You are sad. I feel sorry for you. Seriously pitiful. I find all your goals to be petty. I don’t give a shit about money, hot girls (I can get plenty without acting like a hunter gatherer retard) as a goal makes you seriously pathetic. Living in a world class city is cool, but the way you present your goals and criticize people who see you as a Trisomy 21 Down Syndrome mentally retarded ass as just being angry because inside, you know how pathetic you are.

I’d rather have goals like build a school in Kenya for children who can’t afford school. Build a water well in a Ugandan village to provide clean water to people. Run a Hep B vaccination campaign in Egypt to prevent a deadly disease from killing and hurting people. You? You want to be rich and get hot girls. Sad. Beyond beta. You are like the end of the alphabet.

Wanting to be popular on social media is gross.. in talking about the logan Paul genre of internet famous.. they seem spineless and needy...

I have a simple rule. Never discuss self improvement with anyone else. I try to challenge myself: do you want people to look at you in awe, or be a sniveling mostly desregardable life coach, because if you want to be the latter, share your personal goals with others as you pursue them. I can't seem to go hard in the gym for more than 3 months before I sharing some great guidance with someone and they like it but can only grasp about 20%. Next thing I know it a week passes and I stop working out. WTF.

Psychologists say if you give credit to someone before they finish a goal you are giving the same stimulation in their mind center as they get for finishing the goal. So since they received the stimulation they no longer have the drive to complete the task. Example. A teacher saying to a student, "I know you'll do great on the test next week" <winks>. The teacher unknowingly demotivates the student.

This type of dynamic seems to apply in a lot of situations.

When I'm trying to share my wisdom with unmotivated people around me I'm not helping them, I am disservicing myself and I have to accept that I'm sharing because of my own boundary issues. I can keep my gains to myself, or I can discuss it with other people who make gains. But as soon as I become a happy go lucky friend and 'share' my good info with a non-gain based friend I'm mixing my business of gains unprofessionally with unskilled team members. I've basically inviting my friends to help run this business of gains when they aren't qualified.

A great way to stop making gains is to talk about the gains you are making.

The best way to not get a BBQ assembled is to tell someone how great your day is after you get the BBQ assembled.

A great way for the Germans to lose a cup game is by merely realizing that the German team you are on is clearly superior Mexican team you are about to play.

edit: always surprised by downvotes.

"The only people who tell you that you can't make it are the ones who failed."

Not sure where I saw this quote, but it's very relevant to this post. People hate when they see someone succeed in something that they failed to do.

This post is spot on, and I’ve been toying with the same theory in the past 6 months after noticing it myself from immediate family members.

Often times the envy, criticism, and pessimism that from that specific person not thinking of the goal themselves. Watch closely, because the people that rip on you will often follow in your footsteps and copy you a few months down the road. If you actually do achieve your goal or see progress, you can bank on it.

The possibility of you achieving your goal threatens them. They want you to stay at the same level as them forever. If you start to climb the ladder of “success”, they feel it will highlight their own weaknesses because they’re still in the same spot. So, they want you to stay at the bottom with them.

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Reminds me of the fat/washed up beta-husband bragging about how faithful they are, as if they had a choice.

i used to think that was the reason too, but then i figured it out; it's not that they want it (whatever it is) for themselves, they just want to STOP other people from getting what THEY want. it's called "spite" and i believe it's INSTINCTUAL. Everybody does it, and nobody ever talks about it. i'll give you an example...what happens if you want to change lanes on a highway and you put on your signal to indicate your lane change? inevitably, the person in that lane will SPEED UP to prevent you from doing so. they don't even think about it, it's an automatic reaction as if your turn signal is connected to their gas pedal. Have you ever done this to someone else? Of course you have. Why did you do it? You were driving at your chosen speed. Someone else changing lanes won't effect you, but you just had to stop them, right? "oh no you don't! nobody comes into MY lane". Why do people constantly rat on each other, when doing so is of no benefit to them? Same reason. They can't stand to see someone else get what they want, and they will do almost anything to stop them. Now that you know this, you will begin to notice instances of this happening in your life all the time. This is why it's a bad idea to ever tell anyone (friends and family INCLUDED) of your ambitions. They will automatically try to stop you from getting them. I promise it's true. If you let someone know you like a particular girl, for example, they will deliberately fuck up your chances with her. They will say you called her a slut behind her back (and she will believe them). Not because they want her for themselves, they just want to stop YOU from getting her.

Jesus Christ, the bitching and lack of self-awareness ITT. Y'all sound exactly like those wannabe career-bimbos in business-slutty outfits, who in one moment complain about not being taken seriously, only to spout some vapid "live love laugh"-bs in the next one, that we all (would) like to bang.

Just like the above, you expect to have your cake and eat it too: to indulge in some selfish ego-stroking and get validation for that same thing. What do you expect to hear - "you go girl"?

Do you actually expect people to be inspired by you wanting to fuck bitches and get money?

If you view "self-improvement" trough the lens of getting more stuff that you want, then ofc people will shame you, and rightfully so ffs. People who have no selfishness to be ashamed of - but instead: convictions, actual aspirations to sth - will not be writing posts like this one.

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Funny, the other day i was at my cousins baby shower. At the end we were just talking, me, him and his wife. And family being family, always make jokes and tease the single people about marriage and what not especially due to the culture. Anyway, something came up while i was talking to the two about that and i shrug it off with something along the lines of "IF i get married." They laugh and he tries to downplay the fact that I have control of my own life and will live how I want. He even said something that made it seem like I'm trapped by my family "if i couldn't get away from it, then what makes you think you could?" (or something like that) At the time it actually got me mad but after reading this post i get it now. He didn't have control and desires the control I have now.

I get fitness shamed sometimes. Get sarcastically called playboy or pimp by middle aged women because I lift . They assume I want to fuck every girl.

When I started my business I really, really noticed this. I can't say I'm surprised by the reaction looking at it objectively - we're envious creatures.

It was a good wake up call for myself, though. Showing that envy is the same as showing weakness. Understand when people are doing this to you, and avoid doing it to other people as much as possible.

tl;dr: crab bucket mentality

Poor people have poor ways. They will try and tear you down because misery loves company.

Have you ever noticed how people who complain a lot feed off of the validation they get from complaining? Negative people hate positive thinking. It's sad.

I just make a note of these people and spend as little time around them as possible.

If you are doing something:

• all people doing the same thing are against you
• all people doing opposite thing are against you
• majority of people doing nothing are against you

Don't remember who said this but it is quite accurate (even if a bit an exaggeration).

Just do your thing and don't tell others what are your plans.

I mean it depends on the situation. A friend of mine recently told me "Hey. I'm going to get involved with this real estate business!"

"How do they make their money?"

"You buy empty plots of land!"

"And develop them?

"No you just resell them for more."

He goes on to describe an obvious scam. They'll TEACH you how to make money doing this for only two thousand dollars! I begged him not to get involved not because I also wanted that desire but because i didn't want to see him get taken.

Success is the best revenge.

People trying to put me off my goals are little more than a welcome shit test- a "how much do I really want it anyway?" moment.

Real life is harsh like that so better to err on the side of caution wrt others advice. If someone comes with even well-intentioned criticism, I remain suspicious until my own evidence comes in. No need to bitch and blame them when their advice turns out to be crap either. Take full responsibility.

Another good post describing crab bucket mentality. People hate seeing over people achieve, it is a reminder of their failures and non eventful lives.

I now view crab bucket type comments as a positive thing. As it is an indicator of people noticing improvement.

I wanted to get better at guitar so I spent a bit of time practicing and improving. I didn’t notice the improvement over time until someone said. “You spend too much time on that”.

I quit smoking and everytime I go out an old friend will try convince me to smoke with them. As OP said, they have a goal deep down to quit too but not strong enough to commit. They see someone else do it and it drives them crazy.

Thank you for saying it out somewhere man.

I learned this the hard way and since then my perspective has changed and also, I have become better at focusing and concentrating on the actions which will lead to my goal.

And beware of those who will do everything they can to convince you to stop and then do that exact same thing themselves - you'll realize how many people are actually competing with you.

Watch what they do, not what they say. Large scale data does not lie.