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- Hide Preview | 5 Comments | submitted 9 months ago by sodadrop [Post Locked]

Hi everyone! I'm a 20 year old college student and I'm fairly new to RPW, so I'm currently in the process of reading through everything in this subreddit and trying to fully understand the RPW philosophy. Apologies if I've misinterpreted or misrepresented something; I'm still learning.

How do you approach a first date from a RPW perspective? I have my first dinner date (ever!) this Friday with a guy I met at a club meeting a few weeks ago. I've been in a LTR relationship (which developed out of a friendship) and I've gone on a few one-time casual dates with coworkers or classmates (people I've been familiar with / had common experiences with), but I've never been on a real dinner date with a person who's basically a stranger, so I'm fairly nervous. I'm really shy and when I feel pressured to talk a lot, I sometimes end up saying embarrassing or rude things that I don't really mean. I also struggle with talking about myself with people I don't know very well. Mainly, I just don't want to waste his time or make him feel miserable since he was so nice as to invite me to dinner; I would feel bad about wasting his Friday night. Writing this out, I guess I'm partly nervous about not living up to his expectations.

Do y'all have any tips on 1) how to make this date a nice experience and 2) how to approach this date from a RPW perspective? Are there certain things I should ask him or certain ways I should act? Should I be vetting him for marriage already? What's the RPW thing to do when it comes to paying the bill, initializing a second date, steering the conversation, mitigating any expectations (?) of physical intimacy, etc.?

Also, I'm wasn't particularly looking for a relationship right now. I go to a very liberal college where the vast majority of people hold views extremely contradictory to mine, so it's nearly impossible to find someone who I'm both worthy of and would actually consider marrying. I also got out of a damaging relationship about a year ago, so since then I've been mainly focusing on trying to improve myself and make myself into someone worthy of a good relationship with a good man. It's been difficult and I haven't made as much progress as I wanted yet, so I feel that I need more time to focus on improving myself before I can get a good man. I don't know if this information affects your advice, but I thought I'd add it just in case it does.

Thank you :)