I hit it off with a business woman. I kept my true emotions to myself the whole time we met because everything that would come out of her mouth were the thoughts I was thinking. Either she was a mind reader or she was a good fit for me. And I felt I needed it after several ons with vapid sluts or shitty plates with attitudes. I gamed her and before long she'd come over to my place, drinks, and in bed.

It wasn't long that it was over as soon as it started. I did try being less of an asshole and more of a I-know-whats-best man. I thought to myself if this is what pushed her away. You could right it off as me being "boring" but it bugged me why this turned her away. It's not like I stopped being a playful jerk. There was something good there between us. Why would she sabotage that? So I asked myself...

Why is it that when women find someone who is a good fit they leave but with a bad fit they stay? We say "excitement" or "alpha genes" or "game" but I wonder if it's simpler. I wasn't a pushover with her. I set firm boundaries and don't budge. We had common interests, she was responsible, manager of a new office in town, other people knew we had a thing going on (I never said a word) and said we were a good fit too. It's almost as if she realized she had a good thing and she wanted to sabotage it.

I think it comes down to how men and women have totally different lives. A man's life is reforged through pain and he seeks pleasure to comfort him and alleviate stress. A woman's life is completely catered to and on a silver platter. Perhaps she feels less alive because there's nothing to compare against? Let me make another comparison.

In his hit "Be Humble" the rapper Kendrick Lamar mentions wanting a regular girl with natural fat ass with stretch marks. He's tired of the models, the high class living, the cream of the crop. Even in his newest singles he looks for loyalty and that's what he prizes above all looks. Why would a man who has everything desperately seek mediocrity? Because he wants to feel something different. He wants what he doesn't have. Grass is greener.

For a woman who has it all and everyone treats her like a goddess, there are no flaws and imperfections. Like a living coma she slips away into auto-pilot zoning out as her day to day passes her by. No challenges. No struggle. No pain. A zombie.

Than a man comes along and gives her the gift of pain. Physical and emotional. Suddenly she's experiencing sensations she hasn't felt. Blood rushes to where her ass has been smacked by Chad. She sobs remembering what sadness feels like when Chad dumps her for the second time. Her spirit is riled up when he confronts her bullshit and she feels an energy in her chest that makes her feel like she can overcome and master him.

Because men wallow in pain we seek pleasure. We wrongfully think women must want this too. Women bask in pleasure and they want to get a taste of what we are forged by but they never want to bask in it.

I would have enjoyed to have been lovers with that business woman. We could have been a power couple, no lie. I'm in the right industry and I can (and will still) use her network. Both of us said we didn't want kids any time soon. We both were on the same page with non monogamy both of us being as busy as we were.

But I think it's not possible when what I want is pleasure and she wants the pleasure of pain. And that's what I think ultimately turned her off. She needed some drama, she needed me to give her pain, and what I saw was goodness. I was only interested in the bliss and hedonism that would come from our arrangement.

Women must need pain.