What's up team,
I've been in an LTR with a dime for just around two years. She's wonderful, self proclaimed n-count of 2 ( sex on the first date would say otherwise, lol) , and really is a delight to be with. feminine, cooks like a champ, keeps herself healthy, and the like.
Now I'm a 6'4" dude, and with a year of TRP under my belt at the time that I met her, I had recently been on a tear of a few dozen women. During that time, I was blasting 6am gym sessions 6 days a week, carefully monitoring calorie intake, and spent that year alcohol free. What a baller right?
Well shit when my current LTR came around, that pretty much stopped within 2 months. Combined with 2 summers of a shit job and starting to dislike my major in school (Just graduated with Industrial Engineering Deg.), I began to justify my inaction and began drinking again (mostly with her), eating shit, working out less, and being less happy with myself.
Without too many more details, my LTR has been nothing but awesome. However, I'm beginning to think that her "support", "love", and sex are not worth it when I feel like garbage whilst not with her. These recessions in my self-care efforts are not her fault, however they are highly correlated with her presence in my life. This is becoming so apparent in recent weeks that I have considered ending our relationship to focus on myself.
I feel like my mind is subconsciously saying "fuck it" like some former jock who just got married and lets himself go. Is this something that happens naturally or could there be something else going on.
TLDR: I'm not the best version of myself when committed to a woman. Is this normal?
Thanks all!
900_year_old_vampire 4y ago
you're too comfortable. your discipline and your physical appearance was a big part of your sex appeal in the first place. just because you used to be attractive doesnt mean jack shit today.
just like you brush your teeth every day, you lift heavy weights every day like a normal person. take your woman out of the equation.. this is just every day stuff that you do for yourself. besides how would you like it if she got fat as fuck and stopped shaving her pussy? thats what happens when you let yourself go.. you become disgusting, which in an LTR where there is some underlying sense of mutual acceptance, is going to cause resentment, inevitable branch swinging.. taking care of yourself is part of the deal
brooklynbooked 4y ago
There's not much to say except that this is your own damn fault. You have identified what your problem(s) are. Now fix them. Simple as that.
djdkksmskxixisd 4y ago
You are becoming complacent. Maybe start going to the gym with her instead of the bar
SirKolbath 4y ago
Quit making excuses and get your lazy ass to the gym.
ArchsofArch 4y ago
I ended up having the same issue as you, probably cause when you are in a relationship the other person ends up influencing your behavior on things that don't involve reason. You do things to keep them happy, that have nothing to do with what is good for you. So, if you somehow can absolutely survive being alone, you should do that.