So 5 day school with trip.In the last day, this chick i like for about 3 years now (long b4 i was seriously redpilled, hadn't really thought of doing anything with her for a long time, up to this point) kinda starts approaching me (the day before that me,her, my roomates and hers chilled at her room but not for long because security.) So at this point i get the message and start kinda teasing her, having some fun.Didn't really think about her for the rest of the day, i had a lot of shit planned with the homies. In the night, i just go for a walk out the rooms and out of chance see their door open, they notice me and invite me in. About 5 mins in i have my shirt off and she giving me a massage lol. Well long story short her roomates started dissapearing one after another and we are alone at like 5am. We just agree we're going to sleep , i make some low lighting, put on some of my favorite music and chill next to her on the bed.Long story short we start kissing after an hour of teasing (even though she told me numerous times this is probably a bad idea, i was kinda high and tripping btw) and we had sex at about 8am.We have a shower and she gives me full love vibes i felt like she loved me way too much for just a one night stand (its my 1st one so idk really) She asked me to kiss her, laughing all the time, rubbing my beard , hugging me, all the shit. I was trying to sleep bc i was way too tired but she wouldn't stop kissing me. We get horny and at about 10am she gives me an awesome bj even though we can hear everyone outside waking up and its way too fucking risky(don't forget everyone knows i have a gf).
The same day in the night we go back to our town and we sit together for the 3 hour bus trip. We have a jacket over our hands while we are holding hands and she has her legs over mine and shit like that. She tried to kiss me about 5 times in the bus but i didn't let her for obvious reasons.Well we are chatting and realize that we are getting back in town at like 10pm and she mentions she has an empty apartment. We go there and we have sex. Not as good as the day b4 but still very good.
Today at school i see my gf after a week.I still love her ofc however we are together for a year+ and things are starting to get kinda boring and monotonous.Problem is she literally loves me with all her heart. I am her everything and i'm afraid if she learns , it would destroy her. And also our relationship is one of the best on the school, we have no problems, full of sex, never fight etc.(Meaning i have no damn reason to break up). I have feelings for her but not that strong.
I really have no idea what to do.I really like the new girl and we have planned to meet again (she is much better than current gf i believe) however i can't just say to my gf what is going on, simple because it would literally destroy her.I think i'm gonna keep the relationship going even though it's a ticking clock from now on, it's just a matter of time before my thing with the other girl is known.
I guessed this is the only place i can get actual helpful , no bullshit advice. What you all think? Sorry for long post and shit formatting.
Btw i don't really mind if my relationship is over (i do but not that much after all this) however i couldn't stand making her so sad because of my shit.
DeGENZerate 5y ago
Stop playing defense and start playing offense. Introduce them
Anikitos940 5y ago
LMAO
thrwy75479 5y ago
The damage is already done. She'll find out eventually.
Would you rather her find out from someone else, or from you?
Anikitos940 5y ago
Well i agree dude. I have no idea how to go with this though. I was thinking maybe distance myself over some period and once she asks me why so, say because i did what i did and im too sad and shit like that. Just so she would take it so harshly.Opinion?
pridebrah 5y ago
Nah don’t do the distancing shit. Having been on the receiving end of that when I was younger it fucks with the persons head too much. Just take a deep breath and have the courtesy to tell her straight up and don’t drag it out. It’ll sting her but it’s more considerate than the drifting and her wondering why etc
thrwy75479 5y ago
Why distance yourself? Because you're sad? You're making this about you, when it's about her, which is exactly what you did when you cheated on her. You're doing the same shit again.
You're avoiding what will be a difficult conversation, and hoping someone else will tell her. Think about how dumb she would look if she finds out from someone else, after everyone else knows.
This is an important life lesson: stop avoiding. Man the fuck up, tell her ASAP, and make sure you acknowledge what a massive idiot you are.
Anikitos940 5y ago
How the fuck i go about this?
thrwy75479 5y ago
People do stupid shit, and you're young, so your reluctance is understandable.
The only reason to tell her would be to save her from the embarrassment of finding out from others.
Isolate her, admit your wrongdoing. If you apologize, understand why you're doing it. It's likely not because you banged another chick, but because you betrayed her trust. That's it.
You're not trying to salvage the relationship, so no point in saying you'll change your behaviour, or that it won't happen again.
You're probably at a stage in life where you'd rather spin plates, so do that, and don't bother with commitments.
chasethebanks 5y ago
Bite the bullet. Sit her down. Tell her to her face.
SAKEHUNTER1991 5y ago
This.
elgodo7 5y ago
just keep fucking both and be prepared to lose them both. Your young not going to marry any of the two just enjoy the girls while you can.
Irtotallynotrobot 5y ago
To each their own but I think it's important to be a man of your word. If by gf you mean you gave this girl your word of commitment then going back on that isn't right if your word is important to you. It depends what your personal moral code is, I'm not sure if being a man of your word is the best strategy so it's up to you.
I wouldn't get into detail with gf. I would just tell her that you don't want to be committed anymore but you're still down with whatever. Don't allow the conversation to stray no matter what she says after that. Straight up exit the situation if she gets crazy trying to control conversation. It sounds like you've got a solid plating opportunity here.
Bruchibre 5y ago
If you committed verbally and are a man of your word you should not cheat to begin with. So after the deed is done, everything is fair game.
anylegtypes 5y ago
What?
So if you're trying to be a moral person and say you won't steal from the store you work at once it's unattended... and then you get tempted and steal a candy bar... you're gonna think "the deed is done, everything is fair game now" and keep on doing bad shit?
Obviously if he's trying to be a man of his word he shouldn't have cheated in the first place, but that doesn't make everything else "fair game"
Bruchibre 5y ago
Never confess. If you want to date the other girl, tell your current girlfriend that you want to breakup, then go with the other girl but on the low side at the beginning.
You've made a mistake, own it. Don't go and beg for forgiveness to your gf. Deal with it on your own. If you can't take the guilt, it will teach you not to do it again.
CasaDeFranco 5y ago
Confessing is important; it reinforces that he learns to keep his word and secondly; she knows what red flags to avoid when dating chads.
Bruchibre 5y ago
You say that because you want to punish him.
Guys confess because they can't handle the guilt and want to pass the burden to the girl, not for the sake of keeping their word or whatever.
CasaDeFranco 5y ago
Would you rather know or not know? You know the answer is you would rather know.
​
Given he couldn't not cheat on her, the kindest gesture he can give her is the truth.
Bruchibre 5y ago
Of course I'd rather know, that's not the point. She would definitely also rather know. So what?
The kindest thing is to not break her heart so either he break up or not but he should keep his mistake for himself.
CasaDeFranco 5y ago
I understand your point. Him breaking her heart with the truth can be cruel. If he can't do that it's best he just end it with another lie. But to continue that relationship when his actions indicate he can't be faithful seems unwise.
​
In the end TRP is immoral, it's up to him to decide.
W_O_M_B_A_T 5y ago
New Girl sounds crazy. As in, doesn't understand the concept of "no", is extremely agressive, and the fact that someone else acts disinterested causes her to go on a big ego power trip, uses sex as a weapon, etc. I think she got a rise on the fact that she was fucking over a guy in a relationship. The fact that you were trashed at the time makes this sound even more shady.
Normal woman don't get that aggressive to guys that act disinterested in them. Yeah sure, they may start crushing and obsesses for months, but they're not going to risk overt rejection by sexually throwing themselves at him.
Keep your senses on high alert for more red flags of crazy.
If she does something bitchy or bizarre that makes your Spidey sense tingle, drop her like a hot sack of shit. Don't make excuses for not doing this.
Pros of plating crazies: the sex is excellent.
Cons: literally everything else.
Your GF is an adult and it's not your job to protect her from normal life problems like a breakup. It won't be her last. She'll have to deal with it sooner or later.
Tell your GF something like "I'm sorry this is out of the blue. We can't be together and I'm not the kind of guy you think I am. We're not compatible and I don't think there's a future for us. This isn't your fault and you shouldn't blame yourself. I accept 100% of the blame for this. I can't keep leading you on."
Don't spend a bunch of time arguing. Just leave. You'll feel like a massive asshole for a couple days, like you're a bottom feeder. Oh well. Better to rip a bandaid off fast than to do it slowly.
Don't mention the cheating at all. That's 100% not her problem. Maybe she'll find out later, maybe she won't.
Anikitos940 5y ago
The break up part is what i will probably do. About the new girl she wasn't freaky at all, she was asking if this wasn't ok (by me) but i pretty much ensured her that since we already kissed sex wouldn't make any difference. She is pretty cool so far, keeping everything discreet, she hasn't even told her friend. Only red flag is she told me she doesn't like serious relationships and i'm pretty sure she has done similar shit in the past. Overall for me she's a pretty good deal. Thanks for some quality feedback dude.
alpha-zach 5y ago
You’re delusional dude. She’s nuts.
But def go the break up route. You should promise exclusivity, break it and go back.
Whisper Moderator 5y ago
I don't understand what the problem is.
Metalgear222 5y ago
Beat me to it.
warburgio 5y ago
If ure a cold motha focka- keep being in the ltr and have a side gig. If ure lucky itl be some time before the tr will get told by someone from the trip. Plan ure exit strategy and game other woman. The side chick sounds crazy- watch out, wrap it, take used condoms with you, keep all the messages.
Productivity10 5y ago
I like this advice
jerrymcguiver 5y ago
Have a threesome.
Be the prize worthy of being shared.
GoldenshadowRic 5y ago
You have already done the deed friend. It's too late now to change it. Question is how do you want to be known? You have to realise that other people know or at the least suspect and I can guarantee that the other girl has told friends. You're going to have to sit down and tell your soon to be ex gf the truth. Action have consequences, face yours now or it will only get worse.
THEDIKDEALER 5y ago
Sir what I believe is you have reached what I call the red fork in the road . Now you can simply take one of two paths grasshopper. One you can continue to hang both girls and be a playboy with red ray bans. Or two you can be a blue pill beta and let your gf know you cheated. I personally would do the first option. As the saying goes “when you are loving somebody they are loving someone else”
bottled_butts 5y ago
People here are forgetting social status and reputation. Only if you look like Zyzz(RIP) will girls overlook you cheating.
Is your gf friends with a lot of other girls in your social setting? If so then you're fucked. If not then then you will probably get away unscathed.
Break up with you're gf and go on your way.
fungusfeater 5y ago
Best you can hope for is the break up goes smoothly and she finds out later, when she's stopped caring. Don't worry too much though if you're young, you're meant to have as much fun and experience as you can. Regardless of morality.