Bad case of one-itis. Thought she was that 'quality woman' and she would come to study for 6 months in my country which would've been when we actually would have a real relationship.
I noticed I have made myself so weak. I am just so disgusted with myself. Early on she was in my friendzone for a long time, we started talking a lot more and well, I told her I'd like to see her and date and see where it goes, I actually valued the friendship we had 4 years prior, but that also combined with never having read anything coming close to red pill caught me completely off guard for what followed.
I early on had thoughts arising in me 'you don't really love her' and a strong gut feeling she's probably cheating all the time. Not to make this too long, in the end, she left me, not a word heard from her since, and boy did it sting, and it still does. All the promises of the 'soulmate' myth I believed and I went through life, with a sort of wide eyed naievety waiting for that experience to fulfill me.
Not anymore. People say I changed but I just can't buy it anymore. It's like this experienece has made me cynical, but also I feel more tough, but this alternates with periods where I feel so useless and weak, and I go over how I behaved in this relationship, and I hate to admit that even now, I still have feelings for her.
I noticed a small indication of progress, because a week or 3 after, I and this girl started hanging out more and more, and well, before I would have done the friends first thing. But now, I did something I never did before, I was sitting at her place and I just said, without giving a shit what she thinks that I thought she was hot and basically, I got rejected. The beauty though is this. I got rejected, and I didn't care. I just left, and feeling that I just frankly spoke what I wanted without caring about the outcome was a new sensation to me.
I'm still beta, I'm 25, my life is a mess, I have so much work to do. The disney lie has been revealed to me. I am quite depressed because it's quite a huge shift in my consciousness, but it's also empowering. I'm feeling compelled more and more to read into TRP. And already, around me I notice the resistance in people. Broken men saying they 'gave all, and how could she do this' who try to pull me back down, women suddenly reveiling they are a feminist and try to shame me, whenever I come too close to these subjects. I'm at a place where I'm just done though. I don't want to end up like these older men. I'm 25, and well, I guess it could have been worse. Step by step, brothers
blimp166 5y ago
Its a great time to learn coding, and to folllow my obsession with crypto. I’m not sure who was in love with whom, but in the relationship I recall becoming quite angry because she always was the needy one, looking for reassurance. When I hit a low and she pulled away, suddenly The tables had turned on me. I should’ve kept myself, and let her grovel in her anxieties... Lesson learned I guess
CapnPoot 5y ago
Youre on the right path brother. I have had this weird feeling for a while that the whole purpose of women being raging kunts is literally to make us the best versions of ourselves. Feminism has indoctrinated our youth to make us believe in fantasies which would effeminate us for their own agenda, but the irony is that is making men into Spartans.
Some of the biggest incels I knew are starting to rock girls in the face, one who literally outwardly says “I treat girls like shit because its what they did to me until I started making money”. Its sad for the 0.01% of girls who are nice, but it is fully understandable.
And btw, 25 is young af. Most people get redpilled right around your age.
DeontologicalSanders 5y ago
It's important to note that his attitude, while perhaps justified, is totally fucking self-defeating. Even the tiniest bit of bitterness and generalized anger toward women is cancer when it comes to dealing with chicks. To women, a man who advertises any negative opinion of women in general sets off alarm bells that he's a FUCKING LOSER; if he's angry or frustrated with women, it means he must have had trouble with women in the past, which means he's not naturally attractive (regardless of whether he actually is or not). It's like having a big neon green sign over your head that says POISON: STAY AWAY, and it can and will totally nullify whatever charm or confidence you already have going for you.
The only public attitude/mindset toward women that it is acceptable or wise to project is a happy-go-lucky, casual indifference. If that's not the way you feel naturally, fake it until you can change it for good.
CapnPoot 5y ago
Nah son you had it right til the end. Hes not attractive, balding, short, etc and has been treated poorly, but his new attitude is pure “idgaf”. Hes not afraid to say crazy shit to girls, and although i find it a little cringy, apparently the girls love it. He hasnt been having trouble getting girls, so its funny to me that thats what it takes these days.
I was never a “Nice Guy”, but I pride myself in being a good person. Ill never quite stoop to treating anyone poorly, but I truly understand how a non-mgtow would do what they gotta do to get pussy. Its sad, but we dont make the rules.
comcain 5y ago
Not sure it's as high as 0.01%. :-)
Abdurehman_Varusai 5y ago
Man, that first para of yours is so accurate.
BewareTheOldMan 5y ago
There's a saying about LDRs that goes something like "there's no such thing as a LDR because there's generally only ONE active participant and the other person is either barely or just not participating at all."
It sounds as if you were the "active participant." Now you know better for future relationships.
blimp166 5y ago
:( I don’t know what happened though, she always messaged me first, go out of her way for me, handmade gifts, telling all her friends about me, going to my country to meet, always initiating crazy sex, basically I had it easy, but at one point the tables just turned on me and I found myself being the needy one. And it went downhill from there.
ConsumingImpulse 5y ago
Christ that got me. Accurate.
MrMelbourne 5y ago
For a blade to become strong and sharp, it must first be forged in the fire.
chaseexcellence 5y ago
Welcome to the table, have a sit and join us. We have all been there. TRP and MGTOW is just a small part of the male population. At least you learned this at 25. Many men will not learn this until they are divorced and dragged through the court system. I too believed in the disney fairytale. This will happen to you countless times in your life. Just be prepared and learn all you can from TRP and MGTOW. Start searching for the next girl. It will take time to build up your SMV. But you will get there.
volcanolairbadguy 5y ago
Focus on self. Read way of the superior man by David Deida. A woman is not your purpose. Look into creation, innovation, tech etc. Its about finding a path beyond women and world. They cannot free you nor would you if you ever got her, played house, had kids. Like you, I made that mistake after high school but, we were two kids scared. I finally ended it when I saw how great college was. You have your whole life ahead of you. Step up.
anotherent 5y ago
I’m 29 and in a very similar boat. You’re doing just fine for your age!
snowfox167 5y ago
Same thing happened to me man, when I was 25. You are not late to the game at all. Just read the side bar and start lifting.
-DeadLock 5y ago
I had a similar situation: fell head over heels for a mexican girl at my uni and moved in with her and we fucked like rabbits. I was a total virgin before that at 23 years old.
She didn't like it here and left and never looked back... but we stayed in touch trying to make things work (no LDR though just trying to find a place to live together again.. either in Mexico or here) . I feel like she lead me on tho, fruitless attempts of meeting her ended with her backing out when it could have really become a thing. I also realized she didn't love me because she would only respond to me and keep up with me if I sent her pics of my dick and body (once that stopped, she lost interest in the next week or so like clockwork). She tells me she never had sex before meeting me and hasn't since either but she would also say stuff like "I don't masturbate, I just consider it exercise" and she'd basically have to do the female equivalent of deathgrip to cum. Yeah, never masturbates? Yeah right. (Sitting on Chad's dick is just exercise, not sex!) Caught her in a few white lies that make me suspect she's a snowflake but at the end of the day she was also very good to me, and always around if I need a shoulder to lean on (and has been my only confidant for years) and I should just leave it at that and keep looking.
xxcups 5y ago
My Disney illusion shattered 2 years ago after 6 months of studying with "the one". I'll spare you the story, it's typical, but I probably felt worse than you did. I would recommend red pill raging for awhile and building routines of success, goals, and a good career. You will have opportunities to spin plates the rest of your life.