And I already feel like breaking. Quick back ground. At 36, I am the fucking poster boy for the blue pill. I have lived my life according to what i was told were the rules. Be a nice guy. So many women would be glad to have you.

I realise now what utter bullshit that is.

I came to the red pill after my latest unicorn/oneitis blew up again. And i NEED to change.

I'm three days in. Started No More Mr Nice Guy. Have started my monk mode. All social media shut down, video games out, and have put a plan together of things I need to do to improve myself physically, intellectually and spiritualy.

But I feel exhausted, like I'm fighting myself constantly. And today, after ignoring my oneitis for just three days, I just want to text her. Not that she would even reply, but i am dying to get scraps from her table.

I guess what I'm asking for is advice. How do you handle that transition from one state to the other? Did anyone else feel like they're fighting with their own mind?