I've been re reading the side bar as of late and two things stuck out to me:
- dont marry a girl with an n count of 5 or higher because it makes it difficult to pair bond with their husband
- Iron Rule of Tomassi # 2 NEVER, under pain of death, honestly or dishonestly reveal the number of women you’ve slept with or explain any detail of your sexual experiences with them to a current lover.
So basically my question is: How do you determine your partners n count relatively accurately without revealing your own? I feel as though asking for hers and then refusing to reveal yours is gonna start shit with your relationship. Thanks.
mushroom_overlord 6y ago
Look at what she does, don't listen to what he says. You will never know if she's lying and it's pretty much accepted for most women to lie about it especially if she had a cock carousel period.
"I had a few one night stands in college" or "I had a few casual flings in college" could man anything from literally just a few or it could be a hundred. The hamster will not feel like it is lying so it will not be clear.
Instead observe how she treats your relationship and get a sense of her history through subtextual analysis of her actions. N-count is a possible indicator of pair-bonding potential, but what you are really looking for is simply whether she is actually pair bonding with you and isn't incapable due to being "damaged."
[deleted] 6y ago
Cut her in half and count the rings, like a tree... duh.
Don't be so literal. Honestly, you'll never know her n-count. The reason for the advice is that the more cock a girl has tried, the less value she places on any one individual cock. Use other metrics to vet her suitability for an LTR.
Don't kiss and tell is an absolute. It's a zero sum game. There is no positive outcome for you. Keep the mystery.
MattyAnon Admin 6y ago
DO NOT MARRY. Ever.
You can't. Women lie. Don't even ask.
However... the trick is to judge how well she pair bonds to you.
My experience is that n-count doesn't make much difference, but I've never tried to marry one.
majorketone 6y ago
I know everyone says not to marry and after taking the pill I definitely see why, but for someone that wants kids eventually I'm going to have to try my best at securing the best possible wife. Despite its flaws, marriage is still the best route to go if you plan on having kids and that is an important goal of mine in my life.
MattyAnon Admin 6y ago
So you secure the best possible woman for your children, and then enter into a contract with her that PAYS HER TO LEAVE YOU??? Why would you do this?
No, it's not.
It is PROVABLY a bad plan.
Why give her the chance to leave and be supported by you? Wouldn't you rather encourage her to stay? By removing alimony, she's less motivated to leave. (You pay child support either way).
Marriage confers no obligation on her. If she divorces you, you'll need that money to look after your kids, not to hand to her.
Come on man... think about this more clearly.
ioncehadsexinapool 6y ago
I never know what to say so I always say “one more than whatever your number is”
TheSmashingPumpkinss 6y ago
lame.
"how many girls have you slept with?" "are we just talking today, or...?"
grin and change subject
[deleted] 6y ago
[deleted]
majorketone 6y ago
I think the point is that if you want to get married or have a good LTR a girl having a shit ton of bodies is going to make it difficult for her to pair bond with you effectively. So basically just for LTR/wife vetting would be the only time I would be worried about it. My plates can have whatever count they want.
[deleted] 6y ago
I've been re reading the side bar as of late and
twoone thingsstuck out to me:a girl with an n count of 5 or higher because it makes it difficult to pair bond with their husband2. Iron Rule of Tomassi # 2 NEVER, under pain of death, honestly or dishonestly reveal the number of women you’ve slept with or explain any detail of your sexual experiences with them to a current lover.So basically my question is: How do you determine your partners n count relatively accurately without revealing your own? I feel as though asking for hers and then refusing to reveal yours is gonna start shit with your relationship. Thanks.FTFY
TheStumblingWolf 6y ago
I think obsessing over n-count is a sign of weakness. All I care about is whether she can give me what I want (whatever that may be). When I started my RP journey I did obsess a little over it, and I eventually found out it was something I did to calculate the odds of me measuring up to her past experiences. Basically my fragile ego was trying to figure out if it would be hurt or not. It's a waste of time. You do you - and disregard your ego.
TheRedPillMonkey 6y ago
Agree with this. I also think 5 is arbitrary and subjective to age. If a girls n count is 5 by 18, that's a lot different than 5 by 30.
It's more about what her value is to you and what she provides.
RedBigMan 6y ago
Exactly... You have to take into account her entire history not just the n-count.
How old was she when she started having sex? There's a difference between a female who starts boning dudes at 12 and one that starts at 16. Likewise if she's 18 and has had 2-3 partners that may seem like a lot but if she's 30 and has only has 2-3 that's not many at all.
Also take any number she actually gives you and multiply it by 3. Some girl tells you she's had 3 guys then you can probably safely assume the real number is around 9. If she told you she's fucked 10 guys well make sure you wrap your crap.
nofilmynofucky 6y ago
If you're looking for an LTR, establishing n count is important for various reasons that anyone familiar with TRP should already be aware of.
It's fine if that info is not valid to your purposes but to assume that desiring this knowledge will always be the result of weakness is very short sighted.
TheStumblingWolf 6y ago
I think the high n count is a symptom and not a cause. The pair bonding impairment spoken of I think is the result of an underlying psychological issue that would also cause a bunch of other behavior. That means I think looking at the n count is like looking at a tree in a forest and obsessing over that one tree.
nofilmynofucky 6y ago
Yeah, and symptoms are a great way of determining underlying problems - which you should be actively attempting if you're vetting a girl for LTR potential
TheStumblingWolf 6y ago
When you put it like that, I have no choice but to agree with you.
brinkleybuzz 6y ago
A woman's dick count is unknowable trivia because you generally won't get a straight answer. When I kept getting '5' as the answer, I just stopped asking.
If you're evaluating for an LTR, you definitely need to find about out her past before you commit. Look at it as learning about her life story rather than getting a precise N count. Was she a party girl, in monogamous relationships, did she go through a slut phase, does she have a history of trying to lure high SMV guys with sex (i.e. history with 'assholes' and 'jerks'), etc.
Give off a sympathetic, non-judgemental, sex positive vibe, get to know friends from her past and allow enough time and you'll find out what you need to know.
SpinPlates 6y ago
That's a bit extreme. I'd say 20 would be my personal max.
OGlancellannister 6y ago
I don't think this is a very productive line of inquiry. For one, you'll never be able to tell if your information is legitimate, and even the most seemingly innocent girls can get pretty wild. Moreover though, the more success you have with women, the less it seems to matter in my experience. It used to be that high N women left a stale taste in my mouth, but almost all of that was due to issues with my own ego and insecurity. Once you hit notch counts in the low triple digits yourself, or even 50+, none of that really matters, and it starts to set in how you can never truly possess a girl anyways.
There's no fail safe method, but if you're that concerned about it you can use basic logic to get a rough idea of n count. The younger the girl, the likelier that it is lower. The less she travels, the likelier that it is lower. If she has not gone away to university it is likely lower. Even then though it is so difficult to determine notch count from behaviour since women will act incredibly different with different men. I would imagine though, a young, untravelled, small town girl has a higher likelihood of a lower notch count due to increased social shaming and decreased anonmynity.
[deleted] 6y ago
Every woman has had cum on her face, in her ass, and in her belly. Is she providing value besides her vagina?
Nomfwic 6y ago
Don't ask her, with experience you can estimate based on how she pairbonds . ie if you're fucking her and she has this half dead mannequin look in her eyes, she has a high N count. If you going all out as rough as you can and she demands it even harder/faster/nastier , she has a high N count.
As for disclosing yours, theres no point in being honest, I normally playfully banter around the subject and give ludicrous answers.
[deleted] 6y ago
Confirmed
Last ex was a slut
I have no idea what her boundaries were sexually because I never approached them
She thought being tied up, nipple clamped, ass slapped, and slammed anally was just good clean fun
Chick started trying to bite and scratch me toward the end, I stopped her but I think she was hinting that she wanted real pain from me
Morphs_ 6y ago
you sure that's not a typo? Shouldn't it be low N count?
Nomfwic 6y ago
No typo bro . That blank look im talking about indicates her failure to pairbond. If you ever fuck a girl with an extremely low N count , while fucking, you see something.... A sparkle of sorts. To her it's new, beautiful and special. But if she has had 100 dicks in her , shes not going to experience that because its really not something new.
Morphs_ 6y ago
Ah I got you. Yeah that look is kinda scary. Almost as if you're looking death into its eyes, while fucking. (bit overly dramatic I know, but it's a dead look nonetheless).
Forgot_Pword 6y ago
You can definitely ask for hers and not tell your own. I have.
It's not always appropriate to ask right away, but if it's very high there are slut cues. If she slept with you on the first date for instance.
Also is 5 the updated number? I thought it was 8
majorketone 6y ago
This is from "the misandry bubble" on the sidebar. And thanks thats probably what I was thinking, basically just ignore her request for you to answer. Thank you for your insight
Forgot_Pword 6y ago
I say "I just don't tell as a rule" and stick to that.
I've tried out the joke with mixed success:
Her: "How many girls have you slept with?"
Me: "you mean tonight?..." counts in head, carry the one...
Actually it's good. Softens em up for the "No, I just don't tell"
majorketone 6y ago
Awesome thanks
Morphs_ 6y ago
Why isn't the guy allowed to say his count?
majorketone 6y ago
read this
quicklogaccount 6y ago
FORGET about her damn n-count. There is no way to know the right number, even behavioral changes caused by fucking a lot of different people vary wildly between people and places. Oh, and it doesn't really matter.
EVERY guy that ever bothered about his partner's, whether present or idealized, number of partners or sexual past, has to do these things, in this particular order, or he'll be an average frustrated chump at best, or screwed up (in the broad sense) cuck at worst:
1 - Go and fuck around. A lot. Do shit that toys with your sense of adequate and inadequate. Understand that being adequate earns you nothing at all but an special appeal to prudish chicks that will still want you. A new pussy will always be more worthy than a used up one but you need to fuck around enough to internalize that no pussy, new or used, is worth a lot;
2 - Understand the nature of women so you don't get fooled. They are all hypergamous. Acting weak always causes attraction to lower;
3 - Understand what is a shitty relationship and rewire the "relationships are hard" bullshit. They're not, they're easy, they're pleasant and they're better than fucking around for you. If your relationship isn't better and you catch yourself longing for its past or freedom, you need to break up. Don't consider fixing it unless you have some real hardcore ironclad reasons for it.;
4 - This is the last one. Understand the trade offs between women. This is where the n-count will matter. Experienced women must be funnier and more exciting because they're unforgiving about frame losses, they're harder to handle. Some aren't funnier or are too depressed and low self esteem to be unforgiving about frame losses, these aren't meant to be ever considered for a relationship. If you try a relationship with them you'll end it because it won't be better than fucking around. Low count women must be tame because they're not as much fun. Some aren't tame, some try to be fun and fail, but don't expect one to succeed unless you don't really know what fun is. Just hard next the ones that aren't tame, they're not relationship material and again, if you try a relationship with them it'll suck.
You don't really need to know her count. All you need is to have the guts to end any relationship that has grown to be a hassle for you. Do this and you'll learn how to lead relationships properly pretty much naturally. If you prefer tame women over fun women you will end up with a low count chick (unless you lie to yourself about her being LTR material or not).
beermagnate 6y ago
The 1st rule is fucking bs. The lower her count is, the more likely she is to be curious. I've dated girls with low count and they tend to be delusional and not be in tune with their sexuality.
RecklessLibido 6y ago
Cope
DadOnDabs 6y ago
Why the fuck does everyone obsess over n-count. Marriage is the one thing this sub condemns anyways so why do you care?
[deleted] 6y ago
Your first point is useless.
No girl is going to truthfully disclose her n-count.
Morphs_ 6y ago
Wrong. My last gf was very open about her n-count. The reason I'm sure she wasn't lying was because the count was insanely high. She was hesitant to say it, I had to make sure she didn't feel judged. It was like 5 times my count, and she's 13 years younger than me.
It's important to telegraph non-judgmentalism all the time.
majorketone 6y ago
Yeah I was thinking the same thing. Hoping some of y'all had some luck/advice in that department
Speedracer1111 6y ago
Deleted to prevent doxing
quicklogaccount 6y ago
Not really.
Women are TAUGHT to give a low number in order to make themselves seem more valuable for men. Their natural drive is the opposite, the higher the number they have the more powerful they are because they can seduce more people. Hence why pre selection works.
When chicks believe you are non judgemental and that you might admire them more for "what they are" and "their feminine side and female sexuality" instead of feeling "threatened and insecure" because of it, you get chicks lying the other way around. Mainly the insecure ones that only felt like they fitted in after fucking or that admire a lot a confident cc rider.
If you have some time to waste you can play with your frame a bit and see chicks bragging about being whores and lying to brag further. One ex did it long ago, a tinderella went to great extents to brag about it then desperately tried to reverse the frame she set because she believed i gave a shit about it.
[deleted] 6y ago
I don't think alcohol is an accurate way of getting a girl to disclose her real n-count.
I've had drunk college girls tell me "You're the second guy I've ever been with." lol, ya right. It's a natural reflex for girls to shoot out a low number regardless if they're drunk or not.
trpjnf 6y ago
You can’t determine it. I know a girl at 50+ who lied and told her current boyfriend that he’s only the third guy she’s slept with. Don’t believe a word that women say and stop giving a fuck about how many guys she’s slept with
185poundsofhatredWIP 6y ago
So if you don't want to marry ever, you can drop thinking about how many cocks your unicorn has had.
BestSC86 6y ago
Don't ask....
Just realize a few things...if she sucks your evening meal down thru your wee-wee or provides you with the craziest, kinkiest shit you have ever experienced the she isn't a virgin. This is A lot around here, some dude crowing about the unicorn that they found with no n-count but who gives just him the most amazing blowjob in eternity and fucks anal on the first date behind the 7-Eleven. Of course, she cooks good Swanson microwave meals as well, so dude is thinking of LTRing this unicorn.
Two items
I have noticed is that if a girl talks or concentrates more on the sex\fucking than on commitment\relationship then she is a high n-count slut and you can count on her n-count being exceedingly high.
The more kinks she has or the most easily she jumps into doing shit such as anal, bondage, etc, then the higher the n-count.....and I mean extremely high n-count. Given how attached girls' orgasm is to feelings\emotions for the man they are fucking, it takes a ton of dick for a girl to have to resort to those things to enjoy sex.
Note:
Now, of course, to the mega pussy slayers who will declare that they found a virgin and it was them and them alone that took her from virgin to bondage\BSDM\anal....well, congrats, but then you are dealing with a alpha widow and that is nearly as bad than a slut.
And frankly, if you are looking for the typical TRP unicorn, who fucks on the first meetup after a Slurpee at the Tastee-Freeze, is begging for anal before going on your 2nd date to McDonalds, and give blowjobs under the table while waiting on her Double Cheeseburger, then the more dicks she has taken the better.....it is prereq, actually. Also a prime reason why TRPer self-select for bad LTR material, but that is a discussion for another day.
nofilmynofucky 6y ago
some advice:
Pretend to be super chill and unconcerned when it comes up. Statements like:
everyone should have their fun
it's 2017, who cares?
Shit like that, just aim to validate her bs and don't come across as judgemental. Once she feels certain that you not only will not judge her, but you actually encourage the shit, she'll open up to you. Won't happen all at once, will be a process over a few weeks at least but you'll get something much closer to the truth and can make your decision based on that
Nergaal 6y ago
Your partner count should always be: "enough"
She never cares about the actual number, only if it seems enough to seem like you know what are you doing, but not too much to seem like you are a player. Enough is literally what she is looking for and keeps the mystery.
Terdmuffin 6y ago
I think most of trp would advocate not marrying regardless of n count. So who cares?