof mindfulness and investment and keep it there in the background while the niceties stay outfront. Never promise a woman exclusiveness no matter what the chemicals in your head say .No disney, you need to realise that as a man if u are looking for a respite in life look else where but not with the broad you with. You might get it with some but that should be a bonus to your game. Keep this in the back of your mind Like every struggle in life intersexual relationships is a struggle no half stepping

Don’t feel bad for playing women.

They are rutheless and won’t hesitate to play you. Only care about you, your friends, and your family in this lifetime.

Life Hack: Understand that women will NEVER own up to their shit. EVER.

Stop expecting it. Internalize this truth. Then you will be a-lot happier.

More like a different version of reality depending on how she's feeling right now.

Argument ensues.

I see where you went wrong.

What bothers me is that she deliberately made me feel bad so she could justify fucking other dudes.

This just in: women lie, 'cep it doesn't 'count' as a lie because they don't "believe" that they are lying, m'kay?

Translation: NO HAMSTER LEFT BEHIND!!!

Before i took the red pill i can distinctly remember about a dozen or so old divorced guys all tell me the same thing about women, almost word for word " no matter how good you been or what you do, it's always your fault and your a dirty motherfucker"

She shifted all the blame onto me so she could create a reality for herself whereby I was all at fault and she could do whatever she wanted guilt free.

Get used to it, this is normal

Sorry, I have to call you out on this.

Incongruence is when the words don't match the actions.

Casually dating. Nothing serious.

She shit tests you and you fall for it hook, line, & sinker.

She breaks it off.

You "don't give a fuck and carry on with your life".

You find out she was seeing multiple guys when you were "Casually dating. Nothing serious."

You then bring it up to her and an argument ensues.

Wait ... what? I thought it was casual dating, nothing serious, and you didn't give a fuck?

She made YOU feel bad?

You made yourself feel bad. Sounds like you had the feels.

And what's with the "not making enough effort" part? For someone you were seeing casually, with nothing serious, and not giving a fuck?

It sounds to me like it wasn't casual (on your part anyways) and that it WAS something serious (on your part) and that you did give a fuck that she was giving out fucks. (Defense mechanism on your part to say you dgaf).

FRAME. It's yours to keep or discard. Sounds like you are lacking in it. (As I am and numerous others in this community. That's why we're here.) Read up on it. Practice it. Get it down.

Congruence is a part of it. It's when the words and actions match.

"she is very quiet" aka not initiating contact. So you text her to find out why and unsurprisingly it's your fault. Women taking zero responsibility for their actions is nothing new. They will never own their own shit. This dynamic you have going on with her has veered off the desired path. As a man you should always be the one being chased. If she is not chasing you, you can assume 100% correctly that she's chasing someone else. If she hasn't texted you in a while, don't go snooping to find out why. You know why. Ghost her and next her. If she never texts you again, then you never talk to her again. And that's ok, because she is easily replaceable.

Welcome to the rabbit hole. Ain't it grand?

As many others have said, the default mode is that it's the man's fault. The really hard thing to come to grips with, is that she actually believes it's your fault. You guys agreed to see each other exclusively? Well that's how she felt at the time. Once you start to insert the "I feel right now that" before every statement she makes, it will help, a little.

In the end you'll be glad she's gone out of your life, because it was only a matter of time for this to happen.

"I bring it up with her. She doesn’t deny it. Argument ensues" Right after the "doesn't deny", is where you just walk out. She just admitted to cheating on you, it's over. No sense in arguing, getting upset with her, doesn't matter. Her actions have spoken. Maybe she'll feel regret, try to make up for it, who knows.

Ha! I remember my ex going out of town with a female friend and male acquaintance (of mine at first, by that time equally hers). They ended up partying real hard, and she made out all evening with a friend of her brother, in front of our two mutual friends. She of course had to tell me, given this was so public.

She never apologized. All she could say was that she was so "not that type of girl" that it could only be my fault, for not making her love me enough so her drunk self would not do that.

Saddest part is I brushed it off. And it only got worse and worse.

Women have an innate ability to use feelings/bullshit to change their own view on something to the point that they are 100% sure their lies are true.

All women do it, ask any man blue, red or otherwise and they'll have had an argument where the woman they are arguing has rationalised away her fault.

For women their reality is whatever they perceive it to be despite the cold hard facts. Perception is something that's clouded by emotions, personal biases, subterfuge and stupidity. Just so happens that women can 100% cloud their own perception and then believe their own shit.

This is classic. Thanks for the reminder. AWALT.

I had a married women wanting to sleep with me. I could see her starting to spin the story (her hamster) that she was lonely because her provider was busy working his ass off to pay for the nice house she is now enjoying and raising her kids in. I didn't do it; I don't need the drama.

But you could see that in an evolutionary context, he (the BB) would be raising and providing for the offspring of an AF.

IT'S NEVER THEIR FAULT. You can't expect anything else or get mad about it. They can't help but think with their uterus.

EDIT: I guess this is a bit of humble brag. But my point is, if she's feeling lonely, anything goes and it's never her fault. If you ever feel lonely as a man: fuck you. Another reminder to be strong. Be stoic.

Textbook Lightswitch effect.

If you're not exclusive you're not exclusive. Don't create an argument over it.

Also if you are "exclusive" you're about a coin flip on truly being exclusive. Enjoy the decline.

(fuck I'm a cynical cunt.)

Hey OP, why would you proceed to bring it up with her, after you'd already ended things? Rule of plenty dude. Right here, this post holds no value except of what not to do. So you've figured out AWALT theory based on this one plate. She broke it off, don't show any more attention than you already have.

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For a women, anything can be rationalized, no matter how immoral. It’s good to stay aware of this in any engagement with a women.

Yup. Everything she says negative which cannot be based on any fundamentals is most likely bs. Deep down she knows this however will always go by her Hypergamy

Lots of women do this, in fact it's basically expected of them. Why do you think the stereotype of the guy always being wrong exists? Women relieve themselves of agency so that they can never be seen at fault when they fuck shit up or feel bad about their choices. Often they'd rather deal with the cognitive dissonance of lying to themselves if it means everyone else thinks that the woman's problems are purely circumstantial.

You probably shouldn't have even confronted her about it, accepted the information from your mutual friend and learned from it as a cautionary tale. Instead now you may have damaged your relationship with whoever this mutual friend is because you used that information to stir drama.

Lesson learned. Don’t be surprised when this shit goes down.

u/wobbleelbbow this is the kind if story I was talking about. Fuckin shady shitt. And some guy of those multiple guys is going to eventually LTR her. I see this all around.

And this guy won't be some beta schmuck shitt no he might as well be some guy who smashes other dudes at his local mma gym. If he however knew about her fuck-arounding before accepting the push for exclusivity then he would have shown her the door.

Nevertheless we both tell each other that we’re not seeing anyone else.

A mistake.

and started feeling bad that I probably wasn’t paying her enough attention.

Emotional investment from your side, right there.

I would’ve been thinking for the rest of my life this falling apart was all my fault for ‘not making enough effort’.

A whole lot of emotional investment in fact.

She shifted all the blame onto me so she could create a reality for herself whereby I was all at fault and she could do whatever she wanted guilt free.

Solipsism at its finest.

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You gave too many fucks. Learn from it, improve and try again.

"anyone that can't control their words and can't control their emotions is not worthy of my respect."

i'm guessing that this woman is super submissive. those types NEED an excuse to slut it up; so they often play the 'victim card' hard.

she needed an emotional excuse to justify her NATURAL behavior. ALWAYS give women the opportunity to show you EXACTLY who they are, and when they do, believe what you see and hear.

iow, don't MAKE them into your ideal.

walk away and don't look back. this women is seeking attention thru the use of her mouth, ass, and vagina.

This is the nature of women. Get used to it.

I don’t think women really make much sense either though, I think women are trying to objectifying and self entitle themselves as due to feminism almost, I feel that’s what it is.

Had a similar situation a few years ago. What made things worse was a friend worked with her so the idea she would ghost knowing we had mutual friends was off putting. Fast forward 2 months later, I am already seeing someone else. I bring my plate to my friend's big get together for his bday. He invited her and her friends, and I came with my plate. We had a group of female friends show up too. Funny thing was our female friends talked to this girl and said something along the lines about how I had a new girlfriend which caught her off guard. When we saw each other, we made small talk. Later on when she was drunk enough, she gave me the same "you were't giving me attention" BS too. I never learned if there were other guys involved, but AWALT is a thing. Worth it to later see her crying about it and the new girl I had at the time.

Sounds like you got sprung like a bear trap on some pussy and while you were busy being her texting buddy me and the boys were opening her up like a flower and dicking her down.

Good luck out there dude.

A lot of people have zero fucks to give about fucking with the heads of other people. Better to expect it from everyone than face the sometimes life-destroying consequences of being

Bro. One of the biggest rules around here is don't EVER listen to what SHE SAYS but what SHE DOES.

Actions speak louder than words 10/10 times.

Typical AWALT behavior. She might be BPD or have some other neurotic condition going on.

You fell into her frame. You weren't invested, so she tried harder, got your investment, then, evidently she branch swung?

I actually start to question myself and started feeling bad that I probably wasn’t paying her enough attention.

Fine by me. I didn’t give a fuck and carried on with my life.

Saying IDGAF doesn't make you alpha. It's better that you acknowledge that you do give a fuck and that you shouldn't. This affected you too much. She felt she wasn't getting enough attention, and you start feeling bad. Maybe you didn't give her enough attention. So what? Were you busy? I don't know. Why'd she get with you if you don't give her enough attention? Did you give her more attention before you stopped seeing other people? Did you change that? Ask yourself these questions instead of feeling bad.

Were you not spinning plates? What does she add to your life? Why did you get with her? How did it get to the point where you are getting self conscious over if you're giving her enough attention. We don't even know if you were giving her more or less before you started dating. It sounds like you didn't have many other options and lacked abundance, so you reluctantly entered the relationship.

This just sounds like an AskTRP post. Can an endorsed member let me know if I'm off base. This just leaves a weak taste in my mouth.

Um I think women are passive aggressive about everything and in-direct so maybe it was so weird unspoken reason that she took as a sign rom you that she was allowed so then “fuck multiple guys”