LTR was acting strange, so I checked her phone ( I know beta move) and she has been texting an old boyfriend, and talking about meeting up. I confronted without letting he know I read her messages, she denied it completely. What now, dismiss it as AWALT hypergamy? Break it off?
Think about this. She will not care or cry, until you find out and show her evidence. Then she will act like she can't believe she did it and have more waterworks than a waterpark in the summer. She was sober and in the right frame of mind when she did.
Don't bother man. Soft next, turn to plate and go find another dishwasher. :)
Why do you think she's trying to meet with him? For cupcakes and icecream?
Which brings up an interesting point: If a girl is in an LTR, and wants to meet up with an ex for cupcakes and icecream, you should DUMP HER WHORE ASS!
Whether she pursues her ex again or betrays your trust more is irrelevant. The thing you really have to ask yourself is: do you really want to be with a woman who actively yearns for another man?
You got a bad egg, throw it out before it stinks up the place. It's what she wants anyways, just expedite the process for her and yourself.
She is lying to you, she's getting involved with someone else.
It's over.
Yes most women CAN behave similarly.... but this is actually happening, it's happening to you, and it's happening to you NOW.
I figure any woman I am involved with will.... sooner or later... fuck things up so badly that it's over. And when she does, it's over. I don't say "AWALT, so I'll stick with this shitty situation". I say "AWALT, it was going to happen sooner or later, but now it's happened and I am done".
She is behaving like a fuck buddy undeserving of your commitment. Treat her as such. If you're living together, move out ASAP.
Married red pill. Hope you're lifting, if not then start. Read the sidebar.
If she prepares to meet him, then intervene to buy yourself some time. That's recommended from one of the sidebar books: The Married Man Sex Life Primer. You need to improve yourself so that she doesn't feel the need to get tingles elsewhere. She has a lot to lose too, but at this point in time she is willing to risk it.
You cheating on her certainly played a part in it. She may want a revenge fuck and feels justified in doing so. Nexting would be the easiest solution if there was no baggage, but kids complicate things.
If she keeps denying and is gonna meet, then admit to reading her messages but under no circumstances be apologetic about it. Her cheating automatically nulls her right to privacy until she can earn back your trust. If she's not willing to do that, then might as well next her.
put some meth in her sock drawer and call the cops..
getting married and/or having kids with a woman pretty much gives them all the power. we can try to 'alpha' our way around this truth, but we will be better off realizing it and acting accordingly (I.E. do not get married or have kids)
The ship has sailed man. Save what's left of your dignity and leave without another word. At this point, the longer you stick around the worse you'll be when she finally leaves you.
Exactly this. It also takes time. When she branch swings it won't take long before she wonders why you didn't give a fuck about her and bailed. Then she comes crawling back; exes are exes for a reason.
I believe you should be straight up with her. Tell her she was acting strange, and you knew something was up so you checked her phone and seen the messages. It's not beta move, you did so because you noticed something was weird not because you're insecure looking at her phone every other day.
Confront her about how she is feeling and ask why she is feeling that way. Look deep into yourself, and ask her to do the same. Lay it all out. Ask her what could be done to make her more happy, and in return you to tell what she needs to do to make you happy. If you guys reach a common ground, great! If not, then you have to ask yourself if, are you guys both not happy and together for the wrong reasons?
That's what it sounds like it could be. Better to keep it real , and break it off, than to cheating on each other back and fourth. Unless you guys are open to an open relationship, it seems like the best case if both sides are not satisfied in the relationship but don't want to leave due to the kids and resources. Hope this helps.
So I get it: lawyer up and leave is the consensus, plate.
The only thing that is nagging me in the back of my mind is that I have cheated on her in the past, but did not get caught. That would make me a hypocrite right?
Whether or not you're a hypocrite is not the issue; the issue is "What kind of a relationship do you want?" And, as it is, it seems as if you have a terrible relationship. You have an LTR with a lying whore. Do you want that? She will probably try to divorce you with a common law marriage clause, and get a lawyer to suck you dry. Not to mention the child support, when she leaves you to live with her bf. Hopefully, you won't get an STD. Let's be charitable and hope that they don't try to murder you for your insurance.
She's fucking him and lying about it. Do you want to win some morality debate about hypocrisy or do you want a happy life?
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bpjsdrp 6y ago
/u/Archwinger said it best
stephcurrythrowaway 6y ago
You caught her cheating basically and want advice?
I'd preferably plate her and move on. In fact...just leave. Don't say anything.
[deleted] 6y ago
[deleted]
dfffdfhRjxfwf 6y ago
She has an Apple Watch
Leviticus59 6y ago
What kind of broken record bullshit is this? He checked her phone. What fucking difference does it make how he did it?
I-am-NOT-trolling 6y ago
This is one of the highest possible forms of disrespect, she's literally calling you a liar!
Other Men gave you solid advice. HARD NEXT.
dfffdfhRjxfwf 6y ago
So she has an Apple Watch that has all the texts, not password protected.
Trooper_1868 6y ago
Think about this. She will not care or cry, until you find out and show her evidence. Then she will act like she can't believe she did it and have more waterworks than a waterpark in the summer. She was sober and in the right frame of mind when she did.
Don't bother man. Soft next, turn to plate and go find another dishwasher. :)
omega_dawg93 6y ago
lol. try to be THAT guy instead of the guy you are.
[deleted] 6y ago
Dude break it the fuck off she lied to your face. She doesn't respect you at all. Fuck that bitch
dfffdfhRjxfwf 6y ago
Thank you so much for advice, it really helps.
sd4c 6y ago
She lied to you about it. When someone lies to you about something important, they have disqualified themselves as long term relationship material:
https://heartiste.wordpress.com/2008/06/23/girls-who-lie/
Hard next with ghosting, ASAP, no waiting. This is sick day from work to change your locks material.
nofilmynofucky 6y ago
Why do you think she's trying to meet with him? For cupcakes and icecream?
Seriously op the bitch is setting up to cheat on you and you're asking us what to do?
juliusstreicher 6y ago
Which brings up an interesting point: If a girl is in an LTR, and wants to meet up with an ex for cupcakes and icecream, you should DUMP HER WHORE ASS!
muddynips 6y ago
Whether she pursues her ex again or betrays your trust more is irrelevant. The thing you really have to ask yourself is: do you really want to be with a woman who actively yearns for another man?
You got a bad egg, throw it out before it stinks up the place. It's what she wants anyways, just expedite the process for her and yourself.
dfffdfhRjxfwf 6y ago
Thanks great feedback.
1Pink1Stink 6y ago
update :)
Dmva100 6y ago
Say
"Hey we need a break"
Ignore all her BS crying and shit tests.
Go fuck other girls.
She will be hitting you up down the road again (like shes doing with her ex)
You still retain what you are considering saving, which isn't worth the effort honestly.
Stop investing so much.
HumanSockPuppet 6y ago
This is the correct answer.
Say you're gonna take a break with bored nonchalance, and then ignore every text message and phone call she slings your way.
This relationship is over. Time to move on.
SiulaGrande 6y ago
this is literally the only thing you should do OP. if you do anything else youre a bitch real talk
The__Tren__Train 6y ago
demote to plate and get other girls
LordThunderbolt 6y ago
So your girl is about to cheat on you, what do you do? You stay quiet and get cucked? Or you grow some balls and dump her?
[deleted] 6y ago
[deleted]
LordThunderbolt 6y ago
You're both very shitty people with terrible morals and psychological issues
[deleted] 6y ago
Come on, man. Really? What's the benefit it hanging around?
[deleted] 6y ago
[deleted]
[deleted] 6y ago
Well done dude, great achievement. Some men have self respect and the ability to find new plates without getting treated like a turd.
TRP-Works 6y ago
Next the whore.
MattyAnon Admin 6y ago
She is lying to you, she's getting involved with someone else.
It's over.
Yes most women CAN behave similarly.... but this is actually happening, it's happening to you, and it's happening to you NOW.
I figure any woman I am involved with will.... sooner or later... fuck things up so badly that it's over. And when she does, it's over. I don't say "AWALT, so I'll stick with this shitty situation". I say "AWALT, it was going to happen sooner or later, but now it's happened and I am done".
She is behaving like a fuck buddy undeserving of your commitment. Treat her as such. If you're living together, move out ASAP.
flatox 6y ago
Break it off? No way dude! You just have to marry her, and then she will only love you, forever!
juliusstreicher 6y ago
Don't forget the expensive engagement ring! Your commitment to her will only increase her love for you!
Dmva100 6y ago
Yes and listen to all of her problems and make sure you go with her when she gets waxed before she goes on GNO, and you won't be going with her!!
mrpthrowa 6y ago
You know what you should do, why are you asking us?
bigtonebone93 6y ago
Don't forget to fuck her sister and or best friend.
dfffdfhRjxfwf 6y ago
Gents, I am ready to do break it off, I'll let you know how it goes.
Fucking sucks.
dfffdfhRjxfwf 6y ago
I would but we have a lot of shared resources and 2 kids. And I have not always been faithful myself.
If I do not leave am I entering into an unwritten contract where we cheat and look the other way?
I am hurt angry and confused and truly don't know.
dandar4600 6y ago
Married red pill. Hope you're lifting, if not then start. Read the sidebar.
If she prepares to meet him, then intervene to buy yourself some time. That's recommended from one of the sidebar books: The Married Man Sex Life Primer. You need to improve yourself so that she doesn't feel the need to get tingles elsewhere. She has a lot to lose too, but at this point in time she is willing to risk it.
You cheating on her certainly played a part in it. She may want a revenge fuck and feels justified in doing so. Nexting would be the easiest solution if there was no baggage, but kids complicate things.
If she keeps denying and is gonna meet, then admit to reading her messages but under no circumstances be apologetic about it. Her cheating automatically nulls her right to privacy until she can earn back your trust. If she's not willing to do that, then might as well next her.
LordThunderbolt 6y ago
Lol well in that case you just have to roll over and get cucked. You have zero moral high ground to stand on lol you're fucked.
Juan-San 6y ago
12 levels of dread. Read it. Also, lawyer up. You will need it after you find out you got cucked.
The__Tren__Train 6y ago
pretty much impossible to dread someone who has all the power
Juan-San 6y ago
Dread is meant to be a mechanism to get the power back.
The__Tren__Train 6y ago
right, but he needs to have leverage to make that work.
he has shared assets and 2 kids with the chick..
if she ever pulls the plug on the relationship, he's in for a world of financial pain + not seeing his kids. he's painted himself into a corner
TirionTheHallowed 6y ago
So what is your advice to him? How would you proceed?
The__Tren__Train 6y ago
put some meth in her sock drawer and call the cops..
getting married and/or having kids with a woman pretty much gives them all the power. we can try to 'alpha' our way around this truth, but we will be better off realizing it and acting accordingly (I.E. do not get married or have kids)
dfffdfhRjxfwf 6y ago
So been dreading, but I think instead of making her jealous and making her hamster work for me, it's telling her to branch swing?
The dreading is pushing her to explore options. If I ask for a break it could push her over the edge.
WhorehouseVet 6y ago
You're no longer Chad in her eyes. If you don't break it off and ghost her, you're a pussy in her eyes.
mountainbiker178 6y ago
The ship has sailed man. Save what's left of your dignity and leave without another word. At this point, the longer you stick around the worse you'll be when she finally leaves you.
Frdl 6y ago
Exactly this. It also takes time. When she branch swings it won't take long before she wonders why you didn't give a fuck about her and bailed. Then she comes crawling back; exes are exes for a reason.
[deleted]
Yizzy101 6y ago
I believe you should be straight up with her. Tell her she was acting strange, and you knew something was up so you checked her phone and seen the messages. It's not beta move, you did so because you noticed something was weird not because you're insecure looking at her phone every other day.
Confront her about how she is feeling and ask why she is feeling that way. Look deep into yourself, and ask her to do the same. Lay it all out. Ask her what could be done to make her more happy, and in return you to tell what she needs to do to make you happy. If you guys reach a common ground, great! If not, then you have to ask yourself if, are you guys both not happy and together for the wrong reasons?
That's what it sounds like it could be. Better to keep it real , and break it off, than to cheating on each other back and fourth. Unless you guys are open to an open relationship, it seems like the best case if both sides are not satisfied in the relationship but don't want to leave due to the kids and resources. Hope this helps.
StrongAffordance 6y ago
You can't negotiate desire. This seems pretty needy.
Yizzy101 6y ago
It's not negotiation, It's open communication. People can't read your mind. You can't expect people to just know what you want.
Trooper_1868 6y ago
you understand men process logic different to how women process logic yes?
StrongAffordance 6y ago
Fair
dfffdfhRjxfwf 6y ago
So I get it: lawyer up and leave is the consensus, plate.
The only thing that is nagging me in the back of my mind is that I have cheated on her in the past, but did not get caught. That would make me a hypocrite right?
juliusstreicher 6y ago
Whether or not you're a hypocrite is not the issue; the issue is "What kind of a relationship do you want?" And, as it is, it seems as if you have a terrible relationship. You have an LTR with a lying whore. Do you want that? She will probably try to divorce you with a common law marriage clause, and get a lawyer to suck you dry. Not to mention the child support, when she leaves you to live with her bf. Hopefully, you won't get an STD. Let's be charitable and hope that they don't try to murder you for your insurance.
She's fucking him and lying about it. Do you want to win some morality debate about hypocrisy or do you want a happy life?
TheDreadnought1 6y ago
So yeah, be a sad cucked non-hypocrite man, that's definitely the best option.
Srsly bro? Grow some fucking balls and dump her
sd4c 6y ago
When you cheated, you ended the relationship. Everything afterwards was a fairy tale.
Bail out, and don't cheat next time. You'll attract a better mate if you respect yourself enough to have integrity.
Have boundaries but never lie. Deceit is a feminine quality.
LordThunderbolt 6y ago
Yeah he has zero moral high ground to stand on