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- Hide Preview | 5 Comments | submitted about a year ago by sodadrop [Post Locked]

Hi everyone! I'm a 20 year old college student and I'm fairly new to RPW, so I'm currently in the process of reading through everything in this subreddit and trying to fully understand the RPW philosophy. Apologies if I've misinterpreted or misrepresented something; I'm still learning.

How do you approach a first date from a RPW perspective? I have my first dinner date (ever!) this Friday with a guy I met at a club meeting a few weeks ago. I've been in a LTR relationship (which developed out of a friendship) and I've gone on a few one-time casual dates with coworkers or classmates (people I've been familiar with / had common experiences with), but I've never been on a real dinner date with a person who's basically a stranger, so I'm fairly nervous. I'm really shy and when I feel pressured to talk a lot, I sometimes end up saying embarrassing or rude things that I don't really mean. I also struggle with talking about myself with people I don't know very well. Mainly, I just don't want to waste his time or make him feel miserable since he was so nice as to invite me to dinner; I would feel bad about wasting his Friday night. Writing this out, I guess I'm partly nervous about not living up to his expectations.

Do y'all have any tips on 1) how to make this date a nice experience and 2) how to approach this date from a RPW perspective? Are there certain things I should ask him or certain ways I should act? Should I be vetting him for marriage already? What's the RPW thing to do when it comes to paying the bill, initializing a second date, steering the conversation, mitigating any expectations (?) of physical intimacy, etc.?

Also, I'm wasn't particularly looking for a relationship right now. I go to a very liberal college where the vast majority of people hold views extremely contradictory to mine, so it's nearly impossible to find someone who I'm both worthy of and would actually consider marrying. I also got out of a damaging relationship about a year ago, so since then I've been mainly focusing on trying to improve myself and make myself into someone worthy of a good relationship with a good man. It's been difficult and I haven't made as much progress as I wanted yet, so I feel that I need more time to focus on improving myself before I can get a good man. I don't know if this information affects your advice, but I thought I'd add it just in case it does.

Thank you :)

[-] CalvinRichland 11 Points about a year ago

This might be unpopular but if you aren't open to a relationship why date at all?

As to your question. Frame your goal and work backwards. If you have no goal then you will end up older with a higer N count.

Also, many men aren't as liberal as they seem at that age but just stay under the radar. I went to a liberal college too but one day just went nuclear in class discussion. Nobody agreed with me or supported me in class but half the guys shook my hand later that day.

[-] sodadrop 4 Points about a year ago

I'm open to a relationship, but I'm not actively pursing one. While I do feel that I have a lot of improving still to do, I want to be careful not to become so focused on being "perfect" that I miss out on a good guy because I feel like I haven't achieved perfection yet. I also (not sure if this a the correct RPW thing to do?) wouldn't mind getting practice dating and trying to implement RPW; hopefully practice would help me frame my goals better and pinpoint what I need to work on.

Thank you for the advice :)

[-] Kaboomboomboomboom 3 Points about a year ago

You make it a nice date experience by being beautiful, friendly and calm. Calmness can be achieved by herbal anti anxiety medication, it’s no big deal. Be dressed nicely, be upbeat but respectful.

It’s good that you’re not actively looking for a relationship. That way you’ll judge him more rationally.

[-] [deleted] about a year ago
[-] pearlsandstilettos 1 Point about a year ago

This is not RPW advice. You need to spend some more time lurking here before giving additional advice.

Here is our wiki