4. Real you vs. digital you. If you’ve continuously floundered on the first date every time you’ve met an LSSW in person, this could be your problem. If you’re more attractive in your profile picture than you appear now, she’ll brand you a liar.
And she’s not wrong in feeling that way. If a HB9 agreed to meet you for coffee and a HB4 walked through the door, you would feel the same. Humble yourself a bit and be honest; are you as attractive as you’re making yourself look? 1,000 numbers means nothing with 0 lays. Attracting them is only the first step. Maintaining their intrigue is the rest.
Before we delve into messaging on dating sites, let’s briefly discuss “baking”.
Baking is the process of leaving messages or text messages unanswered for long periods of time to invoke intrigue.
Just like in actual baking, LSSWs can be left to bake for too long or not long enough.
Over-baking is leaving a text or message for too long, often leading to an intended “soft” next. The resulting soft next isn’t the same as one towards a known woman, however, and future interactions with the LSSW may be lost as you have yet to exist to her i.e. have yet to enter her perception.
Under-baking is how most guys handle messaging on dating sites; as soon as the notification of a new message arrives, they jump on the sight and reply on the spot. This invokes over-investment in her and significantly weakens your chances of success in any form. Remember, women watch actions over words; if you’re responding to her immediately every time she messages you no matter the hour or day, she’ll notice your over-abundance of interest and be put off.
You should bake a minimum of 15 minutes and a maximum of 24 hours. The more attractive you consider her, the longer you bake.
Why? Attractive women expect a certain level of investment from men. By separating yourself from this expectation, you effortlessly invoke intrigue putting you above whomever else she’s considering.
Now back to the matter at hand:
5. Succint and selective. The shorter the message the better. Nowadays, I begin all encounters by sending “Hi” to every women I’d enjoy fucking. No punctuations, no double messages, no questions. This is the “casting of the net”; this part of the process is purely a numbers game. You only engage the women who reply back. Those that don’t have their reasons which you don’t have time to dwell in.
Your physique increases the number of initial responses, your frame increases the number of in-person meets, your SMV increases the number of sexual encounters.
If you’re having trouble in any of these areas, check their corresponding causes.
Her first response will almost always be “Hey”, “Hi”, “Hello”, etc. Follow it up with “What’re you looking for” (no punctuation). Starting off a conversation with “Hi” and following with “Whatre you looking for" has rarely changed for me. It’s pretty standard.
Oh, did she asked “How’re you?” or “How’re you doing?” Respond with “Good you” (no punctuation). Seems overly short and uninterested, right? That’s the point. We want her to feel as though you’ve got better people to message with. Too preoccupied to pay her any attention. She’ll say “good”, you say “What’re you looking for" and move forward.
6. “What’re you looking for” and the wonderful letter K.
This is the best point to judge her investment in you. If she gives you some long-winded explanation about how she wants guy whose sweet, funny, caring, blah blah blah, you’re officially under-invested in comparison. That makes the rest of this guide very easy.
If she responds with one word like “Friends”, she’s still under-invested, but no problem. We’ll use the rest of the guide to appear even less invested than her.
No matter what her response is, I reply with the wonderful letter “K” (no punctuation). An actual exchange:
The fact that I didn’t even acknowledge her desires for a man didn’t even phase her. If you’re ever in a bind and don’t know how to respond, always always use the wonderful letter K. Most times, because this mundane response is such a farcry from what they’re accustomed to, the LSSW will continue the conversation on her own. You’ll notice this a lot. It’ll seem like she’s having a conversation with herself. Just let it happen.
I was on Skype the other night with an LSSW and I played with my phone the entire time. I rarely looked at the screen.
She used this technique I like to call “blind firing” which is where she'd jump from topic to topic to see what grabbed my attention. She brought up sex, I looked at the screen. It’s sort of like a reverse psychology version of classical conditioning. Let her feel like she naturally reached the conclusion. Mind games through silence and succinctness.
NOTE: “K cool” and “K good” and “K great” (no punctuation) work as less-succinct variations. The K is what matters. It’s such an unimpressed and pedantic response, it’s hard not to use it.
Nobody joins on a dating site looking for friends. "Friends" on dating sites is slang for sex partners. Remember that.
If she asks what you’re looking for –especially after she just described her Prince Charming- respond with “Friends” or “Friends maybe more” (no punctuation).
In the last guide I made the mistake of advising “I can manage that much” as an acceptable response. That implies interest in becoming whatever lollipop definition of a guy she described previously and invokes an over investment. Remember, Friends means sex buddies. You want friends for now.
NOTE: If she says “Friends and you?”, you respond with “Same” (no punctuation).
8. “Whats your number”
You want to keep going until you get to the point where she has nothing left to say or the conversations hit an end. If she responds with “yeah” or “okay” or “cool” or anything that ends that arch of the conversation, respond with “Whats your number” (no punctuation).
If she follows up with “What do you do?” or “What’s your favorite color?” or “What’s your favorite movie?” respond with “Only in person” and keep going.
If she doesn’t respond to your number request, fuck it and move on. If multiple LSSWs are non-responsive at this point, check your SMV both in your pics.
If she gives you some schpeel about how “It’s too early to give out her number” or “she doesn’t give out her number after the first conversation” or she wants to “talk more on here more first to get to know you” or any other possible excuse, she either sees you as a potential provider, as a lower SMV compared to her or as desperate/sexually-depraved (comes across by responding too quickly; scarce mentality). This cake is bad, move on and work on yourself more.
PART 2: TEXTING
Unlike conversing on dating sites, texting is a bit trickier with someone you’ve never met, simply because this is usually when the real shit tests start. On top of that, ignoring, combating or brushing off these shit tests will usually lead to her cutting you off in an instant because remember: you don’t exist to her until you’re standing in front of her.
The goal of this section will be to establish your existence (and your frame) within her world by meeting in person, all-the-while avoiding those game-ending shit tests most people encounter at this stage.
Also, be very very succinct. Shorter the better. Think of what you want to say then shorten it as much as possible without using unnecessary abbreviations (u for you, wyd for what’re you doing, ur for your, etc.)
NOTE: Some phones (all Androids I believe) have a text setting called “Text Delay”. It allows you to edit any text you send out 30 seconds after pressing send before the text completely leaves your phone. I highly recommend altering these settings in your phone to prevent premature text responses.
9. Make her remember you. Once you’ve received her number, start off by texting “Name’s ___” with a picture of your profile picture attached to the text. Do this so that after you leave this conversation to “bake”, she’ll remember what you look like.
Women rarely save the numbers of guys they haven’t met. Sending your picture solidifies a reference to your physique should a great deal of time pass and she choose to reach out to you again.
Do this soon after receiving her number to keep it relevant.
10. Give her a taste. If she responds, reply back with a “Whatre you up to” (no punctuation) to invoke a small level of interest.
This may sound odd, but start a conversation with the sole purpose of leaving her hanging mid-way through. For example, start talking about movies, ask what hers are, and when she responds drop the conversation for the day. After baking, do not continue or acknowledge this conversation.
This’ll cause her to hamster, but the direction she hamsters isn’t really important. What’s important is that now you’ve become relevant to her.
11. Bake at 450 degrees. Bake for however long you deem appropriate do not continue or acknowledge the conversation you were having previously. Simply tell her “Hey” and move on to the next step.
12. “You free any this week”
You’re variation may change from mine, but I’ve found “You free any this week” (no punctuation) after baking to be the best way to get an LSSW out the front door.
If she says she's free on a particular day, don’t say “Let’s [blank]” or “We should [blank]” say “Im free after __” (no punctuation).
Remember, women don’t too much care for blunt, direct conversation. Imply what you want without outright saying it. You asking if she’s free is implication enough that you want to meet her. If she asks what you two will be doing, dance around it but stay succinct. “Whatever we want”, “Whatever I feel like doing”, “Things”, “Crazy shit”, “Cool stuff” are all evasive-type answers that can build up intrigue.
If she asks when to meet up, say “Whenever” (no punctuation). If she asks where, just send the address. As short and sweet as possible.
13. Make her ass worry you flaked. Whether you’ve decided to meet back at her place or at some coffee shop, once the date/time has been finalized and the address decided, don’t bring it up again and if possible, stop texting her until that date (unless she reaches out).
Do not double-check the time you’re meeting, don’t check if she can still make it, don’t call her to say you’re on your way, etc. She’ll do that for you and you need to allow her to. It’ll further her investment in meeting you.
NOTE: I’ve noticed that reconfirming dates will increase an LSSW’s likelihood to flake, even after all this guide has explained. By not reconfirming and letting them reach out first, I’ve yet to see one LSSW flake.
14. Flakes will happen. For flaking, I like to use the College 20 rule. If she doesn’t show or contact me in 20 minutes after our arranged time, I’m gone. Don’t get mad. Don’t get upset. Don’t reach out. Simply drive off and go do something else. You’d be surprised how surprised they get when you don’t passive-aggressively call after being stood up. If she calls later, act like it didn’t faze you. Or even better, tell her you didn’t show up either! Show control of your emotions an she’ll repay you in kind.
An LSSW was supposed to meet me and my friends one weekend to attend a rave. She never showed nor called. I dropped it and we had a good time.
Two days later I get a half page message of how sorry she was that she’d forgotten. She invited me over as recompense. Maintain frame.
Don’t be shaken.
Always expect a flake and always have a back-up strategy. A fun thing you can do should she not show up. This will keep you from making your happiness dependent on her arrival; sure having her around would be cool, but the mall is 5 minutes from here.
Lesson Learned: Behavioural patterns of LSSWs can be controlled for the experimenter’s best possible outcome through a concise, repeatable cause-and-effect method developed through behavioural experimentation and approach modification.
For any further questions, I'm open to talking over Skype under Skype username OmLaLa2015. Please message me set up a meeting.