Maybe some of you remember [This thread] (https://www.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/6j17tf/are_all_girls_like_this_break_up/) After month of no contact, I get a phone call today from an unrecognized number, i decided to pickup and voila, i recognized the voice. it was my EX, She asked me how i was doing, If i missed her and missed the old things, I replied with a single and symbol word No. And i'm busy right now,please don't contact me again. She started crying on the phone, Yes Sure i felt pretty guilty and mean but i tried to keep myself together, she started to beg me:
Can we please start over i really miss you
Me
No we cannot start over. You wanted to be single and get more experience and do not contact me again.
Then i received a text messaged from her:
Hey darling, Please read this you want to read this you know i love you more then everything..... Then i stopped reading and deleted it. It was a lot more than just those words but i just couldn't read it.
Right now i feel like a piece of crap hearing her voice again, I'm trying to keep myself busy from not calling back and tell her to come over.
This past month i've been decent busy, I'm hitting the gym, flirting with girls, Trying to read but my ADD is holding me back at that. I've been suffering depression like having hard time getting shit done, like the gym and my friends. But i go to the gym 5-6 times a week, sometimes 2x a day if i'm feeling very down, right now i'm not at work because summer vacation. But i got pretty good friends both girls and guys that have been talking to me daily and doing something with me. But i'm trying to also learn to be alone.
My words to you all: This i way harder than i ever imaged, I've been wanting so much to contact her but it's been less lately but until she called. But still i wont!
TheRealMewt 6y ago
Once upon a time I blocked my ex from being able to contact me over the phone and via Facebook. One day, I received a call from a phone number I didn't recognize, but I recognized the voice. In the end, I added another phone number to my block list.
This can work for you too.
BraindeadIQ 6y ago
It's what i did.
SiulaGrande 6y ago
lmaaaoooooo on point
VasiliyZaitzev 6y ago
Hey, you're doing great. She had to resort to the "unknown number" trick.
Translation: "Except riding other dicks. I totally love that more, which is why I dumped you specifically so I could go ride other dicks."
You: "Why don't you go back to your home on Whore Island?
Sorted.
You're doing great, btw. Stay no contact. Don't give her the time of day. She's not your problem.
BraindeadIQ 6y ago
Thank's, she's gonna be somebody's else problem maybe if she find's a beta boy.
electricspresident 6y ago
Ahh Vasiliy in the end though, aren't like 99% of them whores? Like I keep getting suprised by their actions man it tilts me. Like yea sure OP will move on but by then the next girl he meets will have already done shitt like his ex to some other guy. Basically almost every girl I know has jumped on 20 ducks by 21years. One would have to find a young Virgin at 18 today to have a stable family life
VasiliyZaitzev 6y ago
AWALT, but it's what she does with AWALT.
Put another way, there are the people who start looting as soon as there's a riot. Then there are the people who won't start looting until they see someone else looting, and so forth. Nearly everyone has a breakpoint where they say "fuck it" and join in. Some won't join in at all, so thing of the first ones as "sluts" and the last group as "good girls", and proceed accordingly.
AwakenedSovereign 6y ago
Yes, AWALT.
However there is a big difference between a whore who respects you and a whore who doesn't. Once she crosses YOUR line, shes gotta be done.. next chick may be just as much of a hoe but if you learned your lesson she won't get away with shit
[deleted] 6y ago
Preach. Cut that bitch off
Kommanderdude 6y ago
If you are grounded in trp and self focused enough. It's entirely possible to plate her preferably for anal only. But from what you say in your post it sounds like u have some issues so I'll recommend you block her new number and delete the text. She thought she could do better but couldn't and now she is crawling back. Fuck this cunt.
BraindeadIQ 6y ago
Yes i still have some issues with feelings for her, But with time i'll get over it. But still i don't take any chance of plating her.
[deleted] 6y ago
I have ADD and here is my tip:
AUDIOBOOKS
BraindeadIQ 6y ago
Awesome! thank you.
[deleted] 6y ago
Audible has WISNIFG, Bang! and Day Bang!
maybe more but I haven't checked
p0inky 6y ago
How are you able to go to the gym 5-6 times per day? Assuming this wasn't a typo, I would pour some energy into some other ventures instead of five trips to the gym each day.
Out lift and out earn
putsomecolourson 6y ago
It's clearly a typo. He means 5-6 times per week.
p0inky 6y ago
Fair enough. You just never know with some people when they are in the throes of depression. I've seen people at my gym who are always fucking there regardless of the time I go and it always made me wonder.
BraindeadIQ 6y ago
Typo, Sorry. I've actually gone 2 times some days. When i was weak as hell and my friends where working. I mean it's better then staying home and overthink like crazy fuck.
WhorehouseVet 6y ago
You have better frame control than 90% of men out there.
BraindeadIQ 6y ago
It's all thanks to TRP. But this is just part of the story this is only the end. There's a lot more that happened before that i actually put up with which should have made me walk away sooner. But then i didn't know TRP.
[deleted] 6y ago
It's mainly hard because you realize how full of shit she was and what a fool you were for every believing in it in the first place.
I don't mean this to be an asshole. I came to this realization at one point too.
W_O_M_B_A_T 6y ago
I remember your last post. Thanks for the update.
Fuck no. You're doing the right thing, bro. To hell with that oily, slick bitch.
Ouch. She's pulling out the big guns, like a whiny child who got told she can't have an expensive fad toy for christmas.
Your ex is a manipulator. Nothing she says has objective meaning beyond getting what she wants, right now.
Go ahead, take a hit of crack cocaine. You've been sober for long enough, you can handle it. What's the harm?
BraindeadIQ 6y ago
She can try whatever she want's to! i'm not gonna budge. I can't. if i do this was all for nothing.
sirfuckboysupreme 6y ago
She's doing that to see if she has you wrapped around her little finger. Do. Not. Call. Her.
Life gets better and you sound like you have a good grip of things. Carry on as you were ????
BraindeadIQ 6y ago
Yes i know, i have a decent grip haha, lucky i got friends that help out.
Docbear64 6y ago
The hardest thing to understand is this scenario is that the girl doesn't miss and didn't value you . Because if she honestly cared about you , if you truly were that important to her she wouldn't have dropped you just to hop on the cock carousel.
The long text message she sent you was just more attempts to manipulate you back because now she has more "experience " and she's learned dudes probably aren't into being there for her the way you were .
this fucking hurts I know but you're not the one missing out man she is , she's the one who wanted to throw away what you two had and now she's the one who wants to crawl back like nothings changed. It's her loss .
You keep on working on yourself and do what you can to keep your mind occupied , it definitely is hard but it also is necessary .
BraindeadIQ 6y ago
Yes it's very hard tbh! one of the hardest i've ever put up with! but in the end it's all worth it, I have to have some self respect.
thechaosz 6y ago
One million internet bucks for this comment
[deleted] 6y ago
[deleted]
BraindeadIQ 6y ago
No never! i got self respect, but honestly it's hard no matter what i try. I'm trying my best to leave this in the past. it's already in the past. but keeping my mind of it and trying to think of it as "learning" experience rather than mistake.
[deleted] 6y ago
[deleted]
BraindeadIQ 6y ago
So true, But right now i'm not ready for another LTR. Atleast not until i get my life together.
[deleted] 6y ago
[deleted]
BraindeadIQ 6y ago
Thank man! Yes i guess we won't really get over this because honestly we got some good memories that i'll always think off.
As time passes i´ll be looking at this as Learning rather than mistake and learn to live with this better.
I_AM_CALAMITY 6y ago
Read in a Russian accent
quicklogaccount 6y ago
Hard man.
Get yourself a rebound man, there's no shame there. It'll ease things.
TRPTosser 6y ago
Even better, get two or three. Learn to juggle them.
BraindeadIQ 6y ago
Haha, This cranked me up.
Psychocist 6y ago
He's being serious. Once you've learned to juggle a couple of women almost effortlessly it'll be hard for you to return to monogamy. As a bonus, it will help keep your head level by not investing into one person.
BraindeadIQ 6y ago
Oh.. Nice never did think of it like that! Great tip. Thanks!
Psychocist 6y ago
Ironically, that low-investment, implied/actual abundance will make you behave more attractively (not needy, not chasing).
But be sure to consciously do it next time to start fucking someone you like. Just carry on dating and eventually you'll find yourself with a growing harem and then you can focus a little on plate theory. It snaps you straight out of a monogamous mindset and you can start to truly play the field and learn.
Good luck! Sounds like you handled this break up really well.
[deleted] 6y ago
She wanted to fuck some guy/s, she left uou in order to do so and now she's coming to realise that while it's easy enough to get fucked by those guys, getting commitment from them is impossible.
The next obvious step from there is re-securing your commitment. Don't be surprised if you hear from her again - but at the same time, don't wait to hear from her.
Keep doing what you're doing. You're on track.
BraindeadIQ 6y ago
Yes the only surprise that i'm waiting on is if i bump into her.. I know i can take on it like a man, but it's gonna be twice as hard.
creepyThrowawayP 6y ago
Just imagine her sucking on someone else's and then swallowing.
walawalawa 6y ago
Dude...you handled this great. Yes, it's hard but what you did is consistent. Do not contact her or respond.
Dude, you're feeling down but you're not suffering true "Depression"---going to the gym nearly every day---depressed people can barely get out of bed.
Stop being so hard on yourself. This is still a Blue Pill/Codependent hangover which you need to shed.
Take pride in how you handled it. Move on.
BraindeadIQ 6y ago
Thank's yes it's not true depression, it's just me being to hard on myself!
walawalawa 6y ago
Stop the negative cycle. I get it. Misery loves company.
But it's a crutch. Stop yourself when you find that urge to feel sorry for yourself and are seeking validation.
Stop second-guessing yourself. Her behavior is text-book. We can predict it.
She'll keep coming back. Two things: 1) you'll stop caring eventually and it will become a non-event 2) you'll cave-in, bang her...and she'll get the validation but you will start the cycle of oneitis again.
That's why we advise dudes not to turn exes in to plates.
BraindeadIQ 6y ago
Yes, I also read it somewhere on TRP that turning exes into plate was bad idea. I'm gonna go no contact. Because i admit if i would use her as plate eventually it could lead up for feelings again, i don't want that. It's gonna be same as before.
Maybe some guys here could do it but i wouldn't be able too.
Also thank you. I'll do my best to stop myself. I think with time it's gonna stop, because i can't really stop it just like that.
RPNietzsche 6y ago
Get a rebound, think about it after you fucked your rebound. Guaranteed results
scramtek 6y ago
You done good son! Keep it up.
pentakiller19 6y ago
Good job! Proud of you!
Cunt_Robber 6y ago
Sounds like she was pumped and dumped and is looking for someone to keep around longer. She is prob a mess too and it sounds like not even her pussy is good enough to keep other guys around. Keep your head up. Teach yourself how to keep a positive mindset and encourage yourself in the things you choose to pursue and not pursue. I found a positive mindset greatly helps with setting up and maintaining a frame as well. The intensity of the feelings will subside and youll bounce back. Im sure if you look hard enough, there are some life lessons in this experience. Keep pushing forward cause you sure as hell aint going back
BraindeadIQ 6y ago
There's a lot of experience there. I'v learned a great lesson in life like most of us have here. Also one of the hardest.
Cunt_Robber 6y ago
Ive come to find it's part of the journey of becoming a man, sadly. You have to experience hypergamy, otherwise you'll never have the incentive to "wake up." Cheers man. Youre on the right path.
Peter_B_Long 6y ago
I broke up with a girl whom I was in an LTR with for 5 years 7 weeks ago. I can testify that it will get better. You've already dealt with the worse shit. In fact, feeling depressed and sad like this is going to make you fucking strong. First 2 weeks of the break up I was miserable. I tried to hold strong frame with friends and at work but it was fake. I was hurting inside and I too wanted to contact her and invite her over. I was fucking weak.
But right now, I feel stronger than ever. I don't give a fuck about most shit. If it doesn't help me with my goals, I don't give a fuck. If you aren't fuck yes about me, I'm not fuck yes about you. It's really fucking hard to get me a tiny bit upset or sad right now. If I hear anything that sounds like a shit test, I just laugh and plow through it.
Just keep busting your ass. I've been going to the gym every day, been meditating every day, been meal prepping every day, approaching, flirting, escalating, reading, started IF this week, starting Muai Thai on Tuesday. Got a new car, have met some awesome people. Just keep pushing and leave the trash in the trash.
BraindeadIQ 6y ago
Thanks! I guess it's the time that will help the most! also being positive and keeping that head up high!
Peter_B_Long 6y ago
Yes. Keep yourself busy and keep finding new ways to improve yourself
BraindeadIQ 6y ago
Also i've tried mediating but somehow i've always given up. I heard it's good way to think and help.
Peter_B_Long 6y ago
Do it for 10 days. Your life will change
LordThunderbolt 6y ago
The girl left you to go suck dick and get fucked. Why do you still care about a hoe?
BraindeadIQ 6y ago
I don't care, But honestly it's only been a month.
With time soon i'll be over this and this will all be in the past. As it is.
Metalgear222 6y ago
The blue you're exterminating will rear its ugly head from time to time. Just chalk it up to a learning experience; realize that you will thank yourself for remaining strong once the torrent of emotion settles for dodging a bullet, that you'll have a better workout today resulting in more gains, and that you're free to approach/spin any girl you see because you're not tied down to her anymore.
Simple as reminding yourself. Let that logic overrule that emotion. Good game, well played.
OvoAlex97 6y ago
You did good man. Trust me I acted like a little bitch during my last breakup and I wish wish wish I would've handled it the way you did. Naturally things will suck at first but time truly does help. The breakup has made my life much better by doing things I wouldn't have before, let this improve your life not damper it. Stay strong!
BraindeadIQ 6y ago
Thank you! I can only thank TRP for this, Otherwise i would be waiting for her.. Or trying to win her back.
This is just something all of us here have dealt with and it's just what happens. (break ups)
Frigzy 6y ago
I'm probably going to get a lot of flack for this, but I don't care. It reads very smoothly how you told her to instantly fuck off when she said she wasn't exactly happy with your sexual relationship and therefore wanted to experience more.
It's by the book, I know that, and there's a good reason why that's the case, but at the same time you're making a move which is socially unwise for lack of a better term.
One reply mentioned that if she really did care about you, she wouldn't even conceive the idea of 'experiencing more'. That's not necessarily the case. What she said was: "ive been dating you for 3 years and only slept with 3guys if i include you, only given 1 BJ". If she's only given 1 BJ in her life, am sorry to say but if she's into BJs that's at least an indicator of a crappy sexlife. Both parties are responsible for that, sure, but it's still telling.
If I was in OP's initial situation, I would have at the very least dug down to the essence of why she would reason like that and understand why our relationship is so inferior to that option. It's very likely that the result would be the same, but with a lot less drama and a lot more understanding from both parties. AND a lesson learned in on my part as to why my relationship game might throw women off.
Everyone seems to presume OP is blamefree and that the relationship was spotless. I highly doubt that and if OP truly acted the way he described it, I would never recommend such a harsh approach to anyone. The way it went down now is just unnecessarily asocial, the least you can do is treat her as a human being. It's not because there are plenty of other girls around that it becomes wise to treat people in a way that they will eventually hold resentment towards you. Regardless of the situation.
My point is that if you do it right, there's a good chance you don't even need to block anyone's number because they will understand it's pointless to call you, which -more importantly- in turn makes it a lot easier for you to ignore her and focus on more important things in life.
Just looking at how it threw you off like this makes/would have made a more humane approach worthwhile.
Kommanderdude 6y ago
What the fuck kind of faggotry did I just read. Fuck your bluepill logic. Get that shit out of here.
BraindeadIQ 6y ago
Hey, Yes. I acted like i did. But honestly yes there was more than just this. She gave me all kind of shit, Not just this also how she talked to me.
Our sexlife was alright. I'm not sure how that affects that she wanted to suck more dicks? Maybe she really wanted to experience more and really that wouldn't matter if i was the fucking god in bed. because she wanted to try something else, perhaps smaller dick? or bigger? nothing i can really do about it.
I was cold, That's why i feel bad. but honestly if i would tell you the half the shit she has done to me you would understand. I only told the part when i left, If i would tell the whole story the past few months ahead. some here would say i was crazy for staying that long in this ltr.
Frigzy 6y ago
Yeah, there's usually a lot more to these stories we read on asktrp, it's really hard for people to judge whether or not you've acted optimally.
If you want to cut yourself some slack, you can still talk to her for the sake of closure. For yourself obviously, she'll probably not understand for a while at least. But it would give you a good way to get all the shit she's done off your chest and lower the chances of her bothering you still.
That or you just keep ghosting her. It's what you feel most comfortable with at this point. (Trying to) fuck her again at this point however is not a good idea imo. It just opens up a dynamic where she feels she has some sort of leverage, you don't want to have that.
mrpoopistan 6y ago
I'm a bit of an emotional sadist. I'd be having a lot more fun in your position.
BraindeadIQ 6y ago
Like party's and stuff like that? I go to party's/Clubs.
mrpoopistan 6y ago
I mean directly fucking with her head.
Holdmuhdiik 6y ago
This is exactly where I was at 3 weeks ago. LTR of 3 years decided she wanted a break because she was clicking with some guy from work. She texted me to come get my mail one week later (we lived together for 3 weeks) so I went over there. After talking for about 5 minutes she told me they were dating. I left pissed. Last week I get a text from a random number saying how much I am missed and wish things could go back to how they were before. I knew this was her number so I opened the text and just left it on "read".
So during the 7 weeks we have been broken up I've modified my diet to become more attractive to girls for hookups since I am not looking for any relationship as I move cities in a few months. This and having a IDGAF attitude has managed to land me with 3 sexual partners since then.
Things get better without having a negative, weak woman in your life. You will totally realize this once you get with someone else!
BraindeadIQ 6y ago
This IDGAF attitude it's very hard, I try my best to put that IDGAF attitude, But since it's only been a month it's a little harder. But i don't talk negative about her or anything when people ask.
All i say is It didn't work out i know she told some mutual friend that I was an ASSHOLE few days ago, But it's just woman's thing to do, YOU'RE ALWAYS THE BAD GUY NO MATTER WHAT
Holdmuhdiik 6y ago
Yeah it's not easy for everyone. I ended it but I was saving face on her behalf saying things didn't work. Then once I heard her saying that it was her idea and she was talking shit, I flipped that switch and realized that since we're over, why should I care what she thinks or her friends think.
meaningintragedy 6y ago
You've got a lot of balls on you. Mind donating one or two?
BraindeadIQ 6y ago
Haha, Sure thing!
Throwawaysteve123456 6y ago
Nice man. You should start to enjoy this by now, I hope.
thechaosz 6y ago
I know this is not settled in trp, but what's the harm in hate fucking her or demoting her to a plate?
Just being a total asshole and making it very obvious you're just using her for sex?
FranckShmibery 6y ago
It's obvious he has feelings for her.
thechaosz 6y ago
Oh yeah.. Danger zone