So I can’t get a girl for shit, I get treated like shit or ignored on Tinder and any dating apps, same for Instagram, Snapchat. I tried approaching some girls irl but results were inexistant, have a few dates but lead to being ghosted. The only 2 girls that wanted to date me or fuck seriously had very low smv, they were 3 or 4 so I ignored them. That being said, I’m very happy in general and I feel like I don’t even need a girl or sex in my life so I’m not working too hard on myself. What I’m wondering is if lifting and looking fit is worth the effort, will girl noticeably treat me better or will it be mostly the same, I want the honest truth even if it bad. My looks are average, not ugly but average gets you nowhere with most girls as you guys probably know, I’m not fit and a little chubby (180lb 5"9) so lifting could help me improve my face and body. But I realized that sometimes I talk to girl online without even sending a pic and I get ignored so I feel like even lifting and slightly improving my looks will be useless. Any guy here started lifting and can tell me the differences he noticed in how girl treat him, do girls give you a better treatment if you lift?
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mallardcove 5y ago
Assuming you aren't a troll, women have evolved over time to be able to use visual cues when they observe men to know whether or not they are high value.
Because back in the caveman days, a man who had a chiseled physique, muscles and low body fat often indicated he was productive. While a fat man with a soft physique indicated he was lazy and unproductive. Because in cave man days, a man's value was based on whether or not he could go out and kill things, whether it be animals for food or enemy tribes who wanted to raid and take over the village. A soft out of shape fat man was at a major disadvantage when it came to killing things
Cues like a visible, chiseled jawline, six pack abs, muscular physique, high shoulders to waist ratio and flat stomach are part of what allow a woman to subconciously view a man as higher value and this is biology.
Go ahead and think that you can still bag women with a soft physique, double chin, belly over hang and lack of visible jawline, but you are putting a hard ceiling on the types of women you can get.
Lifting and dieting are what allow you to have the ideal body which opens the door to higher value women
embracingtheredpill 5y ago
That's fine, but it's also worth noting that in many cultures of the world being fat is seen as a status symbol of power and wealth, as this person had the ability to grow fat, especially in older men. It's a different sexual strategy, one based on wealth, so that's BB, but also signals you as a powerful member of society, the traditional understanding of Alpha, not the sexual kind.
Vikingcel 5y ago
Wouldn't being chubby in the caveman days signal that you're such a good hunter that food is abundant?
Being low bf is typically non-european. If you were very lean, you would struggle in the colder climates of northern europe. Even now, a ton of scandinavians are vit. D deficient. We store excess vit. D in fat. You would go low T soyboy in winter.
Just playing the devils advocate.
Throwaway-242424 5y ago
A caveman with lots of food would look like a rugby front-rower, not like some skinnyfat accountant.
--23--- 5y ago
Cavemen were fat adapted carnivores. It’s unlikely any of them were fat.
mallardcove 5y ago
No, being fat only signaled you were good at consuming things.
Women's attraction cues are based on "Can this man kill things and protect the tribe from threats?" That's how a woman's brain works. Being fat likely means you can't kill things or outrun things that can kill you.
Scorchyy 5y ago
That's very simplistic though, women are attracted to handsome guys even though being pretty wouldn't make you better at killing things.
Scorchyy 5y ago
But we don’t live in caveman days, women evolved...
Jk ????????
But yeah, that totally makes sense. We too as men have evolved to be attracted to women who have cues of fertility like silk hair, big breasts, etc. I know I need to start it but it’s hard and I’m concerned that all the efforts I put in there won’t get me enough results, having a great physique could help me me get the girls attention but everything after, how to act during dates etc could make me loose her anyway.
I know it sound like I’m making excuses but I’m just in a mood lately where I don’t want to deal with girl anymore for now, I’m happy being single so going out to lift 3 days a week to get some pussy eventually isn’t very enticing. I’d rather do it for my health at this point.
mallardcove 5y ago
Might as well start now. Changes in the weight room are noticable, but take time. Too many guys think that being in the gym for 3 weeks means they will be ripped and muscular right away. Not only does building an ideal physique take time, but a lot of progress in the gym is made via trial and error. Finding out what works, what doesn't, and such. It could be a while before you hit your stride and find the sweet spot in the gym. I still find new ways of doing things to this day and have to stop bad habits to this day.
You sound like a fat fuck who posted this lifting question hoping people would tell you no so you could justify continuing to be a fat non lifting fuck. "But TRP told me lifting wasn't important!"
Scorchyy 5y ago
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, kiddo.
Project_Zero_Betas 5y ago
Yes. Going from out of shape to in shape signals you're aware that you need to improve and are willing to take the initiative, and women like that. Unless you're REALLY good looking, don't bother with dating apps, as you can't send body language signals over the internet that women are keen on picking up IRL (Talking from experience here). Spend a couple months seriously getting in shape and then try approaching women at bars or parties (or wait for them to send you IOIs at other places). Don't waste time with dating apps if you admit you're just average looking.
Scorchyy 5y ago
Yeah, I knew that, I uninstalled and stopped all dating apps a many months ago, these apps are only worth using if you’re a top 10% hot guys or a girl. I’ll probably do that, I never go to bar or parties though, only the most attractive guys can pull a girl there so it’s no different than Tinder really but noticing IOIs seems to be the best approach. It clearly beats cold approach or Tinder
Project_Zero_Betas 5y ago
IRL situations are different because, as I said, girls can pick up on body language cues much easier (i.e. confidence in making eye contact) than online. But yeah, work out with dedication for a few months and then just be aware of when they're sending IOIs, it'll happen.
redhawkes 2 5y ago
Lift and see for yourself lazy fuck. Tell me how being a fat fuck is helping you in any way? You don't need motivation, you need discipline. If you came here to seek validation to be couch potato, wrong sub.
Also, you need to learn game. Fuck the retarded incels who think that being demigod will make the bitches fall on your dick. It won't if you're autist.
You know the jacked up guys at the club standing like pillars? That's what Im talking about. Mix that with game, and you'll get results.
theherosmyth 5y ago
I have done the reverse. I went from getting looks regularly to not getting noticed at all, as I gained more and more weight (in fat). I am currently cutting back down again.
I think you should try the gym, but commit to doing it at least 8 weeks and determine if you feel any better about yourself etc. That’s the real prize. Getting healthier, feeling better, sharper, and feeling a sense of accomplishment. Saying you might be able to muster up the willpower if it gets you more female attention is a pretty weak reason. Just my opinion tho.
Scorchyy 5y ago
The healthier sides of it are very enticing but it still take a lot of work, how many times a week do you have to train to get results?
embracingtheredpill 5y ago
Try it and see.
Scottyn7 5y ago
Yes. End of
Scorchyy 5y ago
I’m looking for someone to share his experience, not a binary answer
Store_Front_Door 5y ago
Read the sidebar you lazy fuck
Scorchyy 5y ago
Why so rude? You can see a therapist if you have issues you need to deal with
astralreflection 5y ago
Ur fckin lazy as shit mate
Scottyn7 5y ago
Okay here’s experience:
Lift > chisel out down to <13% BF or just get bigger and wider. girls will respect the dedication, posture, and how you carry yourself.
Your face becomes more defined, you get more confident. Talking to girls becomes easy once you are cheeky/flirty and smile it doesn’t really matter what you say... just that you say it with an undertone of flirty vibe.
Get good at talking to girls by practicing on talking to ones you feel comfortable around. And be kind of a dick... act like you’re too good for them... it works.
Scorchyy 5y ago
Which one is more important though, lifting or getting good at talking to girl? I feel like unless you’re very fit it will be hard for girls to notice it while you’re wearing normal clothes... I find it hard to believe a few pounds less and more muscle can make girl notice you and treat you decently, you’re still the same guy
Scottyn7 5y ago
Nah. Girls are superficial. They wanna get to know you but in the first 10 seconds and approach game is all meta-physical. Before you open your mouth they’ve already decided if they are gonna allow you or not.
You’ll be surprised, if you dedicate time to the gym, lift and get in good shape, not just a few pounds less I mean really take time to be in good shape, you’ll see things change... as a result of lifting your self confidence will improve and then you’ll get good at chatting.
Just trust me. Lift heavy things 4-5 times a week for 45 mins and do cardio 1-2 times a week.
Scorchyy 5y ago
You’re right, improving my looks by lifting is the easiest thing compared to improving my status or money. But how do you find the motivation to go to the gym regularly, you say lift heavy things so couldn’t you do that from home if you had weights? I already manage to do cardio at home with an app and exercises but I haven’t done any lifting yet.
Scottyn7 5y ago
Motivation? Easy... angry at all the times you got rejected or dejected or dissed or overlooked...
Hungry for a girl you like.
Once you start to see your veins pop it gets addictive, the pump and the pain. The days you don’t wanna go and still go are the ones you feel best after.
Motivation can come from anywhere, you just gotta find yours.
Scorchyy 5y ago
Being rejected just made me stop caring and ignore girls and look for happiness within myself. It didn’t made me want to start lifting tbh, but I agree it’s a good thing to do