Quick background:
Been talking/ hanging out with this 7/10 girl (21yo) for a month. I knew she was a party girl but she kept saying she’s not looking for a hookup. Thought to myself AWALT but she’s fun to hang out with so let’s see how this goes. She slept over at my place when my parents were out of town and same deal. Said she doesn’t have sex outside of relationships. Nothing happened except making out.
So last night I told her to come by my area and we went to a bar. While there I tried bringing up sex to get her excited and asked her what the craziest thing she’d ever done was. She took this as a sign to tell me everything wild she’s ever done. Some highlights:
• Hooked up in a park with a guy she met at a club for a ride home
• Had sex with a guy in a hotel because he paid for bottles while her friend was hooking up next to her. She called it an ‘orgy’ so I’m sure they switched partners at a point
• Hooked up with a girl in college (I was too stunned to ask if there was a guy involved but I’m sure there was
• Lost virginity at 16 to a guy who was mentally and physically abusive
• Would hook up with any guy who took her home in high school. Slept around A LOT (her words)
• Made out with a bartender in Cuba for free drinks
After all this I was literally speechless. So here I am sitting in the car with her after a fucking make out session like we’re back in high school with her telling me all this yet still saying she doesn't want to hook up outside of relationships anymore. Told me she didn't give her last bf a BJ until 5 months in. At the same time she said she loves sex and talking about sex, just won’t have it unless its in a relationship.
Now I was expecting AWALT and was ready for her to have done some crazy stuff but Jesus fucking Christ. Here I am a 24 year old who just lost his virginity in January and has had sex with one girl. I feel like I am playing in a whole different sport let alone league than this woman. So here’s my questions:
-
How the fuck do you guys deal with this? Was it as surprising for you as it was for me how much shit these women have done? I feel incredibly intimidated from this.
- She’s obviously trying to make me her BB and is withholding sex for a relationship. This girl was brazen enough to tell me she sleeps around but that she will not with me until we get exclusive. Thank god TRP taught me to nope the fuck out of this. The old me would just push the relationship and hope to be rewarded with sex like a good little boy.
I’m thinking of soft nexting and pulling some dread. If/ when she does contact me and ask what’s going on, what should I say? Don’t wanna sound petty or desperate but is there something I can say to get out of the bb zone and still possibly plate this girl?
mrpoopistan 8y ago
Haha. She thinks you're her gay friend.
Jelqtil12 8y ago
That's not even bad... She hasn't told you the bad stuff yet, she was just feeling you out before she let out the real ripper.
Gangbanged by 6 Jamal's and has a pussy looser than a snapped rubber band and I s still seeing 4/6 of the original Jamal's but they're "just friends" now.
You just gotta accept that AWALT. Good luck
GunsGermsAndSteel 8y ago
Dude they all do that shit. At least she told you.
Now you know what you're dealing with.
dabayer 8y ago
Thought I found a girl with some unicorn DNA, talked about sex while drunk... Awalt sometimes hits hard, man. But now I know what she is like and it she is not willing to do crazy stuff she used to in HS -> next
kingofpoplives 8y ago
THIS.
The stuff this girl did is pretty standard for a party girl. The average girl you meet in the club scene has done 90% of this, and some have done far more. Based on the post title I was expecting some kind of epic gang bang.
OP, it seems like you understand it would be crazy to expect monogamy to work with this girl. Like all women, she uses sex to get things that she wants. If a guy is hot enough, a sex for sex trade can be made. If he's a beta, she demands commitment in addition to sex, because her sex is worth more than beta sex.
The funny thing is that after you fade out on her or refuse the relationship because of her promiscuous confession, she'll just learn to lie about her past and the next beta she meets will be the sucker.
Girls like this can be a blast to hang out with as long as you don't treat them like a gf and get into monogamous relationships with them.
bobbybluepill 8y ago
I'm not the same man as you, but I'll share a bit regardless. I lost my virginity when I was 16 and had slept with over 100 girls by the time I had graduated college. It's not surprising to hear this shit at all, because younger girls have been in those situations with me.
How do I deal with it though? Honestly, it kind of sucks. I don't want to have an LTR with a girl who's not exceptionally attractive. But, at the same if, if she's that attractive, she's probably got similar stories as the ones you've described. If she doesn't, she's probably extremely boring or crazy. I just accept that this is the way it is.
This is actually an insane shit test. She's blatantly contradicted herself. Essentially, she's lied to you. And, if you stick around as her BB, it's now OK for her to lie to you. Because, you knew she was a liar before you got serious.
See, right here... You're afraid to lose her because you haven't had many women and because you think she's hot. I get it--we've all felt that way. Try as I may, I still feel that way sometimes and need to rationalize with myself that pussy is abundant. It's hard at first, but it gets easier.
You ought to just completely ignore her for awhile. Then, maybe a week later, invite her to your place and play music, laugh, drink shots. Make it just the two of you, but make it fun. And fucking ESCALATE. If you can't fuck her in that kind of a setting, just drop her. Not worth your time. You're running a Oneitis risk on a girl who's promiscuous and a liar--and she's treating you differently from a lot of other men. You don't have to agree to these terms and conditions to get a bang. Don't worry if you've only had one girl right now, more will come. I promise.
EDIT: Oh, and if you do wind up fucking her, make sure you do not get emotionally invested. This girl is not LTR material and isn't good for anything except fucking. Limit your interactions to once per week, MAX, and always make sure you fuck her. If she won't fuck, you go No Contact for a week.
genki-sama 8y ago
You slept with over 100 girls. You fucking slut.
bobbybluepill 8y ago
Yeah. I decided in college to sleep with everything I could. Not the most attractive group.
prodigy2throw 8y ago
Yeah I figured this was a shitty reality I would have to deal with. Just hit me like a tonne of bricks with her. I'm hoping more experience will help with this.
You're right. This is her trying to make me into the last bf she had. I am almost positive she cheated on him.
I wouldn't say I'm afraid of losing her, more so I want to turn this girl to a plate out of principle. Realistically, if I had an abundance of options I would cut her off after the first meeting but I really just want to fuck and make her into a summer fling. After finding TRP my standards for an exclusive LTR are so high I'm not even bothering looking at the moment. My main goal is getting as much experience with women as I can while lifting and becoming financially stable.
Oneitis is definitely a possibility just due to my shear lack of experience. Gotta stay vigilant with that though.
Not that we talk very often, but when she does text me should I just be distant and tell her I'm busy? or just completely ignore and reengage after a while?
I should also reiterate, I'm not desperate to get with her, I just want to figure out how to get into her pants because I'm assuming this won't be the first time I deal with a girl like this. I'd rather get general advice if you have anything more.
Thanks for the help.
[deleted] 8y ago
Does seem like you're afraid.
Honestly man it sucks realizing that most girls are huge sluts. AWALT.
Maybe its just not my style. But I'd never bring up sex if a chick is attracted to me. You have to BE and EXUDE sex in a physical manner, not talk about it.
However you did mention you were hanging out at a bar therefore you must have known you were in the friend zone.
Why?
Why put yourself there? It doesn't benefit you at all. If you have ONE plates you like to hangout with you're either in a ltr or you have oneitis.
I say cut contact and meet other chicks. By other I mean at least 2 others. Forget about this girl.
prodigy2throw 8y ago
This is probably the best advice yet. Just gonna move forward. Cutting this shit off. Likely she won't even message or contact me so whatever. Learning experience
Thank you.
betarex 8y ago
soft next and when she does contact you make it clear you'll only meet up if something happens. or if you aren't as ballsy as that, then if you do meet up and just make out, when you try to go for more and she says no, just get up and leave. bonus points before you do, make it look like you're texting someone else and mention that you'll get it from elsewhere.
OverdoseOfRedPill 8y ago
I've known a girl who confessed she kissed about 20-30 guys in a six month period when she was 19.
"At that time, it was what I needed"
sabinmightyfist 8y ago
The core principle of the redpill is truth; no longer can you look at the world with Disney tinted lenses. The truth isn't always pretty but it's important you know it so you can optimize your actions to best serve you. With this information you can now act in your own best interest and compartmentalize this girl in a way that best served you. You know she has many ltr red flags and should never be treated as girlfriend material.
mordanus 8y ago
Wow... an honest one eh? Take this as a huge learning experience and remember that all women are like this. Most of them just don't tell the truth or try to rationalize why certain sexual acts don't count. Her telling you that she doesn't have sex outside of a relationship is just a shit test you have to push past. Keep escalating and destroy the shit tests. That's all there is to it.
prodigy2throw 8y ago
Man, if she didn't tell me all this I would've had NO idea. A year ago before finding TRP, I would've been straight oneitis after the first meeting. I picked up on her slutty ways right away but just the extent of it fucked my head.
Lesson here is to literally expect the absolute WORST with every woman. I understood AWALT but holy motherfucking shit man.
If she thinks I'm gonna LTR that shit she's fucked. But then again, she's probably done it before and will do it again very easily. I'm dropping all investment to the bare minimum and dread the fuck out of this.
mordanus 8y ago
That's because the default setting of most men is "Full Retard." We come with the factory setting believing that somehow women are perfect little things with no mistakes or blemishes. They don't fart or shit or say mean things. They will love us for who we are and we will sacrifice everything ,including our lives, for them. This kind of mentality is the reason that shit is so bad right now. Men are the enablers of this shitty society.
I'll be honest here. She doesn't give a shit whether you commit or not because she will just find someone else. She straight up told you she wouldn't fuck you unless she got everything out of you first. In her mind she is way above you and she is throwing you a bone. If it isn't you that becomes her new doormat to cheat on and leach off of then it will be someone else. Her lack of desire towards you should tell you everything about how she feels about you.
You nailed it here. Every single woman is a whore until proven otherwise. Always think that with every single woman. If you do that then it is impossible to pedestalize them and your frame of mind rarely gets so warped as to treat them like a queen. This frame of mind sets you apart from the other men in her life and keeps the women coming back.
The one thing that is missing here is that you should know that most women aren't as honest about this kind of thing. They instinctively know that their slutty behavior makes them less valuable in the sexual market so they lie about it. They shrink their numbers and don't count blow jobs or hand jobs or anal.
ThrowingMyslfOutther 8y ago
I don't even know if I'd STR or FWB that.
Maybe I'm delusional, but there has to be women out there that have had less sausage than a Jimmy Dean's factory.
Yangel 8y ago
Dude this type of stuff is normal in my experience. :/
prodigy2throw 8y ago
I'm beginning to realize this.
Yangel 8y ago
Sucks when they just dump it on you out of the blue.
Temuzjin 8y ago
If you meet a girl who's a whore, then at least you won't have to jump through hoops to get sex.
If you meet a girl who's a prude, then you may not get sex quickly but at least she may be good LTR material.
But this girl somehow combines the worst qualities of a whore and a prude.
prodigy2throw 8y ago
Schroedinger's hamster
Matsew 8y ago
what the fuck? 1. escalate REAL hard 2. if it doesn't work, drop that bitch.
TheNextPatriarch 8y ago
You really screwed up by asking her about sex. Sex is something to be done, not talked about. Talking about sex in a factual way with a girl is a beta move. That just makes you look like a cuckold. There's nothing wrong with some dirty talk or sexual overtone, though. I wouldnt even be surprised if she just made this story up, just to screw with your head. She probably sensed you where insecuare about sex and decided to shit-test the shit out of you. Unfortunately, you failed miserably.
You screwed up pretty badly and this girl might not be salvageable so just learn from it. Next time, dont wait that long to make a move.
prodigy2throw 8y ago
Fuck man you're right. Rookie mistake. I asked her one question, she saw the shock in my face and decided fuck it, let everything out. Horrible fail on my part.
All_the_Dank 8y ago
its okay buddy, just remember abundance mentality.
favours_of_the_moon 8y ago
Have some fun with it.
Unless you've got something more fun to do.
ToshiroOzuwara 8y ago
Turns out, you were the one who got excited. There is a lesson in that.