I'm always a little sad whenever I see pictures of couples sitting on their couch in sweatpants, old shirts and messy hair. I believe a woman who wants to be high value can't just neglect her appearance just because she's at home with her man and 'nobody sees me anyway'.
Your man sees you! If you dress up and look beautiful for anyone it's him! Not the strangers you encounter outside of your home!
Of course he will appreciate it and think of you as a high value woman when you take the time to take care of your appearance, do your hair, put on a little make up and make sure you are dressed nicely, don't have a bad breath and wear his favorite fragrance.
Another part of this is wearing 'household clothes' to protect your appearance. When I'm at my fiance's place and I'm cooking or doing chores I wear a cute apron that not just protects my clothes and appearance but I also know he enjoys seeing me in them. He didn't like it when I put my hair in a bun so now I wear kerchiefs to protect my hair and look extra cute. I wear gloves to make sure my hands stay soft and don't get rough from the cleaning agent. Those are simple ways to look cute and take care of your appearance at the same time.
There is so much value in keeping up your appearance around him, no matter where you are. What's your opinion on this? And do you also wear aprons or specific clothes for household tasks?
cynicalhousewife 5y ago
I think this is one of those things where it's different for different couples. My house is where I want to feel relaxed and don't want to have to worry about these things. That's why I chose a man that doesn't have a problem with it.
aussiedollface2 5y ago
I have so many dresses it’s ridiculous, and I love wearing them around at home because they are so easy to throw on. It’s really hot where I live so I just wear cute little floral or summery dresses, barefoot and a bit of makeup at home usually. Even if I’ve finished all my stuff for the day, I do try to keep my outfit on until hubby comes home because otherwise he would just see me in my nighttime pyjamas etc lol xo
merel-- 5y ago
Being able to be comfortable with eachother is also extremely important. Coming home, washing off your makeup and snuggling in pajamas after dinner is amazing.
And I look amazing just wearing his shirt and a ponytail ;)
ammekcuf 5y ago
I agree. If I dress up for home, it just doesn't look comfortable and home-y which in turn affects my partner. We both want to feel comfortable at home.
stacysmom40 5y ago
My husband is ravenous for me when I roll out of bed. Hair everywhere. Morning breath. No make up.
That said, five minutes of putting myself together leaves me much more confident. A full 30 minutes of shower, tooth brushing, and a dash of makeup and I can take on the world.
I do wear an apron when cooking though. Because even if it’s a T-shirt and jeans, I don’t need to deal with grease spots on my clothes.
girlwithabike 5y ago
I think there is a real balance that you have to figure out. Once you live together, it's impossible to be "on" all the time.
I don't take my make up off until right before bed but I do put on PJs in the evening. I will also stay dressed from work until after he's home so he's not only getting my night time stuff. Except recently, I'm not a yoga pants or sweats type of girl and never have been, so my weekend clothes tend to be at least jeans, heeled boots and a fitted top.
I want my husband to get my best but at the same time, I need to be comfortable in my own home after working all day. What I do have is an extensive lingerie wardrobe to make up for the fact that I'm not dolled up for him 24/7.
Kaboomboomboomboom 5y ago
Also, there are lots of clothes for wearing at home that are fitted and in nice colors, but from softer materials that are acceptable for work. This kind of clothes make evening cuddles much better :)
bambiliftsweights 5y ago
I agree - he LOVES a cozy Bambi in sweat pants.
I purposely buy sweats that hug my ass - I’m cozy and look hot.
He says it’s a very wifey look.
[deleted] 5y ago
My boyfriend still thinks I’m gorgeous in pyjamas and a messy bun with no makeup. In fact, he loves it when I wear skimpy pyjamas around the house. He appreciates my appearance in all of its states.
My appearance is very important to me and I have a wardrobe full of beautiful clothes. I keep my skin clear, my hair shiny, and my body fit at all times. I wear makeup most days, but my boyfriend is well acquainted with my bare face and always has been.
My point is that you should find yourself a man who thinks you are beautiful no matter what (within reason), and never puts pressure on you to look dolled up 100% of the time.
skeleflor 5y ago
This underscores the importance of basic maintenance. Good hygiene, fitness, and grooming are the best canvas a woman has to work with. A fit body, healthy and beautiful skin and hair are the foundations of attractiveness. The rest is gloss.
I like to be comfortable at home with a man without sacrificing femininity or sexual allure. There are alternatives to sweats. I like to wear vintage silk or lace camisoles under a tight-fitting ballet wrap of cashmere or some other soft, inviting, touchable material. Keeps me cozy while exposing peeks of decolletage. If wearing my hair up, I make sure to leave a few tendrils loose to frame my face and the erogenous zones of my neck. I'll clip it with a pretty barrette that looks like jewelry or I'll tie it with a colorful scarf. I might steal his college rugby shirt or one of his henleys and let it unbuttoned at the cleavage line. Cute and comfy.
AdaRuby 5y ago
MY husband and I both work from home and so this is a real concern for me. He said there was no need to dress like I was actually going into the office each day, but when I'm wearing my comfy 'house clothes' (usually tights/leggings and a tshirt or athletic wear) I feel so... sloppy :/ I would love to hear from other ladies or receive suggestions on what others wear around the home that's comfortable and cute-but-not-too-dressy.
[deleted] 5y ago
My husband and I both wfh and even though he says he doesn’t care I notice that he responds to me differently when I’m dressed nice, hair done, with makeup. He says he hates when I wear makeup but his reaction to it says otherwise.
It’s all about balance, I think.
SirenOfScience 5y ago
I recommend heading to a cheaper or secondhand clothing store and adding to your "house clothes". I usually get a few comfy dresses/ skirts, soft sweaters, tunics, and leggings. I'm still comfy but much more put together than typical athletic wear. I think leggings are really cute with a long tunics or slouchy sweaters in a pretty color or pattern. I usually don't do my makeup when I'm at home but I will do a quick little style to my hair. These outfits are comfy enough that I can lounge around or do light housework in them (sweeping, dishes, wiping down surfaces) but also throw on a pair of cute shades and shoes should we need to go out somewhere!
norahlady 5y ago
I work from home too. On days where I plan to go out after work (even just for grocery shopping), I do my hair/makeup and get dressed in nice "real" clothes in the morning and wear them all day. On other days, I wear comfy but cute clothes, like leggings and a soft sweater, or a fitted t shirt with a stretchy swingy skirt. I'll put a little makeup on and my hair up with a cute bandana. I was a total slob for the first few months of working from home, and it really wasn't good for my mood or motivation.
ragnarockette 5y ago
Same. The struggle is real.
I usually just put on jeans and a cute tee or sweater. I don't typically do a full face of makeup but I will do powder and some lippy. For hair I will typically put my hair in a cute, messy updo, or milkmaid braids. I try to always put on earrings or a cute necklace too. At night I usually wear a little nightgown over booty shorts.
Honestly, I am so not the pearls and florals type. I do have an apron, though!
ammekcuf 5y ago
Maybe swap the tights/leggings for thigh high socks? My partner thinks they're cute and sexy and I would agree that they look better.
bambiliftsweights 5y ago
Oh my god that’s a good idea.
[deleted] 5y ago
I'm buying some tomorrow. I havent worn them in ages! Thank you!
thatbadlarry 5y ago
While I agree that sloppy stained t shirts aren’t nice - there is a balance here. You don’t live with your guy yet so you’re not really in this stage yet but - honestly there’s a real intimacy in your man seeing the real you - no makeup, pyjamas and all. It’s a privilege not many should have. My Dad loved seeing my Mom come in from hard work in the garden - all full of dirt and wearing his too-big shirt. It’s intimate and real. There is a balance though. Soft leggings that make your ass look great and soft, touchable sweaters are perfect for evening Netflix cuddles. Keeping up hygiene and smelling nice if not neutral should be really important at all times. Being comfortable shouldn’t mean being smelly, dirty, greasy or wearing yesterday’s mustard stains.
Ruinedgirl22 5y ago
I totally agree with you although this is pretty controversial. You don’t have to be all dressed up and you don’t even have to wear makeup- just make sure that you look at least feminine. I personally love wearing camisoles and short sleep shorts. They’re very comfy yet they show off my figure.
TheSelfGoverned 5y ago
He values your relaxed attitude and positivity more, i promise.
Save dressing up for appropriate events.
Jikira 5y ago
I literally am naked 90% of the time I am at home. The other 5% I am wearing comfortable lingerie and the last 5% I am wearing my kimono.
I started doing this a a joke when we first moved in, but now I feel more comfortable naked than cloth....
Ruinedgirl22 5y ago
Same lol I’m always naked XD I don’t think my man will mind
Kara__El 5y ago
This is a bit silly. I agree that women can be overly sloppy around the house, but I'm not wearing an adorable hazmat suit over my pearls to keep them clean. Find cute versions of comfy clothes and throw out anything ratty. I live in yoga pants and his flannel t-shirts and hunting socks in the winter and athletic shorts and tank tops in the summer. There is a middle ground.
Edit: I wear dresses and flats to work every day. The above defines what I do at home.
girlwithabike 5y ago
I don't think she's being silly so much as it's a young woman in a very traditional courting relationship. She doesn't live with him and they aren't yet married. At 20 my then BF didn't see me without makeup (I wore it to bed when I was with him) and I didn't own flat shoes. These things change as you get older and learn to be more comfortable in your skin and with the man you are with.
merel-- 5y ago
Omg I can already feel my skin dying as I read this T.T
[deleted] 5y ago
Lmao forreal though
Kara__El 5y ago
She's coming off as giving general relationship advice, not advice for the courting stage, so I do think it's unrealistic to suggest that everyone cook in their nice work/going out clothes and just put on a cute apron, that they all sit around the house in heels. If anything, OP, herself, needs to know that it's okay to walk around in her own home wearing cute, clean sweatpants five years from now.
What women wear around the house is a topic worth discussing, but her suggestions go too far for anyone in a long term relationship.
girlwithabike 5y ago
This I agree with 100%
okayestwifey 5y ago
Frankly, relationship advice from unmarried/non-LTR women to married/LTR women is always a bit ???? for this exact reason.
bambiliftsweights 5y ago
Totally agree with you.
RFishy 5y ago
My man loves my messy hair
videlachkadua 5y ago
Cute and casual at home. It makes you feel better anyways. When I'm not well groomed it's usually when I'm sick.
Like a cute tank top and some nice form fitting jeans or shorts are the best. Along with nice flowing dresses.
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mercymerci0 5y ago
My boyfriend and I live together, so as other posters have said it's pretty unrealistic to wear my work/fancy clothes around the house. I try to wear leggings instead of sweatpants, and either a cute oversized sweater or tight cami with a flannel shirt.
Oddly enough the thing he's most vocal about liking on me at home is this oversized, fluffy, bright pink onesie LOL. Seriously this thing is so tacky and at least 4 sizes too big.
Zeldafan1023 5y ago
On the flip side, my husband despises my onesie. He says it makes me look like a gigantic baby lady, but it's soooo stinkin comfy.
Pixie0310 5y ago
I totally agree! Though yes, it's practical to be comfortable, you can be comfortable without looking slovenly.
I used to reach for ripped stained teeshirts, stretch pants, etc. Now, I put at least a little makeup on, even if I'm only home for the day. I have cute pink matching pyjamas and slinky little night dresses. Even my more "cosy" pjs are matching, pink, and girly.
I don't think you ever need to look super sloppy, tbh.
[deleted] 5y ago
Here is how I strike the balance. I live with my fiance (marriage is in two months) so we have to see each other in down times. He wears a shirt and tie to work during the day. Sometimes he keeps it on for a little while after getting home because he knows I think it is so hot and then he changes into basketball shorts and a tshirt when dinner is served so nothing gets on the formal attire. I wear a nice dress and do light make up even on days I am not going out. In the evening when my fiance is home I may opt to keep the same outfit on but take off the bra and panties to be more comfortable and give easy access. Make up comes off before bed and sometimes late in the evenings I lounge around in a night gown. Typically I sleep in nothing. He sees me with no make up and messy hair every morning when we wake up next to each other and I doubt he would be so happy to marry me if he thought my face was unpleasant to look at without makeup. I also always wear bare feet in the house. Heels will damage our hardwood floors in our new house and he would be so mad if I wore them indoors and risked damaging the property value.