Disclaimer: I live in a very conservative country so things here are different.
Met this girl at the gym, typical attention seeking gym thot.
Ignored her first 3 months she came to my gym, then went out for a meal with a common gym friend after our workout which she joined.
Intentionally gave her vibes that im into her sexually (strong eye contact). Went out casually once again but after that i remained relatively distant for about a month while she kept asking for a date (post gym dinner) every once in a while.
Finally went out for dinner last night. It was interesting, ive never tried being this direct with a girl. She first asked if i wanna tell our common friend to join, i answered: "no i wanna go out with you alone" (while looking into her eyes). Then later on the common friend turns up at the place we were eating and when he asked why we didnt ask him to join i repeat the same answer with strong eye contact as well.
Shes showing IOIs all night so when im driving her back to her car (without our friend) i told her i wanna be direct with her and that im not looking for a friendship or relationship (again i live in a very conservative country so this is not common AT ALL) to which she answers smth like "wow youre so honest its refreshing, i am single, i do wanna have fun afterall...etc" but with hesitation. She tried to further answer my statement but i didnt let her, told her im not expecting an answer.
After we reach the destination we park for a bit and talk, i try to make a move (held her hand casually and softly pulled her while telling her come to me, she doesnt but is still all giggly) all this time telling me how im so direct and strong how i dont hide anything. Few mins later i cut things short and tell her i should be going its late and we leave.
Thanks for reading my blog, i seek honest opinions.
FREECRACK6 5y ago
Too direct, be more playful. They want to have fun. Plausible deniability. Doesn’t matter if she said you are so strong if she didn’t fuck you. Don’t take them for dinner, go for drinks instead. Don’t escalate all at once while in the car, slowly escalate through out the meeting. Keep up the eye contact though
Zakkaro 5y ago
Thanks. Guess i wanted to be serious/cold to build up sexual tension + show her im different than the rest of the guys who laugh at all her jokes all day everyday.
FREECRACK6 5y ago
There is a place/time for being cold and serious. The first date is not it. It’s all about calibration man, you don’t have to laugh at all her jokes, unless they are actually funny. Instead try teasing her because her jokes aren’t funny
Zakkaro 5y ago
What do you think the next step is?
FREECRACK6 5y ago
With the same girl? Ask her out for drinks if she is down then you still have a chance, if she makes excuses just move on
Zakkaro 5y ago
Yeah same girl, judging from your replies i think i worded this whole thing wrong making it sound like it was bad. She still asked me to invite her for drinks when i next time go with my friends (i mentioned my friends and i regularly go out earlier), she asked me for a hug when i told her lets leave.. and probably more things i forget to mention.
I showed lots of abundance and really didnt care much as i saw this whole night as a test of my frame/confidence/eye contact, i do believe i passed all her shit tests so maybe this is why me being overly cold wasnt a complete turn off for her.
boy_named_su 5y ago
Show, don't tell
Escalate with your hands, not your mouth
INNASKILLZ2K18 5y ago
I think overall, good job. You said you were testing certain things, and you did.
When you're only starting out and focusing on doing a few things, it's difficult to say 'get it ALL right, RIGHT AWAY'.
The good thing is, once you prove to yourself you can hold frame, be leading, confident etc, then you have evidence you can do that. That leads to trusting those things, then you can add other stuff.
You can be more relaxed and playful. Change up the emotions a little.
You can work on teasing, bit of push/pull, bit of light to balance the direct.
Maybe don't say what you want so early. You can do it, but I think it's better to SHOW you want her, rather than talk it. Girls often don't like that so directly, can make them uncomfortable and it can show thirst and scarcity. It's best to have more of an IDGAF vibe, and escalate through action.
She was emotionally invested, she asked you to invite her out, you cut it short not her. That may get her hamster running. Those are all good signs.
Zakkaro 5y ago
Thanks, lots of good points.
I was working on her for the future last night, wasnt really expecting immediate action (wouldve welcomed it ofc)
mrmaldoror 5y ago
lolz