27, male.
I have always had a fear of rejection from women and as a result I have avoided asking women out, even the ones I know are attracted to me. This has been an ongoing thing my entire life. The only dates/girlfriends/sex I've had have come as a result of the girl pretty much blatantly telling me that there is a 0% chance of rejection. I generate an okay amount of female attention but I can see that her attraction quickly dissipates once it becomes clear that I have no idea what I'm doing, that I'm not confident in myself, and that I don't really 'know' how to make a move with confidence.
I've passed up countless opportunities in my life where I'm like 85% sure that I can takes things to the next level. I could have made some fun and sexy memories by now but instead my sex life is boring and dull. I've notice that eventually she just gets tired of waiting for me to make a move (yay social norms) and either moves on to someone else and/or just stops trying with me in general.
I realize this is entirely my fault and I feel like I can change this if I could understand how, but I just don't know how, or how to be confident about it. For example there are a few girls on my FB/Instagram who I have at least a bit of history of playfully flirting with, but nothing ever going anywhere. Ideally I'd like to have the balls to message them/escalate things/go on a date but I just freeze up. I've been 'out of the game' so long I'm not even sure how things work anymore.
Advice?
900_year_old_vampire 6y ago
go get rejected 34893 times. you will begin to care less, and your demeanor will begin to show it. whats 1 rejection when you have 15 other women on the back burner anyway? you'll start realizing that its pretty much always better to just double down, rejection be damned, and that it works. care infinitely less, and watch what happens. it'll make you give off a different energy that women will fucking love. i promise. how long are you planning on being alive, anyway? does any of that shit really matter very much? caring about rejection huh.. oh, to be young again..
[deleted] 6y ago
The only way of changing is when the pain of staying the same finally outweighs the pain of change. You’ll never get over the fear. It’s impossible. You’ll just care less about it. Ask a stand up comic how they get onstage in front of so many people. They’ll tell you it takes five nights a week and multiple sets in a night to learn how to be comfortable with it. Talking to women is no different. Just go say hi.
fullskuckingninjas 6y ago
I'm gonna drop some brutal honesty. Women are never actually attracted to you or anyone else. They are only attracted to what you can provide for them. Or if it seems like they do want to fuck you, it's so they can try to get child support from you and take half of your shit. At that point, you'd be at the mercy of the gynocentric courts and probably wind up in a pound-me-in-the-ass prison. Might as well kiss your freedom, money, and well-being goodbye if you decide to date.
My advice: avoid dating. You'll enjoy life more, and get to keep your shit. And you'll pretty much get to do whatever you want.
auto-xkcd37 6y ago
^(Bleep-bloop, I'm a bot. This comment was inspired by )^xkcd#37