I am a 21 year old college student who has never been in a relationship with a girl. I decided to create a bumble account and I am looking for advice on how to make a attractive profile. I want to be honest about my interests (video games, soccer, anime, and lifting) but I am afraid that they will make me seem even more unattractive. I am an introvert and enjoy spending my time at home so I already have very little to work with and the fact that almost any girl I match with will have more experience than me is intimidating. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
Someone in a thread I posted earlier said I was misusing “introvert” so to clarify I meant that I spend a lot of time hanging out at home alone or with my roommate and generally avoid going out because of a lack of self confidence. I am trying to get over this but it’s difficult to put my self out there all by myself so I figured online dating might help.
thrwy75479 5y ago
You don't pickup girls by telling them about your anime body pillow. When you're looking to bang girls, you want to appear sexy.
It's the same with women. They don't show up to a first date with lip and arm hair, and no makeup.
If you happen to like a girl, and she likes you, and you decide to give her more commitment, then you can slowly reveal your not-so-sexy interests in subtle ways.
At that point, she's attracted and there's some attachment, and she'll see that there's more to your personality. She may make fun of you for it, and if you pass that shit test, she'll see you as a cool guy who doesn't seek other people's approval.
grandorder123 5y ago
Thank you for the reply. This seems like great advice. I am mainly worried about misleading a girl into thinking I’m someone I’m not only to disappoint her later. I understand now that I should focus on highlighting my attractive qualities (if there are any) and waiting until there is a connection to reveal my less attractive qualities.
thrwy75479 5y ago
You're not misleading, and it depends on context. If you're walking by a comic book store, and she happens to ask, "Do you like anime?", you tell her, "Yea, some of the artwork is incredible, and it all started in Japan way back in 500 BC", etc. You don't say, "YEA! I have a pocket pussy designed based on my waifu's exact specifications! Check it out, I brought it with me!"
That's something you share if you have a more intimate connection with the girl. She may be into it or she may not, or she may need some convincing, who knows.
There are 3 points here: 1) you calibrate how and how much you reveal, which you determine by first finding out what the girl is like; 2) you didn't hide anything by denying you like anime, and 3) she would weigh your interests along with your more redeeming qualities after she's more invested in you and perhaps after you've got her interested in it as well.
Note that the weirder your interest, the higher your value would have to be in other areas relative to her for her to keep seeing you. In other words, you're not going to get someone like Adrianna Lima while maintaining a sex doll collection. Could she be okay with it? There's always a possibility but the odds are very low mostly because if society thinks it's weird, then, for practical purposes, it's weird.
Having an interest and being passionate about it is not unattractive. If you can't see it as a good thing, you cannot expect others to either. Be proud of it, and at the same time, don't expect others to love it as much as you do.
There are caveats of course. If your anime hobby has gone so far that it's taken over your personal life, you've quit work, and you're living in your parents' basement, then it's safe to say, that it's no longer a hobby but an addiction and is detrimental to your life. This is when seeing a therapist would be priority one, and women wouldn't even be on the radar.
grandorder123 5y ago
Thank you for the detailed response I really appreciate it. Luckily my anime interest only goes as far as watching a couple episodes here and there. I understand now that I need to present myself how I want to be seen without lying about my interests. I’m saving this comment for the future.
mallardcove 5y ago
Video games and anime are going to be losers in terms of attractive women. You're going to turn a lot of women off and only attract the weird pink haired SJW types who will be into that shit
rus9384 5y ago
Saw some very attractive girls who like video games and anime. They dressed cool and watched their figures. Actually, don't forget hedonism rule.
But yeah, mentioning personal preferences is going to reduce the pool. Unless you make look yourself like a talented guy.
Project_Zero_Betas 5y ago
Absolutely.
grandorder123 5y ago
Yeah I understand that is the case. I won’t advertise it in my profile. However I don’t think it’s my place to have very high standards when it comes to meeting girls.
mallardcove 5y ago
Why?
grandorder123 5y ago
I have zero experience when it comes to girls and I lack attractiveness in terms of looks/interests (at least my mom says I’m handsome) so I think I will have little success if my standards are too high.
Atheist_Utopia 5y ago
Maybe, but a self-defeatist attitude will not help your success.
Terdmuffin 5y ago
6'3"
I like the finer things in life like tacos, pizza, taco pizza....
Boxed wine connoisseur
I cook better than you
Tell me your best dad joke
Thats my bumble profile. It doesn't say anything about who I am, what I do (my occupation is listed as astronaut), what I like, etc. Is it the best profile ever? No but it does the job.
vullnet123 5y ago
It's weird, but I think when I keep my bio short and simple I have less problems. Mine is just "6'4" Green eyes" because anytime I put more effort into my bio I never get anything from it(Shitty pics don't help). I've only had 1 chick actually message me about my bio on Tinder(I had put a line about having a nicer ass) and she was a 3 at best and sent me an ass pic on snapchat lol.
HurricaneHugues 5y ago
Aside from your height, I've seen women write pretty much the exact same shit on their profiles,
Terdmuffin 5y ago
Yep pretty much. Online dating is pretty superficial.
grandorder123 5y ago
Thanks for sharing. To me that seems like a great profile, it is concise and humorous. I will take that into mind while writing my profile. Do you think I should include my height in my profile even though it’s included when building the profile?
Terdmuffin 5y ago
If youre over 6' then probably. Pictures are really important too. Most of your pictures should be not taken by you. If you're jacked and want to do a shirtless pic it should be outside doing an activity.
hazelstein 5y ago
hehe Im over 6' probably 6'1 self measured :3
Thunderfin 5y ago
Lol you're that type of guy
Terdmuffin 5y ago
Yep
hazelstein 5y ago
man I need that height LOL
AstuteBlackMan 5y ago
Dont introduce your anime passions early on.
TRP8myfeels 5y ago
It doesn't have so much to do with how social you are. I've hardly socialized or went out my entire life. I am however very close with everyone I work with, everyone I've ever by chance gotten to know.
I guess it has a lot to do with how you will handle a relationship. Probably have a lot more to do with you only giving the women that do bite enough attention, not too much attention.
bigboxguy 5y ago
Online dating is all about attractiveness. Girls can give fuck all about your hobbies.
My advice is if you don't want to intimidated and get more experience stop wasting your time with that garbage anime shit. Your other hobbies are fine but anime is cancer. No offense the only people I know who watch it are total losers. It fucks with your brain too.
HurricaneHugues 5y ago
All sorts of people watch anime dude. Terron Beckham and Michael B Jordan watch anime, Terry Crews plays video games. They're more successful and have more pull than you. Nothing wrong with a particular hobby. The problem is when that hobby takes over your life and leads to the neglect of other aspects of your life
bigboxguy 5y ago
I do to occasionally. Only anime is cancer.
So.... Why does this matter? Is this just another way to insult me? Why do people on this sub always do this? Who cares if they're famous. I don't look to subpar actors and washed up athletes as people to look up to.
The only people I know who watch anime are weird losers. I don't know anyone normal who does.
HurricaneHugues 5y ago
You're nowhere near as wealthy or accomplished as they are. The point is if they can do it and be this successful, it's not a big deal.
bigboxguy 5y ago
How do you know if I'm as wealthy or accomplished as they are? How do you know my dad is not more successful net worth wise than them which I will inherit?
Just because you listed two actors and a washed up athlete who's only famous because of his cousin doesn't make it a big deal. Three people doesn't mean anything.
OP is welcome to watch anime, but whatever negative reaction he gets from it is his problem.
HurricaneHugues 5y ago
Blah blah blah "my dad can probably beat them up" blah blah blah.
bigboxguy 5y ago
Funny that you say that he probably could. He also used to be an amateur boxer, ran and boxing promotion business and trained with pros. I can send you some articles in the LA Times of him and his companies if you'd like.
But keep jacking off celebrities who don't give a shit about you.
HurricaneHugues 5y ago
Didn't read
bigboxguy 5y ago
And you keep responding. Someone insulting anime must have hurt your feelings.
HurricaneHugues 5y ago
Youre the one insulting anime
Project_Zero_Betas 5y ago
You're bordering on self-awareness here. Maybe you should drop some of those interests? Just an idea.
rpMadler 5y ago
If OP likes them, he shouldn't drop them. What he should do is give careful thought to how he presents them. Be an athlete who likes some nerdy things rather than a nerd who lifts. Tennessee's men's basketball team plays Settlers of Catan on their road trips and Duke's star player likes anime. It's fine to let people see a little of that side of you, just make sure it's balanced against other things.
Also, unless you're doing competitions, I wouldn't share lifting as an interest. Girls don't want to see or know about the work that goes in, they just want you to deliver the results. Don't talk about it (aside from something basic like "I'm going to the gym"), just do it.
Project_Zero_Betas 5y ago
Women aren't attracted to guys whose major interests are anime and video games. Indicates a level of childishness. If OP still wants to keep them as hobbies, fine, but don't go out of your way to let girls know they occupy a majority of your free time.
MrAgamemnon 5y ago
Those things (anime & games) are unproductive and add nothing positive to anyone's life except complacency and detaches them from the real world while providing a dopamine hit.
Some people like to jerk off 12 times a day and they like it. Maybe they shouldn't give that up either?
HurricaneHugues 5y ago
Those things are becoming normal now.
grandorder123 5y ago
Thanks for the advice. I am interested in improving myself but it would be difficult for me to drop these interests as the few friendships I have were made through video games. Anime is more of a guilty pleasure that I keep secret. I wouldn’t mind trying to find new interests but it’s difficult for me to do alone albeit necessary if I want to enter a relationship.
Project_Zero_Betas 5y ago
So don't list them on your dating profile. Problem solved.
[deleted] 5y ago
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grandorder123 5y ago
Thank you so much. I hope to work towards becoming more confident in myself. I will watch the video when I get home from the gym.
Thunderfin 5y ago
Just be good looking. Complete loner, have photos of me only and get lots of matches
Online dating depends solely on looks, assuming you don't have a high SMV through other means
embracingtheredpill 5y ago
Bumble will not add value to your life at this stage. It's a band aid to heal the pain of your other lack of success. This road is filled with frustration.
You don't need 'dating app tips'. You need to be in control of your life, forget about women and work on yourself for a bit so that you're not in your own eyes a video game playing loner. No one will like you if you don't like yourself.
INNASKILLZ2K18 5y ago
Have you read the sidebar? It doesn't sound like you have, or you'd be taking a different approach. Your frame is terrible. You're self-deprecating and worried far too much what a woman will think of you. You're already giving them more value than yourself.
Give it a try, to get some real world evidence. Then read the sidebar and recommended reading.
HurricaneHugues 5y ago
Leave your interests out of your profile dude. Youre not applying forna job, stop all the formalities. Dont take online dating seriously, and don't take any of the girls on there seriously. Theyre not LTR material anyway.
PM me, I'll help u set up a profile to fuck
Whisper Moderator 5y ago
You're not an introvert, you're a loser.
Introverts don't like noisy environments, prefer one-on-one interactions to large groups, and like having lots of time by themselves.
You are just afraid of the embarrassment you feel when you talk to strangers.
You will never unfuck yourself until you stop looking for the easy way out and do what you need to do.
resnine 5y ago
Introversion is just how one charges his/her batteries it has nothing to do with social skills. However, it would make sense that those with an extroverted brain would naturally see social situations as a positive thing. But too many introverts use their introversion as a copout to not put work into improving their social skills and stop being a loser.
grandorder123 5y ago
I agree. Sadly it’s easier said than done.
ExistentialEnnuii 5y ago
Just like with everything, we are our habits. up until this point your habit has been being a loner. Start small, day by day change the way you go about things. Talk to everyone. At first it’ll feel ‘like its not you’ but keep going at it. We all have a starting point. Now that your aware of the importance of being social, YOU know what you have to do. It wont be easy and that’s why not everyone gets to reproduce. GL.
grandorder123 5y ago
Thank you for helping me out.
MOSFETBJT 5y ago
If you read the side bar, you'll know one of the main rules is to game girls irl.