Report:
Met on a dating app (not Tinder, but one of those that's supposed to be "higher quality" than it).
Scheduled a date after a very simple "Hey, I'm busy this week but I'd like to get to know you over a drink sometime next week". No texting until the day of the date, where we clarified logistics.
She arrived 10 minutes early, I arrived 10 minutes late. She was an HB7 like in the photos, thin, nice boobs and face.
We immediately hit it off very well and she was visibly interested in me, maintained eye contact and even initiated kino. She complimented me on looking fit and squeezed my muscles.
We moved to a chill bar, where we sat on a sofa and talked about our backgrounds and personalities. I was teasing her all the time and she seemed to like it.
I grabbed her and pulled her closer to me, we made out and I was rubbing her thighs. I always was the first one to pull away and she wanted more.
We kept talking and she mentioned how she is friends with some model just because she keeps getting her free handbags and accessories and that she doesn't really like her. I jokingly said: "you make yourself sound like a materialistic bitch".
She looked at me as if I had just strangled a puppy to death. She said "did you just really call me a bitch? On our first date?", and was visibly disappointed.
First I tried holding frame, not backing down and saying something like "are you one of those sensitive girls that cannot take an insult as a joke?", but she kept looking really disappointed and offended, repeating that "it really sucks to be called a bitch on a first date".
I then broke frame by saying something like: "look, I didn't call you a bitch, it's just an expression that's used to describe people who only care about objects - it's a well known term, no need to take it personally".
She didn't continue discussing on this, and she moved away from me on the sofa. I decided to cut this short and move onto something else. We talked a little bit more, but the great vibe we had before was visibly dead.
I acted as if nothing was wrong but my mood was impacted and we both knew that we were just acting like nothing was wrong.
We talked a little bit more, I managed to make her laugh again and bring the conversation on a more positive note. I pulled her close to me again, then we made out.
I thought I had recovered, then it was time to pay the bill. I told the barman we were going to split, and she didn't look happy about it - but she didn't say anything.
Afterwards we went on a walk. She was holding her arms crossed and not making eye contact. We both kept talking and acting like it was fine, but the vibe was definitely dead.
We sat on a patch of grass, I grabbed her and put her on top of me. We made out and I touched her thighs and squeezed her butt with minimal resistance. After a few minutes of making out and talking in between we got up.
I asked her what was the most extreme thing she did. She said: "one time I went on a date with some guy I met online, and we both got into the mood and we did it in a random bathroom". I said that was not very extreme and that I was thinking about something more like skydiving and bungee jumping.
When she said that, I decided to escalate as I didn't want to be the idiot that chases her while she fucks other guys in random bathrooms on first dates.
I told her that I was going to make myself some ice cream and that she should join me. She said: "I am not coming to your place".
At that point I felt like the vibe was ruined, she happily told me she can be a slut for other people but wasn't up for it with me. I told her "that's OK, I'll see you some other time then". She said: "that's it?" and I replied with "yeah, I have work tomorrow so I'd rather relax and catch some sleep - I'll see you". I hugged her goodbye and left.
Thoughts:
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It's probably a bad idea to call someone a "bitch" on a first date. I said it very jokingly, but she was visibly upset by it and it killed the entire mood. I think I would have probably fucked her or at least ended the date on a more positive note if I hadn't said that. It also affected my body language and game, as I felt like I fucked up a previously good vibe and opportunity.
- However, I remember doing the same to my only current plate on our first date. She jokingly slapped me and I told her "wow you're such a bitch" on the date. She didn't mind at all. Might be completely subjective, but maybe it's best to be safe on a first date and avoid slurs.
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Maybe I was paranoid because of how I killed the vibe, but I felt like she was trying to make me upset when she told me about fucking a random date in the bathroom. As if she wanted revenge for being called a bitch, by telling me that she's willing to fuck a random stranger but reject me. After she said that she wasn't coming home with me, all I could think about was "yet you fucked some guy in the bathroom"; "I was not good enough for you". Her remark definitely worked and got to my head.
- We had a lot of interesting conversation about our backgrounds, what we like to do in life, what our dreams are, and shit like that. Maybe this was too much conversation and I should have kept it lighter, and escalated more aggressively. However the vibe seemed good before I dropped the "bitch", so I don't think it was necessarily a bad thing. But here I am stuck wondering "did the guy she fucked in the bathroom did the same, or was he hot enough to just get away with minimal conversation?"
Questions:
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I tried holding frame after offending her, and then explained myself when I saw that was not working. Is there a better way I could have handled the situation?
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She was making out with me and letting me squeeze her butt, even after the vibe was killed. Do you think she wanted me to escalate more aggressively from the beginning? Do you think that she did agree to come home with me because of killing the vibe, and that she would have otherwise?
- When she said she didn't want to come home with me I didn't push at all. Other times when I did push it backfired horribly. In this case, I just hugged her goodbye without even kissing her - I just wasn't feeling it after she told me about fucking a stranger in the bathroom just before rejecting me. What could have I done differently here? Should I have avoided trying to get her back to my place at all after killing the vibe? Was it a bad move to not kiss her goodbye?
javiercer20 5y ago
You guys over complicate things here. The fellow here fucked up really bad with this girl, he called her a bitch and to make things worst, when she brought the “casual sex with a guy I just meet” idea and this guy talked about some skydiving thing... I mean
Don’t focus on changing her mood for you to fuck her once you offended her, just be aware of what you doing. You gotta keep it real and be natural at all times, don’t overcompensate attitudes. TRP is not a cocky attitude or an alpha arrogant guide, it’s all about trusting yourself, being honest and comfortable with who you are, some times situations will push to be more aggressive/radical/playful/relaxed etc etc that’s the real DGAF mindset.
CallTheCrows 5y ago
MY thoughts. If I cant jokingly call a girl a materialistic bitch on the first date shes not right for me anyway. By the sounds of it she actually was a materialistic bitch and it hit close to home, using someone for handbags lmao get lost. Probably wasn't the bitch part that got her, but more the materialistic.
What you could have done different is not act like yourself to try to be what she wants on the first date. By the sounds of it you were more than she could handle anyway. Also looks like you know what you're doin and soon you'll come to realize (if you dont already) no matter how perfect you think your game is that night/day, the odd girl will avoid your sheets. So many different personality types its hard for one guy to be everything every girl ever wants.
Zefirez 5y ago
Oh btw i think the sun was in the wrong constallation when you dated, maybe that's why...
/**Sarcasm**
Seriously, it's plain as day she was a **slut** and a **materiallistic bitch**. She confessed so herself.
Want went wrong? Your subconcious self (which earned way more kudos then you deserve) had **dignity and self respect**. Something your concious self could use.
It nailed her shit down without any lube ("Materiallistic bitch" and "I rather meant bungee jumping"), exposing without any mercy her true nature.
What can you do better? Look for more decent women. Try as you might, it's clear your inner self wants no part of hoes, else you'd pretend you didn't hear the model bit and stayed quiet on the toilet sex story.
magx01 5y ago
I'm not saying it was the right move but really, you didn't even call her a bitch. "Sounds like" is not saying she is.
Splitting hairs at this point though I guess. Side effect of being half auty
chazthundergut 5y ago
Sounds like you've outgrown TRP for a bit.
Dont lose your cocky swagger, but definitely tone it down a notch.
fuibbles 5y ago
She probably would've gone home with you if you payed the bill.
tayowsp 5y ago
Why do you say that? I thought that's one of the worst things you can do on the first date as it shows that you're BB
fuibbles 5y ago
I'd usually agree but in this context where you'd called her out for being a materialistic bitch, it would have been something to smooth things over and show you weren't all talk.
BornShook 5y ago
You should've apologized. I know everyone here would say to never apologize but thats bullshit. This is a situation apoligizing would've been the best move. But don't do it like a lil bitch. Say something along the lines of "alright chill, Im sorry."
m4ch1ina 5y ago
“Wow, you’re such a bitch,” and “you sound like a materialistic bitch” are too wildly different statements.
One sounds like a playful neg. The other sounds incredibly insulting and even a little vicious.
Here’s a rule of thumb. If you’re gonna tease a girl, don’t call her character into question. That can become touchy very quickly.
Push/pull. Always balance your teases with an opposing statement. “That shirt you’re wearing is so weird! I love it!”
“You’re such a bitch.” Broad smile, playful shove. But I’m an asshole myself so we’ll get along.” Laugh, pull her closer.
“Bitch” can be easily made playful. “Materialistic bitch?” Not so much.
ZaphodBeeblebrows 5y ago
Wow big surprise I thought all women want that, right? You guys are a riot
Andgelyo 5y ago
I’m very playful, but I would never ever ever call a girl a bitch, especially on a first date. Imagine some girl calling you a faggot the first time meeting her. It’s probably the same thing to them lmao
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DadOnDabs 5y ago
It's all about tone. You shouldn't have backed down though and you're response could have been better.
"Did you just call me a bitch?"
"Yes"
Then pull her in to make out.
I've called girls bitch, cunt, hoe, on a first date and gotten away with it. I just make sure the context is right and that I say it in a clearly joking way (almost like a gay dude saying "you're such a bitch") but then following up by making out with her or escalating in some fashion.
ebaymasochist 5y ago
I'm surprised that no one here has pointed out the biggest lesson of all: When a girl talks about having model friends, who gives a fuck if she uses them for free shit?
You insulted the magic plate who could have opened you up to a whole new world of models. Casually date her and build an entire social circle that can make you for life..
If this situation comes up again for anyone here, just be cool as fuck. This is not the time to cast petty judgement on the girl. If she said she were an agent for models, would your first instinct be "materialistic bitch"... God I fucking hope not.
Sometimes life sets you up for amazing things and anger/jealousy flushes it down the toilet
tayowsp 5y ago
I honestly just wanted to tease her and was expecting a playful angry response from her. My intention was teasing, not judging.
I wasn't angry, I was just operating under the mindset of "tease her to get her pussy wet".
Field_Of_View 5y ago
That's not holding frame. You were joking, then she made it serious, then you responded seriously. That's her frame you immediately adopted. Holding frame would have meant ignoring her seriousness and laughing it off, telling her to relax, it's just a joke etc.
This might seem like a nitpick but I think it's important that you realize when exactly you broke frame.
Random guess: Your tone with the bitch comment might have already been not-joking-enough. Maybe you were already worried about a bad reaction before it even happened and your voice got tense. That could make a big difference because it then sounds like you're only half-joking, like, "haha I'm calling you out but you can't get mad at me". That seems to be how she took it any way.
tayowsp 5y ago
Thanks for your perspective. Doesn't saying "relax, it was just a joke" fall into DEER?
Field_Of_View 5y ago
I guess it's technically an "explanation", but if you deliver it in the same joking tone as the remark that triggered her then you're taking the air out of her frame of this being a serious situation where she gets to act insulted. It sure beats doubling down on an insult you didn't even mean. I'm not so sure I buy "don't DEER" as a golden rule without exceptions. I agree with holding frame as a rule of thumb, but that doesn't mean doubling down on misunderstandings. Sometimes we make mistakes and we're not impressing anyone by refusing to apologize in those situations. Sometimes she will genuinely misunderstand you and not be "shit-testing". And sometimes you'll say something that's just wrong and stupid and you can tell a second after you say it. If you turn all of those situations into power plays I don't think you win anything in the long run. Meh.
oytrp 5y ago
Don't listen to what they say, watch what they do.
She said she was upset by being called a bitch - BUT she let you continue to escalate
She said she wasn't going home with you... BUT if you navigated this basic ASD she would have wound up in your bedroom.
tayowsp 5y ago
Any resource/tips on how to beat the kind of ASD I encountered without seeming needy or changing my own plans?
Should have I just insisted?
oytrp 5y ago
You probably could have lowered her ASD by pushing more during the date. It puts her in more of a frame where she is chasing you. Once she is in the mode of pursuer, she is more likely to jump at your invitation.
But in that moment, she basically just said she is down for public sex. You could have just escalated even further. If she is horny enough, she's not going to turn down the invitation, especially when you gave her plausible deniability.
tayowsp 5y ago
I struggle with pushing, I've never had a girl initiate a makeout or sex on a date. They might do light kino on me but anything else requires me to take the lead.
Would love to be pointed to material regarding effective push/pull and how to make her the pursuer.
oytrp 5y ago
Tons of examples if you use the search bar.
Things like pulling away from a make out first. Or after having already kissed her, going in close like your going to kiss her again and then pull away.
There are entire topics made by ECs on here if you search for it.
tayowsp 5y ago
I literally did both these things on the date. I will search for more...
Flintblood 5y ago
I find I get better results smugly grinning and slyly letting on that I am "on to her" then just coming out with a neg right out of the gate, or insult.
Leonidas_79 5y ago
I stopped reading at “I broke frame”
always_sad12 5y ago
Dude come on. You’re over analyzing this. You called a girl a bitch. I don’t care if you’re gigachad with Justin Bieber frame, don’t do that. Just don’t call a girl a bitch next time.
Kevin19Fish 5y ago
Calling her materialistic with a smile is good.
Calling her a bitch is bad.
Next time you go on a first date call her a fat ugly whore and write another report on how it went.
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[deleted] 5y ago
This is the only comment we need on this thread. Succinctly said. Pack it up folks, we're going home.
TRPDigesting 5y ago
Reminds me of,
“Maaaan!! You are one pathetic loser! Hahah... no offense.”
cornylamygilbert 5y ago
"pshhhh none taken!"
lol Dumb & Dumber?
this quote is great even outta context
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SwoleyMoleyFrijoley 5y ago
Newbies take note the last sentence of this reply is a good example of Agree and Amplify in practice.
swaglordobama 5y ago
Words don't matter. It's all delivery and context.
tayowsp 5y ago
You're right. Even if it worked once it doesn't mean it's a good idea to insult a girl so quickly, even when joking with a visible grin.
I will avoid doing this in the future.
The main reason I'm this overconfident and "aggressive" is because I have this fear in my mind of "acting too beta" and not being seen in a sexual light. I am scared that if I say something nice I will not be able to turn her on, and that if I don't constantly tease her she won't get wet.
This mentality makes me over-do negging, pushing, and being confident in general. How can I avoid this and be confident/pushing with a correct balance?
cornylamygilbert 5y ago
man I gotta point out that if she said "that's it?" you def gave up over some LMR "I'm not coming to your place"
you still had a chance you just needed to rebound better from calling her a bitch.
she was making out with you and getting groped in public, I think her rando first date bathroom fuck story was confirmation that she was DTF if you led her properly.
You broke frame. It happens. You were doing good then let guilt overpower you.
You were only a bad date for not putting out. Her reaction to being called a bitch was a shit test.
tayowsp 5y ago
I had another date say the same thing once, and I pushed a few more times to no avail. What could have I done to pull her home after she said that without looking needy?
ACaimonLizardPerson 5y ago
It didn't "work once".
In one instance, you playfully called her a bitch after she slapped you. which is entirely plausibly and sufficiently playful.
In this instance she told you a story or revealed something personal about her \~*\~feelings\~*\~ and you called her a bitch.
Apples and oranges dude. Was a really stupid thing to do.
In one instance you come off as joking and in the other you come off as laying down judgement on her character.
[deleted] 5y ago
You care too much. Worry more about yourself/TRP and less about game.
life_is_dumb 5y ago
I think you mean overcompensating, not overconfident. In other words, it's not coming from a natural place. That's why it didn't work.
You can't act your way through this shit, it has to come from a natural place born out of confidence.
tayowsp 5y ago
Unfortunately that's my biggest problem right now. I have a decent life, a great high-paying job, decent looks (would say slightly above average)... but I've always had trouble with girls and social situations and that makes me very unconfident.
Every time I fail with a girl I feel even less confident. Every time I succeed I feel a rush of happiness and well-being. I'm dependent on this shit. However, the number of failures is astronomically higher than the number of successes, so I am constantly in a state of self-deprecation.
As sad as it sounds, I would drop all the other good things I have in life to be able to be good with girls. I've grown up around friends that never had trouble having LTRs or fucking hot girls, and I've always resented that. I can't help but compare myself to them every time I interact with a girl.
Every time I fuck up or get rejected I feel like I am not good enough.
The only way I can act confident and "alpha" on a date is if I shut part of my brain off and just focus on "following TRP, holding frame, faking confidence". As you can see from my post sometimes this backfires.
I am doing CBT for my confidence issues but it's not really helping much. I just want to consistently succeed with girls, want to feel like I am sexually desired.
I think I won't be able to fully believe in myself until that happens, and every stupid mistake I make is a roadblock.
sexking9669 5y ago
Listen to gangsta rap, which at its core provides you with the most red pill advice ever, FUCK BITCHES, GET MONEY.
And I know this sounds messed up, but just legit look for a flaw in her and use that to make you remember she’s no better than you. It’s one of the first things I do when I get a little flustered talking to a girl, which rarely happens nowadays but it really works. Like if she’s wearing open toed shoes, see if she has a fucked up toe or something, or if she smiles look to see if she has something wrong with her teeth. It makes you feel better, and if shit goes left with the bitch you’ve got an instant comeback to her putdown. The key to any good comeback vs a woman is to make sure your comeback is accurate and realistic.
Her: You’re a loser and your dick is little.
You: Your left toe is creepy and you’ve got big ass feet.
But bro, don’t let girls dictate how you feel about yourself. Your own self-worth is more precious than whatever magical pussy out there. When I get flustered by a girl just think, am I really going to let this bitch control me right now?
If you’re the man I think you are deep inside, you already know the answer to that question.
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seducter 5y ago
This sounds exactly like my situation and its really fucking with me.
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tayowsp 5y ago
Happy to chat sometime if you're up for it. Feel free to pm
cesar-perez 5y ago
pick up a sport. mma maybe
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Razkolol 5y ago
So basically she was dtf and you decided to overgame. Why the fuck are you still gaming if you're already making out with her? Just keep quiet and arrange for logistics, talk about puppies or something. It's so annoying to read shit like this when you guys have logistics covered, some of us have logistics as #1 sticking point while you morons have it covered but decide to call the girl a gold-digging whore just for lols. Meet> build rapport > escalate > logistics> fuck. Op decided to spice things up xD
ebaymasochist 5y ago
"just learn how to take yes for an answer"
SoulOf1Lion 5y ago
well you were just stating a fact by calling her a bitch, so dont even feel bad about it
ShotgunTRP 5y ago
Too literal with your retorts getting sucked into her frame
Don’t phrase things as questions
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MentORPHEUS Endorsed Contributor 5y ago
This is called DEERing. Don't DEER. (Defend, explain, excuse, rationalize.)
Sounds like someone with at least one Women's Studies semester under her belt, and/or a favored or only child with a thin skin and no bantering skills. Turning pouty for an extended period is a kind of passive aggression, which is something I have a very difficult time accepting even in small doses.
I'm older and make a good living; skittles game doesn't work well in this context. My philosophy is to engage the SMP on a cash basis, or quid pro quo.
Two or more strong makeout sessions on the first date represents a value, and two rounds of drinks is an acceptable price to me even if it doesn't lead to an F-close. In this case, I suspect it may have smoothed the way forward for a hookup or plate relationship, but she's already thrown too many LTR red flags.
Like a boss! Another red flag- she expected you to keep pushing and pursuing in the face of her intransigence, and then was genuinely surprised when you didn't follow along with that dangerous game. That kind of deceit and manipulativeness can also be parlayed into deciding the consensual sex was actually rape after you stop contacting her.
Negging is playing with fire when you haven't built much rapport and history with the person, and your banter is still a bit rough-hewn. Think of being in a retail store where there is some annoying delay. If you insult or berate the cashier, it will always be received negatively. Insult the COMPANY instead, making it your common enemy, and the groundwork is set for positive banter and a better outcome. The concept of "punching up, not down" may help dial it in too.
Noblefiz 5y ago
I’m so glad somebody referenced LiveAFTSOVs DARE/DEER post.
MentORPHEUS Endorsed Contributor 5y ago
What's a LiveAFTSOV? The concept of DEER has been around a long time.
LiveAFTSOV 5y ago
I am a LiveAFTSOV. The concept has been around for long time, yet for a strange reason not one person has fleshed it out with simple to understand and detailed examples, or provided an alternative.
I did, and now it's on the front page of the top all time posts on this subreddit.
LiveAFTSOV 5y ago
Always DARE never DEER bitches. Real recognize real. Thanks man.
Noblefiz 5y ago
Anytime man. Somehow I missed your TRP Gems the other week and I’m devouring that shit right now. Keep up the good work
llDUNN 5y ago
What would you have said in response to her materialism? What would be the "COMPANY" in this instance?
MentORPHEUS Endorsed Contributor 5y ago
Scoff at the concept of materialism, or materialistic bitches in general, giving her an "out" to distinguish herself from "them."
Frankly, on second read, he should maybe have doubled down with some agree and amplify. "Welp... Materialistic bitch is as materialistic bitch does." in a bemused tone. I'd mentally check out of the date the moment she said something so egregious.
llDUNN 5y ago
I would have went internal as soon as I heard that shit too. Depending on how badly I'd want to fuck her, I may have just called her out immediately. I don't give a fuck, fuck her. I think if you said the latter of your comment it could have ended worse haha. Like I said though, who gives a shit if she leaves?
JamesSkepp 5y ago
You're on a date with a Tinder girl. Why the fuck would you even want to "respond to her materialism"? You're there to fuck not to debate the fine points of modern world in the philosophical context.
llDUNN 5y ago
I like arguing though, it gives me energy. Even homie whom I'm trying to even endorsed that lmao. At this point, I'm all about setting a bitch straight. I've fucked so much this last year that I could go a year focusing on myself and not care if i had sex for a while. Everyone's different, I despise women. I fuck them out of spite. If I fuck a date up for the sake of making fun of her, or getting into some heated argument and making her hate me. Then I've won. Because in the end, I'm still fucking other bitches left and right. I'm not gonna cry over spilled pussy.
JamesSkepp 5y ago
You should get out of anger phase and start working on yourself to actually arrive in a place when people (especially women) won't challenge you on trivial stuff. That's b/c if you're as accomplished as you want to to be, you have nothing to prove to anyone and thus you don't need to put anyone down even as far as ignoring people who challenge you and/or are blatantly wrong. Do you imagine Brad Pitt arguing with a girl over anything?
llDUNN 5y ago
You are right to a degree. I get where you're coming from. However, we are but strangers to one another. Knowing nothing about me, I'm not angry in life because of women. It's because of people, women just take a higher seat in that throne of anger. I've been working on myself, I don't have any desire for women presently. I honestly don't have anything to prove to anyone. I'm emotionally unavailable to all things. It's all going to come together, in time. Just like it is for all of us.
mette13 5y ago
Your push-and-pull game needs work. You should have pushed her by being loving and caring. As soon as she drops a shit-test, start pulling. Ignore and start DGAF attitude and throw in a little laughter.
After the shit tests die down, start acting beta and she'll drop a comfort test usually along the lines of "You don't even like me." Say something stupid in return like "You're right, I only like cute things. Oh hey, you're cute."
It's imperative you pass the comfort test. This is my own experience after I mistakenly or purposely kill the vibe with an LTR and a few plates.
Jon_Tren_Yin 5y ago
Pretty sure you switched them. A push is when you push their feelings away, aka ignore and such, and pull is when you pull them in, via emotions and love
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mette13 5y ago
From my experience, it's not about being direct, it's about the tone you have while passing her test. A playful tone usually does the trick.
I also act like what she said is ridiculous. For example, if she said "Man, you dont even like me." I'd start smiling and say something like "okay, you're right, I spend money and time and kiss girls I don't like." But I make sure and sound playful, NOT SERIOUS. Maybe even poke her arms or something.
The key to passing comfort tests is providing comfort because she is believes at the moment your SMV is way higher than hers and you are a male she can't obtain. I'd reccomend reading other posts (if there are any) about comfort on here. It hasnt been covered alot and still comes down to what you find works best.
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mette13 5y ago
It depends on the scenario. Being direct and serious isn't always a bad response but it shows you are invested more/lack options. The playful tone comes from the DGAF attitude/abundance.
I'd save the serious attitude when it comes to comforting her after her seriously doubting you're affection for her and her needing a whole lot of comfort. I use the playful tone for small comfort tests if that makes sense.
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ariky 5y ago
You should have called her bitch again after she told you that she fucked a guy on the first date in a bathroom by saying “I was right then, you are a real bitch and I liked that”
trp_nofap_rewire2018 5y ago
That’s what excessive RP theory does. Tone it down and act more like both of you are human beings.
There’s a huge gap between being naturally alpha and coming off as an ass. You sound like the latter.
MrCarepig 5y ago
I dont think you can jokingly insult someone like that unless you know that said person really well.
tayowsp 5y ago
"Jokingly" as in doing it while smiling with a sarcastic tone. My body language made it clear I had no intention of offending her, but I cannot control how she reacts and she got offended.
Point taken though, will not do this again with someone I barely know.
Morphs_ 5y ago
Always calibrate. With some women you can banter hard, but build it up so you find the threshold when she'll feel offended, without crossing it.
I once called a girl at a party a whore in a joking manner but uncalibrated, she slapped me.
AbbyNormalJr 5y ago
I don't think you can say something that is largely true and then refer to it as sarcastic. Sarcasm would be more along the lines of... "totally get it... I usually only date models for the free swag myself..." or "that's funny because Im actually only hanging out with you tonight in hopes that you'd give me [nice belonging previously discussed] or something else UNTRUE. I think the point is largely to catch her by surprise rather than answering in the same way every other guy has when she told the same story to them (which she assuredly has).
kalashnick 5y ago
If other guys were in your situation that night I'm sure it all would have played down the same way. Stuff like that is unforeseeable sometimes. I don't think there's anything you could have done. Don't sweat it. Good that you moved on.
gbdoragnic 5y ago
Here is a tip, it's never ok to make fun of someone for who they are, only make fun of their ego.
Negging is making fun of someone's ego, I would never make fun of a girl on her period.
but I will make fun of a girl who says periods are suppose to be seen as beautiful and the reason we don't is because of the patriarchy.
Met a girl who believed this, I made fun of her ego, she even went as for to say she had period jars, and kept her blood. This was of course bullshit, and I made fun of her bullshit.
hinge 5y ago
Could you give some examples of ego vs who they are?
uffdauff 5y ago
Not OP, but take feminism for example.
If she says, "I'm a feminist because the patriarchy is bullshit", this is an idea in her head that sounds neat and she's not really attached to because she doesn't really understand it in the first place. Go hog wild and give her reasons why (modern) feminism is a joke.
But if she gives indications she's a feminist through personal experience, "I had an abusive father so I'm careful about the kind of men I keep company with because women need to protect themselves", tread lightly. If you start trashing feminism it's deeply attached to her personal history. This would not end well.
Just an example. Her saying the latter is a huge red flag and I would gtfo anyway.
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tato_tots 5y ago
There is definitely a correlation between abuse and mental health disorders but I have met people who were never abused or traumatized in any way that have mental health disorders regardless.
Having a mental health disorder doesn't automatically make you insane. If she was abused and currently participates in healthy activities (exercise, therapy, hobbies, etc.) to stay well then I see no reason to hold it against her.
If a person is actively not trying to better themself (abused or not) that is a red flag.
uffdauff 5y ago
It's a red flag. If we were in a relationship and she confided in me, I likely wouldn't drop her out of nowhere. But if she's telling me about abuse on a first date, why would I take on a huge risk that she has severe emotional issues? It's not about her, it's about me protecting myself.
tato_tots 5y ago
I do agree it would be odd to tell someone you've been abused on a first date, but I wouldn't assume that they have severe emotional issues because of it. I also agree that it's important that the relationship is healthy for both people. I misunderstood your comment and thought you meant that you would never date an abused woman, sorry.
Nocryingok 5y ago
It's not what you say, but HOW you say it. You could call her a bitch as a joke, which is not the case here. Example of a flirt: I bet you dumped your last boyfriend... you're such a bad bitch!
What you did was more of a neg, which I'm not fond of. I prefer to dread as a push tactic than negging. Remember : actions speak louder than words.
tayowsp 5y ago
My intention was teasing her, I expected her to react by jokingly hitting me saying something on the lines of: "how dare you!".
I thought my delivery and body language made it obvious that I was not insulting her, but something went wrong in the process.
I guess I just didn't read her well enough and that I didn't think about my words too carefully
Bear-With-Bit 5y ago
Always be willing to admit a mistake --just once-- but also be willing show the door.
Srv110398 5y ago
Much of the redpill knowledge is about whay you must not do rather than what you must do. Easy, tease her but don't compromise yourself in that kind of situations in your first date, maybe later you can call her a bitch once she gets comfortable and understands better the context. However, remember women are emotional so it don't really matter what you meant with the joke, if she feels that you are offending her she will respond accordingly, don't be surprised.
simplisticallysimple 5y ago
This is a silly model I never understand. Why not just ask the girl over? You force her to reveal her cards right away. I exclusively ask girls to come over and don't do "dates," and I believe many intermediate/advanced guys here do the same. Girls on dating apps are DTF. Why bother with the foreplay?
CasaDeFranco 5y ago
I wager the guy who fucked her in a bathroom called her worse things.
You're overthinking it.
Don't call her a bitch is good advice generally, but in the end, it depends on how attracted she is to you. Hold frame and work on yourself to build your value.
FixYourselfFirst 5y ago
New Sidebar Tip:
#358 - You cannot build attraction by calling the woman a bitch
SwoleyMoleyFrijoley 5y ago
My go-to "dick" joke on a first date that puts them in a sexual mindset and is "dangerous" in their mind is
"Do you know how I know I'm getting laid tonight? Wait for them to say No "Because I'm stronger than you" with a look that says I want to eat her alive. It scrambles their brain.
tayowsp 5y ago
Not sure if you're serious. Did this ever backfire?
SwoleyMoleyFrijoley 5y ago
Dead serious. Never backfired. You have to have the cocky-funny attitude to pull it off but when it's done correctly, they laugh, or say something flirty like "oh yeah? Prove it" and it sets their mind to thinking about being "taken" almost against their will.
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ebaymasochist 5y ago
It works really well if they just got done telling a story of how their friend was raped and murdered recently
SwoleyMoleyFrijoley 5y ago
It's all about how you say it. Attractiveness and confidence is the difference between flirting and "being creepy". Don't assume that just because you're a neckbeard who can't pull that off, that nobody can pull it off.
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Giant-__-Otter 5y ago
It's not one of your questions, but cut it out with the first-date-bathroom-fclose she experienced. Don't read much into it, don't compare your date to that one in the past and was different for a myriad of factors, perhaps with a guy of higher SMV, another context (was she a bit drunk, in the middle of ovulation week, getting out of a relationship), etc. Get it out of your head. Focus on how your game is, and how you can improve it.
As to the bitch thing, I think you realised after discussing with other members here that it was all a calibration problem. Fantastic! Now you know what not to do. If the girl rarely uses expletives and/or seems to have low self-esteem, be on your guard. An alpha female that is OK with self-deprecation? Green light.
JamesSkepp 5y ago
Yes, first of all NEVER explain yourself in that kind of situation. Hold frame, change subject or pull ("relax, i don't really think you're a matrialistic bitch..." pause here) and push ("...that much").
Besides explaining yourself, you did good with frame holding, she went with you, she made out, she was DTF despite the misstep (not a mistake really).
You're a non-materialistic bitch on the other hand. She allows you to escalate in public place after you insult her, then she tells you that she fucked a dude in a public bathroom WHILE you're escalating on her in a public place. Connect the dots, she was DFT the whole time. You told her that you meant skydiving - that's what killed the vibe b/c you showed her you can't read her signals at all. Should have tried to pull her to your place. Or tried the public bathroom.
coolredpill 5y ago
i honestly feel this is the case
despite him calling her a materialistic bitch that he thinks was the failing point, if he got past the "im not going to your place" ASD at the end, he couldve probably taken her home and smashed
tayowsp 5y ago
How can I do that after she says "I am not coming back to your place" with a dead serious tone? Trying to convince her sounds really needy
coolredpill 5y ago
Lol listen to what the endorsed member already told you below
Im inclined to believe you couldve taken her home based on the fact that
-you guys made out even after u called her a materialistic bitch. If that was indeed the fuck up point there wouldve been no make out session later on
-she talked about sex. As you say, you were expecting her to say something like skydiving or some similar activity but she mentioned when she had sex with some other dude out of the blue
Girls dont talk about sex like that unless they thought about having sex with you.
tayowsp 5y ago
Alright, that makes sense. I was put off by the "bitch" mistake and by comparing myself to the guy she fucked in the bathroom, thinking I was not good enough for a first date fuck.
I also tried being persistent to pull a girl over other times, and it never worked well.
I am still not sure what the best thing would have been yesterday - I made it clear that I was going to go home on my own terms and that she was welcome to join me. Therefore staying out for longer just to try and convince her would have been a terrible choice IMHO.
I could have simply tried 1-2 more times after the rejection, saying something like "I have a nice bathroom at my place though, you're missing out" or "you also need to make me listen to that band you mentioned, my place is just 5 minutes away".
Wouldn't have hurt to try 1-2 more times, but what is done is done.
coolredpill 5y ago
Yep another bitch will swing by ur way soon
Who likes materialistic bitches anyway
Good riddance
tayowsp 5y ago
I did try pulling her to my place, but she said "I am not going to your place" in a serious tone. I assumed that pushing more would have just been needy and ineffective.
How should I have escalated further after she said no?
dirk_e_diggler 5y ago
There's a lot of ways you could have taken this, but the frame should remain amused mastery. I wouldn't have tried to get her back by saying I was going to make myself icecream, but once you took that tact you couldn't just give up on it. When her response was "I am not going to your place", you could have smirked and said "Who said anything about my place?". You could then either leave it at that, or amplify further: "The icecream is at a female friend's place." After any of this, then you could redirect: "Then again, I'm sure we can find a random bathroom around here."
JamesSkepp 5y ago
Vibe more, escalate more try again under a pretext and dismiss her "no" as if she hadn't said it - it's almost always a shit test, very rarely a statement of commitment not to fuck you.
Try seeding the pull next time: early in the interaction you say something like "i got xyz thing at home, i'm eager to get back too". You're watching a great movie, you have vinyl records, guitar, in fact anything to give her a ASD reason why she's coming back.
fitnesspm 5y ago
You did nothing wrong bro. Hoes are sensitive where she clearly has issues cause she couldn't let it go! Hoes get upset about nothing all the time.
A normal person would let it slide where if someone is still rude over a period of time it's where a normal person would walk away.
Show confidence and lead. Cocky should be limited to a couple times on a first date to get her juices flowing. Remember she is on the date cause she likes you, just need to close now.
Borsao66 5y ago
There's negging and there's being a douchebag.
If you'd left it at "Sounds kinda materialistic" you'd have probably been ok. But you went straight past that.
tayowsp 5y ago
Definitely fucked up here and learned a lesson. I tend to behave over-confidently and more like a douchebag on dates as I have this constant thought in my head that says "don't be beta don't be beta".
I think I need to take it more easy and avoid negging that could be offensive.
magx01 5y ago
Go for funny/teasing not insulty/teasing. Example: "Yo grab me a nice purse next time she hooks you up. Something to set off my eyes." Something like that.
Don't teach them or put them on the back foot. Just make them laugh.
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Nutman-maddog 5y ago
You live, you learn. Are you going to make that same mistake again? Probably not. Are you going to make a mistake again? yes, probably. It is human.
Get rid of that voice. It is only going to encourage you to apply TRP tactics on an autistic level. You will come across as lacking in social skills because of it.
Don't get rid of the confidence. The 16 commandments of poon say to be irrationally self confident for a reason. Instead focus on the correct context. Don't neg unless you are certain that she won't take offence to the neg. It helps when you know eachother a bit better.
PM_Me_OK 5y ago
You needed to say you were just joking, don't be insensitive and double down on it just to try to look cool. It usually backfires.
Borsao66 5y ago
Law 4: Always Say Less than Necessary
There are times when it is unwise to be silent. Silence can arouse suspicion and even insecurity, especially in your superiors; a vague or ambiguous comment can open you up to interpretations you had not bargained for. Silence and saying less than necessary must be practiced with caution, then, and in the right situations.
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This is my current method of practice; that is to say I just started practicing this. I've seen some positive results. I think the idea is to not appear you're in deep thought or anything suspicious. You still want to be engaged in group conversation and the like, just less so with your voice. Don't sit in a corner and plot how you're going to do x y or z to some girl you want.
People can usually read your thoughts from your face.
Youngyoda89 5y ago
Calling her a materialistic bitch sounds like you have a chip on your shoulder. It sounds like you have anger towards women. That’s like calling a black guy a nigger (not nigga). You used the word in a hateful way.
Like - you sound like a materialistic BITCH!!!
You could have said - oh so your a materialistic bitch?
But honestly I wouldn’t reccomend either. Don’t be mad at her for being a hoe. Who cares. You’re too invested and imo that’s where you fucked up.
A better option would be to respond with “nice” and then change the subject to something you want to talk about.
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Youngyoda89 5y ago
Like I said- caring about whether she’s materialistic or not, awalt, is too much investment. There’s no reason to say anything negative about women bc you’ve already accepted awalt; you’ve seen it all a thousand times. You’re not angry at women bc since you’ve accepted they’re all like this- you don’t give a shit anymore
Demiurge_Decline 5y ago
Gents this is what you get when you listen to random joes online proclaiming stuff like "yeah wymen love to be disrespected and called sluuts!. Just be a chad like me and hold your frame!" ...only to logoff reddit and turn on the video game console that is still hot from the 5 hour session earlier...
Use common sense. Disrespective behavior can only by used on 9 and 10's and then you still have to have fineese to pull it off.
This reads like a try hard bad PUA method and you memorized lines and body language - but not the principles of Red Pill. Even down to the tantrum at the end when you ghosted her before she can ghost you. Even going right into sex talk on first date. All of this tells me you need to refrain from taking this stuff to heart and read between the lines...
Why did she feel offended? You called her a B*... real life is different than the falsetto alphas online peacocking...
eyewant 5y ago
You sound like a total prude.
Yup. Youre a prude.
Anyway, it depends on the tone. My friends playfully call each other bitches all the time. Now with a stranger its different, but this is supposed to be a date filled with playful fun. But he did fuck up his wording, very badly.
2comment 5y ago
Your response feels like you're doubling down on the insult or at least negativity and so she's gonna double down on her stubborness and self-righteousness in feeling insulted. Hence her subsequent followups feeling offended deepens. Girls call each other worse all the time without batting an eye but it's the dynamic involved and not the actual words.
If you had responded something like "Yeah, I usually wait til the third date for that, but I feel your special", or just a simple "Yeah, that means I like you. Wait till you hear what I call my mom." it all might have played off better.
Keeping frame doesn't mean sticking your feet into the mud twice as deep at every step.
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Invalidity 5y ago
There's nothing wrong with calling a woman a bitch so long as it is done playfully. It's easier to throw the word around with women who are more comfortable with you, because they know you well enough that you aren't saying it offensively.
You took a chance with a complete stranger. It's not recommended but it's fine. You failed when you tried to explain yourself. If you feel the urge to explain yourself, do so only in a professional environment when it is appropriate. In all other situations, never explain yourself. You don't need to.
And secondly, you're feeding into her frame of being upset. She threw a tantrum, yet she still stuck it out with you. Yes, you spent too much time talking. You literally try to "fix" the atmosphere by starting up banter. You fed into her frame. Had you simply continued to escalate or gone cold, you could have re-calibrated.
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tayowsp 5y ago
You have a point. When she reacted, I immediately thought "I should hold frame here". However, after teasing her on her sensibility, she still looked genuinely sad/offended, as if she was disappointed that I said that especially when everything was going so well.
I felt like she really wanted to fuck me but could not bring herself to do it after she felt disrespected, and that she didn't leave immediately because she felt attracted... but she was probably thinking something like "if I fuck this guy I have no respect for myself, even if he's hot".
What should have I done instead of explaining myself? She literally looked at me like I just murdered someone and asked "did you just really call me a bitch?"
The impression I got from her body language was that if I said "yes" or tried to keep teasing her it would have made it worse.
What would you have done in this situation? I do not care about this particular girl but I find this scenario really interesting, would like to get more feedback on how I could have held frame without making the situation worse.
Invalidity 5y ago
You're making excuses for her. Don't.
She had her guard up after you explained why you called her a bitch. The fact that she continued to make out with you indicates that she would've been down for more. What you should have done was continue to push and pull.
You're not good enough for her to fuck in a bathroom stall. So even when you she told you that "crazy" story, she shared it with you because you asked her about it. She didn't share with you because she was comfortable with you and hinting at anything. It's when a girl says, "I'm not going to have sex with you", before it even comes up that is a hint.
What impression of her body language? You've gotta stop rationalizing her actions. All you need to do is focus on what you want to do.
In this situation, if I had called her a bitch just like you did and she blew up on me, I would have gone along with it. I would've changed the subject without making it awkward like when people go, "Anyway..." You just gotta roll with it. You've got to build up your confidence to the point where you say whatever it is that you feel and don't give a shit what other people think (only applicable to social situations, not professional situations).
reinesupreme 5y ago
The fact that she continued to make out with him highlights her desperation and low self esteem. Nothing more or less.
llDUNN 5y ago
Doesn't matter homie, on to the next one. You may not have gotten that one, but there are plenty more to be fucked in a bathroom. She obviously said that to spite you and be a bitch. She was upset you didn't pay for her, she didn't pay for you though lmao. It's a hit or miss on the "bitch" slur. It's very situational, and no doubt you would have railed her. You did everything well, and towards the end she played hard to get by saying she's not going home with you. I still believe you could have coerced her into it. Because of you note, she said "that's it?" When you told her you were dipping out. There was definitely potential to bang her.
Lol you should have told her you were making ice cream in your bathroom lmfao. It reminds me of a girl who was very good looking I fucked up with. I fucked up at the last minute. Her date ghosted her and she drove to my city like 30 minutes. We walked and talked together and I walked her to her car and asked if she's driving back to Middleburg(knowing she had been drinking). Well, I was drunk and she said yes she was. I got a bit offended because I expected her to want to tag along with me. So I abruptly said goodbye and walked the fuck away haha. I did that because I wasn't going to beg her. I could have asked her to come home with me knowing she was drunk. But I just didnt care and left because I'm not going to ask if she's not. Or play into her game for me to ask. I regret it to this day because had I, i would have screwed her together like IKEA furniture. She was a babe.
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DocZTheRockstar 5y ago
I'm thinking the same thing. I'd have walked away. I would've frowned at that behavior and she would probably look for approval from you.
Being a friend to someone for a handbag is super shallow but hey, guess that's how woman operate. LOL! What kind of crap is that? What if I was friends with a dude cause he always had a full refrigerator?
LazarosVas 5y ago
That whore didn't deserve your D brother.
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Nihev 5y ago
Yeah that was pretty stupid
priapula 5y ago
I doubt you actually offended her. You just failed the shit test
tayowsp 5y ago
Her body language and reaction made me believe she was genuinely offended/disappointed, as if she was having a good time and it was ruined by saying something stupid.
What would you have done? If it was indeed a shit test, how could have I passed it?
graffix13 5y ago
I would have shrugged and say "I offend a lot of people. You're not my first and you won't be my last" then change the subject. Explaining yourself just allowed her more time to victimize it.
SkorchZang 5y ago
Man, that's tragic. Girl was really hurt by it, and sounds like she was loving her time with you till you ghetto-bombed all her optimism.
This type of thing happens to me as well now and then, women being unable to follow the joke and mistaking humourous spices for horrible poison I'm trying to get them to imbibe. What I learned to do is to never shirk from it, do not allow her to just sweep it under the carpet like it didn't happen. Let her try to change the subject, but then stare at her with genuine concern and care. Say something that confirms you know exactly what she's thinking/feeling: "listen I feel bad, you were really hurt when I said that, weren't you? Hope you can forgive me, I got a potty mouth babe, but never meant any harm by it." Extend your hand or some other form of kino to her: "Fistbump of Forgiveness?" Smile at her, if she lights up and giggles, you got a good girl and she has just forgiven you everything and probably even likes you more for it, since she got to see a different side of you.
Never "apologize". This is not apologizing, this is you, still charming the hell out of her, despite the situation being bad for you. You don't get on your knees and take anything back, you simply make it clear that your masculine affection toward her is still there, that you don't see her as a useless chunk of fuckmeat. Emphasize this affection, not the actual issue or apologizing for it. You don't care if she ever says "I forgive you", you care that she feels bright and smiley again inside, and notices how you noticed how she was feeling even though she didn't want to say anything about it.
banelord1976 5y ago
I dont think your.smv was high enough to get away with this. The douchbag out strip any attraction she had...i guess u played yourself.
JinxsLover 5y ago
Dude I've made this mistake before. I made a joke about how we need to exercise more she instantly goes did you call me fat. What the fuck I'm done you are such a jerk. Some girls cannot joke at all.
omega_fat 5y ago
This wasn't a mistake. You could have fucked her, now that would have been a mistake.
JinxsLover 5y ago
Or worse a LTR with a psycho who can disguise it for a while
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it_takes_the_redpill 5y ago
I think you may have accidentally responded top level.
Edit: Oh, and fun fact I was reading a chapter of NMMNG earlier today Ana’s came across DEER there.
Noblefiz 5y ago
Totally did. Thanks for the call out.
it_takes_the_redpill 5y ago
My pleasure. Just didn't want you to come off sounding crazy :)
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ba77ab 5y ago
The word "bitch" in THAT situation with THAT girl was a mistake. But you didn't know that's how she was going to react. You were both vibing, she took offence at a minor slip and suckered you into a very difficult shit test to pass. You didn't pass, but you already know that and she wasn't coming back to your place after that. Forget about the kiss goodbye/no kiss goodbye it would have made no difference. You were escalating enough by the sounds of it and I think she would've come back with you without the bitch comment. It was a mistake on her but it definitely won't be on others. Do not beat yourself up about this one too much, its the only mistake you made on the date.
NeedingAdvice86 5y ago
I wouldn't downplay this nuclear mistake that easily....I mean he did atomize a girl who was used to fucking guys in the bathroom on the first date just because he was socially retarded enough to call a GIRL a "materialistic bitch".
It wasn't a small mistake...it was THE FUCKING mistake. It is like saying telling the pilot of an airplane that he flew a perfect flight except for the ONLY MISTAKE of not putting down the landing gear and flying the plane into the ground thereby killing all the passengers.
StrifePrevails 5y ago
The mistake was how he handled it afterwards, not the comment itself. Yes, he miscalibrated, but either he didn't give off the right vibe or she simply wasn't attracted enough. I use the word bitch so much it's not even an insult any more and that transmits because no one (guy or girl) has ever had a problem.
Granted, I don't live in the US so people are probably less sensitive here but on a date where they've been chatting for presumably hours and even made out, a light insult should not be a deal breaker. My guess is OP wasn't playful enough beforehand and the joke came out sounding like a serious critique
NeedingAdvice86 5y ago
Lots of argument trying to undo an already completed reality.....but then that is why so many autistic dipshits end up on TRP trying to figure out why they can't get a girl to fuck them......but keep on arguing.
The simple fact of the matter was that it never had to be said and added nothing to the interaction...the girl went from making out and talking about how she loved to fuck on the first date to closing her legs and nexting the dude.
So all the hamstering about tone, being badass TRP enough and the rest does not change the fact that IT NEVER HAD TO BE SAID AND HE WOULD HAVE BEEN FUCKING THIS CHICK INSTEAD OF ON REDDIT posting a lament that he fucked up a sure thing.
Go ahead and run the experiment I posed...call everyone of your FIRST DATES for the next month a "materialistic bitch" after she mentions something about money.....let us know how that works out for you. But gonna stop arguing about now....hard headed, stubborn autistics are rampant on TRP because they insist that they can do things the hard way\their way when it does not even need to be done.
No, the mistake was calling his FIRST DATE a "materialistic bitch".....but you keep wasting another hour\two\never having to recover from saying something stupid when you don't have say something obtuse...the Op could not recover.
Best_Chorizo 5y ago
Yeah but, in every situation, if you find what you're saying really funny, it is what matters.
I mean, if she's really attracted and if he's genuinely having fun while teasing her by calling her a bitch it shouldn't be a problem.
I guess at one point he maybe was too focus on the vibe, too afraid of killing it somehow and was listening to his brain while saying the word bitch, and maybe he was too stressed about keeping the frame at that moment and his body language showed weakness. She chose that moment to shit test him because he was in the wrong mindset.
AND maybe she wasn't really emotionally invested yet, maybe just aroused physically, and she waited a moment to throw a shit test.
Anyway for me the problem is not the word he used but probably more the mindset at that particular moment and the failed shit test that followed.
NeedingAdvice86 5y ago
Too many people still don't understand that there indeed some things that you don't fucking say on a first date....it has nothing to do with how you say it or how badass TRP you are in your delivery.
Telling these autistic retards that it is okay, you can say anything as long as you say it right is stupid and counterproductive but the hive mind that some endorsed dolt invented a humblebrag that they was so badass attractive they spent a whole first date night a few years ago calling an HB10, a slut, cunt, bitch, slurry skank and she just got wetter and wetter till she fucked him in the portapotty while her parents waited in their Mercedes outside Westminister Abbey becomes the standard go-too reply to very fuckup and stupid idiot statement by some poster mistake as some replier always pops up to say the same "it isn't the what you said but the say you say it" shit....of course, with the subtle implication that if the replier telling the newbie this advice had been there THEY would have been so fucking TRP badass and suave that the HB10 would have instantly dropped to her knees and blown his johnson in the club for his awesomeness for calling her a "materialistic bitch" with the proper vibe\chillness.....BULLSHIT, they would gotten the same reaction that the Op got....instant rejection\blueballs for the evening simply for being a socially uncallibrated retard and dipshit.
DropDeadTyrant 5y ago
as someone who got overly aggressive with a girl after reading those same posts, I totally agree. it's ok to lightly tease, but never insult a girl's character unless you're extremely close. i ruined a thing I had with a girl after doing that shit thinking, "I'm just doing what trp taught me". In actuality, I was misconstruing what trp teaches.
saucierlol 5y ago
Please learn to use punctuation
Best_Chorizo 5y ago
You're not getting what I'm saying. If the guy found what he says genuinely fun, and the girl reacts bad, then the good call is to disqualify her. She may be too dumb to realise that it was a joke, or too focus on herself and what she looks like, maybe she don't have the capacity to make fun of herself, anyway... You withdraw attention and you may even go back home with a just a good bye.
You can say anything to anyone, just look any comedian ffs. The right tone, the right intent, the right explanation, with that you can call a jew a fucking nazi and everyone laughs...
This guy just lost it for some reason, maybe she wasn't attracted enough, maybe he was afraid to kill the vibe that was really perfect and unconsciously ruined it. He got nervous and went full autistic.
edit : and basically telling him to ban words from his vocabulary will eventually totally ruin the vibe because of struggling with what is allowed to say and what is not. Game is all about inner beliefs, mood, energy, frame, teasing, escalating, being masculine.
NeedingAdvice86 5y ago
The example right in front of you along with other says otherwise but go ahead and believe otherwise......
Hell, run an experiment call every first date for the next month a "materialistic bitch" and let us know how it works out.....
You can write tons of field reports because you will have plenty of time since you won't be fucking any but the most thirsty\low SMV of these women.
This is simply stupid...when did TRP become about making shit unnecessarily difficult and harder? Why in hell would you want to go around insulting fucking people when you can just shut the hell up, get the fuck with a girl who is obviously down then move the hell on....instead of coming to reddit and posting about how you disqualified a girl because she didn't think you calling her a bitch was funny and couldn't joke about herself, blah, blah, blah....that might get you some claps from the resident autistic TRPers for being just a special TRP snowflake for doing such a thing but at the end of the night....you did something stupid which didn't have to be done and cost yourself a fuck because you lacked the ability to be socially sauve.
Best_Chorizo 5y ago
you sound unnecessarily upset. Are you a materialistic bitch ?
NeedingAdvice86 5y ago
Weak.....stupid is as stupid does.
Just makes fucking chicks easier when you act socially congruent after them have to deal with you social retards on previous dates....but you keep on dickwadding your way thru your desert dry days.
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The_Cat_17 5y ago
What is that high quality dating site?
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ebaymasochist 5y ago
I think you just went a little too far.. She wanted you to challenge her on that story, but not to that level. If your tone was just slightly off you sounded way too judgmental.
Materialistic bitch is too deep. You could have said "thieving whore" and got better results, because it sounds so dramatic, you just gotta use your voice the right way..
Another option would be to say you were in "the industry" and get offended by "her type" but again you gotta be able to sell that shit right there on the spot to where she really starts to wonder if you were a model or something and completely forgets about you insulting her character.
That shit about "fucking a total stranger in a bathroom" is kinda weak. What more do you know about someone after three dates than one? She was trying to show you that she is down for some casual sex and that you should continue to escalate, but you took it as her trying to insult you.
The attitude towards casual spontaneous sex, taking things as insult, madonna/whore complex, judging too harshly, etc. are holding you back. You're not looking for a wife right?
tayowsp 5y ago
I don't understand how I should have escalated more... She told me "I am not coming to your place" in a serious tone. I thought that pushing for it would have demonstrated neediness and that ignoring it and continuing the date would have shown that I changed my plans because of her reaction.
How should I have escalated further in this case?
ebaymasochist 5y ago
I thought about it and what probably happened was when you called her a materialistic bitch, she picked up on you being judgemental, which goes against hook up culture.. and when she said she fucked a guy in the bathroom, she picked up the same vibe.. By inviting her to your place after that, you're saying "I judged you for doing the same thing, but I'm still going to do it, but I won't respect you, and might go around telling people about it"
If your goal is to fuck on the first date or one night stands, you can't make also have the belief that the girl who is giving you what you want is somehow below you. You both want the same thing.
psychosis2020 5y ago
This reply is spot on. It wasn't the bitch word she took the comment as judgemental as mentioned it was probably the non-verbals (vocal tonality and body language) which were wrong and hence it didn't come off as a joke (maybe you are hamstering that you meant it as a joke). The bitch on the end of statement probably saved you (at least at that point) as it diverted a bit of her attention from the non verbal judgement.
You then qualified to her when she tested you about said judgemental comment, alpha's don't qualify even if you think you are doing it in an alpha way you entered her frame. Would have been better to just smile/smirk/laugh and say "I'm such a bastard..." then grab/slap her ass and continue making out with her.
She brings up subject of sex in a bathroom, which would also have been a test both to how you react judgementally and whether you're a sexual being and you talk about bungee jumping or sky diving WTF. She got judgemental reaction from your non-verbals and also a sense you weren't comfortable talking about sex by de-escalating yourself with the non-sexual activity conversation i.e. "Hey lets talk about fucking" - "No lets talk about sky diving and bungee jumping".
Was it at this point she said she wouldn't with you? As she wanted to fuck (probably from the kissing and kino) my hands would have been down her pants or up her skirt playing with her pussy and saying who needs bathrooms, escalate further and when she's so hot and bothered she'll either suggest isolating or you can direct it.
ebaymasochist 5y ago
The saddest part is if this guy wasn't so worried about her being a moral snowflake, he could be hanging out with her model friends
NightwingTRP 5y ago
Yeah, you fucked up. You saw it (difficult to miss.) You could potentially have rescued it with something along the lines of "Are you one of those girls who reads too much into every little detail and over-analyses everything?" But there's no guarantees at this point. Women and their fee-fees. Never underestimate how irrational and stubborn they will be.
Mentally speaking you seem to be in the right place. You class her as just another worthless bitch. Unfortunately you made that a little too clear. (That she will never hold any value to you.) The moment she realised that she held no value in the exchange, she knew she wasn't having sex with you and the story was probably to try and make you jealous/reaffirm to herself that she's attractive/valuable.
A hard next is probably called for, but you could always soft next and see what happens. Though if she wants back in, you should make it clear that she's coming over to your place for dinner and wearing nothing but knickers and jewelry. In all honesty though I think this is a lost cause. Plenty more chicks out there, go find the next one.
Gr0o0vy 5y ago
" I said that was not very extreme and that I was thinking about something more like skydiving and bungee jumping. "
Kudos to you as this was a great attempt at trying to salvage the date.
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Noblefiz 5y ago
Quite literally the advice TRP advises you NOT to embrace. That’s some advice you’d get from a female.
Ivetakenthepill 5y ago
That's quite literally not the truth at all.
Anybody here pretending to be someone that they're not, will ultimately fail. TRP is very much about improving into a much much better version of yourself. But you are still yourself, you can't be anything other than yourself.
OP failed cause he using game and tactics. Frame doesn't hold up under game and tactics.
Nutman-maddog 5y ago
Be yourself, but the best version of
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Morphs_ 5y ago
No it's about SMV. The fake tinder guy had an unrealistic high SMV so he could say anything. It was due to his looks, not his frame. Not much use to compare OP to that.
kalashnick 5y ago
Exactly. Those kinds of guys can say anything to a girl simply because they have looks on their side. They could fart and girls would blush. I understand OP's position. When you're not male model-status, you begin to overanalyze your interactions with women, and this is where it gets agonizing. Best not to go down that road. The solution, I suppose, is to make up for this with rock solid frame. What else can you do?
NeedingAdvice86 5y ago
I would suggest NOT calling a GIRL one of the two or three most insulting things that you can call them.....
It is like a girl telling her BF that he has a tiny dick which doesn't measure up to his roommates.
Calling a GIRL a "materialistic bitch" is nuclear.
Noblefiz 5y ago
I’m not interested in reading between the lines in your comment and neither is anyone else. Police yourself and clarify next time. Even if it’s not “what you meant” it’s still feminine advice.
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Kevin19Fish 5y ago
He's mgtow. No wonder he gives terrible advice.
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Kevin19Fish 5y ago
Oh look, you made a basketball shot doing granny shots. Oh lookey here, there is no good technique in shooting! Do what ever the fuck you want! Oh you got a lucky hand in poker! There are no strategy! Just do whatever the fuck you want.
If you want to get laid once in a blue moon, take this guys advice. Piss off and creep out half the girls you talk to and tell yourself you nexted them when they were the ones who rejected you.
If you actually want to get laid regularly with quality girls learn from your mistakes and don't make them again.
tayowsp 5y ago
I agree with your general advice of "just be yourself", and I also agree with the fact that she does probably sound like an easily offended materialistic bitch... but at the end of the day I just wanted to fuck her, and I went home with my dick in my hand.
I would obviously never LTR a girl I need to act like I'm someone else around, but if playing it a little bit safer helps me get some pussy I do not see the issue with that.
I tried to keep my frame at first to see if this was the case, but she looked genuinely offended/disappointed and the vibe really died down. I do not think this was a shit test.
In general I think you make good points, but at the end of the day the results are what matters. If I manage to restrain myself knowing that it will increase my chances of getting laid it doesn't mean that I am letting her "win" or denying my true personality, it just means that I want to fuck her and that this is part of my game.
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wanker7171 5y ago
While some girls like being called a bitch, there are a lot of girls who have that kind of negative visceral response to it. I've jokingly called a girl a bitch after she was acting bratty and it went downhill in an instant
MattyAnon Admin 5y ago
Provider hunter eliminated
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killabeesindafront 5y ago
Fuck these guys. Say whatever you fucking want. Don't relent and say you should have said something else.
Bunch of white knights beta losers here
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BloodSurgery 5y ago
Theres a difference between negging and being a total asshole with a stranger.
NeedingAdvice86 5y ago
Those white knights beta losers would have been balls deep fucking this girl who is open for fucking on the first date in a bathroom by knowing not to call a girl a "materialistic bitch"...the rest of the TRP too-alpha badasses would have been like the Op and whacking their own Johnson alone for the rest of the night.
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tayowsp 5y ago
I don't care about this particular girl. I care about avoiding mistakes in the future. DGAF is nice, but you don't really learn anything with that attitude.
woodquest 5y ago
Yeah sometimes you can trigger a bad feelz of her even out of the blue. You can also shoot yourself in the foot with something you would never guess was the culprit like saying you like avocado, bringing her to a bar with blue glass... Anything that triggers something bad in her.
I recently met with a girl to have some wine at a terrase 1 minute from my flat. Good laugh escalation touch everything was on the road to a nice little fuck party .
Then sudently unexpected brutal mood change : "look i'm going home i don't feel it". I m thinking shit fuck fuckkk!! try to act unbothered but can't help bluepilly asking her what happened? She just say "nothing, just that i don't feel it". I already knew that any serious question was only going to close the pussy more and more. But at this point i realise ok lost for lost let's keep my balls.
So i say something like ok nevermind trying my best at looking unaffected. Then i change the subjects and try to keep being playfull and unbothered even with this ice bucket on the vibe.
We move from the bar and i while walking to her car talking, i say "hushh !!! They are following us !!!" I push her against the back of a car, kiss her wildly. she seems toloves it... After 5 minutes of eating each others mouth groping scrubing moaning i tell her "i happen to live 1 block from her let me show you my flat".
We went there and had a good fuck.
So yes, i guess woman might throw lunatic shit and get cold over something inocent or even nothing. It might look like it's fucked. But sometimes keeping composture, staying DGAF and cocky can pay. And if not, at least you have kept your self esteem.
JamesSkepp 5y ago
Oh and a general comment for the people who responded in this thread: carpet bombing ban begins in 30s.
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WestyWorld 5y ago
I have noticed that women really pay attention to what you say on the first date. The stakes are the highest on that date and one misstep can really kill the vibe. If you’re not shooting for a one night stand, it’s better to play it on the safer side.
benchwhore 5y ago
You could have apologized. "I said something stupid and I'll own up to the consequences. " is the best you could do IMO.
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