This is something I've been thinking about for the last week or so. We talk about SMV a lot on here and how you should "stay in your lane". I have seen and experienced a couple of things that will happen when you date up or down too much. This also isn't purely about SMV, it's more a whole package deal. How much does this man value you? And how much do you value him?

A guy with higher value than you is alpha widow central, we know you should not really go there. They don't need you because they can get basically any girl that is as good as you, they won't commit to you because they have so much options but they don't mind fucking you. They don't need to play games with you because they don't give a fuck about keeping you around, if you would tell them you never want to see them again they will respect that wish. Sometimes they don't mind fucking you again after you come crawling back.

There are also actually relatively good hot guys who won't use you for sex too long or maybe your behaviour has turned them off. You get a conversation that they don't really see themselves in a relationship (they mean with you ofcourse) and won't reach out again.

A guy with low value is also not the best idea because you will be put on a pedestal. Everything you want you will get, any time you throw a tantrum he wil bend to your will. You will lose respect for him very easily and won't see him as a 'real man'. So, not an ideal situation.

But there's one more thing that might happen with lower value guys, they will artificially inflate their worth. They will start playing you. They will make you insecure and give you the feeling you need them more than they need you. If you tell these guys you never want to see or speak to them again, they will act like they agree for a little bit, maybe a week, maybe a month, but they will be back. They will try to get some of you again. Not necessarily sex, but also a good meal or a phone call or text exchange (attention). These guys are terrified that you will run away as soon as they express their true feelings or stop playing games because they feel they aren't good enough. They NEED to be in control or you won't be obsessed with them anymore and they're right. I like to call this the faux-alpha widow, because you feel like he is better than you but he really isn't.

This behaviour can also appear on guys who would be good enough for you to date but got badly burned by previous relationships and are freaked out by commitment.

I feel like these are the most common scenarios of dating men that aren't in your league. Do you guys have had any differing experiences?