I've been posting questions about this here for the past 3 months. You may check my post history with questions about insecurities, cheating, hypergamy etc.
My LTR of 2.5 years, let's call her Kate, cheated on me with this guy from college, let's call him Shane.
Shane was my friend. Kate knew Shane through me. About 3-4 months ago I started seeing a pattern, both of them were coming to college together, going together, caught her chatting with him on WhatsApp a couple of times.
Shane had become her beta orbiter. And she was showing signs of attraction to him. I enforced my boundaries and started giving her less attention, didn't reply to her texts at times. I knew internally that something fishy was going on.
She told me a week ago, "If you ever think there is something between me and Shane, keep in mind that there is nothing and you're just insecure"
Had another argument about 5 days back with her as I caught her chatting with him when we were having lunch(in college). She basically said to my face "CAN'T I HAVE GUY FRIENDS OTHER THAN YOU?! YOU ARE SO REGRESSIVE AND PATRIARCHAL" and left.
We weren't talking since this^ (she didn't reach out cause she already had Shane giving her validation)
Yesterday another good friend of mine(let's call him Vivian) saw them together in a mall, having lunch together. They bunked lectures and went on a date.
I think they both saw Vivian there and probably feared that he would tell me about this. So Kate called me today and told me that she and Shane went on a date.
I never thought this could happen. I mean they were getting close and she was pulling away from me, but she literally went out with him 3 days after our argument. Idk whether or not there was intimacy after the date.
This isn't even hypergamous. Shane is below me in SMV. Idk what she saw in him.
So basically Shane violated the bro code. And about Kate, well hypergamy(?) doesn't care.
I know, I just have to keep improving myself, lift and game other women. Abundance mentality.
But just the fact that I will see these guys together on campus everyday for the next 18 months is what will reopen the wound and hurt me.
I feel like shit. Fuck.
Zoddo 5y ago
Be grateful it ended as early as it did. Some guys waste decades before the guillotine drops.
HurricaneHugues 5y ago
So you've been coming with this beta nonsense to AskTRP for 3 months now. You didn't take advice then. Now look at you.
[deleted]
TheBunk_TB 5y ago
Is Vivian available?
drsherbert 5y ago
Shane could at the very least use a slap to the mouth for posing as a friend and fucking your old lady. Fuck the girl. Bro code violations should come with some form of repercussion.
pridebrah 5y ago
I agree, but sadly the law exists so we can't beat their ass. However, the next best thing is that these dudes always get burned by the chick they got with. Shane will be miserable one way or another.
Kommanderdude 5y ago
Lol. You need to learn how to run a bitch.
You drove her straight into his arms by acting butt hurt and having arguments about him. You made the impression In her mind that he is above you in status and smv because you felt threatened by him.
Again this is why you shouldn’t try to ltr below the age of 30.
Read the side bar
ashotofmidoriperhapz 5y ago
Does anyone here actually believe in a so called 'bro code'? I'm 26 but have seen my fair share of thirsty dudes violate the bro code just look 'better' than you in front of a girl and to an extent fight you over them, we've seen this so many times.
My opinion I don't believe there is one, I think it's a term guys use to guilt there mates to not go after their 'crush' or I 'saw her first' and all that bullshit and if you break it they get to bitch about you. Some guys these days are such faggots.
Ok, bye.
DiggerClam 5y ago
Dodged a bullet bro - she's a hoe.
thatbadrogue2 5y ago
what you didn't write anywhere in this post is, "I broke up with her." You complained, you whined, you were confused, you had an epiphany, ...but you didn't resolve the issue. Shane's not a bro, there's no such thing as a bro-code. He macked your woman and you're upset because a "low SMV beta orbiter" swooped you. You should play plates, and friends with benefits for awhile - relationships are very hard for very little reward, and only for those people willing to compromise. The only positive about them if you're not looking for marriage is sex on demand. You'll learn a lot about women by playing safe and casual. You'll learn a LOT about women if you end up befriending a sexually outgoing woman. Those bitches tell you things you would've never even thought went through a fragile little flower-like mind.
Thunderfin 5y ago
What is your question?
Your post should be removed and you should be banned.
slaterhuckle 5y ago
Now you just need to fuck a girl thats way hotter than her and then be seen together in public, that will show everyone
UnluckyPenguin 5y ago
Many years ago I introduced a major beta loser to my girlfriend. He was blowing his money like a fool on her (dude only made 12$/hr) and he had a lisp.
She liked it and ended up leaving me for him. Took me a little while to realize her leaving was a miracle I should be grateful for. After that my life became tremendously better.
Now over a decade later I honestly wish I could hug her out of pity. After that guy moved in with her parents while she was at college, they got married. Had 2 kids and both mentally challenged.
My point is that I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy, much less a horny friend and ex girlfriend. So just stay calm even when life throws you curve balls, because none of the things you worry about now will matter in 10 years. Except always lift.
_Anarchon_ 5y ago
Shane deserves an ass-whoopin. Normally that's not the case, but you said this guy was your friend. You shouldn't let that stand.
HastaPronto90 5y ago
It will hurt this guy aswell, to see you and knowing that you fucked his gf. Keep going bro!
For research purposes, what was her notch count before you went in a LTR with her?
l0gicbomb 5y ago
One. The reason I deemed her fit for an LTR was she had just one BF before she joined college and that was a 4 month long juvenile relationship she had when she was 15 y/o.
I think slut mode was activated after 1 year of being in college.
_Anarchon_ 5y ago
No, not if you want a relationship with me. Btw, thanks for the compliment.
beachbbqlover 5y ago
> Shane had become her beta orbiter.
If she's fucking him, you seem to be very confused.
> "CAN'T I HAVE GUY FRIENDS OTHER THAN YOU?! YOU ARE SO REGRESSIVE AND PATRIARCHAL"
She's using feminist terminology, but look more closely. She's arguing with you while fully aware you want control. She's decided to refuse. That means she's perfectly willing to lose you.
> I never thought this could happen.
You're ignorant, aren't you?
This literally happens to over 50% of relationships, and you thought you were so fucking special it wouldn't happen to you?
She's gone. 100% delete her from your phone, stop stalking her, and focus inward.
Okay, so clearly you're ignorant, and posturing to try to save face to random strangers on the internet.
Here's what I've got for you:
Let go. You failed. Get up. Try again. We all do. She probably did. So will the next one. And it's okay. Just let go, and enjoy the time with the other bald monkeys on a wet rock in space. Play nice.
​
mrheh 5y ago
Rule #1 Never trust any fucking guy with your woman, period. They will fuck them without the slightest hesitation.
omega_dawg93 5y ago
YOU might have a bro code, and your buddy might have a bro code, but eager, easy pussy dissolves the bro code in about 3 seconds. women give zero fucks about the bro code.
the only bro code i use is the following: "i will NEVER get mad, angry, upset, or jealous at another man for TAKING what is being freely, willingly, and eagerly GIVEN to him from a woman."
if she's bringing him the pussy, she wants him to enjoy it.
​
fuck up #1: you're rating men in SMV. that's not your job. you will NEVER be able to tell what women find attractive in a man. most times, WOMEN don't know why they find certain guys attractive.
fuck up #2: if you had a true abundance mentality, you'd have multiple plates lined-up. you do have oneitis.
instead of worrying about seeing them together, you should be prepared to smile when they see you with this girl, that girl, those girls, etc.
move on. and stop crying. your buddy did you a favor; she isn't worth any of your energy.
​
Zanford 5y ago
You were dating someone who had drank Kool-Aid of quasi-religious ideaological justification for (female and female only) cheating. It was only a matter of time before she whored it up. Just be glad you found out now.
Think of it as all the more reason to get back out there. Snag someone hotter and she WILL hear about it.
2.5 of your 4 years of COLLEGE is way too much for one chick. She did you a favor, now you have more college left to get around than you otherwise would've.
btw if you're wondering why she wnt for the 'lower SMV' guy...as soon you as you showed you would tolerate her flirting with Shane, your SMV plummeted in her eyes. Basically you failed the early shit tests, then paid the price.
The best thing you can do for your SMV now is be the one who walks away. Now that Vivian and who knows else knows about this, if you stay, you will get a reputation as a cuckold little biotch.
You are young, you have tons of time to date, you learned a valuable lesson early and with little blowback (you don't live together or have kids etc.) "Go approach a bunch of other chicks and when you get laid you'll forget her" is the cliche advice....but guess what, it's cliche for a good reason.
Here's another way to look at it...after 2.5 years she's probably sucked and fucked you a three-digit number of times, maybe four (100 would be less than once a week, which would be pretty tepid for that age; 1000 would be a little over one a day)....what were you really gonna get from that 1001st blowjob from Kate that you didn't get out of the first 1000?
pridebrah 5y ago
How would you suggest handling that without mateguarding? Just walking away off the bat?
keelo44 5y ago
I think your underestimating Shane and/or overestimating yourself.
LeGone_James 5y ago
Lmao buddy boy it doesn’t matter if your the best option available. Get that through your head
Glennus626 5y ago
I read your story, but then got caught up on your Male friend named vivian. "What could his autocorrect have meant", I thought to myself. There it was again. Surely he'd have noticed two typos?
You're caught up in her frame and playing right in to her validation trap. Did they fuck? Maybe, maybe not. Girls rarely fuck beta orbiters they deem to be lower in smv. I would have more of a problem with my friend not observing bro code than I would have with some college bimbo attempting to fulfill a cock carousel.
fartingaround 5y ago
Brocode lol smh
TopOccasion29 5y ago
The brocode is a myth in College and even after that.
Most men don't follow that.
fartingaround 5y ago
Im pretty sure the brocode was invented by someone who was fuckin his friends ex to cover his tracks lol
NoFaithInThisSub 5y ago
And violated that ho code. but ho's ain't got no code bro.
rpthrowaway1104 5y ago
You'll forget about the whole ordeal within a year, and by midway it will barely sting, but it's cool to feel frustrated, shitty, and shitty as you essentially go through withdrawal - complete with many intense emotions. A lot of people will say to look up meditation and go hard on lifting and stuff... All valid suggestions. However, it's fine to just mope and chill hard for a week or three. Eventually, you will get sick of feeling down on yourself and that will be the moment to delve into a new trajectory. That way, the desire to get your shit together to self will be a result of a natural, masculine catalyst, rather than the immediate need for a coping mechanism. Cheers bro
walawalawa 5y ago
The best reaction to this is NO REACTION.
They're both dead to you, invisible. Ignore, avoid, ghost.
This will be hard at first but consider it like kicking an addiction.
I made the mistake of chasing my ex who did something similar. Then one day I asked her out and she made up some excuse. I ghosted her.
That was 4 years ago. I only started speaking to her in social situations this past month and it was because 1. I no longer give a shit 2. She made the effort to come out when I was djing and I figure myeh, throw her a cookie.
4 years no contact. Let that sink in.
cafeitalia 5y ago
Looks like in her eyes Shane has much higher smv than you. Move on and don't think about it. Life happens.
red_matrix 5y ago
She’s not yours, it’s just your turn. The glass is already broken.
mortalcoil1 5y ago
I am going to respond to this from an older, more LTR focused perspective.
First off, in college, don't LTR. It's college my dude. You and her have been figuratively starving (high school/ living with parents) for years, and you both just went to the best buffet of your lives, and both of you are expecting that you will only eat one item?
Anyway. Many of us will get older and get past highschool/college and enter the adult world. In this world, sometimes you need an LTR. That is the reality of the world you l live in.
So if you had wanted to keep your LTR, which I don't recommend in college, this is where you went wrong.
"I enforced my boundaries and started giving her less attention, didn't reply to her texts at times. I knew internally that something fishy was going on."
Why does a female have beta orbiters? Attention and validation. She felt you were not giving her enough and she found it in a beta orbiter. So what do you do? Give her even less attention and validation. You pushed her towards exactly what she was craving.
You also mate guarded hard. If your SMV is higher than "Shane," then you don't mate guard. You pushed her right to him.
Giving your LTR attention and validation does not make you a bitch. It makes you in an LTR. You were treating your LTR like a plate. If you want a plate, then get a plate. If you want an LTR, then you have to treat her like an LTR.
Angelrun 5y ago
Heads up: Your boy is not your boy.
buttgoogler 5y ago
Fuck both Shane and Kate, who the fuck needs a shitty betrayer bro and a cheating thot anyway. Get better, not bitter.
Remove them from your life and stay active.
pinaplejoose 5y ago
If you dont like the relationship then leave it. Frankly I wouldnt even call this cheating but she definitely did disrespect you in the relationship, which is just as bad in a way. If you wanna get to her I'd start hanging with some new girls on campus.
RedHoodhandles 5y ago
Erase both from your life. Also, what Auvergnat said.
AceMav21 5y ago
Go fuck a freshman
northernCAgrown 5y ago
*10 freshmen
InsidiousCurve 5y ago
How long did they know each other before they started spending all their time together?
l0gicbomb 5y ago
They "knew" each other for well over a year now. They became "friends" about 5 months ago, implying they would come to college together, chat on WhatsApp, go home together, exchange books and watch the same TV shows and shit.
KettleLogic 5y ago
I will say if you treat someone as if they have done something they'll do something. I think you went about it the wrong way by treating her like a cheater when she hadn't cheated yet (probably).
You should of had an abundance mentality where as it seems like you mate guarded. It sucks man but you are young, you have plenty of time to find a better girl than Kate.
forsaken_in_the_dark 5y ago
Why is it going to hurt you? Or is that your ego that will be inflicting the pain on you?
Focus on yourself and your mission and drop the ego as well as this girl.
mleko69 5y ago
I haven't seen a red flag this big, lol IMHO this is when shit was over.
Metalgear222 5y ago
This is more common than you think. Go radio silent and she will be back in less than 2 months. When she comes back, plate status only.
HurricaneHugues 5y ago
When she comes back, he ignores and keeps it pushing.
TheTastelessBatman 5y ago
Bro, stop LTRs. Smash and dash. Keep multiple plates spinning. Only give your love to your work, or hobby, or animals.
MegladonBass 5y ago
Fake. Your post history from 60 something days ago Says girl wants ltr but you claim to be 2.5 years in. Tf dude lmao
classylassy28 5y ago
There is more to attraction than just smv, I've seen friends leave very handsome, high smv partners for the slightly fat funny guy. women look for all kinds of other things like how much he shows he cares, the conversations, etc, list is endless and all women have different opinions. Smv only gets you so far.
legaxo 5y ago
Success is the best revenge brother. Fuck up those weights and be smart about things. Use this as fuel to the fire within you to improve yourself as much as you can. Your next girl will be an upgrade from Kate, I’m sure of it!
redditaccountiuse 5y ago
Good. You found out she wasn’t the one to marry. Go on to the next one.
Ridabewa 5y ago
You’re deluding yourself by thinking she didn’t monkey branch because of hypergamy. You need to take a hard look in the mirror. There’s a lot to learn here for you. But once you do the work and show up on campus with a hotter girl - all will be right with the world.
moomookingmoose 5y ago
So I see you've posted before and asked questions about what to do before it got to this point. I see that you also completely ignored any and all advice given to you. I'm also assuming you've never read the sidebar and you only come here to get sympathy, but honestly it's your fault in some part that she cheated on you. You come off as one of those people who blames everything and everyone except yourself and your own lack of effort. Fix yourself first and honestly don't keep posting if you're gonna ignore everyone and not bother reading the sidebar.
furcryingoutloud 5y ago
Behind every beautiful woman, is a man saying "NO FUCKING WAY!"
Think about that before you put that next unicorn on that pedestal.
_Lemongrab 5y ago
Her loss. I know it hurts, but you're fucking free now, bro. Go have fun. You'll romanticize it, but hang out with your real friends and some chicks and you'll be good in no time.
​
NiceTryDisaster 5y ago
Bitches ain't shit but hoes and tricks.
"But just the fact that I will see these guys together on campus everyday for the next 18 months is what will reopen the wound and hurt me"
Or you can turn into the social butterfly that is hugging and mingling with all the other girls on the campus in front of your ex-ltr. But I hope you've been doing that already.
l0gicbomb 5y ago
I haven't been doing that. I literally said no to multiple girls who asked me out on a date just to maintain the integrity of my relationship with Kate. Lol I got fucked over. Now I know what to do.
northernCAgrown 5y ago
Approach them now and say "that date offer still on the table? Let's grab a drink.."
Whisper Moderator 5y ago
You will. Just don't show it.
Act indifferent, go no contact, immediately get yourself out there again. Next time, don't be monogamous.
dealsleds1 5y ago
If it makes you feel any better she’ll probably do the same to Shane.
shredzro 5y ago
Man, the problem with asktrp is there so many pretend “alphas,” that only bash the poster and call them “faggot.” Real men teach, not just bash.
Back to the post. My only advice is to act like it doesn’t bother you. It kills people to know when there acts don’t bother you. They’ll act out more, be more obsessive, etc, just to get your attention. If they’re in your friend group they may try to flaunt a lot more in front of you.
Regardless, do not ever show it bothers you. If anything act amused by it. Get more women. You’re free brother.
Also, remember, “she’s not yours, it’s only your turn.”
HurricaneHugues 5y ago
"Man, the problem with asktrp is there so many pretend “alphas,” that only bash the poster and call them “faggot.” Real men teach, not just bash"
Not only is there a sidebar that contains all the entire philosophy, but OP has been coming here for THREE MONTHS about this chick.
The thing with AskTRP is that all the advice one can receve here from users van be directly taken from the sidebar itself. It's like having your own personal RP advisor in your own mind. There would be no need for 90% of the posts here if people actually read the material. That's like calling your professor or another student everyday to get help with the homework, even though ubhave the fucking book.
WoodWizzy87 5y ago
What a c***. Don’t let her swing back once he goes full beta. Or give her a revenge bang and kick her out
TheGreatGatzb 5y ago
A very shitty situation all around, my friend.
A few notes:
He isn’t a Beta orbiter if she’s attracted to him. His SMV compared to yours doesn’t mean shit. He gave her tingles & you didn’t. It’s that simple.
She seems like a feminist cunt. I’m surprised that as a Red Pill man, you tolerated that kind of defiance. I would have walked away then & there (if not a long time ago).
Major props to your friend for telling you. Take him out for a drink & make sure he knows you’re appreciative for looking out for you.
A woman with guy friends is a woman waiting to cheat. Run the numbers, my friend. They never lie.
If there’s one thing I wish I could drive home to you... Never listen to what she says. Watch what she does.
Now go find a hottie thottie (or two/three) & forget about the cunt you left behind.
TheGoblinTurkey 5y ago
She'll try and branch swing back to you once she finds out how quickly you moved on to banging better looking girls.
The satisfaction you'll feel will make all the pain go away.
Duke318 5y ago
This is precisely why anyone that says "I don't care about beta orbiters because they're beneath me and I'm alpha as fuck!" is an idiot.
​
Any woman that entertains beta orbiters lacks emotional maturity and proper boundaries. It's only a matter of time before one of them slips in.
​
Get out and go zero contact if it isn't obvious to you already. The big red flag was the "you're insecure" line, followed by that "regressive" comment.
HurricaneHugues 5y ago
Exactly. A respectable woman who was raised in a good household knows and practices these boundaries. Her mom didn't have guy friends, and her dad was a solid dude. She will seek to duplicate their lifestyle in a way to reach the same relationship success for herself.
Guy friends? Good for you, but I don't commit.
Duke318 5y ago
My parents have been married for almost 50 years. Recently, there was some event where my mother learned that her ex-boyfriend from high school would be there. She suddenly had no interest in attending. Imagine that, 50+ years later she had zero interest in reminiscing with an ex.
HurricaneHugues 5y ago
They're called exes for a reason. What's there to reminisce about? It's been 50 years.
chadsvasc 5y ago
Essentially blaming others for the problem she is causing. Female hamstering/mental gymnastics 101.
l0gicbomb 5y ago
I had a problem with her having beta orbiters, but I thought every girl has them and I was clearly above them in SMV, she wasn't that close to him(back then) so I didn't care a lot about it (as you say, this was a mistake)
I thought Shane was just a beta orbiter until they both started getting more and more close to each other, that's when I told her to stay away from him if she wants to stay with me. She didn't listen, she still used to sneakily chat and talk to him.
This was the breaking point where I had the argument where she made the "patriarchal and regressive" comment. It pretty much was no-contact from that point on until I came to know that she's going on dates with him.
pridebrah 5y ago
It's not so much about the SMV comparison as it is the orbiters giving her what you're not. Go to my post history and look for a thread I started a couple months ago where my LTR cheated with a beta. Read the replies I got. A lot of good stuff in there that is dead on.
Also, she will burn this Shane guy. Guaranteed.
l0gicbomb 5y ago
Thanks!
failingtheturingtest 5y ago
Understand this. If you tell a sheila to stay away from a beta orbiter, he's no longer a beta orbiter. He is now your competition.
Sheilas are very solipsistic. They view the world in a way that suits their internal narrative. If she sees you as alpha, and you see him as competition, he must also be alpha. If you are concerned about her spending time with him, you think he's likely to win, therefore he's more alpha than you.
She then only needs to warp her perspective to make that reality. "well, he would be a good provider. Gets good grades. And his hair lip, bung eye and girly walk kind of make him look like Joaquin Phoenix." boom, you just made little girly boy a fucking superstar.
This is precisely why people are told over and over and over and over that mate guarding is counter productive.
Duke318 5y ago
If you're a man that actually has options, why would you be dating anyone that hangs out with other guys 1vs1 on any kind of regular basis? You don't have to be controlling about it, just don't date women that are crawling with orbiters. Done.
pridebrah 5y ago
Great post.
l0gicbomb 5y ago
Fuck that makes sense. Thanks.
juliusstreicher 5y ago
Are you thinking of taking her back if she comes crawling?
​
You had better get that stupid thought out of your head, if you are.
l0gicbomb 5y ago
Na man she outright disrespected me. I was thinking of complete no contact.
LogicalOlive 5y ago
Many people need to screenshot this.
rcwhitaker 5y ago
Frankly, women are guilty until proven innocent in today's world.
Guilty thots will be treated, at most, as a plate. If innocence can be proven by some point, meaning she knows how to treat an alpha properly, and an alpha status is attained by the male, then commitment can be considered.
If at any point her values and behaviors (same thing) present as being incongruent with the ideal, you drop her to a plate. No questions asked. Theres no sympathy here, these are her problems and theyre for her to manage, if she fails she gets the option of plate or the relationship ends altogether. You simply say, "I'm going to look at other options now," which is exactly what your GF was doing herself, but you also DO IT, you dont just say it to run game.
Are you capable of doing that to your GF of 2 years? would she even accept that status? This is what makes TRP (being a self-respecting and dignified man) potentially challenging. Do you have the finesse to manage that transition? Are you willing to risk losing your gaurunteed weekly lay for the foreseeable future?
Betas have one answer, Alphas another.
herkguy 5y ago
You were her beta orbiter, not Shane. You should have bailed the second you saw her talking on Whatsapp...Clueless...
awfulgoodness 5y ago
Don't confuse your ability to be hurt with what you think someone is worth.
redpillparis 5y ago
LTR or not, I have learnt that any kind of emotional investment puts one in a weak position. Hopefully, you can learn and grow from this experience.
Hardwire6 5y ago
Dude i really like the fact that you know how to progress now . Just be happy that she left you early because if this thing turned to something else , it would have hurt a lot more . Let her cheat on your scumbag "friends" ass too.
monsieurhire2 5y ago
Ha. Don't feel bad, bro. Take it as a sign that she didn't think that you would be with her long-term. She's probably realizing that she should find a nice beta to lock down, and she thinks that you are too high in SMV as a long-term prospect. I mean, she could spend the next three to five years with you, and meanwhile you will be using her like a whore, but for free, then you will gradually get bored, not "feel" it anymore, and then, richer, more accomplished, and better dressed, will start screwing someone younger, hotter, and tighter, leaving her high and dry.
I mean, maybe YOU can't see it yet, but she can. It happens all the time.
People on here complain about how women use them, but there is a significant sub-category of wealthy, or high-enough-status, or upperwardly mobile men that go through women like disposable juice-boxes, sucking the youth out of them, then passing them on to the next.
So, if you are already TRP aware, she probably picked up on it, and also she probably reads her own female version of gender politics that explains away your behavior in a way that will preserve her self-esteem, hence her pejoratively labeling your behavior as "patriarchal" and "regressive," when in fact, you were right on the money. I mean if you were openly fucking other women, or spending time with them, you would ALSO be "patriarchal" and regressive, so....
I would just let them go do their thing. But easier said than done, and if you have slept with someone and developed an emotional attachment, it's hard to see things clearly, and it is still painful.
I once had some girl I hooked up with first "cheat" with a guy about 2-3 notches below me, then she LTR'd a guy who was 2-3 notches below THAT guy. This guy was a 4, and she was 6-7. But she wanted security because she had ridden the cock carousel and gotten plowed by a bunch of dudes. I was so bluepilled, I had no clue and didn't put anything into context.
GarethBaleWannabe 5y ago
Those this happen often... girl thinks your SMV is too high so she proactively nuke the relationship because of her insecurity?
monsieurhire2 5y ago
I think it played a role in my last breakup. I got exasperated with her at one point when we moved in together, and her reaction, was, "Well, should I move out then?" I was dumbfounded by this, because I grew up in a household with daily, contentious arguing, that always resolved itself, because it was conducted mainly for entertainment purposes. People would say horrible things, but it was all just bark is worse than bite stuff. And then, all the female platonic female friends were suspected as being my plates, even the homely ones! Meanwhile, she would do stuff the some guys would get insecure about, but I had a pretty thick skin, and so was chill about it, but if I did anything, she would get super insecure. I think she assumed that I was going to dump her, and so she got out early to save her ego, but I literally fought until the end. She was basically either super difficult, or crazy, so I was playing the game on insane mode. She would say stuff like, "Your self esteem is way too high. You have too much power. You shouldn't have this much power." I really just wanted her to shape up and stop being a flaky, disorganized, chronically late idiot, but nope. I think she thought that since I was older, I would be easy for her to control because I would be grateful. She did have a lot of good qualities, but the craziness and the goals and values didn't align.
hamagiclamp 5y ago
This hit me hard
mrdeeds1972 5y ago
Oneitis strikes again. Once you get over that you can begin your training again.
Gordon-G 5y ago
Hahaa..I listen to at least one Tom Leykis or Patrice video a day for training and to keep even keeled!
wobbleelbbow 5y ago
no such thing. Only beta code.
DerpJungler 5y ago
Agreed to an extend. Every woman is "fuck-able".
However, it's never worth it to bang your best friend's current plate/gf. Why would one destroy a healthy and potentially beneficial relationship with another male? Especially if that friend has some good values and he's not a beta/feminist dude.
wobbleelbbow 5y ago
If. But if the friendship isn't valuable I don't see why any man wouldn't
TopOccasion29 5y ago
Agreed. I only bang girls who's boyfriend/husband i don't know. If i know the guy and we're cool then i won't touch his girl.
BookyMcBooks 5y ago
She's a whore, not much more complicated than that.
Gordon-G 5y ago
These ho’s aren’t loyal
TopOccasion29 5y ago
They never were, they aren't and they never will be.
VasiliyZaitzev 5y ago
So, if you were maintaining sexual relationships with multiple women, you wouldn't give a shit. Think about this for the future.
bruiser18 5y ago
I find this hard to do. I can maintain relationships with multiple women, but it’s always either ‘we’re both exclusive, or neither of us are’. I’d love to be able to maintain multiple one-sided exclusivity relationships like some guys on here. Beautiful thing.
VasiliyZaitzev 5y ago
That's because you're a young guy and all you are selling is basically: young dick. There are a lot of guys selling young dick so it's not as easy unless you are top 10%. You have not yet Become the Prize. Once you do, you will have women basically showing with with "vagina" as currency, and you can dictate terms...assuming you have made yourself awesome.
250kcal 5y ago
Riddle me this man, how do you have time to handle more then one chick? With 60+ hours working, gym, video games, sports, going out with friends, family and camping. I only have one night free on Saturday to have fun with my fwb. So whats the secret? Do you not work? won the lottery/inheritance? retired? still in college?
I read these stories about people spinning multiple(3-5) plates and open relationships and I am just baffled, they have to be lying there is no way you can successfully find the time to do that and not sacrifice something huge in return.
VasiliyZaitzev 5y ago
I'm 51. I work from home, so no commute. I don't play video games, at all, ever. No family close to where I live, I don't go camping. Lots of free time because I can get most of my shit (work, errands) done during the day. So basically I have 5-6 nights a week to bang women (1-2 are for my band). A couple of my plates are long term FWB that I only have to see once or twice a month for a few days. Simples.
civilizedfrog 5y ago
Children?
VasiliyZaitzev 5y ago
None that I know of. I'm agnostic on kids. My OLTR1 announced today, at the ripe age of 23, that she would now like "loads" of kids, provided they were all boys. No word on why she prefers only boys.
The_Red_Trooper 5y ago
You are right. If you are a man who works and have hobbies then who has time to spend multiple plates. Either these guys are losers who chase pussy with no hobbies or they are lying.
matt675 5y ago
There is a good amount of both on this sub
bruiser18 5y ago
True, not as easy to do as an 18 year old guy. I’ve got higher SMV than most guys my age though. Good looking, ripped, social status, making money, good game, preselection. My control game has been kinda shit because there’s not a lot of material on it. I’m finding it hard to instill the ‘you are exclusive to me, I’m not exclusive to you’ dynamic. When I want a girls exclusivity all I can really do is tell her something like girls who fuck me and only me get the time and attention that non-exclusive girls don’t. Kinda make her aware that exclusivity from her = more affection from me.
Project_Zero_Betas 5y ago
They're just dynamically managing their marital slots.
bruiser18 5y ago
Yeah but man, imagine having a whole bunch of bitches who are exclusive to you and only you. That’s a world I’m gonna live in.
Project_Zero_Betas 5y ago
"Whole bunch" is just being greedy. And disrespectful as well.
bruiser18 5y ago
What’s disrespectful about it? If they’re agreeing to be exclusive, and you’re not hiding anything, how are you disrespecting them?
Project_Zero_Betas 5y ago
Parenting time isn't a commodity.
bruiser18 5y ago
I’m a greedy, selfish bastard. You should be too.
Project_Zero_Betas 5y ago
Hard pass
failingtheturingtest 5y ago
Learn outcome independence. Here's how this conversation goes.
"Either we're both exclusive or neither of us are".
"That's fair." and silence.
Some will never contact you again. But...
Up to that point if you have held frame and showed your value, and she's seen it, she'll reach out in a few weeks to catch up. She will be MUCH more sexual because she's making a last ditch effort to get that sweet exclusivity. Sometimes it will be that meet up, sometimes the next, she will bring up the topic again.
You just remind her "I can't offer you exclusivity. But I'm much more attracted to girls who only want to be with me"
She either accepts it there or she never will.
At the end of it all, you still have what's inportant: your ability to game other women. Either this plate continues to spin, or breaks, but you're still golden.
bruiser18 5y ago
Yeah I get you. I like the “I’m much more attracted to girls who only want to be with me” thing. I say something similar myself. A kind of ‘you can have my dick, or you can have my dick & investment, but only exclusive girls get the second option. Something like that.
Either way, if you don’t like my terms, you can piss off and I’ll game other girls.
ImplodedVeggies 5y ago
He didn’t say one sided.
bruiser18 5y ago
My point still stands
hmsthinkingmeat 5y ago
When you see them on campus you shouldn't feel bad, it should bring a big shit eating grin to your face because:
1) You found out what a THOT she is before you invested any more time, effort, emotions, or money into her;
2) You've learned a valuable lesson about how AWALT and are way ahead of the curve than more dudes - most of us find TRP after being dumped on badly, and we're usually by then in our 20's, 30's or even older.
3) You also found out what an ass-hat your supposed friend is, and have got to cut him loose before he really craps on you over something really important.
It won't be long before she does the same to him, so all in all you've come out of this far better off than when you went into it.
QueenSlapFight 5y ago
I agree with what you're getting at, but it'd just like to add you never invest time, energy, and money in a woman; you only spend it. Investing implies you'll get it back with some value. Spending means it's gone forever and has nothing to do with the present day.
the13thmonk 5y ago
This dude. Especially given that you were dating for 2.5 years.
That’s a serious relationship, maybe leading into marriage etc. if that’s what your aim is.
I feel like if you really want hell, marry someone like this, then have kids, THEN find out.
It should 100% bring a grin to your face seeing them/her after your hurt fades
An_Actual_Politician 5y ago
This EXACT same thing happened to me, only I was married with two really small kids.
It hurt, probably the same that OP got hurt, and the remedy is the same. Mission first, channel all anger into lifting, abundance....unfuck myself.
I'll just say this since I have a long way to go. Even those of us who get knocked down facing our ultimate fear dead in the face. The solution of MRP, drive and a belief in yourself? Trust the process and getting up again, better than ever, isn't only possible. It's inevitable.
the13thmonk 5y ago
The difference between you and OP tho unfortunately is that you’re bound to this woman through your kids for the next double digit amount of years
An_Actual_Politician 5y ago
Absolutely. But the initial hurt and shock is the same, I guarantee that. And the inclination to play the victim and backslide as a man is like a drug.
MRP is the way to acknowledge and traverse all those pitfalls and actually come out stronger than ever.
I'm thankful every day for this sub and the guys who add value to it.
the13thmonk 5y ago
Same ^
QueenSlapFight 5y ago
Yeah while OP should rightfully feel hurt, she did him a huge favor by showing her colors now rather than later.
dtyler86 5y ago
Best reply yet
BradTheGymRat 5y ago
Love this.
​
Will try to remember and use this mindset as well.
RedKnightTime 5y ago
You said this two months ago. You're either full of shit now, or you were full of shit then.
Project_Zero_Betas 5y ago
I think the give-away was naming a guy "Vivian." Like WTF?
alpha-zach 5y ago
You were mate guarding and it drove her away.
The best approach was to AMOG him. Let her have her beta orbiter friends but make him look small and weak compared to you. Not necessarily make fun of him behind his back with her. Potentially little jabs can be fine. But go out with them and AMOG him with shit tests and get him defensive and butt hurt.
ChadTheWaiter100 5y ago
Vivian is a girls name.
But who cares. This is what you do- act like you don’t give a fuck. Literally! Show no pain and do whatever you have to do to fuck women immediately! Ghost her and go no contact. When you see her, smile and talk to her as if nothing is wrong.
VasiliyZaitzev 5y ago
Not in UK, S. Africa, etc. In the US, it is name for old ladies.
l0gicbomb 5y ago
Lol I do know males with the name Vivian. Anyway, thanke! I understand everything except the "smile and talk to her as if nothing is wrong" Uhh... Why? I was thinking of sticking to no contact, no smiling/talking etc.
juliusstreicher 5y ago
You don't grab her and talk her ear off and give her your daily schedule and life's journal; you are about as polite as you are to the school librarian that wants to recommend a great botany book: You smile, nod your head and say "Thanks, see ya!"
​
You aren't supposed to go into her orbit, and become her BFF, or even 'friend'.
ChadTheWaiter100 5y ago
To show her you’re happy on your own and your not negatively effected by her poor decisions.
civilizedfrog 5y ago
Patriarchy was right about her cheating ass.
Hard next her, faggot. Who gives a fuck if they are together or not. Now she gets to see different women with you everyday.
RPLawyer 5y ago
When she dropped the P-word, this was OP's cue to GTFO of this relationship.
Popeman79 5y ago
Are there really people who talk like that in their day-to-day life? I believe that internet warriors write it, but actual students on a college campus? Scary. Jeez.
the13thmonk 5y ago
Yup. 100% there are
SeasonedRP 5y ago
Make a mental note of all of her behavior changes that began when she got interested in this guy. All of a sudden becoming cold, distant, and starting silly arguments are big ones. Next time you begin seeing these signs, bail out and don't look back. Use this as a learning experience.
fnncktbjhmkhed 5y ago
She held red flags every sentence of this post, and you didn’t see one of them. If anything she did you the favor of being direct about it instead of making you find out 6 months into it. Learn how to identify red flags and good luck.
CasaDeFranco 5y ago
Can you break down the red flags further individually?
askmrcia 5y ago
Texting his Shane, going to college and leaving the college with Shane, getting defensive
the13thmonk 5y ago
Also in LTRs you need to set boundaries and adamantly stick to them.
This is a great opportunity for a lesson.
When she said back the patriarchy needs more male friends than you etc. it should have crossed boundaries you set and you should have been prepared to next her.
Do this next time. Set the boundaries in the first place and stick to them.
HurricaneHugues 5y ago
You don't set boundaries in LTR, you just enforce them. Ifnyou have to mention it, you already lost. Keep your standards to yourself, like a mental checklist, if you will. If she doesn't meet your standards naturally, then you are not compatible. Don't try to change her. Learn to accept people for who they are.
the13thmonk 5y ago
Hard disagree.
People change. Because she didn’t like the club when you met her doesn’t mean she won’t. However a boundary here would be hanging out at a club wouldn’t be acceptable.
Imo it’s important to set clear boundaries. AND be prepared to walk if they aren’t met.
Everyone changes and grows. If you don’t discuss and set exact expectations for what success will look like in the relationship you’re not going to land there
exit_sandman 5y ago
This is what hoes do - they'll literally lie to your face that they aren't cheating and/or branch swinging and love you more than anything else, and then will drop you at a moment's notice.
The problem isn't that this is completely standard behavior - the problem is that women who do this can be so much in denial about what they're doing that they actually believe what they say.
Also, don't beat yourself up about it. Just ask yourself whether you would truly want to date a woman like that.
mrrooftops 5y ago
It should be called Beta abuse.
igotreasons 5y ago
Lmfao
Suck it up buttercup, this ain’t inceltears
mrrooftops 5y ago
Hey brainstem. Betas get abused. Don't be one, you twitchy beta.
INNASKILLZ2K18 5y ago
Yeah, wtf? Your post history like u/mrmaldoror picked up, says you weren't in an LTR.
l0gicbomb 5y ago
And in my reply to u/mrmaldoror: I didn’t discover TRP before I got into an LTR, now I know that LTRs aren’t a viable option especially when young. I knew TRP was against an LTR that’s why I never called it an LTR in my previous posts. Learn my lesson about LTRs now, won’t be getting into one anytime soon.
About compsci, true but even Shane is compsci :/
Not complaining, it is what it is and I’ll embrace it and move on
SlappaDaBayssMon 5y ago
LTRs aren't inherinetly bad, it's just higher risk/reward than otherwise.
yungbuck19 5y ago
Who gives a fuck if she cheated, you shouldn't give a fuck, she did you favor.. hell atleast you found out. Young woman move on.
mrmaldoror 5y ago
You are just young and stupid.
Also your post history says you weren't even in a LTR?
Stop posting silly stories about your love life on TRP because you are clueless to everything going on around you. Throwing words around like you know what they mean. Assessing your own SMV and others like your shit don't stink.
Keep reading material here, stay out of relationships for a while, work on yourself and enjoy life.
----
p.s. go to sleep tonight, forget everyone and everything about your situation and start tomorrow a new man
p.s.s you are in comp-sci, you are literally the lowest SMV at uni. I was a handsome tanned exotic looking young man and could bench 120kg at uni, but I also did comp sci, my SMV was 1/10
p.s.ss don't waste time with fat chicks.
Psycholephant 5y ago
LMAO wut? Your major means fuckall in college. You can game anyone especially if you lift, dress well, and nofap.
mrmaldoror 5y ago
Understandably.
Did you do comp sci though? Your friend circle is generally socially retarded, there are no women, you have nothing to talk about but code and you are hunched over a computer the whole time.
Psycholephant 5y ago
Ah I see your point. Shouldn't stop you from approaching though. Of course don't be as sexual because of harassment charges. Keep it light hearted and playful.
its4thecatlol 5y ago
Your SMV is a 1/10 because you are a social retard lacking the ability to communicate with other men.
mrmaldoror 5y ago
I was talking about 10 years ago relative to where I am today. I have no problems getting laid now.
htbf 5y ago
Your major means nothing. As long as you're charming and exude passion.
l0gicbomb 5y ago
I didn’t discover TRP before I got into an LTR, now I know that LTRs aren’t a viable option especially when young. I knew TRP was against an LTR that’s why I never called it an LTR in my previous posts. Learn my lesson about LTRs now, won’t be getting into one anytime soon.
About compsci, true but even Shane is compsci :/
Not complaining, it is what it is and I’ll embrace it and move on
henry589 5y ago
Bro backtrack through different woman ! Sometimes attraction is based on feelings and not logic.
TheBlackAlistar 5y ago
What you see in SMV of Shane and what she sees of SMV in Shane are completely different. Women don't look for the same thing men do when it comes to the opposite sex. Thats why you can see fat fucks pulling hot girls.
McCarthyCohn24 5y ago
You're not gonna want to hear this, but what you need to do now is shit in a basic brown bag (the kind you may have eaten lunch out of as a kid), put the bag on her porch, light the top of the bag on fire, ring the doorbell (or knock) and run to a pre-set hiding/viewing location. If all went as planned the victim will see the flaming bag and be all like "ahh fire!" followed by a quick stomping of the bag.
hmsthinkingmeat 5y ago
What - act like a childish butt hurt cry baby.
Yeah that's definitely the way to go.
McCarthyCohn24 5y ago
Well you don't get caught, derp
pre-death 5y ago
Go out 3-4 nights a week and talk to chicks. Hell, you should already be approaching 2-3 hotties on campus everyday during daytime. Get on Tinder as well. Report back in 3 weeks.
Gordon-G 5y ago
It’s a freaking buffet of Tits & Arse at college. Especially with more girls in college than guys today. You’ll never have better odds and more options to shag harpies
the13thmonk 5y ago
Tbh I’ve had way better luck after college. can still get with college girls by going to college towns. Except now have money/older/game is better
DecentUnderperformer 5y ago
This right here.
Son_of_Gatsby 5y ago
Very shitty situation, but it seems like you already know what went wrong and what you need to do.
It does sound like this outcome was very inevitable though, so next time you might want to jump ship sooner, rather than watching it sink with you on it. You're in college and you should always have options ready, even in an LTR. Girls always keep these options ready by default
asorals 5y ago
Yep. I had done this. A case of oneitis and wanting to make sure I did everything humanly possible to work it out
Auvergnat 5y ago
Doesn’t seem to me that he knows what went wrong.
In fact he explicitly says he doesn’t know what went wrong since he says:
What went wrong is that OP’s girl showed she didn’t respect him at all by doubling down on her bad behaviour after he made it clear it was not ok with him, and that instead of dropping her as anyone with abundance mentality would have done, he decided to stay with her instead. His scarcity mentality convinced him that he had to save this relationship so he mate-guarded: he confronted, ignored her a bit, argued, added some drama, and rationalised that he was doing it all right. OP failed to see that by not nexting her, he kept on demonstrating to her that his pseudo-boundaries were not in fact boundaries. OP also failed to understand that SMV is much more than height, facial features and bank account balance. That not leaving someone who disrespects you is the most glaring proof of powerlessness, and that powerlessness is low SMV. And despite the fact that after months of him demonstrating his low SMV to the point she finds Shane a better prospect, he still believes his SMV is higher than him.
OP has a fundamental lack of understanding of intersexual dynamics. But then his mistake is common and I must admit I was guilty of it as well pre-TRP.
If anyone disrespects you, you owe it to yourself to break the contract you have with said person or else you set yourself up for more disrespect. In relationships, if your girl disrespects you and double down on it when you express or show that it’s not ok with you, then you MUST next. Yes it’s hard when you have scarcity-fueled ONEitis, but failure to do so will only make it worse.
That’s what went wrong and that’s what OP needs to understand if he doesn’t want that story to repeat in the future.
Scott1001TV 5y ago
What if your girl disrespects you but apologize? Is this a sign of respect? Of course she could be lying and being dishonest, and you could be setting yourself up for more disrespect if you accept such apologies, but it does sound better than her doubleing down on it.
Auvergnat 5y ago
As usual, watch what she does not what she says.
Girls can be professional liars so don’t give any weight to her apologies or tears, but if you feel like giving her a chance, just accept them for now and watch her actions afterwards to see if she does regret and repent.
If she genuinely does not want to lose you, she will change her behaviour right away. She will actually be looking to prove it to you. But if she doesn’t really care if you break up with her or if she doesn’t believe that you would actually break up, then she’ll just go on. It should be quite obvious.
good_guy_submitter 5y ago
I gotta say, this is exactly it.
Unless you are married with kids. Then it's not a game. The stakes are extremely high, hard nexting is not an option, and you do what you gotta do but at no point is that bitching out like OP did.
The solution here was simple. He should have just said this to her when he found her chatting to him he first time. "I am not worried, you can talk to Shane as much as you want, he wouldn't ever lie to me and I know you aren't a cheater. Anyhow I will be busy for the next few days and not available. See ya."
And then went silent converted her to a plate. She likely would have not slept with Shane then because Shane is low smv but being propped by his jealousy. The fact Shane is romantically pursuing a woman in an LTR shows he is low SMV. A high SMV male would just bang her, not "Date" her.
Her hamster brain goes "If boyfriend sees Shane as competition, he must be high smv otherwise he wouldn't worry." She doesn't understand his worry isn't Shane in particular, his worry is that he's invested 2.5 years of time with her and the fact that any willing dick within 100 miles would fuck her whore cunt if she lets them, and her hamster brain is the only thing keeping her legs closed.
She's not even capable of understanding the dread that men in LTR 2experience because 90% of men don't have women trying to constantly bang them. Most men will fuck anything woman with a pulse if she lets them, the reverse is not true unless your SMV is at celebrity levels.
In order for your woman to feel dread and appreciate you, you have to put it into them by exhibiting traits and behavior that make her believe other women are chasing after you - or better yet have other women actively pursuing you but that is easier said than done for the average Joe. Women don't pursue you unless you are high enough SMV. Like said above its natural for women to give you some dread in a LTR, men pursue any woman with a pulse just about, pussy is pussy.
HurricaneHugues 5y ago
"The solution here was simple. He should have just said this to her when he found her chatting to him he first time. "I am not worried, you can talk to Shane as much as you want, he wouldn't ever lie to me and I know you aren't a cheater. Anyhow I will be busy for the next few days and not available. See ya.""
Leave those silly mind games for women. He should've mentally checked out of the relationship right then and there. The girl has already revealed herself to not be a quality girlfriend, there was no more time to waste. A quality girl knows it's wrong to do shit like that and wouldn't do it in the first place. It's not your job to teach these hoes shit their parents should've taught them.
good_guy_submitter 5y ago
What about that is a "mind game." You convert to plate and move on.
Do a > for quotes not a #. Your text is huge
grwyscxle 5y ago
THIS! his worrying about shane made the smv points flipped so hard. good view of this!
Carcrash1985 5y ago
Spot on
NeuroBoss31 5y ago
Haha my man!
redpillcad 5y ago
Top analysis here
Let Cad share the tactics when OP catches them texting
Hum here comes the bride....tell Shane (within her earshot) there is no need to sneak around and that a double team works for you and probably makes her panties wet thinking about it. Be a real pompous dick with your non neediness as if she were a piece of trash to you.
Watch her drop Shane like yesterday
319Skew 5y ago
Or game other women, stop being emotionally invested in the cunt and realize that he's got a long life of banging hotter women with less drama.
As for what to do when you see them, treat it like you lost a $20. It sucks but it's gone. No sense in making it into a big deal.
Your game turned the LTR into a lemon. Learn and move on.
NEVER show that it bothered you.
walawalawa 5y ago
This is it: hypergamy. It's neither your friend nor your enemy but a concept to be understood and managed.
​
Cross_De_Lena 5y ago
I was looking for someone in the comment section to point this out. This is the difference between being familiar with TRP principles and living by them.
theherosmyth 5y ago
Damn.. screenshotted this. Spot on
Lightways434 5y ago
Did the same quality observation
Spartan1590 5y ago
Also, OP is thinking too much looking for a reason, but the real one is "she just felt like it", AWALT and all the stuff we preach everyday around here.
Monkitail 5y ago
More importantly why is OP calling his male friends Vivian?
good_guy_submitter 5y ago
Female friend = preselection if hot. It's good to keep a couple you are platonic with and don't ever fk it up by banging them, remove that possiblity from your mind and treat them like a dude. Works as both dread and smv boost for any other woman you are banging that finds out about your hot female friend (whom you are not an orbiter to and have an equal friendship with).
goathunter05 5y ago
Wtf are you talking about? As OP states Vivian is a male whose name isn't actually Vivian.
good_guy_submitter 5y ago
Ah, OP must be gay I dunno
asktrp4433 5y ago
When dealing with LTRs I've noticed the captain often wants to go down with the ship.
Chalk it up to the emotional masochism required to even partake in an LTR.
causeandcorrelation 5y ago
Part of it is taking accountability.
forsaken_in_the_dark 5y ago
Captain's untreated oneitis...
the13thmonk 5y ago
This is a pretty high quality observation ^.
Nice way to put it