I am coming from a similar place as you, and I personally do not follow a full RPW philosophy. I just don't agree with everything about the lifestyle, but I can say that there are some hugely helpful aspects of RPW and it is possible to be an independent, professional woman and still use this philosophy to your advantage.

So much of it is just about softening. If you are argumentative, cut back on that. No nitpicking, don't correct him needlessly. If you're going to debate, be flexible and playful. Be fun and openminded. That flexibility goes a long way and overlaps with sexuality (be open and available as much as you are comfortable), be willing to accommodate him and be forgiving. Show your trust in him. Cut down on vulgarity, show some tenderness in your words and the way you move. You can be domestic in ways beyond cooking-- treating your home with pride and care. Basically just be more aware of your body and attitudes. When it comes to kids, this is relevant too.

There is a lot more to it than that, but the idea is to be a truly soft place to fall. Be a good, supportive partner. Don't be inhibited by the stress and discomfort the world tends to put on women. You don't need to be angry or forceful in a good relationship, but that is unfortunately what a lot of women become when things are not going well. So if you feel your relationship may be heading in the wrong direction, make an effort to breathe new life into it, not clam up more. You'll find a lot of good info reading through the posts and comments here, just remember you can take what you like and work around the rest. I found some of the things I read here to be untrue to my reality, but other things were relevant and helped me a lot.

This blog isn't outwardly RPW but it is basically the same philosophy and helped me a lot.

Feminism has changed its meaning a lot through out the years, if in the very beginning it was simply for women to be able to vote, receive education, and be able to support themselves independently, now it is more about masculinizing girls and feminizing boys. So go figure.

I listen to relationship advice from a woman named Mila Levchuk, she categories women into three types: Woman Minus, Woman Zero, and Woman Plus. You can have qualities of a woman from more than one category, I advice you to make some hot tea, get comfy and read what I have below. I copy and pasted her four posts that I think will help you out below.

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I Hate The Woman In Me:

There are so many women around who turned away from the resource of their female energy and even have done so on purpose.Why the number of women ready to fight dragons is getting higher and higher? Maybe you don’t feel the girl in yourself, or maybe you never wanted to be one?Reasons:

1. You mom, teacher, or coach were this way. You simply NEVER have seen the proper embodiment of the female identity: what does it mean to be beautiful and feminine? No one ever explained or showed it to you.
2. As a child, you were in the circle of friends, where some of the girls have been taught by their mom how to be like that! Cute, self-aware, knowing how to bring their best sides out by make-up or clothes, flirty and always liked by boys. And you felt like a loser, not beautiful and not desired, at times even rejected. And so you turned to defense: I don’t need this! I never wanted this! Put make-up on – eww! Flirt? No, thank you! You’re wearing a red dress? Ahh you must be desperate!
3. You become aggressive towards femininity and start to push your male traits towards the spotlight. What’s more, you even get praise: wow! Policewoman! No way, you’re a boxer? There’s nothing wrong with these professions, if not the underlying behavior pattern – competing with men, to get attention and approval. Because of this, relationships with them stop working out, you must perform over your capacity, constantly prove yourself and stay patient through it all. The desire to have kids goes down, and rejection of your femininity grows stronger and stronger.In the end, you didn’t become a male, but instead stepped away from your own identity. Is she happy? In different period of life, it varies. In the beginning – a bit more, as time passes – gradually less and less. And she’d be even happy to come back to femininity but understanding of how to do it is still lacking.
   First step – stop rejecting yourself. Accept it – you’re a girl and that’s great. You are not worse than man and you don’t need to be like them to get approval. You also don’t need to become one of the ‘mean girls’. This is going to the extremes! I need to get back that part of myself, that I rejected, if not for staying true to myself, then for making my life easier and more pleasant.

Woman Minus: Have you ever heard stories when with one woman a man was a loser – he could barely make the ends meet, cheated on his woman, and was impudent – but once he found another woman he began to change in a blink of an eye: he started up a business, straightened his shoulders, succeeded in life? I have, many times. And today I will tell you the reason. When with a man, a woman always takes one of three positions. Moreover, of course these positions have their influence on the success of this man in work and any other plans. Remember this saying? Behind every successful man, there is a woman. Unfortunately, it is also true for a mediocre man, and … Well, this is what I will start telling you about today.So, there are three positions: a minus-woman, a zero-woman, and a plus-woman. Today we will start with the first one.How can you determine that you are a minus-woman? Look at your man! If you tend to agree with the statements above, most likely it’s your role:

1. If before the wedding or serious relationship with you he was better than he is now.
2. If he has been looking for a job for a long time or constantly changes jobs often being unemployed.
3. If your man tends to have bad habits and weak spots.
4. If he is lazy and doesn’t spend time helping you, being with you or with your kids.
5. If he makes less money than you.
6. If he is more interested in politics and sports than in family business.
7. If since the moment you met his looks faded: he put on weight, stopped caring about himself, began to dress up carelessly.If at least two statements are true for your husband, then, unfortunately, you are a minus-woman. It means your influence lets and helps a man degrade. You know what? Life is like an escalator that moves down: even to stay on the same level, one needs to go forward. You’ve created a situation in your family when the man feels safe to stop and ride down as quick possible. Maybe you left him and are now crawling up alone.

Woman Zero:A zero-woman is a position when the couple always bargains “firstly he does something, and then I will...” It’s how the zero-woman thinks and loses. She’s always trying to make excuses: “What can I do if he is like that… how can I explain it to him?” In such a relationship the man doesn’t improve. He acts from the position “What for?” You will see a zero-woman in yourself if at least two statements above are true for your man:

1. He hasn’t changed a bit since you first met.
2. He doesn’t aim for a promotion or a raise. The prospect of changing the job terrifies him.
3. He has reasons and excuses for everything; he doesn’t solve problems but only tries to hide from them or attempts to neglect them.
4. His job is to make the ends meet. As long as he can pay the bills, all the rest is a luxury.
5. In case of financial difficulties, you decrease expenses but not increase the income.
6. He is always afraid: of taxes, competitors, raiding, the exchange rate, police… He is always happy to explain that business is a lost cause and if it were so simple, everyone would already be rich.
7. He doesn’t dream about getting a bigger flat, buying a better car, spending a vacation in places better than Egypt or Turkey. And when you talk about these things, he replies: what for? Or like this: once we have kids then…
8. He insists that a wife must work.

Such a behavior of the man states that his life hasn’t got the smallest motivations to do something. His task is not to make it worse, which means he only needs to go up the escalator with the speed it’s moving down.In conditions created by a zero-woman, a man is capable of nothing and will always be afraid of changes.

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Woman Plus (the type of woman you want to be):We’ve finally got to the gold standard. Some are more, some are less, but there are women for whom men are ready for everything. They perform feats, defeat the dragon, and bring treasures to their women. It happens even if the man was a fool before he met the plus-woman. Let’s check.

1. From a “lieutenant” your husband became a “general” which means he climbed the career ladder since you met.
2. You never hear about financial difficulties, problems at work; you don’t know how many loans he has or if he has any at all. The man solves all problems by himself.
3. He comes to you with enthusiasm to tell you about what he has achieved, what he has done, and what he plans on doing.
4. He is strives for business or already runs one.
5. He wants you to quit your job and provides for the family without your financial participation.
6. He cares about his looks and health: he works out at the gym, thinks about his nutrition, perhaps he even became a vegetarian or a raw eater, he gave up bad habits.
7. Besides work, he has a hobby.
8. He goes grocery shopping himself (with a list), solves the problem of changing your car’s tire, pays the bills, calls the repairer, and guards you against difficulties and physical stress.
9. Finally, he is married to you and is ready for children; he openly states that you are his BELOVED wife, doesn’t flirt with others and doesn’t even joke about it.You don’t have to be born this way to become such a woman. Actually, we were all born like this, but we were spoiled by the educational system that made no difference between boys and girls. To be this woman you need to stop being a minus- or zero-woman.

And this is her post on How To Be Attractive To Men:

This post was inspired by a conversation with my friends. I devote it to them!Women have some kind of alluring energy that everybody knows about. For some reason men latch on to some women and avoid others like a leper regardless of their good looks. And that is just the point.The more femininity a woman exudes the more men will respond to this call. To get this energy, you must... treat yourself!You should do just what you've always liked: go shopping, get a massage, spend time with your friends, write poems, go for a walk, take aromatherapy baths, take care of yourself.The most attractive girl is the one beaming with happiness, smiling, stepping lightly and looking great!Try to be friendly; watch the expression on your face. A poker face scares men more than dollar to ruble exchange rate.Do male strangers talk to you in the street?

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She has an instagram account where she posts about it, her Russian account is the most popular and just recently she started an english one: @milalevchuk_eng

Having a career doesn't make you masculine, cooking and baking doesn't make you feminine. Femininity is not what you do it's who you are and it probably already is inside of you. Being feminine is being sensual instead of sexual, being soft and flexible instead of hard and rigid. See what femininity means to you and if you find your femininity he will stand stronger in his masculinity. It's very much an introspective process. :)

I see you are looking for specifics, which is difficult, because they are very different from woman to woman.

Literal things that have made me reconnect with my femininity:

• I have started to listen to music that sounds feminine. (I have fallen in love with lykke li. The quality of her music is very feminine to me. “If you like the feeling of a hard rain falling. I’ll be a seafull, I can give you an ocean.” Those lyrics make me feel full and restorative.) I used to only be drawn to male voices and more masculine music. I still am because that is what I want, but not what I want to embody, if that makes sense.

• I have always been into makeup. It’s one of the best parts of my day. I focus on myself, I have fun with colors (not crazy clown, more in an artistic sense) and enhancing my features. I want to look good of course! But it’s also a solo kind of self-development. I cherish that time and the results. Recently, I have been putting more effort into smelling lovely. I obviously have always worn deodorant, but I invested in delicious smelling shower products, perfume that compliments me, luxurious hand lotion that feels and smells beautiful.

• I’ve adopted submission as a lifestyle, as an attitude (even outside of my relationship). I admire things that are worthy in a receptive way. I nurture things that are worthy in a restorative way. I acknowledge the suffering of myself and others gracefully. I seek benevolence within myself and I don’t let it be taken advantage of by establishing boundaries.

I have learned that femininity is an experience. Some women practically find the feminine experience in cooking, homemaking, clothing, art, gardening, hairdressing, all forms of creative nourishment. But I think truly, it’s not the doing of these things that makes them feminine, it’s the sensual response, the experience, that is feminine and receiving. And that experience is magnetic to the masculine.

I suggest that you find a spot in yourself that is malleable or soft and look into it, what makes you feel like a woman? Even a small seed of this tenderness can grow and bloom into the experience. I’ve found it to be the most authentic version of myself.