So I posted a while back asking for cooking advice with my guy.
I deleted the post (he knows my user and my convos with you ladies aren't his beeswax tbh) so I can't link back to it but basically he's EXTREMELY picky and was raised on boiled chicken and white rice. Only spice/sauce/condiments used were mustard and hot sauce.
ONTO MY UPDATE.
So I take pride in my cooking and it was becoming a real issue having out foods divided. Having him refuse to eat my food felt devastating to me honestly.
Here's what's happened since:
- I started working off his "basics": Chicken, Rice, Broccoli, Steak.
This was some really great advice from you all. I focused on the things I KNOW he loves and worked from there. Started by cooking them with some more spices, then added sauces, then switched out veggies for some new ones (he's tried red/yellow/orange/aloha/green sweet peppers and loves them!, he's also tried asparagus and cooked spinach and cauliflower).
- I went on a "SPICE TOUR" with him.
I made a fun event out of it, had him dip a finger in each spice and taste/smell them. This worked out REALLY well because he was able to really quickly tell me which spices were good and "DISGUSTING". This worked wonders on my end with no further communication needed because I can just use the "safe" spices in a lot of ways. He said he'll keep trying the others ones if I make them right.
- I called his mom
She sent me over a list of all the meals she made for him and his dad and gave me her taco meat recipe. Ladies, if you've got a nice MIL take FULL advantage of that woman's knowledge!
- I started giving him 2 options for meals
Instead of saying "what would you like" I moreso go with "Kebabs or butter chicken?" then he can choose and I can plan/shop/prep ahead of time without him totally derailing my meal plans
- I got a whiteboard for the fridge
I always had a magnetic paper pad for groceries but since I swapped it out with the white board my BF feels very driven to use it now! He wrote "beans" on it this week. I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW HE ATE BEANS! (I was always nervous to suggest them because of his disgust for previous lentils).
The response from all of this in action for th past 3 months has solidified our relationship even moreso.
He texted me a photo today of the fridge opened (he rarely sends photos, so that alone was exciting) - where I had left a cherry cobbler for tonight and the steaks marinating with the comment: "I opened the fridge and shouted "I'LL MARRY THIS WOMAN"".
I genuinely almost cried. It felt so good. He texted me about 2 hours later telling me to get home sooner so we can cook the steaks together.
I love this man, and I love this subreddit. Thank you!
(if I think of any other changes I made I'll add them)
aussiedollface 5y ago
Great news lovely! I remember your original post too hehe xo
Wolfssenger 5y ago
Reading stories like these really warms my cold, dead heart. You can apply this strategy to more than just food though, something to keep in mind as your relationship progresses. Best of luck, and congratulations.
cherryhearts 5y ago
You're completely right! I've learned a bunch of new ways to approach him so I think our communication moving forward will keep improving!
puffpuffpastries 5y ago
Hey, congrats on addressing the problem in the best way! This reminds me so much of my husband... one of his online names is literally a variant of 'meat and potatoes'. I'd sort of fallen into this sort of strategy to bridge the gap (I like interesting,exotic, complicated dishes) but this is definite inspiration to go farther. The whiteboard has been one of the easiest methods I've employed too. We can even plan out the whole week and refer back to it or move things around as our schedules change.
I'm really happy you managed to relate better to your guy. I love how this community makes that so easy, possibly more than any other on reddit. C:
cherryhearts 5y ago
I'm so happy with the whiteboard for sure. It was nice to hear how many other women were struggling with this issue and didn't just want to say "he can feed himself". I love cooking and I wanted to share my cooking with him so he loved it too. This sub helped so so much!
We've been planning out our weekends so far and it's been going flawlessly! I've been solo planning the week days which has given the creative freedom I've been craving. Once I get into a routine I'll likely get him in on the weekday meal planning too.
SyDuck21 5y ago
SO CUTE ????❤️ awesome success story !
cherryhearts 5y ago
Thanks love!
SSapplejack 5y ago
This post filled me with legitimate joy. Good for you, lady !!
cherryhearts 5y ago
Thanks so much!!
FleetingWish 5y ago
Haha, yeah I was going to say when you had him dipping his finger in spices to taste them that you probably wouldn't get very good results. A lot of spices aren't meant to be sampled on your finger, because that is way too concentrated. They are meant to be added delicately by a skilled hand.
A skilled cook knows by taste and smell what a little bit of a spice would do to a dish. But I'd never ask someone to "finger sample" habanero powder to find out if they like it. Though I would ask them how spicy they like their food.
cherryhearts 5y ago
He LOVES sniffing food (weird quality haha). And I definitely explained that going into it! There were some that were sniff test only haha
HB3234 5y ago
My rule of thumb is generally if spices smell good together, they will pair well in a dish too. I'm sure there's some weird exceptions but it hasn't let me down yet.
Mystoko 5y ago
Thats so awesome. Spice tour sounds like so much fun. I did a special ingredient once a month for a while, something completely new neither of us had before. Had our favorite pizza place on standby if it was awful.
cherryhearts 5y ago
Good idea! I'll start doing that, pick a new veggie each week or something.
littlemisslasagna 5y ago
Yay! Congrats! I remember your original post and I’m so glad to see a positive update! It just goes to show how many scenarios that others may label as “deal breakers” or reasons to break up, can actually be worked on.
cherryhearts 5y ago
Yeah it was actually surprising to me how many people responded with "he can feed himself" "why would you even pick a man picky like that if you like food". I'm glad there was so much variety in opinions though it really helped me think of a lot of different ideas and some people really gave me some stellar advice!
lSquaredD1 5y ago
BTW- you can find most deleted posts on ceddit.
cherryhearts 5y ago
Tried to find it already but can't remember what I titled it for the life of me.
Ok_Philosopher 5y ago
Here you go:
https://snew.github.io/r/RedPillWomen/comments/8jngmp/looking_to_improve_my_cooking_expand_his_taste/
You deleted your original post, but I remember commenting. What surprised me about your update is that he's been so flexible with trying variations of your cooking. From your original post, I recall that it sounded like he refused to try anything new at all.
cherryhearts 5y ago
That surprised me too! He used to micromanage what I would use the knife for or the size of the veggies. He was so picky I was really worried. He must have noticed how him not eating my food was affecting me and made the effort. At least I hope that's what it is :)