I'm 25, I have 300k+ in savings (never revealed to my partner.) and make 220k a year (revealed to my partner.). I'm 6'5 with a solid body and work out regularly. I'm doing ji jitsu and boxing weekly and dress well. I own my own little consulting company, yet my self-confidence has gone to shit and it appears I'm slowly falling into beta behaviour. The self confidence issues specifically come from the lack of respect and admiration from my partner.
About 6 months ago I met a beautiful 20 year old HB9 model while traveling and we fell in love. I decided to move into her town since I have the flexibility and her moving to my town did not make sense at the time (perhaps this was a bad idea.)
I knew from the very beginning that dating a model was going to be difficult and my game would have to be on lock to be able to keep her interest level high. This turned out to be more difficult than I thought without a proper support group in the new town (no friends, no family here.) I basically entered her frame by moving to her, she was bringing me into her world, I was not bringing her into mine.
She loves her father and respects him deeply. She values family and seems to have a solid upbringing. Both her parents have been very successful in life and they live in a very rich neighbourhood (I think meeting multi-millionaires all the time definitely fucked with my confidence.) One of the things I noticed is her mother is very dominant and this personality trait has rubbed onto my LTR partner (low agreeableness, argumentative) and is the trait that causes the most conflicts in the relationship.
The issue is I'm losing frame and as a result of that, she loses respect, and over time this has lead to a slow loss of interest on her side. She's texting less, saying less nice things less and constantly criticizing my behaviour (why don't you do this, why don't you get it?, i.e, why are you not acting like a man?)
The losing of frame has come from 3 sources. Specifically me getting jealous over people hitting on her (including her exs who constantly try to contact her, she does not respond.), my lack of social dominance in this new town and taking situations / her too seriously. She'll say something disrespectful and I'll rage out at her, instead of just ignoring or agreeing and amplifying. It honestly feels like I have a stick up my ass lately when I'm a lot more laid back normally.
Here are some questions I have:
- Is it possible to regain respect after losing frame due to jealousy? How do you prevent jealousy when everyone wants your girlfriend?
- How do you gain social dominance in a new social circle, especially as someone who is more quiet naturally? This is just a weakness that gets highlighted at the dinner parties we go to (can you learn to be good at this, or do I just stop going to as many of them?)
- How do you internalize your success when you're surrounded by wealthy people? (220K / year is part of the 1% where I am from, but I don't feel good about it at all, which is very sad since I came from nothing.)
- What do you do about a woman that is argumentative and disagreeable? She is like this with everyone, not just me. I never back down, but it leads to massive amounts of conflicts and fights since we're both extremely disagreeable people.
- We hang out 5/7 days of the week, 2 days are reserved as me time, is this too much?
Lastly, I'm slowly realizing that following the ideas of other people on how to act in a relationship (i.e, RedPill ideas) is causing huge negativity in the relationship. The ideas of hypergamy and the true nature of women causes me to become extremely angry. Yes, water is wet, and you can't hate a woman for being a woman. But fuck, does it ever make my blood boil sometimes.
I honestly think I have been thrown back into the anger phase after this entire experience.
Cheers, advice appreciated.
juliusstreicher 6y ago
Let me see: You are acting like a bitch, and she tells you to stop acting like a bitch...Hmmm...what to do...
If nothing else, READ THE FUCKING SIDEBAR!
OK, before you do that, STOP ARGUING WITH THIS BITCH! That just further lowers your frame.
Now, go read the fucking sidebar.
BrodinsOats 6y ago
Holy fuck, 220k and your own company at 25. What are you consulting on?
To answer your questions, I would advise focused meditation. Check out The Mind Illuminated for an in-depth how-to guide.
This type of meditation will train your brain's executive function, which will enable you to recognize an impulse or compulsion (like an angry emotion), and immediately drop it to focus on more rational long-term goals (like remaining stoic—which will better drive her attraction for you and keep you prepared for other options, rather than wasting your energy in emotional reactivity).
LordThunderbolt 6y ago
That's the type of shit I wanna know
Arhamzubair 6y ago
Dude, drop her ass
zboo1h 6y ago
Maybe you're being seasonal. You can't be seasonal. This shit is year-round. You can't let some girl make you seasonal.
huge_gap 6y ago
Yeah you're the prize not her. Downgrade to plate focus on yourself and your business and have fun. If you live together then move out or have her move out. In my experience when you show weakness they never forget and will always hold it over you.
Yeah she's hot and her pussy is good. You can get that all the time. The only common denominator is YOU LIMITING YOURSELF.
RedBigMan 6y ago
Time to next her. I hate to say it but she's probably fucking some other dude now.
Next time you bang a girl you're thinking of LTRing and they have multi-millionaire parents, just realize that at $300k savings + $220k a year you're going to be close to what they deal with in a few years assuming your company continues to grow. Doesn't matter if you're meeting Joe the food joint owner or Bill fucking Gates most of them started out like you with an idea and a business to grow.
Viking_RnP 6y ago
Doing well in life by your definition or by the definition of those you wish to impress?
123InigoMontoya123 6y ago
It really sounds like you need a group of male friends in this new town. Even if they aren't your preferable characters, go out for drinks and a good time with hopes of expanding your circle, all the while ignoring her texts or at least being vague and sparse with the responses. It sounds like the basis of your problems is her being your only true friend in this town, and that you're coming off as needy. Show her that you don't need her help and that you're capable of entertaining yourself without her.
juliusstreicher 6y ago
I don't think that he is mature enough to hang out with people who are NOT his preferred characters. He's too busy trying to impress the chick, and will pick up their shit habits.
900_year_old_vampire 6y ago
Is it possible to regain respect after losing frame due to jealousy? How do you prevent jealousy when everyone wants your girlfriend?
stop being jealous.. that shit is just part of having a hot girlfriend. ive always taken it as a compliment and thought it was kinda funny. ive always rather enjoyed it when dudes try to hit on my girl at the bar or whatever. especially the drunk motherfuckers at 2am closing time. ive never felt the need to step in, i just sit back and enjoy the show. good luck with that shit homie you look like a clown trying to game my girl and we both think its funny and a bit sad
How do you gain social dominance in a new social circle, especially as someone who is more quiet naturally? This is just a weakness that gets highlighted at the dinner parties we go to (can you learn to be good at this, or do I just stop going to as many of them?)
yea you can get good at it.. learn how to drive a conversation. learn how to turn any random 10 second interaction into an interesting 15 minute conversation. learn how to be a story teller. that being said.. knowing when to just keep your fuckin mouth shut is equally important, and equally attractive. they are all just tools in your tool box, and you use them when it suits you.
How do you internalize your success when you're surrounded by wealthy people? (220K / year is part of the 1% where I am from, but I don't feel good about it at all, which is very sad since I came from nothing.)
youre doing fine. i dont ask people about money.. its one of those things you arent really supposed to ask people. that shits their business. as long as everyone you care about is eatin, you should feel comfortable with your money situation. live whatever kinda lifestyle you want, and let it speak for itself. people who ask you about your cash flow are dumbasses because its a rude thing to do
What do you do about a woman that is argumentative and disagreeable? She is like this with everyone, not just me. I never back down, but it leads to massive amounts of conflicts and fights since we're both extremely disagreeable people.
just stay dominant. she wants it, just like every other woman on the planet. shes not special. and honestly women like being disagreeable and argumentative for a very specific reason. for the beginners here we boil it down to a "shit test" and give some silly examples.. but its just to help them learn this concept. when she does shit like that, shes begging you "send me on an emotional roller coaster please, keep this exciting for me. i dont mind being the one to facilitate it. just show me that you arent gona act like a faggot every time i push a button." its a good thing, not a bad one. it means she likes you
We hang out 5/7 days of the week, 2 days are reserved as me time, is this too much?
nah
kranos33 6y ago
As an older guy:
This relationship is not going to last. Keep that in mind. It will run its course and it will end. You are both young, and figuring out what you want. So, enjoy as long as it last, but that means not letting her disrespect you, and you not doing things that you don't like to do just to please her.
You have your shit together, and keep it like that. Probably going to meet more interesting people over time and find somebody that you like.
Also, most models are dumb..... sorry to say that, but the only "super smart" model I met in real life, was a "plus size" model.
Remember, beauty fades, but stupid is forever.
[deleted] 6y ago
That last line is literally how I came to terms to beating my oneitis. She was really really pretty & nice to me but dumb like hell & a club/party girl who’s into trap rap music & hookah.
Pretty much the worst set of hobbies & traits I can think of.
I stumbled across a variation of that line somewhere else and I realized that I deserve better and can do so much better.
Epictetus2017 6y ago
Now, as someone who is a similar age and size to you who also rubs shoulders with multi millionaires on a daily basis due to family connection, but has nowhere near your income..
Dude, you are killing it. I am working to try to be in your position by 35 due to a late start.
I can't think of a single person who wouldn't be impressed by that resume at 25. I wish I had that kind of drive at 15, but I became a bankrupt addict instead.
Try not to compare yourself to others. Envy is a bitch no matter your success. Just use it as fuel to rise higher. And remember how hard you can fall and how many losers would love to see it happen to justify their shitty life.
As for the girl... I don't think you will have trouble replacing her. Just make sure she is aware of that. And that you are too.
I know a man who has a net worth of over a hundred million, but is an introvert who married a crazy beautiful woman. Better to remain alone then pick the wrong one.
brinkleybuzz 6y ago
Your problem is oneitis. A woman can't respect a man who places her on a pedestal because she has no choice but to look down on him. The problem with this chick is she's used to men putting her on a pedestal, so disrespecting men is her default mode.
Ask yourself ... would you rather have a HB7 who treats you like a king or a HB9 who treats you like shit?
bluepillcarl 6y ago
You say she is an HB9 but what has she done in life that's impressive at all? She's good looking...so what? She sounds like a shit head. You're young and super successful... Why does she deserve you? This girl is going to cheat on you lol... And why? Because she's a bitch and because you have made yourself too available and not a challenge for her. She will seriously cheat on you with some bottom feeder.
Take a second and browse through some chicks on tinder and tell yourself if you wouldn't bang some other chicks on there based on pure physical attraction.
You need to start focusing on every negative aspect of this girl. It's already starting to ruin your life because you're soo emotionally invested that you made a life decision and moved to her town expecting to be together and now she's becoming hard to get.
The best thing you can do is start valuing yourself more and think about hitting up other girls who are even hotter or just stop valuing her so much.
[deleted] 6y ago
[deleted]
juliusstreicher 6y ago
This means to move out of town. She wants you to be more manly, yet you are hanging on like some bitch.
Further, stop trying to be the alpha of a group. You just be you; if you're following your TRP prescription, you will be the alpha naturally. If not, either find another group (out of town) or keep improving your value.
[deleted] 6y ago
Dude you are absolutely crushing it-there is no one woman worth this many questions....
If you can get a model once, you can get one again.
Especially at 6’5 & Doing kickboxing + 220K/year ?
Fucking ridiculous, you are the 1% regardless of wether you are actually making 1% money or not. Most of those guys making crazy money are old as shit by the time they get there.
You have your shit on-lock and this ONE girl has you this worked up ?
I expect better from you bro :)
Just leave and do what you want and see how she comes running back when she has no other options as well put together as you.
Even if she doesn’t come back, it’s better for you-you come first dude.
htbf 6y ago
Answer this question as honestly as you can to yourself :
How ready would you be to let her go right now and get back to single life and focusing on yourself, your needs and wants? If you don't feel ready now, what do you think would make you?
I'm not saying to next. I'm saying that she feels your attachement to her and it's repulsive. A woman needs to feel like you can stand up and leave.
She's a model hb9, I get it but with the kind of money you have, you could be engineering the kind of social life where you'd have three hb9 girlfriends.
eaeulis 6y ago
firstly you moved into HER town. your FRAME is practically gone.
oneitis detected.
abundance missing.
man, you basically have a good life and it’s in order, but you’re fucking it up with this ONE girl.
get hobbies and get your balls back mate.
ioncehadsexinapool 6y ago
Downgrade to casual and start seeing others if possible
askmrcia 6y ago
You can have pretty much any woman you want. Why are you hung up on this random model again?
Rollo_Mayhem3 6y ago
Yeah I have to agree, if you have all that going for you, you have options. And it also sounds like the two of you are not a good match. She is telling you that you are not measuring up or meeting her expectations. You say you come from average means...well find a girl just as hot that was not raised a spoiled brat...the way things sound, not good...
VasiliyZaitzev 6y ago
Hmm. If only someone hat written the TRP Field Guide to Dating Models...oh, wait....
You're welcome.
Uncle Vasya’s Guide On Dating Models
-You Landed a 10. How to keep her in line.
DadOnDabs 6y ago
Dread game. Let her catch you checking out some apartments back home.
BurnieSlander 6y ago
You say your falling into beta behavior, but in her eyes you’ve already hit the ground.
And she isn’t “becoming” more disrespectful- she straight up DOES NOT respect you. Respect is black and white here.
Girls that hot require more swift and more extreme action. Weaponize your attention and withdraw it from her.
LordThunderbolt 6y ago
"The self confidence issues specifically come from the lack of respect and admiration from my partner."
There u go. You re young, attractive, rich, and you have shit going on for you. Explain to me how u need this specific girl in your life in any way? There are other ones out there.
"About 6 months ago I met a beautiful 20 year old HB9 model while traveling and we fell in love. I decided to move into her town since I have the flexibility and her moving to my town did not make sense at the time (perhaps this was a bad idea.)"
Love? You've only known her for 6 months. It takes pregnant women 9 months to pop a baby. You re not doing this right at all. Were u seeing other girls when u met her? Did u plate her at any point? You conpltely relocated for a chick u met only 6 months ago. That's very very weak.
After reading your whole post, I only have one question. WHY? Why are you torturing yourself so much for 1 chick? Dude, why would u try to date a model? They're no good. They're vain, they drown in male attention, are too high maintenance. Why the fuck are u doing this? 6 months ago you didn't have any of those problems. Why cant u just find yourself a cute chick who doesn't bring all this bullshit?
kankouillotte 6y ago
http://archive.fo/FH4Jh
why do you settle for 1 girl ? with your situation and age, you have to experience being fully unplugged, and you probably easily can
88boxturtle 6y ago
Stupid fucks.