Frame.

You don't have it.

So you operate in hers.

100%

What the fuck do you want to do with your time?

Do it.

She invites you, you don't find what you need in 10 minutes, you head out. She cries, you leave, soft next for 3-4 days as punishment.

You really have no business being in an LTR.

[deleted]

What you did wrong was showing emotions, you showed you weren't comfortable with facial expressions and body language, and she saw that.

Your default state should be a stoic one. You are either positive (happy) or neutral (in the zone, chilling).

Whenever you are with her and she does (or is doing) something you don't like, or don't want to be part of (like watching lame movies with her sister), you just say you have stuff to do, kiss her goodbye and leave with a smile on your face.

You are a motherfucking MAN. You don't put up with stuff like that, but you also don't show emotion or fight Frames with women.

Next time she does this you leave right there and then, don't wait 30 minutes, because every second she sees you feeling unconfortable (non positive or neutral) is a second she sees you losing Frame.

. Later she asked why I was being such a crab and that I should be able to just hang out with her without she needing to keep me entertained. Like a supplicating beta... I ended up apologizing for being a baby and we made up and moved on.

You fucked up by going along with it. You are allowed your preferences, and "this is shit for me" is perfectly fine to think.

Long story - short (probably already too long...) I wanted to get up and leave after about 10 minutes of that. She began noticing I wasn't enjoying our dinner after about 20 minutes or so, then after about 30 minutes I declined doing anything and told her I was going to head out.

Nearly right.

Next time you give it 15 minutes, then silently pack up and walk out. Don't even tell her. When she texts you, ignore till next day, then just say "this wasn't the evening we agreed". Ignore all bullshit responses, don't even acknowledge.

When we got there she immediately starts crying and blames me for it. I wasn't expecting that and was pretty much disarmed. I left after a brief argument that was non-productive.

Discussion and talking is pointless. You want to just LEAVE, not stay around and let her tears muddy the waters while she blames you.

She doesn't respect you, she feels you should stay and don't have better options. You saying "I am going" makes her feel bad because in her mind you are low value and frankly you should be grateful for spending time in her company. You fix this by behaving as if you are high value and have better things to do: so you GO AND DO THOSE THINGS.

I'm going to talk to her tonight about this bullshit, and want to get to a resolution one way or another.

Oh fuck that shit.

She knows what she's done, and she thinks it's fine. Talking doesn't increase your value. Threats don't increase your value. YOU increase your value by increasing the value of YOUR life. Refuse to discuss any of it... simply participate only if she's being reasonable, otherwise quietly leave.

and want to get to a resolution one way or another.

You want a resolution because you want this fixed and agreed and then you stick to the agreement and you get on with your life.

Reasonable, but this is not how women work and not what women do. She senses value and limits and boundaries, she tests those things, and she will lie, cry and manipulate around them. Even if she agrees to everything you say, she'll change her mind later.

Just say "it's fine". Next time it happens you soft next (ie walk out and refuse to come back or talk to her). Reducing commitment and walking away is the only thing that will snap her to her senses. Staying and arguing is just telling her "I will stick around until you beat me down with emotion". Happily leaving (ideally to do something better) is the only language she understands and will respond to.

If you don't start having your own life away from her, and if you don't stop coming when she calls, she will lose respect, and she will either cheat or dump your ass or both.

You have no frame, but at least you have curiosity about why your girl treats you like a bitch. It's because you are one. I'm sorry but that's some medicine.

Get you some frame.

Start making the most of the conversations. Flirt with the sister here and there, but playfully. See how quickly these “girl talks” stop happening.

You also need to start being more authoritative in the relationship. There should be an activity in mind when you’re hanging out. If she’s watching sex and the city when you get there let her finish the episode (bc you’re not petty) then “ok, let’s go.”

Just tell her you aren’t interested in hearing family drama from her sister. You have nothing in common with her, you don’t like how negative she is, it doesn’t mean you don’t like your LTR, you just don’t like the dynamic you’re being brought into. Family is one of the few things that come before you, if it was just a roommate you’d probably have no problem just casually interacting and steering things in your direction.

This is kind of the equivalent of you inviting her over and then just sitting there and playing video games with a best friend online and completely ignoring her. You’d doing something she has no interest in, you’re likely talking about things she has no personal investment in, you’re being rude by inviting her over to waste her time not hanging out. It makes no sense for her to invite you over, maybe if you guys were cooking/ interacting in some other way, but honestly I don’t even like the idea of sitting around watching TV. It’s boring.

Side note. It’s two girls, if you can’t go over there and get them to do something fun, you’re also not doing it right. Show up knowing what you want to do and do it. Tell her sitting on the couch watching TV is boring, you want to do something interactive and fun with your girlfriend. As far as what to do, that’s up to you.

I think your girlfriend having a younger sister is actually a useful tool. How she treats you is an indicator of your overall position. The sister of an ex actually brow beat her boyfriend because he embarrassed her with how he shook my hand.

One important thing is I was a man dating a young girl, the age difference between me and her was also similar to yours. If you are a grown man and don't get treated like one then you need to reassert or back out and work on yourself some more.

If you feel like you could be replaced by a piece of furniturein the corner of her room then... it's too late, you have lost the power dynamic permanently. Your relationship can only exist in her frame, she's probably an alpha widow who was always in her ex's frame and now she wants a taste of it so chose you because you provided it. She won't allow it any other way, that's not your role.

I am going to go against the grain a bit. I am not saying leaving wasn't the right option what I am saying is that you show an amazing lack of social ability. that and some how you got yourself into the same situation not only once, but twice.

So let me get this straight. Your LTR invites you over. You go. Get dinner.....and just stare at two women talking? At no point did you consider just being happy fun guy and taking over said conversation?

She just comes off like an arrogant little brat to me, and she's not someone I would generally choose to engage in real conversation with.

Sure but you will encounter these people in life and most you won't be able to avoid. So best use moments like these to practice. Screwing up isn't going to cost you anything.

If you have internalized game and have you Frame well in place any bullshit a woman is going to throw at you is going to be nothing more then a good time. Black Knight a little, tease, rile up the sister, show your LTR you can handle someone like her sister. Your ego was too much in the way here.

If these were your goals:

dinner, said we might play a game, then I'd stay over my words (ie sex)

Then you failed. There was no reason you could not have controlled this and steered thing back. Drop the ego, focus on your goals. If leaving was really what you wanted then you would have just got up first minute, but you stayed....for a lot longer than 30 minutes.

I'm going to talk to her tonight about this bullshit

because talking always works.

Operating under her frame. If you don’t want to be somewhere, leave.

Oh what's that?? you're going to talk to her tonight about this bullshit? Talk? Well that ought sort things out.

Man up. Stop wasting your time. If being your girlfriends bitch is more important to you then you're going into a world of pain.

You lack frame, she knows it, her sister knows it, everyone knows it. And you won't get it by talking to her, so she can then ask you to come to her bedroom and cry about it.

Talk with actions not with words.

[deleted]

“Well this wasn’t what I had in mind, if you guys are gonna talk girly shit, I’m going to guy snort some sawdust or rub some dirt all over my chest and run with the wolves, see ya.”

Ghost this stupid bitch