About me: 19, minority, pretty good looking, well groomed and good style. 5'10, 155 pounds so I'm skinny, but I'm working hard in the gym and have had lots of success with my mission so overall I'm feeling confident as well.
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First started cold approaching in the summer (probably done 50-60 total approaches since) and I’ve improved a ton as far as striking a solid conversation and getting numbers/Snapchats. I go into the approach and throw out a random opener depending on the situation. I’ll probably then make an observation or assumption about them, “eg: you have a cool accent, are you from x?” Usually spend a couple minutes chatting about bullshit, before saying something like “hey I actually have to go now, but you’re pretty cute. Do you wanna hang out sometime?”
If they’re down I grab their number/Snap. I’d say right now, I end up getting the number close 50% of the time which is a good sign. The problem is I struggle big time on actually getting anywhere.
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My first text/message is usually, “hey what’s up its” and I probably get a response 25-30% of the time and as a whole have landed just three dates.
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Obviously some girls probably find it easier to just say yeah then to say no, but there are also chicks that show lots of interest/IOIs in person and even over text but then lost interest. This week, for example, this hot Russian chick showed lots of IOIs when I approached and when I texted her that night we actually setup a time to grab ice cream, but then she flakes. Or another recent example is when I texted another chick I cold approached 10 hours later and she’s like “Finally, I’ve been waiting for you to text, you’re cute” and then just as we’re figuring out our schedules she randomly ghosts.
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It’s getting super frustrating because I’m getting all these numbers/snaps from hot chicks, but they don’t seem to lead to actual dates. Insta dates probably would help, but I’m usually approaching in a situation where I don’t have time. What am I doing wrong?
urbanfoh 5y ago
Had this problem too. What helped me was selectively approaching girls that gave me IOIs first. Saves you a lot of time and head aches. I noticed that doing so ramped my rate of success (going on a date) up tremendously. And that leads to a feedback loop of more confidence and higher rate of success.
Another point is focusing on going on a date instead of getting the number. Ask her to go on a date with you first and try to make up plans in person. Only then ask for the number as a necessity. Even better if you could go on a instant date first.
Lastly, I got the feeling that girls flake because they do not know you and because they forget about you. As soon as you are texting them you are just one of many numbers that wants to fuck them. What helps is sharing about your personality in the cold approach and leaving an individual mark. This happens automatically if you manage to stay long in the set the first time. As she gets to know you, she gets to trust you and she will less likely flake.
Good luck brother, this is not an easy game but its worth it.
teentrp2000 5y ago
Thank you bro, those were some great pointers. I definitely agree that staying longer in the set so that they actually get to know me a bit better and trying to make plans in person would be a good idea to reduce flakes.
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Selectively approaching based on IOIs might be a bit of a challenge because I'm honestly pretty oblivious of them if I'm just walking down the street. Sometimes I'll be walking with a friend and he'll be like "yo she was looking at you when we walked by" and I'll be like "oh shit where?" I could definitely see how that would be way more efficient though and so I'll keep my eye out for that.
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How has the cold approach journey been for you? How successful are you with it now?
urbanfoh 5y ago
Noticing IOIs is definitely worth it. The simplest is when she looks at you and breaks eye contact looking down. Just look at attractive girls and be attentive. You'll get a feeling for what is an IOI and what is not.
Right now I do not daygame anymore. I did that for half a year until I found my current girlfriend after a lot of dates with several women. The first few months sucked but eventually your skillset grows. And you do not need to be the best PUA in the world to go on dates with nice women.
I love daygame. If you're patient you'll never have to worry to finding new girls again. And you create an awesome frame when you enter any kind of relationship. She'll see you as courageous and able to get another girl any time you want - you'll come over as abundant.
Be patient. Your returns are not proportional to your skill level. Its more like a threshold you have to reach. Once you do that you'll get more dates than your schedule can handle. So improve even if you don't see results right now.
AscensionExperiments 5y ago
Your cold approach sounds fine. It's getting you snapchats etc, it sounds like you're failing to be interesting AFTER the cold approach
teentrp2000 5y ago
Are there any resources or just tips in general on following up after the cold approach?
AscensionExperiments 5y ago
shit, nothing in particular that I can think of, but read some of the top field reports on the main sub, that ought to do you some good
Project_Zero_Betas 5y ago
You're not good looking enough to cold approach the type of girls you're doing it do. The results speak for themselves. And you appear to be way needy in the follow-ups.
FREECRACK6 5y ago
Try getting them to follow you on instagram. If you have a cool life/pre selection going it should make things easier.