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- Hide Preview | 76 Comments | submitted 9 months ago by bluefingerblue [Post Locked]

Simple but good response I stumbled upon last night:

Hanging out with a plate and I made some half joking comment about enjoying something she viewed as very undesirable (as most people would). Anyway she gets all weird about it, saying “I like you but you’re really messing this up, don’t blow it, just stop talking.”

Old blue pill me might’ve tried to backtrack and say “I’m joking” or “yeah you’re right I shouldn’t do that.” But instead I laugh and say “you think I care if I ‘mess this up,’ what do you want me to pretend to be someone I’m not just to please you?”

She immediately started backtracking and saying “no you’re right I’m an asshole sometimes. I’m so annoying.” Then I give her some subtle signs of disinterest (e.g. turning away, talking to the bar tender, etc.) and she begins clamoring for my attention. Touching me, trying to be cute and funny, etc. Everything went back to normal and she fucked my brains out that night.

Not exactly sure what my point is other than stick to your guns. Hold frame. Show the ability to walk away. Don’t try to please her. You come first. She’ll respect that.

[-] [deleted] 115 Points 9 months ago

Seems like you passed here, but my go-tos are a shit eating grin with a wink, a full-out laugh, or simply stating my “fuck budget” is low, and that I will not be handing one out at the time.

[-] ThePantsThief 20 Points 9 months ago

I don't think I could ever pull off that last line, does that really work…?

[-] Satou4 28 Points 9 months ago

Maybe change it to "my give a fuck budget" that way she won't mistake it for something sexual

[-] ThePantsThief 45 Points 9 months ago

Nah I mean it just sounds cringey when I hear someone say it out loud

[-] diegggs94 30 Points 9 months ago

“I’m low on fucks to give. Can’t be handing them out.”

[-] [deleted] 9 months ago
[-] [deleted] 7 Points 9 months ago

Every girl I’ve used that line on has laughed their ass off and started throwing even more IOIs. I don’t rinse and repeat though, know your audience. You don’t like it? I don’t care. Find something that works for you.

[-] [deleted] 9 months ago
[-] Sir_Distic 6 Points 9 months ago

Change it up. "I left my give-a-fuck at home." or "My give-a-fuck is broken" etc. Use what works for you.

[-] st-johnson 11 Points 9 months ago

Or offer your phone and say “ phone someone who gives a fuck”

[-] [deleted] 3 Points 9 months ago

The ambiguity makes it that much more fun.

[-] [deleted] 6 months ago
[-] [deleted] 3 Points 9 months ago

You can say damn near anything if you do so in the right context with the right demeanor. Does it really work? Did last night.

[-] ThePantsThief 3 Points 9 months ago

Yeah, I'm not quite there yet haha. You can definitely say anything if you're charismatic enough.

[-] [deleted] 3 Points 9 months ago

Delivery is everything my friend. It’s not what you say, it’s how you say it.

I could write a few handfuls of lines I’ve used that have worked and I would be downvoted into oblivion because body language and tone of voice are everything imo.

Feel free to PM me and ask whatever.

[-] [deleted] 9 months ago
[-] lerossignol77 109 Points 9 months ago

I’m no pro at shit tests but by calling her bullshit, i.e., “I’m an entitled bitch. You’re here because of my pussy so you’ll do as I say.” You quickly showed her that her pussy isn’t the only one you will fuck. In fact, she wants to get laid just as much as you but you showed her that she pulls that stunt again, it’s onto the next one. Props my man

[-] Cloudsurf89 13 Points 9 months ago

But does she want to get laid just as much?

From reading The Rational Male by RT (or was possibly in Saving a Low Sex Marriage by BPP), it says that this is one of the fallacies that the female imperative propogates. Men have roughly 20x more testosterone than women so we are much hornier.

Apart from this I fully agree with the rest of your post.

[-] lerossignol77 9 Points 9 months ago

Fallacy? It’s not a fallacious argument to say that women like sex as much as men. Think about it this way, women are the only creatures who have an organ dedicated to sex. Can you take a guess what it is? That’s right, the clitoris. 99% of sex shops are designed to attract females because they are looking for orgasms. And as far as we can tell, women can cum nonstop while we can’t. Biologically speaking, she’s a cum bucket or sex machine, take your pick. Testosterone is the “take the risk”, competitive, alpha, aggressive hormone.

I’d say it’s fallacious to think that testosterone makes us hornier therefore women want sex less. Those are 2 independent events. Women don’t want sex by extension of us. Our biological imperative is to go after what we want.

There’s a reason they play hard to get to weed out the beta males from the alpha males. I’d say that’s because she wants sex and excitement, just not with any random male. She wants an alpha because the alpha knows she’s a sex machine and treats her as such. The betas put her on a pedestal like she’s virgin mary.

[-] bluefingerblue 9 Points 9 months ago

They enjoy sex just as much if not more than us, but they don’t crave it as much. Testosterone controls sex drive. Their sex drive is much lower than ours. You guys are saying two different things. She doesn’t want to get laid as much as we do. But she does enjoy sex as much as we do (when it’s an alpha she’s attracted to).

[-] p3n1x -2 Point 9 months ago

but they don’t crave it as much.

This just isn't true. They make up for their down time. They are 2 weeks on, 2 weeks off. We are constant. do the math and the result is the same.

[-] [deleted] 8 Points 9 months ago

men like to bust in a hundred women. women get the same rush as getting fucked by that 1 in a 100 man

[-] p3n1x 2 Points 9 months ago

Cycle matters also. When in the right phase they are far more horny than us. They work in in the extremes, we are just a constant boner.

[-] bluefingerblue 4 Points 9 months ago

Yeah and if you track their hormones during their cycle testosterone skyrockets when they’re ovulating. That’s why they’re super horny for those 2-3 days. That’s the only time they have a sex drive that even compares to ours. We’re on average 17x hornier than them.

[-] MattyAnon 77 Points 9 months ago

But instead I laugh and say “you think I care if I ‘mess this up,’ what do you want me to pretend to be someone I’m not just to please you?”

Right attitude, but no need to verbalise it.... just continue as if it's true, and flip the script

"haha right..... so yeah, I think Trump's foreign policy is especially awesome because blah blah blah... now you don't have to agree, but you're losing points with me if you're going to give me that shitty attitude"

[-] JustDoMeee 14 Points 9 months ago

That will just come off as passive aggressive, in this case I think verbalising the fact that you're not trying to impress her will have a better impact and more importantly be true to yourself.

[-] VSelf47 52 Points 9 months ago

How about just ignoring these kind of shit tests?

EDIT: After reading some responses, it seems that given the words used by her purely ignoring would have given a wrong signal.

I believe the key thing here is making it clear that you won’t back down, verbally or not.

[-] ThePantsThief 51 Points 9 months ago

I feel like ignoring it might give the vibe that you agree you took it too far with whatever pissed her off. I like the idea of addressing it with some variation of "why should I walk on glass around you?"

[-] VSelf47 3 Points 9 months ago

Given the words used here maybe. But an amused mastery approach should work. Like, even make another joke.

[-] QuantumGainz 22 Points 9 months ago

This. No need to give stuff like this undue attention, it’s not worthy of it

[-] monadyne 8 Points 9 months ago

Others here have suggested that the OP didn't need to say anything, and I disagree. Having said what she said, if the OP had merely said nothing, the woman would then be free to interpret his silence to be whatever she projected. "Gotcha! I guess *that* shut you down!" Or... "He's so embarrassed he can't even think of anything to say. Gotcha!"

By quickly and succinctly verbalizing he IDGAF response, he leaves no doubt in her mind that he's in absolute command of himself and the situation. The proof of this is that she was the one who back-pedaled... and then gave up the pussy.

[-] BoringOral 4 Points 9 months ago

That's another form of submitting. Fuck no, speak your mind correctly

[-] bluefingerblue 3 Points 9 months ago

I usually do ignore them but ignoring it would’ve sent the wrong message. If I did as she said and stopped talking, it would’ve signaled that she’s right. She would’ve interpreted silence or changing the subject as being remorseful for what I said, thus caring about what she thinks and not wanting to leave a bad impression. I’d respond the same way again if I had a second go at it.

[-] infamous3238 41 Points 9 months ago

She was actually giving you some decent red pill advice when she said to stop talking and that you’re messing it up. Plates are for fucking, not chatting with. If she already likes you and is consistently fucking you, then you can only go backwards by chatting on and on with her about random stuff.

Otherwise, yes, well played.

[-] [deleted] 57 Points 9 months ago

I see your point, but there shouldn’t be any worry about going backwards. If he enjoys the conversation and wants to talk to her, then he should do so and satisfy his own need for entertainment and conversation.

Maybe doing so would lead to less sex and possibly her leaving, but with the goal of having abundance mentality, he shouldn’t care if she does.

However, if the intent of his conversation is to try to please or woo her, then yes he should shutup and only worry about his own wants/needs.

The core of RP mentality is to do what YOU genuinely want, and not be concerned if that offends/displeases other people.

[-] BattlefieldWarrior 8 Points 9 months ago

I like TRP, but I think your comment lays out some of the logical contradictions within the TRP community's varying ideas.

On one hand, the red pill philosophy is to do what you want and feel like doing, however what that looks like in practicality is often a more extreme version of what a given guy would already do in a scenario.

Don't forget, distinguishing between a "genuine" want and any other desire is a hard, if not impossible, task.

With the philosophy laid out here, any guy who does what he wants can be said to be red pilled-even a homeless guy living on the street. You may say the outcome here shows he isn't getting what he wants, but philosophy says that "in order to find what a man wants, don't listen to what he says he wants, look at the result his actions bring about".

This led me to a revelation that perhaps some aspect of TRP is actually just changing your mind about what you want, and orienting yourself towards a different set of desires.. What if the stuff you THINK you wanted all along, you actually never wanted on a subconscious, natural level unknown to you? And the reason you now achieve greater success by following TRP principles is because you convinced yourself you really do want what you thought you wanted, but secretly didn't want?

Something to think about.

[-] [deleted] 9 months ago
[-] iknowthewhey 23 Points 9 months ago

Bad advice. Worrying about whatever you say around her is bluepill advice. Say whatever the fuck you want with no fear of consequences just as OP stated in his post.

[-] Frenetic_Zetetic 8 Points 9 months ago

Exactly. Poor short term thinking right here.

[-] Frenetic_Zetetic 15 Points 9 months ago

OP did it right. Now you're just over analyzing. You can't win on these threads. Guy did everything essentially correct, and people still nitpick like he left shit on the table.

OP did it correctly.

[-] ThePantsThief 8 Points 9 months ago

Not taking sides, but this is an example of subjective advice. The post is objective advice.

[-] bluefingerblue 3 Points 9 months ago

There has to be some level of communication. How is this getting upvotes? Not only that, I enjoy building tension outside of the bedroom. Makes sex that much more enjoyable in my opinion. Some plates are just for sex. Some I actually enjoy their company and feminine energy.

[-] [deleted] 9 months ago
[-] Frenetic_Zetetic 25 Points 9 months ago

You literally have to do this with everyone, not just females. Always stand your ground and never show doubt in your assertions. Fuck em!

[-] [deleted] 11 Points 9 months ago

Meh, guys won't test you like this and I'm very willing to admit when i think I'm actually wrong cuz I'm not trying to fuck em and it's fucking stupid to double down on something i think is wrong.

[-] Frenetic_Zetetic 2 Points 9 months ago

Oh if you're wrong, you're wrong. I was insinuating if you know you're right, but typically shy away from avoiding conflict. Embrace that fucking conflict in yourself, and grow!

[-] Master_Elrond 9 Points 9 months ago

Nice! It's crazy to think how a routine shit test/frame hold is just water off a ducks back now. Whereas this would have been the beginning of the end for your old bp self.

[-] bluefingerblue 21 Points 9 months ago

Exactly. It just made me realize I’ve come a long way. It absolutely would’ve been the beginning of the end for my old bp self. Would’ve started chasing after her approval and trying to “fix it,” making me look desperate and weak. Thanks trp.

[-] GlennBeckAmerica 5 Points 9 months ago

Yo chicks these days really be talking crazy to guys. For men, we dont go around saying anything we feel like because sometimes, words carry physical repercussions. Not endorsing hitting a bitch but i really hate that shit.

[-] srN2054 4 Points 9 months ago

I do this same exact kinda test to basically all girls now. A lot of em fail the test but the ones that past?...you can hold long ass relationships with that build up, she'll give you lots of "attention" along the way.

[-] Technerd88 4 Points 9 months ago

What make it so good is because your non fuck given..Solid inner game attitude take it or leave it..You had nothing to prove to anyone but yourself. And only.if all these cuckholds have solid game like yours, the world would be a better place

[-] Sir_Distic -6 Point 9 months ago

A: It's Cuckold.

B: You're using a word you don't understand, I can tell because you're using it incorrectly.

[-] DrMrJrSr 1 Point 9 months ago

Fortunately, he doesn't care so...

[-] p3n1x 4 Points 9 months ago

Not exactly sure what my point is other than stick to your guns.

Also know as "Own Your Shit".

A lot of people think I behave like a dick (via honesty), yeah maybe, but what makes you think you are obligated to the "nice guy" version of me out of the box? You gotta earn that shit and then maintain.

[-] LogicalWinner 2 Points 9 months ago

I'm gonna give you an A.

“you think I care if I ‘mess this up,’ what do you want me to pretend to be someone I’m not just to please you?”

Too many words, plus you're still subtly acknowledging her authority by taking her seriously. A plate with more nerve would have kept it up since you're still asking her a question.

Better response:

Her: “I like you but you’re really messing this up, don’t blow it, just stop talking.”
You: "That's cute."
[-] [deleted] 9 months ago
[-] 10211799107 1 Point 9 months ago

Or raise your brows and say "I'm trying to fuck this up your highness, is it working? "

[-] JSuma 1 Point 9 months ago

I agree with the verablizers. She said to shutup and play nice. Silence or indifference is cooperation. The only way to show that you really couldnt care less is to tell her straight up and carry on or just straight leave. No playing by her rules

[-] bluefingerblue 4 Points 9 months ago

Exactly. Not sure why so many people think silence or ignoring it would’ve been a good play. If I did that, I would’ve been submitting to her rules (because I care what she thinks and don’t want to “mess it up” – that’s how she would’ve interpreted it at least). Would’ve been a complete loss of frame.

[-] AJ_Ak47 1 Point 9 months ago

Can someone direct me to some material about frames?

[-] wss5112 1 Point 9 months ago

It reminds me of my early years experience studying abroad. I was told and cultured to be “polite” and overpolite is better than not since I was a child especially Asian background.

Ever since I started here reading TRP casually, I realised that I’ve been overdoing this “polite” thing and from my observation, locals don’t do like that. I’ve been saying too much “sorry” and “thank you”. Also people didn’t seem to respond in a way I expected and I thought it was them hating me or some other internalised reason. But I learned that people are just shit especially strangers. Why do I need to give a fuck about how they view me? I learned to be comfy if they hate me. I’m just a random stranger.

And that experience also reminds me of an earlier TRP post talking about beta male always tries to please everyone and want everyone to think they’re perfect to be likeable. Unconsciously seeking approval and stuff like a woman.

Now I always remind myself the utmost importance of holding frame. And IDGAF.

[-] bluefingerblue 2 Points 9 months ago

Yeah the book No More Mr. Nice Guy covers this pretty well. Give it a read if you’re still struggling with that at times.

[-] abudun79 -1 Point 9 months ago

I'm glad for you it did work, but that was mostly luck. You knowingly lead the both of you into that situation in the first place and than tried to be the independent man.

That is one weak example of holding frame. You've been talking too much, and reinforced your antisocial behavior and she rewarded it. Cannot see any personal improvement or benefits in the long run in your story.

EDIT: Plus after re-thinking it, I'd say you perceived your own frame as weak. You didn't act as if you believed in having a strong frame, you tried to make it strong by being so direct, clear and on point with "IDGAF", as if you had to convince yourself. Which supports my thesis, that you created that whole situation, just to tell her "IDGAF" as drastic as you did, instead of managing within a solid frame.

[-] bluefingerblue 5 Points 9 months ago

It wasn’t about talking too much. It was about one specific thing I said.

Yes, in a perfect world, I probably wouldn’t have said it. But given the fact I did, and she reacted the way she did, I think my response was appropriate for the moment.

The benefits in the long run are I showed her I don’t care what she thinks, I’m fine with or without her, I’m going to do me, and she can take it or leave it. She did the former.

[-] abudun79 -2 Point 9 months ago

In that situation, yes. I don't want to offer a better idea how to solve the situation, except for keeping it shorter and overkilling the "I don't care".

But you still put both of you into that situation on purpose, you knew what you were doing and knew what her reaction would be. You just did what you did to come into the position of "holding your frame". There was no point in doing so, other than showing exactly the response you did. This was about your display of IDGAF and that is not what keeping frame is about, that is just anti-social.

Feel free to rationalize that away.

[-] [deleted] 2 Points 9 months ago

[deleted]

[-] abudun79 0 Points 9 months ago

You weren't there. You have no idea what OP was talking about.

Tempting to argue like that, but not very thoughtful. That way you can deny every response, that you do not like.

It is his responsibility to describe the situation. He did, I responded. I don't care how accurate it is, it is waht he wants us to know/believe, so I'll work with that. What else is there?

This is something so common on TRP that I don't understand.

I do. He doesn't like it because it is not I did not give him applause for a lousy performance. If the situation has been different, he should have described it like that. Some people post just for a quick validation and seek other's approval for their behavior or what they say their behavior was. That is basically what Facebook is for. And that's why you and OP are crying about it. You deny OPs responsibility in creating the post and want it all to be a happy little echo chamber without resistance to certain topics.

Quit talking out of your ass.

Getting a little bit emotional? Or is that all your capable of?

[-] bluefingerblue 4 Points 9 months ago

I didn’t say what I originally said on purpose so I could hold frame after she had a negative response. That’s ridiculous. Utterly ridiculous.

We we’re taking about theft and I said there’s something kinda fun or exhilarating about stealing stuff. Went back and forth on it for a little bit and she started getting all weird. It was just some off the cuff comment I made. Totally insignificant in my eyes. Wasn’t thinking about the repercussions of it or what she thought whatsoever. When she called me out on “messing it up,” I had two choices: ignore/change subject or do what I did. If I did the former, she would’ve viewed it as implicitly agreeing with her because I didn’t want to mess it up.

[-] abudun79 0 Points 9 months ago

That doesn't change a single thing.

Don't bother answering, you don't want feedback, you want validation.

[-] bluefingerblue 5 Points 9 months ago

I don’t understand what feedback you’re trying to give. Additionally, your underlying assumption is incorrect, and only I know that for a fact. So it’s hard for me to take your advice seriously.

[-] dulkemaru51 -3 Point 9 months ago

"stop talking, blow this... make a mess"

[-] tonybarnaby -4 Point 9 months ago

Hanging out with a “plate”? I don’t get why you refer to a woman as a plate. What’s the significance?

[-] Sir_Distic 11 Points 9 months ago

Referring to women as "plates" is simply a way to express that she is basically a FWB and/or Fuck buddy. You "spin plates" as in you keep multiple girls in your rotation. Girl A, Girl B, Girl C, etc. If girl B decides she wants a relationship and gives an ultimatum the plate is said to stop spinning and breaks. Think of an old timey circus act with a guy on a unicycle, poles and a dozen or so spinning plates.

[-] CoraliePeach 4 Points 9 months ago

Maybe you should read the sidebar before commenting. From what I know, a plate is essentially a horse from your stable of fuck buddies. You have what's called "spinning plates," i.e. girls you're fucking but probably don't hold in very high regard and aren't pursuing seriously.

[-] max_peenor 2 Points 9 months ago

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Plate_spinning

It has nothing to do with women, misogyny or anything like that. It's a fucking metaphor.

[-] [deleted] 9 months ago