I am not very social and I don't know the ideal way to answer when someone says sorry.
Scenarios:
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Male relative 20 years older than me disrespects me/treats me unjustly. (It's not a huge deal.) Then he says sorry. Should I say its ok? No worries? Ignore what he says?
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Someone around my age does the same. Should I say its ok? No worries? Ignore what he says?
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How about for kids?
- A woman acts in a way that kinda disrespects me (or she is being sensitive?), then she says sorry. Should I say its ok? No worries? Ignore what she says? (I almost always ignore when women say sorry. idk if that's the right thing)
0io- 5y ago
In general, if they're apologizing the proper thing to do is forgive them and move on.
walkingbabymaker 5y ago
but how to respond?
0io- 5y ago
If it's a minor thing, like somebody bumped into you, just say "no problem".
If it's a serious thing, you could give a brief explanation of why it's a big deal.
"Please be careful around the radiation machine, because it costs $800 thousand dollars and if it gets out of calibration, it could cause someone to die from cancer. You shouldn't be leaning up against it."
"The gun in the drawer is loaded and you could blow your head off with it by waving it around like a toy."
For most minor things though, just accept their apology and move on.
TheChaser78 5y ago
Nothing more beta than getting worked up about someone apologising bro. That’s what middle age white ladies who are alcoholics do.
JosephBosa 5y ago
freudian slip bro, are u trying to tell us something?
VasiliyZaitzev 5y ago
If they are sincere, then accept with the expectation of a change in their future behavior. If they do not change their future behavior then de-emphasize their position in your life.
mrmaldoror 5y ago
Stop following scripts and learn to speak earnestly.
TheChaser78 5y ago
This. Just roll with the punches and watch how successful guys interact in general (interviews etc) then go from there.
walkingbabymaker 5y ago
ehhhhhhhhh just fucking answer the question if you know the answer
mrmaldoror 5y ago
My answer is the answer fuckstick.
walkingbabymaker 5y ago
this is a Q&A subreddit if you have no answer then fuck off
LoofaH- 5y ago
????????♂️
DevilishRogue 5y ago
He literally gave you the answer and you treat him like this? You owe him an apology (watch and see how he deals with it).
addwater 5y ago
Don't validate their apology with a response.
Silence / ignore or change topic / do whatever you going to do anyway.
Your emotional state shouldn't alter after an apology, just like it shouldn't alter when they act shitty towards you in the first place.
seducter 5y ago
This is a good question. For some reason, when people apologize to me, the further the apology from the act, the more angry I get when they do apologize. Like it validates that I was wronged. But I don't show it, I just tell them no worries. Maybe I'll bust their balls a bit, "don't let it happen again" with a cocky smirk.
Reaction seems to be proportionate to loss of frame.
A larger angry reaction means a larger loss in frame, from what I've seen. So saying "no worries" kinda makes you the bigger man, is less of a reaction than say, punching the guy, and results in little to no frame loss.
If the older person or person your age does something more severe, like say my father or brother reaches out to an ex to get back together, I'm gonna tell him it was unacceptable to do that, that it makes me look like an idiot and that they need to stay out of my business. If they apologize I'll say "it's all good but don't let that happen again".
Don't worry about kids, amused mastery is your friend here.
Just ghost women that disrespect you. They need closure, not you, why give it to them?
FereallyRed 5y ago
Apologies are inherently selfish.
They mean nothing.
GisforJumping 5y ago
Those lines look like they’re using it as an excuse to treat OP like shit. He even says it’s not a big deal so he’s falling for the “I’m sorry” til they do it again.
FereallyRed 5y ago
It's a corollary of "watch what they do, not what they say."
Words are cheap.
Apologies are bullshit.
Jedi_Buzz_Zerker 5y ago
"Yeah, you're a sorry person."
Just kidding.
While the above would be hilarious when talking to an ass-hole, the best response varies by the situation.
herrLitschka 5y ago
Holy fuck, sometimes it's best to not open Reddit... You need a fucking guide on how to react to apologies?! What the actual fuck, what is happening to humanity?
Drakane1 5y ago
that's why he's fucking asking
pipeDRE4MS 5y ago
WhY dId yOu HuRt mE iN ThE fIrSt pLaCe?
_thechinaman_ 5y ago
"Don't apologize. Just don't let it happen again."
walkingbabymaker 5y ago
I say that when a girl does something somewhat serious. For other scenarios it doesn't make sense to me.
_thechinaman_ 5y ago
I personally hate apologizing any time so I'm cool with it.
_quote 5y ago
I absolutely despise this. Saying “don’t apologize” just makes people feel worse about the situation and does not help resolve anything. You are literally not accepting their apology when you say that. If you actually want someone to not do it again, tell them you appreciate the apology instead of taking a jab at them.
As for saying “don’t let it happen again”, who do you think you are? Are you the first sergeant on an army base? No? Then don’t take yourself so fucking seriously.
Here’s an example:
You: (in a calm but serious voice) listen, X. You kind of snapped at me over there. I really did not appreciate the tone you took.
Them: I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to come off like that.
You: Okay. Let’s just move forward from here.
When you say that, you are communicating that you both have an understanding he will be more respectful in the future. He walks away from the situation knowing he was wrong, but having motivation to be nicer to you in the future. And the “let’s move forward from here” line is only necessary in a serious situation, like if someone makes you look bad in front of your boss or something. Otherwise, just say “alright, I appreciate that. it’s fine.”
Let’s use yours: Don’t apologize. Just don’t let it happen again.
Him: okay... (walks away thinking “fuck this guy.”)
_thechinaman_ 5y ago
There is much more to the context of receiving an apology than what words are said.
_quote 5y ago
Yes, like resolving the situation and not escalating it beyond what it needs to be. Saying dont apologize or don’t let it happen again is like an open ended response. It says “this is not over” to the other person. In fact, it shows that you let them hurt you. It’s a shit thing to say overall
_thechinaman_ 5y ago
I'm talking about tone, eye contact, body language etc. Things that communicate more than words.
MOSFETBJT 5y ago
wtf did u not go to 4th grade? How do people not develop such basic social skills?
Just nod your head and say ok and then move on with your life.
zxcvb7809 5y ago
I hate when people apologize. And I hate apologizing too I also hate making mistakes and I try not to make the same mistake twice. When people apologize to me I either tell them "it is all good, just don't do it again." If they do it again I don't say anything. Kids don't know any better usually so I give them a little more leeway.
The reason I view it this way is people are accountable for their actions. Whether they think so or not, they are. Adults get little to no leeway with me. I mean everyone makes mistakes but people that are not benefiting my life in any way and making mistakes repeatedly I don't say anything and slowly cut them out of my life.
walkingbabymaker 5y ago
so you are gonna say its all good just don't do it again to your father?