So two times within 24 hours I have been told that my way of speaking or analysis tends to be black and white. I lack nuance and am too "spearheading" with my opinions. I come off too strong or I don't put emotion into my thought process. Is this a problem with myself or our new society/world? If more information is needed let me know.
[deleted]
Posted 6y ago in Uncategorized - Permalink - Locked - 109 Views
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[deleted] 6y ago
Keep doing you. People who complain about "black and white" speech are pussies and can't handle talking that isn't sugar coated.
[deleted] 6y ago
My problem is one of these people were my boss
[deleted] 6y ago
Does your way of speaking affect your ability to keep your job? If so, only adjust for working purposes or find another job.
[deleted] 6y ago
I hate playing nice but I see the point thank you
SeamusAwl 6y ago
Over in the sidebar is a book recommendation about some laws of power. you should read that book and implement the author's recommendation.
OmLaLa 6y ago
Speech is nuanced. More often than not, it's not what you're saying but the way you feel about what you're talking about.
Good Rule of Thumb: Don't just talk to talk.
People hate filler/exposition in movies and TV shows because they don't add anything to the plot development or can be conveyed in a more interesting way. If you can't talk about whatever the topic is from experience or influence outside of "just knowing about it, just give a goofy answer or remember that silence is always an option.
Tl;dr: Avoiding conversations you don't care about, don't force yourself into filler responses.
W_O_M_B_A_T 6y ago
The technical term is Splitting and it goes deeper than just black/white all/nothing thinking.
Look it up. It's a form of Outcome Dependence.
It's a defense mechanism against deep, existential fears of being frustrated/not getting needs met.
It's about denial and intolerance of mixed, ambiguous outcomes.
Ambiguity is good, women love that shit. It's not your enemy. Choose to embrace the gray areas.
Choose to accept that the things you like and things you want always have some negative traits and morally questionable consequences. No matter what. Nothing is ever ideal. And that's OK, you can handle it.
Splitting is an enemy to peace and satisfaction in your life, because it prevents you from appreciating what you already have.
SkorchZang 6y ago
Look at their input for what it really is: a gentle sign they're making to you that what you say makes them feel anxiety, makes them uncomfy.
The reason why it makes them uncomfy is not relevant. Why are you making people uncomfy, why are you not taking care of your people? Were you intent on ruffling feathers and making people uncomfortable, or are you just talking like that because you don't know any better? Big difference there, the first one is perhaps a sign of situational mastery and probably part of some bigger plan, the second is impotent juvenile delinquency.
CeremonyTree 6y ago
Check out, 'On the implications of powertalk and other language categories.' by Whisper. Whisper's first comment has further reading. There are nuances of some conversations that perhaps you're not picking up on (especially in business).
Fuck_You_Pay_moi 6y ago
You glorious logical bastard, you're doing nothing wrong.
The only thing i will mention is the staple of "act like other's but think what you like"
Every now and again it's better to just be quiet or conform to what other's are saying, for example i used to have a boss that was a massive SJW Feminazi freak who loved stirring shit up, i totally disagreed with almost everything she said but it wasn't worth the energy or repercussions of arguing the issue.