I've known her for a month. I met an hb7 through a mutual friend of ours and I said we should hangout one day. She seemed pretty interested, as was I. She would occasionally text me to try and talk about her day or something and I would go along with it but I wouldn't try and draw it out because texting for conversation takes up a lot of time.
We hang out one day and get food. I pick her up and we drive around, I kinda lead the day and choose where to go. she pays for her food and I pay for mine. It goes well, we hold hands for a good while to build up kino. After the date she tells me that she's traveling all of spring break so I won't see her for a week. I told her we can hang out when she comes back and we hug as I drop her off at her place.
We'll it's now 4 days since spring break ended. I texted her yesterday saying we should hangout next weekend. She says "oh i thought you weren’t interested anymore bc you nvr texted me over break" apparently I said I would text her over break, but I have no memory of saying that. I tell her we should hangout and she asks me what I want to do and I said "I'll figure it out by then."
Today I called our mutual friend and asked her what they do for fun together to get some ideas and she says "hb7 is kinda pissed at you" I asked why and she says "you said you would text her and you never did and you always make the decisions" I say "she doesn't like me making decisions?" "No"
apparently hb7 is mad but wants to give me a chance and some of her friends want her to drop me.
I believe a soft next is probably the best decision. I wouldn't go for a hard next unless anything changes. What do you guys believe, hard next, soft next or call the girl?
TLDR: go on a date with an hb7. Goes well. She travels for a while and we don't talk. When she comes back she's pissed at me making all the decisions and me not texting her while she's traveling. Next her?
bluefingerblue 5y ago
She doesn’t like you making decisions because she doesn’t trust you enough. Your frame is weak. Develop your frame. Get more confident in your decision making. This one is probably a lost cause. You may still be able to hook up with her, but she’ll never see you as a real man.
Also the date didn’t “go well” for her if all you did was hold hands and hug. You gotta escalate dude. Men escalate. Little boys are too scared.
Alpha27145 5y ago
You make a good point on the escalation. I honestly could've gone farther but I was too fucking distracted with her hand.
GirTheRobot 5y ago
Always assume attraction and escalate, always. When you get to the point that you're making out, assume that she wants your mouth on her tits. When you get to that point, assume she wants her hand on your cock. When you get to that point, assume she wants to have sex. Keep going until she says no, then say "that's fine" and back off.
bluefingerblue 5y ago
^ this
Only thing I’d add is back off...then try again after some time goes by. Sometimes they just need to pretend they’d “never do that” on the first date. It’s a defense mechanism. They want to fuck but they also need to feel like they didn’t give it up easy.
Store_Front_Door 5y ago
Don't stop leading. Hit her up and tell her where and what you two are doing, be prepared for some shittests about not showing enough interest.
Alpha27145 5y ago
do they shittest the more they're attracted or is there a stable level of shittests?
Store_Front_Door 5y ago
They always shittest to see if your frame is as solid as you're displaying it to be. There might be some more pressure since she's "disSapPoINtEd tHaT YOu DiDnT TeXT", so be sure not to get defensive and DEER.
Project_Zero_Betas 5y ago
ELI5?
GirTheRobot 5y ago
Never listen to what they say. They're crazy. They'll say things, and they'll tell their friends those things, but they won't necessarily feel that way. She's saying she's mad at you to get you to break frame and try and chase her. Never lose frame. Also don't ask her friend what they like to do for fun---who cares. It doesn't matter what THEY like to do. What matters is what YOU want to do and she'll follow your lead. You asking her friend demonstrates low SMV and general insecurity about what to do, because of course that friend is gonna go around and tell HB7 what you said--women don't keep their mouths shut. Then HB7 will start hamstering away about how much you really "get it" and how alpha you really are. You never want the hamster to work against you--it needs to be your best friend.
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I was on my first date with this chick (who became my FWB) and I had already been grabbing her ass that whole date, etc. When we got out of the bar I reeled back and smacked her ass harder than I've smacked anything in my life. She told me she was so mad at me and what could make me possibly think I can do that to her? I just laughed, put my arm around her waist and said "Yeah that was pretty hard, wasn't it..." Two minutes later we're making out in my car and she can't keep her hands off of me. Maybe she was legitimately mad--I don't know--it doesn't matter. What matters was I held frame instead of saying "Oh I'm so sorry I shouldn't have done that, I was an idiot, I won't do it again" and treating her like a little princess.
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I say just set up a date with her at such and such time at such and such place. If she says no or flakes, then you can soft next.
Alpha27145 5y ago
damn, that was a good story. I'll keep leading and set up the next date
desertfox130 5y ago
Soft next. Be ready to take the loss. Shes playing the game.
phatphreak666 5y ago
Yes it's a test. Will you crumple like a piss puppy or hold frame like Connor hard cock?
You make decisions. Invite her and hold frame
Alpha27145 5y ago
I shouldn't even ask her if she's mad or how I can fix it
desertfox130 5y ago
Nahhhhh. Explain to me how thats your issue...hold frame.
phatphreak666 5y ago
Don't ask if shes mad. Don't ask anything. Extend invite for date. Period.
phatphreak666 5y ago
From u/hurricane_hugues
She's already established that she is not of high value by taking 10 days to reply. You can never respect her beyond that. Don't send her a message containing anything other than a direct invite to you place. Don't even acknowledge who she is or that she took 10 days. You're unbothered, stable, desirable, on your way to be the greatest Chad of them all. One bitch cannot phase you. You're confident, nonchalant, and you don't give a fuck. You shoot from halfway across the court even though your team is down by 10 and there's 1 minute left in the game. Why? Because you're Chad and you don't give a fuck, and also because your jumper stays wet af.
Send her : "I'm free (Insert day of the week). We can do drinks and a movie at my place. Preferable after 7pm"
You have nothing to lose. This trash bag is out to waste your time. Don't waste any more words than that. She's either dtf or she can gtfo.
Update me with screenshots.
Alpha27145 5y ago
damn screenshots, I'll definitely keep you updated
W_O_M_B_A_T 5y ago
Are you in an LTR with her?
If not, who gives a damn if she's pissed? She's an adult and can handle her own emotional conflicts.
If she acts like a bitch when I didn't do shit to her, she's going on the back burner for a couple of weeks while I fuck other plates.
Alpha27145 5y ago
ya your right, I'm glad I don't have an LTR at the moment
X--Man 5y ago
Fuck that. Hard Next. Guess she broke her fingers and couldn't text you either? Too much BS already.