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- Hide Preview | 36 Comments | submitted 6 months ago by barbiebaby233 [Post Locked]

Hello, I would love to learn more about men and how they think? Do any of you have any books/sites/resources that could help me? It would also help me if the resources were written by men, but women are fine too. Thank you

[-] meganisi 17 Points 6 months ago

“The Way of the superior man” / David Deida / perhaps the most important book on the askmrp sidebar.

[-] white_girl_lover 10 Points 6 months ago

The rational Male. Basically summarizes the behaviors and psychology behind men. But it talks about a lot of other things to, so you can skip to whatever chapters are relevant. Great book overall tho

[-] Brewingupabrownstorm 8 Points 6 months ago

Robert Moore and Douglas Gillette - King, Warrior, Magician, Lover : Rediscovering the Archetypes of the Mature Masculine

https://www.amazon.co.uk/King-Warrior-Magician-Lover-Rediscovering/dp/0062506064#byline_secondary_view_div_1540027296351

I found this deeply interesting and useful :)

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[-] Daktush 7 Points 5 months ago

Male lurker here, from what I learned about sex differences from J Peterson, Brett Weinstein, and own observation and experience:

Let me start by saying men and women are more alike than different, I know that the personality traits where men differ the most from women is aggressiveness, and a random man compared to a random woman is more aggressive 60% of the time. 60-40 in the trait we differ most in our thinking is not much, however there is a caviat. In many aspects of our society those most visible are not the ones that are at the center, but those who are at the tails. If you take 100 people, and find the most aggressive one, he will nearly always, be a man.

Also, many small differences accumulate: J Peterson mentions how if you perform a psychological test you can tell who is a man and who a woman with 75% accuracy. If you bring preferences into the mix (men tend to prefer to interact more with things than with people, relative to women, for example), the accuracy jumps to 95%.

 

About stories men enjoy: I read that men like more books that are more historical than fantasy, and focused on characters that battle an evil world. From my experience this is definitely true and I was surprised on how well I fit within that gender stereotype. Invariably all the books I enjoyed most had that theme going on (Roahl Dahl's flying alone, Orwell's homage to Catalonia, Primo Levi's if this is a man, I forget whose the painted bird, and stuff like Robinson Crusoe or Treasure Island)

 

Thick skin and emotional strength are encouraged from a very early age. Men, especially mature men (and not overgrown children) tend to be very stable emotionally, it's not easy to make them lose their temper. This might come across as them not having emotions, but this is not true, they just suppress them and not let them show - we prefer to carry our crosses in silence. Speaking or mentioning of what weights on a man can be very, very uncomfortable for him. Strength and competence are at the foundations of a man's psyche, compare talking to a man about the ways he is weak to pointing out to a woman all the ways that she is ugly.

 

We also care a lot less usually about our own well-being and general health. It has been shown that testosterone changes the region of the brain related to taking risks. This is why when you see someone doing something incredibly stupid and getting injured as a result - it's most usually a man.

This also ties to another point I wanted to make. Self sacrifice for a greater good is both well seen (less so lately, as masculinity is less celebrated) and expected, the worth of a man is measured by how well he serves those around him, without much regard for his well being. This is why for example it is shown that if a kid falls into a river, a man that is a stranger will jump into the water faster than the kid's own mother in average.

 

We are also less agreeable than women (remember, this is all on average), we don't avoid social conflict, take less shit without consequence, don't do a damn thing we don't want to do and don't care as much what others think of us. Outcasts and misfits are usually men because of this.

 

These might seem like very honourable and good qualities at first, but they are a double edged sword. The tendency to try to carry our woes alone, not let our emotions show plus being generally more aggressive and care less about our health tends to give men a tendency to snap. If you keep making a man's cross heavier, his spine will eventually break, then either two things will happen: He will kill himself (graph is suicide rates by sex and age), or he will become possessed with a shadow of rage. He will not care what happens to him or those around him, his only thought being to deliver what he perceives to be righteous revenge for those who have hurt him. Apparently what makes men break the most is humiliation (read somewhere 90% of school shooters were humiliated at school, and that confidence boosting anti depressives play a part too). Usually men can take it for years before breaking - but be very careful with humiliating a man. For three years, at an early age (8 to 10), I had a teacher that particularly liked to humiliate me in front of the whole class, and I saw that shadow start to peek from behind the curtain. It's not pretty, there are demons hidden in the depths of our mind that we don't want to look at. I consider seeing that darkness, and understanding that if pushed I could become a demon instead of a hero a crucial part of me growing up. Be careful with those that haven't seen their shadow and only believe they can be the hero of a story, they are missing a crucial part of maturing.

 

Last but not least there are differences in the IQ distribution. The mean of the distribution is the same for men and women, but the standard deviation differs. There is both more men at the lower ends of the IQ curve, and more at the high ends with the middle having women overrepresented. This is the glass ceiling feminists go about without mentioning most sewer workers are men (one job selects for people highest on the IQ curve, and the other pulls from the lower end, with men being overrepresented in both).

 

I wrote this all on mobile, sources were mainly JBP (who in turn summarized others, like Jung), Brett Weinstein, own experience, some science papers cited by a YouTube channel called think club.

 

Edit: Was adding a graph of suicide rates, some minor imrpovements in grammar.

Also, let me recommend some videos:

Feminism and the disposable male by Karen Straughan

Documentary The Red Pill, by Cassie Jaye (trailer linked)

Jordan B Petersons interview with Cathy Newman

Jordan B Peterson on sex differences

Video from Think Club breaking down another interview with Peterson and bringing in some scientific research

Unironically James Damore Memo on Google Bias, go into the possible non bias causes of the gender gap in tech

Joe Rogan has also interviewed many different people about this: https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=Joe+Rogan+sex+differences

[-] rookebay 2 Points 5 months ago

Thank you for this summarization! I am a huge fan of JBP. Since I have listened to him, I have gleaned a lot of simple truths about my own nature and what resonates with me. Seeing through a male lens without having to rewatch many lectures is very helpful.

Especially the part about talking to a man about how he is weak: that is something I will remember for any male I know and love, be it father, SO, son, etc,.

Also the part where you say that qualities may be a double-edged sword. I have found that be true of myself as well.

[-] mauibaya 1 Point 5 months ago

thanks for this info, I found it very insightful :)

[-] Daktush 1 Point 5 months ago

Happy to help :)

[-] MakeAmericaRichAgain 3 Points 6 months ago

You might laugh, but Steve Harvey's Think Like a Man... is actually pretty spot-on with a lot of the psyche-type discussions.

[-] lindseybeth14 3 Points 6 months ago

Came here to say this! Those books were soo good. I read both of them. They were the first books I read that changed the way I thought.

[-] TurnItBackOnThem 3 Points 6 months ago

There are books and classes by Allison Armstrong. Id suggest those.

[-] EasternEuropeanIAMA 3 Points 6 months ago

The Female Brain and The Male Brain by Louann Brizendine

[-] flareking41 3 Points 6 months ago

Dont know if there are more chapters that she hasnt covered yet but 7 posts should get you started.

https://www.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/90u0kb/for_women_only_men_are_visual_chapter_7/

[-] perkysue 2 Points 6 months ago

“Bringing Up Boys” by Dobson

[-] oh_buh_boy 2 Points 6 months ago

He by Robert Johnson is really good. He takes a Jungian approach.

He also has a book called She and also We amongst others

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[-] misionariaprotectiva 1 Point 6 months ago

“For Men Only”, the counterpart to the book mentioned above, is pretty good (assuming you’re looking for an LTR-friendly perspective).

[-] Cloud_Riverdale 1 Point 5 months ago

For Women Only

https://www.amazon.com/Women-Only-Revised-Updated-About/dp/1601424442

Great book on understanding not just men, but the distribution of how men might think on a given subject.

[-] OxfordCommasRGud 1 Point 6 months ago

Go to r/ asktrp, that’ll give you a pretty good insight.

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[-] party_dragon 2 Points 6 months ago

Lol how do you explain geeks?!

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[-] LuckyLittleStar 1 Point 6 months ago

Since men and women communicate differently this is a valid question ito ask. This whole subreddit is dedicated to helping women to communicate with men better.

[-] CalvinRichland 1 Point 6 months ago

I dont suggest the question is invalid only that there are only so many words for a non-complex question. Additionally I believe my insights of the 3 primary thoughts I assert are what men are thinking. This is not a troll comment.

[-] LuckyLittleStar 2 Points 6 months ago

Based on your posting history here, I do believe you when you say you are not trolling. But I also think as a product being male, you think men are fairly simple. But because women think like women there is a lot of learning involved for them with understanding men and how to communicate with them. So I think you genuinely (not trolling) don't understand the scope of the problem.

[-] CalvinRichland 1 Point 6 months ago

I agree with you there would be a lot of learning but respectfully assert that more acceptance than learning is needed. I also obviously support my point it can all be answered with the 3 items i listed and i was questioning OP what particular thinking she wanted to understand because most likely it will be a rather simple answer.

People fear the truth of men, but i do believe my insight is truth.