Gentlemen, this isn't necessarily a field report of a specific time, rather a summary of a method that has been working for me on tinder for extremely quick lays. This is also my first time posting after a long time of lurking, so mods, if anything is wrong with the formatting or this belongs somewhere else, please delete or move it.
With that said, I've been doing this on Tinder to get fast and easy lays with minimal investment, which brings me to the title of this post: those magic 4 letters. Love? Absolutely not. What I am talking about is B-D-S-M. Thank you 50 shades for making this exciting and acceptable to women.
At first, I started doing this as a joke, but then I realized it actually works more often than not. The second you mention that word and a woman reads it, any resistance they have to sex goes away if they're receptive to it. I've found that about 95% of the time this works on dating apps. Its a pretty polarizing thing to say, but if they're into it, you can skip the kino and dates and flirting and go straight to picking a day to fuck. For example, the way I usually do it is like this:
I open with "I'm writing a book called girls I'm gonna disappoint the shit out of in whatever year it is. Wanna be a chapter?"
Usually they'll think this self burn is funny, and most of the time ask what the chapter is about. So I say McDonald's and BDSM, and boom, they're instantly intrigued/excited/aroused. From there I make the conversation more and more sexual, talking about using restraints and whips and such, and within like 4 or 5 messages, I have their number and set a day to meet and bang.
Now here's the cool part about this: we know girls love rough sex, this is just taking it a step further. Even if its light stuff like handcuffs and a whip, a girl will usually be about it. Its easy to get toys like that as well. Amazon has cheap ones for about $15 bucks that have all you need. I've found when this works its among the hottest and most passionate sex I've ever had.
Now I'm not guaranteeing this is a 100% effective method, but I've had more success with it than failure, and you don't have to spend any money (except for a hotel room, if that's your thing), and I've gotten 5 or 6 plates out of it that I'm either still spinning or fell off over the past 4 months. I just wanted to share a method that's been working for me, especially when I don't have much time to go out and play the game due work and the gym.
Luckyluke23 6y ago
so I just like them, get them to like me... say BDSM and i will be fucking them in next to no time?
...really?
Bufflewog 6y ago
Can confirm. Even if you're not a practitioner, rule 32 (play to people's fantasies) still applies. It makes the conversation more exciting and sexual, gets her mind racing with possibilities, and taps into the dark triad. No need to show your whole hand from the start, but channeling your inner Norman Bates is a good way to start chasing that close.
clon3man 6y ago
Good stuff. I think what happens here is you bypass the heavy load of society's expectations when you connect with someone on something unusual.
It's like discussing sports teams among men. (or how women are, lol, e.g. half this entire subreddit) You'll shoot the shit with anyone, bond with even homeless bums over these kinds of topics. You don't care that you'd otherwise never speak to this person, it breaks down the barrier.
Much in the same way I think, if you connect with someone on a specific sexual fantasy, it breaks down all the implied weight associated with dating and SMV. You become someone interesting immediately, and are not judged on your "whole person" appeal because you suddenly are mysterious and come off the beaten path of everyone judging each other all the time... suddenly you're both oriented towards exploration of the universe instead of sizing each other up.
bodomfan91 6y ago
Agreed. It basically short circuits their brains cause you bypass the part where they don't want to be considered a slut. Its online, with someone who's social circles you'll probably never come in contact with, so there's almost 0 risk for their reputation being tarnished. Basically easy mode.
420KUSHBUSH 6y ago
Going to test this soon, thanks for the heads up and the tip compadre
DouglasPR 6y ago
yeah, I just switched my profile to: Not as nice as my pics make you believe. BDSM..
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bodomfan91 6y ago
Why don't you test it out and let me know poonslayer? I bet that would make a hell of a field report
ForcefedRedpill 6y ago
Tested this out tonight.
Her reply was witty.
I won't be just a chapter. I'll be the ending
JohnnySixguns 6y ago
Too bad for her that she's so wrong.
bot256 6y ago
Fck, I've always been against dating apps but damn, I might get a Tinder just to give this couple of field tests. Thanks for sharing
420KUSHBUSH 6y ago
Had one that used to be
"I use ropes, handcuffs and blindfolds. Guess who I am
A magician"
which worked out well for me considering my pictures are awful
Sir_Distic 6y ago
As someone who has been doing BDSM for 24 years I agree. BDSM is not for everyone though. However most women on Tinder and other dating apps are already DTF. so making it rough sex is just a bonus.
Do NOT get the cheap stuff. If you get some lousy cuff and it pinches a nerve it can cause permanent damage. I've seen what bad rope work can do to a person. It's not pretty.
However if you're naturally Dominant (in the bedroom or out) then go for it. Do NOT read or watch 50 Shades. It's total crap.
The other morning I had a new plate try to get Dominating with me in bed, giving orders, trying to push me into different positions etc. I shut that down by grabbing her hands and pulling them above her head. Holding both wrists in one hands with the other hand on her throat. Even though she told me earlier she doesn't get choked. She loved it. Funny how girls say they don't like Dominant guys until you're deep inside her.
Read and learn before you go off tying some girl up and flogging her ass.
Caesar_Vercingetorix 6y ago
Any resources you suggest?
needz 6y ago
Don't watch 50 Shades, but DO watch The Secretary.
[deleted] 6y ago
Agree, The Secretary is an excellent example of a true BDSM relationship.
chrisname 6y ago
Nymphomaniac is even better.
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relationship_padawan 6y ago
As someone who’s getting into BDSM, where would I find info on quality restraints and tools of the trade? I’m looking for under-the-bed stuff and maybe a few other things. Also is there a viable community on reddit?
Sir_Distic 6y ago
Fetlife has tons of people who make their own stuff. Floggers, restraints, collars etc. Etsy has some good makers too but you might find some cheap stuff. Cheap meaning poor quality.
I don't know about Reddit. I'm sure they do.
the Stockroom is the best site I've found for quality gear. It's expensive. But real leather costs money. But it's very high quality too. Not going to break the first time it's used etc.
prettyflyforabrowngy 6y ago
always wanted to try it - i've never been a "dominant" guy besides the occasional ass slap and the like. is there any sort of "playbook" you can recommend to get a beginner like me in the groove?
Sir_Distic 6y ago
Yes. "BDSM 101" by Jay Wiseman is fantastic. "Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns" is funny and informative. "The Topping Book" is also very good. I'd suggest getting "The Bottoming Book" as well to see things from their side.
To anyone starting out on the path of BDSM. Actual BDSM and not just spanking her or tying her wrists to the bedposts and fucking her while calling her "slut". YOU ARE GOING TO FUCK UP. Expect it. Keep rolling. I've knocked candles I was warming up for wax play off the nightstand and onto her shoulder when I swung the rope during a tie. She screamed. I took care of it. We both laughed later.
If you're going to do bondage or shibari I CANNOT RECOMMEND ENOUGH Two Knotty Boys guides "Showing You the Ropes." and "Back on the Ropes." Fantastic books on tying knots for bondage as well as beginner shibari.
Join Fetlife. It was once a great site for meeting and discussing with people from around the world about BDSM and every kink imaginable. Now it's full of fake Doms and subs who yell "Consent violation" at every step. However there are some good people on there still. Just be careful. SJW's have taken over kink and ruined it for us as well. Of course the victim is believed and the accused is socially shamed and shunned. Even though the entire thing is he said/she said. No matter how long the accused has been playing or how good their reputation is.
But there are many good people still on Fetlife. Much better chance of meeting a submissive than on Tinder. IMO.
bodomfan91 6y ago
Just experiment and see what you like. You'll stumble the first few times but as you do it more you'll get a feel for what you're into. Have fun with it!
LiveAFTSOV 6y ago
What would you have done, if when you grabbed both her hands and put them above her head, she starting fighting you and screaming loudly?
Sir_Distic 6y ago
That's never happened. But IF it did I'd let her go, get off her and back up. I'd assess the situation. I'd NEVER apologize because that's admitting guilt which could be used in court if it ever went that far.
If she was crying I'd attempt to talk to her and comfort her. If that wasn't possible I'd dress and leave. If she was yelling at me and pissed I'd try to calm her down and get her to talk. Again if that doesn't work I'd dress and leave. That's what I'D do personally. Now I have no legal advice for a situation like that.
I should note: There's a difference between a submissive and a girl who is submissive. For example a girl who is submissive will let you control the situation sexually. Taking orders like "turn over" or "get on your knees. Suck my cock." etc. Whereas with a submissive she and you will discuss the scene beforehand. A verbal contract as it were. Negotiating things that will and will not happen. For example bondage is ok, Scat or blood is not etc.
SirKolbath 6y ago
You know, it's guys like you that are the reason I bought handcuffs for work on Amazon and now for some reason my suggested products is nothing but blindfolds and cattle prods.
Can confirm, though. Quickest pickups I've ever had on Tinder were ones where I got bored with the dancing and just blatantly said, "I'm a Dominant. Do you know what that means? It means I know everything Christian Gray did wrong."
[deleted] 6y ago
Of course it does,we're sexual beings and pretty much we should be dominant. If you're not dominant and you're on redpill. you need a very hard think about what you're looking for here
Dmva100 6y ago
Can confirm. List it on your profile and it's a perfect screening tool to get DTF girls.
But if a single momma messages you, even after reading it, unmatch that shit ASAP.
Single mothers and fat BDSM slags will do ANYTHING to lock down a man including, but not limited to, stroking your ego (and your scrotum) and begging to drinketh ye cum until she converts you to a beta to commit to her and her Chad-bastard.
bodomfan91 6y ago
I disagree about the single moms. More often than not they're much more willing and try harder. Just keep your wits about you, fuck her till she forgets her name, then disappear. I usually do it 2 or 3 times then bounce
ShadyMahFuggah 6y ago
Stealing that
kankouillotte 6y ago
sounds like you have a story about this ... care to entertain us ?
Dmva100 6y ago
Perhaps I will write a post about it someday when I'm not busy illegally harvesting organs
GEAR_IN_THE_REAR 6y ago
Indeed, listing it in your profile is great.
I've gotten several messages from girls that want to fuck without even sending them anything.
Burgundy145 6y ago
Sorry, I may be dense. But list what? BDSM?
GEAR_IN_THE_REAR 6y ago
Yeah in the description. I list stuff as entreprenuer,bdsm and more.
I think its better than those cheesy " i can cook better than your mum lol xdd".
Burgundy145 6y ago
Lol yea I have something about wanted to be choked. But full on BDSM. I'll try it out.
GEAR_IN_THE_REAR 6y ago
Yeah i think its better. Since theres different "BDSM" kinks. Ive gotten some that are interested right away and some that ask which "kind of BDSM" i like/prefer.
Its an "easy" way to get girls interested and open for you. So you basicly just have to close the deal.
tc65681 6y ago
I would agree with this- even though not my method- I wrote a very sensual 3 or 4 paragraphs detailing what i was looking for- oral, massage, foreplay, multiple orgasms, etc- all wrote in a very straightforward but also erotic way- I even put something like "want to try to make you squirt- think that would be amazing"
More often than not it is met with positive response- I had one 24 yr old reply back- "I haven't ever squirted, but I'd like to try"-- we are meeting this Saturday to give it a try!
bodomfan91 6y ago
That sound like it'll be awesome bro. The cool thing about this is once the dynamic has been established that you are the dominant one, and you are in control, she will do WHATEVER you want. I've been able to put a collar and a leash on a girl, make them crawl on all fours up to the chair I was sitting on to suck my cock, call me Master...there's a laundry list.
Pestilence1911 6y ago
Can confirm.
"Daddy Dom, whats that?"
buttgoogler 6y ago
Don't ever go for cheap devices. Most of them are shit-made, don't last long and have bad effects on one's skin. BDSM is hella complicated IMO. It requires a crap ton of communication, empathy and trust to really get into serious things for sure, but once you're there -- you're hooked.
nowboarding 6y ago
Could you give any examples of how you work it into your conversation and how you talk about it?
bodomfan91 6y ago
The one in my original post is usually my go to, but alternatively, I tell the girl "lets play 20 questions" and ask a few trivial ones, then switch it to sexual ones, but in a joking way for plausible deniability. Then I escalate into kinks and go from there.
VasiliyZaitzev 6y ago
Guys interested in this topic will also like:
Uncle Vasya’s Guide to Submissive Women
-How to lead when she wants to follow.
Of Human Bondage – Uncle Vasya’s Guide for Men Who Like To Tie Up Young Ladies.
-The Field Guide to playing knotty games with naughty girls.
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VasiliyZaitzev 6y ago
Depends on the girl. I have zero experience being a short guy, so I don't know.
bodomfan91 6y ago
Unfortunately in my experience, women have told me they can't take a guy shorter than them seriously as a Dominant
Sir_Distic 6y ago
Bullshit. I'm 5'6". Nearly every woman I've Dominated has told me I have an "Air of Dominance" to me. It's all how you carry yourself.
memphisjohn 6y ago
^ can confirm - I'm 6 foot and well built, but my two buddies who are 10+ year police officers, who are 5'5" and 5'7" respectively and not especially bulky... when they give you the "cop look" you know that they are not to be fucked with.
BTW the shorter and older of the two, age 52, is recently married to the most beautiful sweet young 25 year old woman that I've ever had the privilege of knowing. The other guy, his wife is almost as gorgeous and a great mom to their kids in addition to being super fit and having an ass that makes me cry with joy.
Both of those women are several inches taller than their husbands.
bodomfan91 6y ago
Well shit. I stand corrected. That's dope!
shankzilla 6y ago
I know bodomfam91 irl. Ive seen him use this (just one of his tinder methods) and it works phenomenally. Cant upvote enough.
WalterEArmstrong 6y ago
Didn't know what BDSM meant so I went to Google and discovered that I'm a total wuss!
memphisjohn 6y ago
So, the stuff you see online is biased toward the more extreme end... but for the typical tinder ho who might've read a few paragraphs of 50 shades or maybe saw the movie, she thinks that if you tie her up, slap her ass a few times, and fuck her hard, that's bdsm.
I've had more than one girl who I "tied up" in the loosest possible way, but in her mind she was a captive and I was her imprisoner, and she came buckets and couldn't wait to do it again.
SpaceEnthusiast 6y ago
It goes to show you it's all in the head anyway. She was effectively a captive, so it worked.
[deleted] 6y ago
Yes you're a fucking pussy and women should avoid you until you understand that women want to be dominated.
WalterEArmstrong 6y ago
Go back to operating your charm school.
StandardBoilerplate 6y ago
Don't feel bad, not my cup of tea either. Interesting about female psyche none-the-less.
WarViper1337 6y ago
It is not everyones cup of tea so don't feel bad. It really takes a lot of dedication and trust between people for it to be really fun. I have to say once you find your groove in it you will be hooked for life especially when you find the right person.