This is a classic example of what is termed a "victim puke". You're barfing out self loathing without a discernible purpose or lesson learned. Let me help:
Hating yourself is not self improvement
Recognizing that you are a loser is step zero, not step one
So, if you want to fill this giant emotional black hole and stop repulsing sexual prospects, figure out these things:
What are you good at, and how can you maximize it?
What do you not like about yourself, and how can you break the cycle of obsessing about it?
With less self loathing you'll free up head space. With more head space you can reflect. With reflection you can create a plan. With a plan your actions will be congruent with your mission. Congratulations, you'll be much less of a loser at this point. Good luck
Glad to hear it. One of the things I love to say to others is, "I am a beacon of fucking positivity." It is easy to be fun, interesting, and attractive when your mindset and attitude are under control.
Anxiety is inwardly an obsessive preoccupation with failure and outwardly a preoccupation with being disliked. Overcoming anxiety is often simplified into "not giving a fuck" but that is just a symptom. Being able to look at the guy in the mirror and say "I like this guy, he's #1" is the cause.
Improving your physique, straightening out your mind, and achieving your goals is the fastest way to liking the guy in the mirror, no surprise much of TRP's advice is dedicated to doing just that.
Couple of basics:
No contact means NO CONTACT. Do not stay in touch, and if you can't resist creeping social media block her on everything; no sex either, even if she insists she's cool with it, because this was clearly the most important relationship of your life so boomerang game ain't you
There's a reason we tell you she isn't yours, it's just your turn - this is classic AWALT where she is "worried" she'll regret not slutting it up in her prime years. You are correct there is nothing else you could do here
You are headed into your prime years and not behind in any way - you're in shape, make good money, and have sexual experience. Your value is increasing.
Now is the time to get out there and really sharpen your game
There are 1000 other women available to you that will fuck you and treat you BETTER than she ever did. Go find them
Now I give you permission to go forth and SLAY.
The phenomenon occurring here is called a "covert contract". It's rudimentary low value male behavior. This guy was hoping that by doing the "nice thing" and putting this girl up rent free, she would give him a shot.
This is a classic mistake and occurs in everything from prospecting in bars to marriage. Your behavior should emanate from a place of "I'm doing this for myself, or because I want to." Your behavior should be transparent and direct. It should never be a passive aggressive attempt at reciprocity by trading something for nothing.
What's most telling is she was annoyed at him for treating her like a sister, not a failed pursuer. She didn't even let him vaguely enter the romantic section of her friends list. Don't be that guy!
Just to be clear - do not engage means don't enter her frame and start the verbal intercourse on her terms. It does not mean avoid.
I'll use an example from an ex. "we need to talk. I I I you you you mememe [series of illogical blame statements] us us us I'm not happy I deserve to be happy."
I let her finish, and responded with, "right before now, I was happy with the relationship (punish bad behavior). I'm getting what I need and what I need won't and doesn't change (be an Oak). It seems you feel, despite none of the way I treat you changing, that what made you happy before doesn't make you feel happy now (light pressure flip). What are you really feeling? (invite the emotion to find answers)"
I did 3 things here: flipped the nexus of the discussion from me to her, focused on the feelings, and changed the subject. What came next?
"I just FEEEEELLLLL like we need to spend more quality time together". Boom. Truth comes out, and it's easy and practical to solve on my own ("we need"). She told me in a really roundabout way I was dreading her too hard and she wanted more comfort. I proceeded to spend exactly zero additional time with her but upped the comfort when I did.
I knew a dude with middling standards who did the equivalent of "nice shoes wanna fuck?" as his only move. He never went home alone and claimed the success rate was roughly 5%.
askMRP is the best place to lobby this question, but I'll take a shot.
What you're getting at, in my opinion, is effectively beyond core TRP. It is correct and non-negotiable that core TRP is "absolutely never get married" and one of the nagging questions left intentionally unanswered is "what do I do if I want to procreate?" MRP exists because TRP reaches full stop at this peculiar point.
The reason for this dictatorial absolute is TRP teaches men to think for themselves via extremes, because the practitioner of said extreme will eventually reach his own independent conclusion of how to carry his life. This is Being A Man - deciding on how to do things for yourself.
Trouble is, we usually find boys and busted men in pretty rough shape when they get here. Fortunately, men are coachable and take to prOscription (emphasis intentional) and anti-platitudes well.
Don't listen to her words, follow her actions. Perfect example. That's proscriptive (don't do this) and anti-platitude (lacks any sort of moral authority and insists on observation). It helps confused beta men stop doing choreplay because wifey told them doing the dishes is sexy. However, once the guy starts to develop he'll ask a question like "guys she keeps nagging me to wash my feet, is this a shit test?" to which we reply "No you fucking dunce, your smelly feet are unpleasant." Then he reaches the Aha! moment of I Have Consider The Context And Decide For Myself, rather than posting an askTRP/MRP thread every 2 days.
Anyway, the purpose of that long introduction is that "Don't Get Married" is exactly the same formula. It is a proscription against living the blue pill fantasy of the unicorn, with plenty of applied knowledge regarding often unjust family law. But, just as you have done, guys who REALLY internalize the red pill start to feeling the nagging cognitive dissonance between the dogma and their personal mission.
Want my personal take? TRP isn't here to answer that for you, so fish in MRP or askMRP and figure it out with them (and eventually, by yourself). HOWEVER, I have seen your posting and you clearly get it, so consider making some top posts here sharing your knowledge and opinions. We need good original content, always. I think you'll find that many ECs here are really interesting guys with quite divergent views on myriad topics, but we're woven together by the core underlying principles. Stay long enough, and you'll find receptiveness from this crowd on the topic - just not on the main sub.
The Virgin, having never fucked a 6 for some practice, decides to enter months of monk mode. Monk mode sounds like a cool thing anyway, and there's no reason to do anything until you have absolutely maximized every positive attribute while minimizing your negatives. This works in the Japanese video games he plays anyway. Surely, he rationalized, the cure for being unable to attract girls is voluntarily not talking to them for an extended period of time!
The Chad spectrum thinker smashes some chubby. Chad realized he was beginning to get a bit too obsessive about his dry spell, and figured it was time to break that cycle. Chad regains confidence and mojo from this, and begins to subconsciously feel abundance. Chad lands an 8. He loves her tight body, but she quickly escalates with a laundry list of demands.
Chad texts a plate who drives directly to his house with food and beer in hand. Chad contemplates what kind of effort he wants to put into each girl while getting the ol' corkscrew deep throat gack gack action.
22 year old me would stand absolutely no chance against 28 year old me. The difference was so extreme I can't really put a scale to it.
And I did WELL for 22.
No reason to handcuff yourself when your market value is skyrocketing.
No reason to feel guilty. She undoubtedly has something lined up too....
Reality show planned "engagements" are not TRP lessons. This is people magazine tier trash.
Hilarious comeback. Proof that adaptive and IN THE MOMENT beats rehearsed, no matter how polished, every time.
On the "more than plate" scale I exclusively pursue women who make at least 50% of my income. I usually encounter a softer version of this, particularly if they're >28yo or so. The answer is never the same but the subcommunication is - "I'm here to get you the dick you need without the neediness you abhor."
I netted a girl at the grocery store, took her on a first date, and then she asked me for my Instagram. She was young enough I didn't think anything of it. I saw the follow request, added her back. Four hundred and forty two thousand followers. She made her living off this thing. Thought to myself, good try on that power play.
Second date I bring her to mine, cook, the usual. As I'm about to send her home she seemed agitated. I ignored it, but as it came down to the I'm pushing you out the door conversation she broke and asked me if I followed her back. She knew the answer, of course, because the app fucking tells you.
I just said "yeah, you are quite the John Basedow" kissed her, and closed the door. She obviously didn't get the reference and certainly Googled it aggressively on her way home.
Moral of the story: they're just girls. Lead and they'll follow (you back)
A big portion of the readership here, new and not new alike, has a revenge fantasy. They want to get back at the girl who laughed at them when they asked her out, they want payback on their cheating girlfriend, and they seethe with anger at their ex wife who took their money.
The motivation for many initially is that anger, and that can be positive. Being pissed off got a lot of readers in shape. However, that anger can also manifest itself as cold treatment of strange women. A plate whose face YOU laughed in when she begged you to commit. An LTR you snuck out on because sexual strategy was amoral. Much of this "asshole" behavior is completely anchored by women as your mental point of origin.
There is nothing wrong with being selfish. RP advocates it, actually. But as OP states, when the asshole behavior is not a front but instead anchored by yourself as the mental point of origin, it changes the nature of the actions themselves.
The guys out there really killing it are behaviorally congruent with their belief that they are the prize. Not the dudes lashing out from past pain.
I've said before and will say again that I will always write for free. This is my way of paying Patrice forward.
Yes - it's really not intentional in the vast majority of circumstances.
I think it was a comedian who said "girls never suck a dick. They tell long stories that end up with them in a dick sucking situation."
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