How have you improved this week? In what ways did you take steps to get closer to your goals? In which ways did you fail? In which ways did you succeed. This is the thread to keep you accountable. Post weekly. Stay the course. Every Friday.
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TRPalexmehr 6y ago
My entire life, in my relationship with my sister I have been the "sacrificer". I would never buy anything/ask for anything while she would spend hundreds of dollars on makeup and clothes (we grew up pretty poor), I would always get the worst seat at the table, my sister would constantly be asking me to do her "favors" which were really her bossing me around constantly, and on and on with hundreds of small examples like these. I had many fights in the past with my sister, but because I didn't know how to approach these fights she would always outwit me and I could never seem to escape this dynamic. Finally in the last two weeks I have managed to break this dynamic.
One example: last week we had a bunch of family over for the holidays where we got into a disagreement and were trying to work it out. Instead of listening to me, my sister was just trying to order me around as usual which I did not take. She got all pissy and made a scene which I ignored. She brought it up at the end of the night and was saying how I should apologize, and I told her that I would not be apologizing, and she should apologize. Again throws a scene and storms off. Since that incident I basically cut her off and would not really respond to her except for short curt answers.
Three days into this and she hits me with "I'm sorry you got angry" - no actual apology for what she did. Ignore this and continue to ignore her.
Yesterday - full apology, and recognition that she messed up.
In the 20+ years that we've been fighting, I think this is maybe the second time that my sister has apologized to me and recognized she was acting inappropriately.
TRP, I can not say this enough, THANK YOU! No more taking bullshit and getting less than I deserve.
engincel 6y ago
Started working out and dieting again, stopped smoking weed and trying to quit nicotine next.
Banished_Monk 6y ago
Hit the gym the last 5 days, lifting and cardio. Down from 200 to 196 from Dec 31. 3 dates this week, ended up making breakfast for 1.
Having difficulty stopping drinking completely. Worked down to 2 nights of the week. Also having issues with keeping on my diet. I do shift work (LEO) and need to get a meal plan going.
fortune700K 6y ago
Went to the gym for the first time this week. Got stuck outside my house in the freezing New york cold for an hour and didnt go for the second time. Shouldve just went. Also ate wayy too much food and masturbated. I'm dissapointed and im also getting scared that im used to dissapointing myself. How do I pick up?
Salted_Pretzel 6y ago
I have been doing well in improving myself everyday. Learning 2 languages, coding, reading more books as well as re-reading older books, drawing and designing. It's tedious and there are times where I don't feel like I'm improving but it's the micro things, the 1% daily increases that add up.
campa56la 6y ago
Is coding as monotonous as it seems?
Salted_Pretzel 6y ago
When learning and building a habit out of it.
Nutty_Nutts 6y ago
Going to purchase/invest in a high end computer (2K$) so that I can spend my weekends working on intensive computing hobbies to take advantage of my degree and help with job prospects / independent projects skills. Needed something to do while relaxing after workouts so I can get something done that's not distracting videos. Should cover mental and creative ( and financial) side of hobbies with that. Just gotta keep myself from using it for games instead.
Still keeping up to date with workouts, added another 10 pounds to all workouts so it's accumulating. As well as losses with another 2 pounds over holidays, slower but still keeping pace. Still sore a few days after so that's a good thing.
Getting better with eye contact during a conversation, and noticing the nervousness of my friends while chatting doing so...
ImHerWonderland 6y ago
2k computer? Why not build your own? You could have a monster with only 1k-1.2k
Nutty_Nutts 6y ago
I am building it, to handle the image processing, animation, machine learning, and VR I plan to do so with a higher end graphics card and CPU with a decently sized SSD. The better the computing power the less time I wait for iterations and can change the variables to see the change in performance.
pawoukcz 6y ago
just dont play games for god sake!
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Nutty_Nutts 6y ago
yeah, I will limit myself to CIV 5, the only game I've played on my previous laptop (took forever), and try out modding some of the AI habits with machine learning to make more interesting matches after a few thousand matches of it playing itself.
Doing research now on reasons to justify the price jump of a Nvidia quadro p4000 / m5000 vs a 1080-ti and trying figure out the memory error rate I will be tolerant of in my work starting out. Don't yet have the cash for the CAD licenses just yet and that seems to be the major distinction at this point looking at performance.
campa56la 6y ago
You sound very intelligent. Goals over girls. As you achieve your goals, girls will come for your resources. Use them like some RAM and move on.
[deleted] 6y ago
Down from the heaviest I’ve ever been at 207 to 192 when I woke up today. So I’ve lost 15 pounds over the course of about 3 weeks. Granted most of that is probably water weight but still.
I wasn’t fat or anything but I had an internship in the fall that paid for lunch everyday and I slacked off really hard with my diet. Just ate junk food for lunch everyday which led to me going from the 180-185 range to ballooning up to 207. Then my poor eating habits just led to other poor choices like not working out as much and just being lazy in general.
I was in really good shape before so me gaining 20 pounds didn’t make me look fat just gave me some love handles which I’ve now mostly burned off. My goal is to get to a lean 165-170 by the summer.
Since New Years I’ve started tracking my weight on an excel spreadsheet so I can make a graph of my progress when I reach my goals.
Overall in the past 3 weeks I’ve not only eaten very healthy and gone to the gym 6 times a week, but I’ve had a lot less screen time and focused much more on my meditation and reading.
All in all, a very good start to the year. But I need to stay dedicated.
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FirstNamesMusic 6y ago
Been going to the gym 6 days a week training.
Kept my workout schedule/easting under control for the holidays and lost weight.
I began putting together and leading a worship team at a top 5 church in the southeast.
Also joined a classical chior in order to expand my musical horizon to more complex technical pieces.
At work crushed another coding project and will soon be working at an international bank on their corporate account website.
Bad:
Have not been sleeping well.
iamanalterror_ 6y ago
Went back to the gym after another week long break. I've been falling out of the redpill since last year, and now I'm coming back. Late 2015 and all of 2016 were some of the best years of my life due to finding TRP and starting on the journey of self improvement.
Tomorrow I'm going to put my old speakers, TV, old car and car stereo up for sale online. I'm also going to make my lunches for work, and continue the search for a new job and a better place to live.
reddishworm 6y ago
Ghosted my Oneitis of five years. She cannot hold me long in her weakening grip.
[deleted] 6y ago
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reddishworm 6y ago
This shit is like an addiction and I'm getting withdrawal symptoms. She called me, texted me, sent me an email asking what's wrong. We can do this man.
Edit: She's giving me beta bait with stupid emoticons. Tells me how I make her feel bad.
campa56la 6y ago
It's for validation, not because she loves you. It's the ultimate rejection in her eyes that you left on your terms. Their egos can't tolerate it. Stay strong.
[deleted] 6y ago
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fuckboiwithfeelings 6y ago
Hey rough weeks happen, rome wasnt built in a day. Carry on and good luck!
TheSx505 6y ago
fap comes naturally as long as u don't do it excessively, but i want to tell you, keep your word and dignity, i have too cut all toxic influences and i feel kinda lonely but still, keep strong.
PremixedBox 6y ago
The Good: Started to run again as a part of my workouts. Ordered a pull-up bar (next week I'll start doing them). Increased the weight on my bench press. Started nofap yet again. Deleted social media from my phone.
The Bad: I haven't been reading any books (which I need to start doing again), I've been waking up too late (which I need to correct ASAP), and I removed some people from my social circle who were negative.
SilverFoxMarine 6y ago
Today is my 40th birthday. Self reflection has been the theme all day so far, but not in a negative way. Here are my updates for this past week.
Accomplishments:
Lowered alcohol consumption by 75%. Was noticing that the hooks were setting in and decided to stop cold turkey before it became an issue. Only beer & wine during social events for the rest of 2018.
Ran the same Marine Corps physical fitness test I was subjected to back in the late 90's, beat my younger self by 15 points.
Fails:
Failed to tweak my diet (long overdue) to get past a plateau. My two-pack would probably be a 4-pack by now if I wasn't procrastinating this chore for the past 2 months. I am suspecting it is psychological in nature. Never had a 6 pack in my life and I think subconsciously I am afraid that because I have been on this journey for so long, that I won't know what to do once I accomplish it. Crazy.
Despite obvious sexual IOI's from my stylist, I cannot pull the trigger on asking her out. I have no issues with other women, I think it is because it took a long time to find an awesome stylist, and I don't want to risk losing her in case things go south. lol
Overall, I am happy with how I look and feel right now at 40 years of age. The road never ends though, I will always create new goals to keep me hungry. I know as I get older, the competition in my age range gets lower & lower. I can't help but fucking smile. :)
ShesLikeOMG 6y ago
Overall week 8/10
Fitness 10/10
Education -/-
Social 8/10
Other 6/10
[deleted] 6y ago
I am 40. Gym 5 times this week. Lost 2 pounds! body fat = ~13% Reading Models (wow) and Sex God (Am I ever horny...) and the 48 Laws of power (sigh... this one is not my style - I ain't Machiavelli... but it is useful). Divorced my wife 40 days ago. Moving in my new appartment this week-end. I need friends. This is not my home city. I have a great job and been here with the wife more than 7 years. Never made friends here - just did my own shit and worked. I need to find a way to get social. My friends love me but are 2-3 hours away. No spanking the monkey, no porn, but still playing VGs 6-10 hours a week. Started TRP 2 days after leaving my wife and have been working out more and reading TRP books since.
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[deleted] 6y ago
Yeah I am in that oh-so-cold area... Moving this week-end is going to be fun! Thanks for the feedback. There are some websites for social events in my region too. I need to grab my balls and go meet people...
majorketone 6y ago
Good:
Bad:
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gaydabsquad 6y ago
Good on you for spending your time productively man. Maintaining a strong social circle should be discussed more.
One thing that helps, is try to find someone's interest and get them talking about it. At the very least it will leave a good impression and you may learn something new.
At the end of the day having 1-3 strong male friends you can talk about the deeper stuff is ideal, since most people you will only make small talk with. If anyone has a different perspective and more advice, please chip in.
JacksinthePulpit 6y ago
Typically if you downplay your strengths it helps alleviate a lot of that social stigma. People hate because they know that you are better than them, it will be a preconceived notion when they see and meet you (they'll automatically assume that you are better than them). If you then act like you are it will only affirm the notion they have of you in their heads making you arrogant. Instead at this point it's good to demonstrate a small amount of vulnerability through humble bragging (but don't make it obvious) relate on common topics and say normal social niceties. The things you say don't have to be true the effect should be putting that person at ease so they don't feel intimidated by you.
otikokoso 6y ago
Does your family hate you? If EVERYONE in your social circle hates you then you need to reevaluate. But don't give any mind to gossip. That's what women go
Bisuboy 6y ago
Maybe you should read How to win friends and influence people by Dale Carnegie. One of the best and most important books out there
DamiensLust 6y ago
Why would you make a point of not talking to anyone you have to interact with in your life? Is this just your normal, default mode or is this a decision of yours? Or is it social anxiety that you've dressed up in your own mind as a positive, proactive decision? Sounds to me like you're improving in every area except socially, where you're clearly way, way behind.
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DamiensLust 6y ago
it's not common for merely being successful causing widespread hatred amongst a group of regular people. I'm pretty sure you are either knowingly leaving something out or have some kind of blindspot towards how you present yourself.
ShesLikeOMG 6y ago
I believe there's scientific evidence that suggest social relationships are the number one predictor of ones general happiness. if you feel that you are hated by most of your social circle you are definitely doing something wrong. I invite you to consider your social situation as an area of self improvement. yes you're improving in the academics/gym/side projects; but are you improving you friendships or romantic relationships? Humans are inherently social creatures.
Also: caring what other think of you is fine, so long as you do it in a logical manner. Meaning that you don't feel emotionally bad if someone dislikes you, but you logically realize that there's probably something bad which you can improve on.
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ShesLikeOMG 6y ago
Alright my man.
If people are literally mad because you're "improving yourself that it insults them" they are ABSOLUTELY not worth being friends with. However, I strongly doubt that this is why your friends don't like you. I've met plenty of people with success and I have never once seen their friends turn on them. I've had some successes and my friends SUPPORT ME. My guess is that your attitude is somehow pushing them away
How exactly are friends rejecting you because you're improving yourself? are they literally saying "wow, your muscles have gotten bigger, fuck you." or "why are you talking to that girl, you've changed man". Like I can't actually understand how they dislike you if there's no tangible reason to dislike you.
"most of the social part is a short term pleasure", the exact opposite is true. You said it yourself, you have to maintain friendships. "friends help in your long term goals". How is sociability short term pleasure? you know what actually is short term pleasure? Sex. Which ironically is what seems to bring you happiness : "I have no problem in pulling decent girls" and "Seeing more attractive girls talking to me" makes you happy.
You say: "Social circle doesn't lead to my happiness." Yet you say that "Seeing more attractive girls talking to me" makes you happy. Those two statements are quite contradictory. Why exactly is hot girls talking to you making you happy? my guess is you take it as a form of social validation. You're probably thinking "wow she's hot and talking to me so I must be cool/alpha/ confident etc." Now there's nothing wrong with that, in fact I also love it when hot girls talk to me, but you need to realize that it is the same form of social validation (happiness) that a large social circle will give you. The only way you can enjoy hot girls talking to you without a desire for social validation, is if your only desire is sex. Which is a short term pleasure see point 2.
Overall I agree with your philosophy in many aspects. But I can't understand your exact mindset and quite frankly I can't properly understand your problem point 2.
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wittybaboon 6y ago
Count how many I’s you have in every sentence and you’ll understand your problem
FirstNamesMusic 6y ago
Honestly, it's the RP stage your in. It's not bad, but we all go through the asshole stage where we are working so hard at bettering ourselves, and focusing so hard on it nothing else matters besides the mission.
Eventually you will learn how to not give off that vibe in order to dance the social dance better than anyone else. Once you have mastered that (and still keep your mindset you have now), then you will be able to succeed in any social circle and truly have power as an alpha.
You will inevitably lose people, because society hates men who dare to shake the status quo and better themselves. This is natural and don't let it bother you (sounds like it doesn't)
Stay on track, you're doing well
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FirstNamesMusic 6y ago
Well that's hard to say, because I do not personally know exactly how you are repelling people.
So I will give you my experience and maybe it will help.
Basically the first 8 months of monk mode, I saw myself as a soldier. I woke up every day literally ready to fight the day. I'll use the example of viewing work/gym/hobbies as a battleground in which I would need to ruthlessly need to attack and win.
This led to 2 things.
A) anything that did I could not translate into "battle terminology" lost importance in my life. Things like friendship and even women.
B) I literally lost all empathy and even began to oppose myself against anyone whom I saw could drag or slow me down. I essentially saw life as everyman for himself.
Now here is the paradox (for me at least). Life IS everyman for himself at least to an extent. But we MUST NOT lose empathy for others.
Let me ask you, who is a better alpha? One who cannot see beyond himself or his mission? Or one that manages to complete his mission AND make those around him better by simply being there.
The second alpha is a Leader, the first is an asshole.
Now when transitioning to a Leader, one must not forget the fire that fuels you in the asshole stage. In fact that will mostly stasy with you your whole life, except the anger will get replaced by a feeling of duty to yourself.
Think, which man can think clearer? Someone who is angry all the time? Or a man who simply does things because it is the right thing to do.
This sounds like star wars I know, but don't let the anger creep in to every aspect of your life. Control it or it will control you.
Once you learn to not be angry all the time, then you are beginning to transition to being a Leader.
This quote helps me all the time, "The Lion does not concern himself with the concerns of a field mouse."
All this truly means is don't let other people's actions affect your temperment. One who gets mad simply because he hears gossip is not truly an alpha. An alpha and leader hears something he doesn't like and takes action to change the conversation without the other person noticing at all.
If you have questions let me know. I will try and explain.
PremixedBox 6y ago
Your lion - https://imgur.com/qaYkmNX
ShesLikeOMG 6y ago
My philosophy: make social relationships A PART of your mission and achieve both goals at once.
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BurnoutRS 6y ago
"who is a better leader? One who cannot see beyond himself and his mission, or one who manages to complete his mission AND make others around him better for it"
I fucking love this quote, I wanted to expand it by adding my own idea about helping others by helping yourself, and helping yourself by helping others. The human mind is excellent at allocating resources outside its own physical limitations. Like how most of the time its easier to remember the terms you searched to get to a website, rather than being able to repeat verbatim the article you read. Your brain realizes it doesnt need to memorize the article, just rmemeber how to get there
Think about why you're friends with anyone in the first place. It's because you benefit somehow from their company (or believe you do). If that were no longer true, you wouldnt associate with them anymore
[deleted] 6y ago
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BurnoutRS 6y ago
Develop your social skills by practising things on your friends. Like, dont run game on your bros like you're trying to fuck them but remember how touchy feely the jocks were with each other in highschool? At least they were in mine. Kino your friends a bit, punch in the arm, high five. Works the habit into your system.
Get a gym buddy. you can spot each other, goof off a bit between sets, motivate each other.
Find friends with interests relevant to your current idea of a future path. Do you wanna be a photographer? When youre out for your next sesh taking wildlife pics, find a buddy to come along. Hell they dont even have to be interested in what youre doing. Sometimes i just pick up a friend and drag them to shit. Its a good chance to practice being in your element and enjoying yourself with others.
Get creative with your multitasking. If youre worried about dragging people to things, all you have to do is engage them in the activity. Bring a second camera for your friend to take pics for example, or put your camera in his hands and challenge him to take a cool picture of something.
Its fun, gives the added bonus of letting you practise exercising dominance over others. Obv dont be a dick about it, lighthearted shit. Use discretion too, you cant always have tagalongs, they can get in the way if you have serious work to do
[deleted] 6y ago
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FirstNamesMusic 6y ago
Hey man, im going to answer this I won't forget. But.im busy tonight.
Probably will be tomorrow if I don't get to it soon.
[deleted] 6y ago
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FirstNamesMusic 6y ago
I think you should do 2 things as an exercise
A) start meditating regularly, find the reason why people seem to be off put by you. This will not be easy, it will be hard, but only you can find the reason. Do not let anyone else tell you their perception. In order to do this, you will need to be completely honest with yourself and be able to look at your life from the outside. This is hard, but it's part of the red pill journey.
B) find a sports team and start playing on it. It can be anything from mens league baseball, pickup basketball, fishing, honestly it doesn't matter. In doing so you will forge bonds with men. Men creaste friendships by achieving a goal. You need some strong male bonds. Honestly I wouldn't even worry about women for a while.
These men will not reject you if you are truly alpha, If they start to dislike you it means you still have some change to make.
I can't type how to have male comraderie here in a paragraph. It needs to be a natural thing.
You will learn a lot through this exercise. You should report back in the next week's improvement thread on how you are doing.
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[deleted] 6y ago
Started lifting again, after a one month pause (I didn't have much time between school and other projects).
Other than that I want to start reading some non-fiction. I ordered The 48 Laws of Power and The Prince. I think they are really good for the beginning.
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TheSx505 6y ago
Workout at least 1:30 hr/ every day, reading 48 laws of power, working to get a raise, beginning to make an app project, mantaining a full productive "Monk state of mind"--- I'm still in need to expand my social circle since i cut all toxic friendships (3/4 in my case)
[deleted] 6y ago
Focusing more on applying rather than reading so much (theory). Ready to start spring semester.
Guerilla713 6y ago
I've gone up in quite a few lifts this week. I was mostly doing sets of 8-10 and doing weight I could comfortably lift. Researched bodybuilding.com and other sources and learned how to properly gain muscle mass. Life much heavier weights for 2-7 reps.
For example on dumbbell press, I was doing 60-65 pounds. Then earlier this week I went to 75 and this morning 80 right off the bat. Thought I'd struggle but it was surprisingly very easy for me to lift so I plan on going up to 85-90 sometime next week.
And cool thing this morning was the new muscles and veins I kept seeing as I worked out.
youngzari 6y ago
Pros:
Cons:
Overall I'm feeling grateful, determined and focused on a new path. Here's to 2018.
[deleted]
youngzari 6y ago
Yeah, sales. I'm starting from the bottom. Getting my insurance license and going to work my way from there. I'm looking for a leadership role ideally within my first year or two, then really weigh out my options. If the corporate setting is as you claim then I'll re/calibrate. No more lateral moves for me. My goal is really to keep moving up and improving; personal and professional. Complacency almost ruined me so I have a found motivation via this fresh start.
Thank you. Same to you, sir!
BurnoutRS 6y ago
Im up to half the volume i was lifting before the accident. Still only half the weight on some of my compounds. Deadlifts skyrocket my blood pressure, same with squats and if I get dizzy in the middle of a big lift, well thats just another wall im gonna push through. Gotta take it easy on my back too.
3 exercises, 4 sets of each 2x a week. I started off with high rep low weight stuff in the beginning. Now im more in the middle, failing in the 8-12 range on most exercises. Throwing in some drop sets and pyramids again. End goal is to be back powerlifting, 6 exercises, 4 sets each, 4 days a week. I also hit a workout two days in a row in two consequtive weeks. Even had one week where i hit the weights 3 times
Gotta love that feeling of regaining old muscle. This is the second time ive had to regain my body after a major life event put me out of commission. In in that glorious stage where you go up 5 pounds on every lift with each workout, and you pack on mass so quick your friends think you're taking steroids. Then again all my friends are pretty BP. Im only 6" 180lbs and about 22% bf. Used to be 210 at around 20% bf.
This time around im not eating refined sugar. Jesus fuckballs what a difference that makes. I packed on way too much fat in my last big bulk. Since cutting out the sugar im pretty much maintaining 180 and trading fat for muscle
Applejuice42 6y ago
I bought a wristband made of local lava stones for a girl im dating. Shes into geology and im staying in gran canaria. Wanting to tell her about it, i open my phone. Read a text she sent the night before: "If you're only going to text me when youre horny, dont text me at all. Thank you".
Was really hurt by that comment. Felt betrayed to see her dismiss all the attention and emotional energy i spend on her. Especially having bought that bracelet. Told her "Fuck you too then. Dont worry, i dont mean that in a sexual way."
Connected with a few other girls too, they are wonderful and im starting to get feelings for one in particular. Lifted weights every day and worked on my startup. Its going really well and i even delegated several tasks without feeling guilty.
hundredH20 6y ago
Do you like this girl? I would not have given that response... sounds like a test and that sh's interested in you.
Applejuice42 6y ago
Thanks for that response. Yeah i like her, weve been dating for about 7 months now. Thats why i was hurt that she would insinuate me only being in it for the sex. Could well be testing. Sure feels like a trap. Not the first time she does it either, even though she knows I get really upset by manipulative behaviour. Previous ex used to abuse me and manipulative behaviour such as twisting my words and lowkey accusations were her bread and butter. Honestly that hurt more than the physical abuse. Anyway I guess some old wounds were triggered. Maybe was a bit harsh but couldnt bring myself to talk to her after that. What would you have said?
[deleted] 6y ago
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DamiensLust 6y ago
Steady state cardio is not only gruelling and torturous but is totally counter-productive if you want to gain muscle & look masculine (which you should be aiming for). Try HIIT. It's so much more enjoyable and won't cut your test like steady state cardio.
[deleted] 6y ago
Running is great for mental grit, and it's meditation on the go, though. if you workout the core muscles you get to have abs and be slim and have great endurance. Look at Brad Pitt in Fight Club - that the kind of body I had after 8 years of long distance running. I wouldn't say it is totally counter productive, although I understand your point. Probably best to mix it up with the Gym.
prophetoftruth17 6y ago
I focused on meditation everyday this week to focus and stay in the present. Trying to change the constant negative thoughts and learn how to get in touch with emotions (as in what they are telling me and what to do about it) and stop having them control my life. Reading alan watts and studying buddhism has changed the way i act and behave. Trp has changed the way i observe others and how i behave with girls. Got laid two night ago for the first time in a while and realized getting laid isnt always the answer to happiness. The whole glass is already broken parable is Really changing the way i see life in its everyday moments. Still got a long way to go but i gotta thank the ppl in the community.